01x03 - Bummer School

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[Phoebe gasps] Good, you're up!

We need to discuss our plan to catch the Mastermind.

Sure, let me just grab some breakfast.

Hey! That's my breakfast.

[spits]

[laughs] I knew you'd do that

so I buttered the toast with anchovy juice.

Ugh!

Now, since we're undercover on assignment in Secret Shores,

I've been working on getting us cover jobs to blend in.

Way ahead of you!

I already got us cover jobs at Chloe's school.

So we can keep an eye on our sister

while we keep an eye on the town.

Great idea, Max.

It's a terrible idea! Max already has a job.

Don't say being your friend.

I won't, because it's not a job if you love what you're doing.

I'd love you to leave.

I heard the word "love" and that's good enough for me!

So when do we start?

Today. I should get dressed for work.

[zapping]

Whoa! I thought our Thunder Watches

could only change us into our super suits.

I had Thunderford give 'em a little update.

[laughs]

I had him put yours as Santa mode as a joke.

[chuckles] I am delightful.

Do I look delighted?

He tricked me!

He said Christmas casual was in style!

I'm updating. Uh, try it now.

Whoo! I like it!

Much better! Though you were really rocking that beard.

What are you guys wearing?

Did Colosso give you makeovers again?

No. Max got us cover jobs at your school!

My school? Where I have away-from-you time? Great.

Come on, Chloe!

You're gonna love having us there!

Guess who your new vice principal is?

-[gasps] Me? -No. Me!

[chuckles] You are the art teacher!

What? Max, I'm terrible at art!

I know and that's why it's hilarious.

This makes no sense.

How could they makeyou vice principal?

I dunno. I sent two very impressive fake resumes

to the principal, and I guess she could just

get a sense that... I'm better than you.

But why art? It's literally the one thing I'm not good at.

That's not true, Phoebe.

There's lots of things you're not good at.

I'm good at this.

Really?

What? I am good at that.

Fine.

Oh! We're freezing each other before breakfast now, huh?

Technically, you ate my breakfast.

Your disgusting anchovy toast didn't count.

Stop taking other people's things.

Stop making gross anchovy toast.

[overlapping arguing]

Enough arguing!

That was not an argument. It was a healthy debate.

Don't embarrass me at school in front of my new friends.

Chloe, we're not gonna do that.

Yeah, we may argue a lot,

but we'd never do anything to embarrass you.

Phoebe! As your vice principal, I demand you open this door!

And as your art teacher, I say... [blows raspberry]

I'm sensing a negative aura between your siblings.

Do you think they'll stop blocking the door soon?

I left my backpack outside.

I can hold this door all day, Max!

[grunts]

You might wanna get a new backpack.

[Chloe]I come from a family of superheroes.

But now, my brother and sister and I

are heading to a brand-new town.

[Phoebe]We're going undercover.

[Max]To try and solve our most important mission yet.

* A picture-perfect family is what we try to be *

* Look closer, you might see the crazy things we do *

* This isn't make-believe, it's our reality *

* Just your average family *

* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *

* Livin' a double life *

[upbeat music playing]

There's Secret Shores' newest student.

How are you enjoying school, Chloe?

It's great, Principal Taylor.

But I liked it better before my brother and sister got jobs.

Sweetie, I was just being polite.

Save your drama for someone else's mama.

And don't forget to enter the Mascot Masc-Off.

Sure. Also, what is it?

It's a competition to design the school's new mascot!

Why are they changing the otter?

Well, our previous vice principal and art teacher

were attacked by a family of otters.

It was horrible. And adorable.

Any chance they'll recover soon, so my brother and sister--

Oh no! We are not doing this again, Blabbie!

Hey, guys! Did you hear about the Mascot Masc-Off?

-[both gasp] -Don't say those words!

Not after last year's Masc-Off.

Wait, they changed the mascot last year too?

Yeah, we used to be the Secret Shores Manatees

until a student got headbutted by one.

How was I supposed to know you can't ride them?

Jinx and I entered the contest to come up with a new mascot,

but we couldn't agree on an idea.

I wanted the Space Yetis!

And I wanted the Fighting Granola Clumps.

Anyway, since we couldn't agree,

we had to quickly throw something together.

[twinkling harp music plays]

Uh, for our mascot idea is, um...

the Secret Shores Garbage Can!

We Garbage Can win this game!

[all booing]

Even the teachers were booing.

Naming the mascot would've made us legends.

Yeah. Everyone would've thought about us

whenever a kid tripped and fell in that logo.

-I'm that kid, aren't I? -Usually.

Well, maybe we can come up with a new mascot.

Sorry, but Jinx and I swore on a moonbeam

the two of us would never enter again.

Yeah, we're out.

But you never swore anything about the three of us entering.

Chloe found a cosmic loophole!

We're back in!

Awesome! And if we win, we'll definitely be legends.

Look! I have juice bumps!

They're like goose bumps, but vegan.

Phoebe's coming. Let's leave before she embarrasses me again.

But isn't your sister the art teacher?

Maybe she can help us with our mascot!

[chuckles] Oh, Jinx. You're hilarious.

I am? Cool!

[bell rings]

No running in the halls!

[inhales] I love power!

Hey.

What's up, Pheebs? How's the new job?

Oh, well, I know you find it hilarious

that I'm the art teacher,

but I actually had a really good day.

Hm!

-Are your hands glued together? -Yes. Please help me.

[zapping]

[grunts] Ugh!

I'm just not meant to be an art teacher, Max!

There's all this paint and glitter!

So much glitter!

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

my day was awesome.

Principal Taylor took me out to lunch,

I napped in my office,

and, uh... well, I guess that was it.

[chuckles] Best cover job ever!

Okay, look, I have no idea how you got vice principal over me,

but you need to start taking your cover job more seriously.

Oh, I am. I'm right in the middle of finding

a teacher to fill in for a sick janitor.

Ugh. Feel bad for whoever that poor sucker is.

Wait, I'm the sucker?

Aw, but, Max, I was gonna go out after school

to patrol for the Mastermind!

And these kids are depending on me

for freshly mopped floors. So... mop to it.

You're lucky I love mopping!

[grunts]

[upbeat music playing]

How are the mascot designs coming?

Fantastic!

Our school needs an inspirational, feel-good mascot,

which is why I give you

the Secret Shores k*ller Whales!

Maybe something a little less terrifying.

What about the Secret Shores Sparkly Unicorn?

Maybe something a little more terrifying.

[sighs] This is useless.

It's last year all over again,

except we're not in Jinx's hospital room.

That place had the best pudding.

Hey, what if we combine your ideas?

We could enter the Secret Shores Narwhals.

I love it! Narwhals are the unicorns of the sea!

Oh, we're gonna be legends! The good kind.

Not like the kid who only walks backwards around the school.

Exactly. Now we just need to create our mascot costume.

Not a problem. [sighs] Take my hands.

We'll manifest one with our collective minds.

I was thinking we could just make it out of papier-mache.

But we can try your way first!

[all] Narwhaaaaal!

Is it working?

No, but keep going.

[all] Narwhaaaaal!

[upbeat music playing]

I'll show Max!

I'm gonna make this the cleanest floor he's ever seen!

That'll teach him!

I'm really bad at revenge.

Talkin' to your mop?

No. Yes. Don't judge me.

I get it. Must be how

you survived those lonely nights in prison.

Yeah... I'm sorry, did you say prison?

Yeah. Your resume said you spent four years

in the slammer for sampling grapes at the supermarket.

[in low voice] What did you do, Max?

Sorry. Were you muttering to me or your mop?

Oh, uh, I was actually just wondering

if you still had my resume in your office.

I actually keep a copy in my bag

for whenever I need a good laugh.

I got my degree from the Upstate Academy of Artsy Art Stuff?

Normally, I wouldn't hire anyone so unqualified,

but I did it as a favor to Max.

You don't say no to a vice principal

who's been knighted by the King of England!

You're giving me prison eyes right now. You alright?

Not... really.

Well, your resume says that

scraping gum really relaxes you, so namaste.

Or should I say, "scrape away"?

Max thinks he is so smart.

I'm gonna make him regret ever becoming vice principal!

[mop clatters]

Dang it! I forgot I'm the one who has to clean that up.

[upbeat music playing]

[excited chatter]

[yelps]

Whatcha doing, Max?

There's a bunch of kids lined up outside my office.

Just 'cause I'm vice principal doesn't mean

I care about the students.

Well, they must've seen what you posted on the school socials.

You're hosting donuts with the vice principal?

[scoffs] What kind of an annoying try-hard

would steal my phone--

And it was you, wasn't it?

Nobody messes with Prison Phoebe!

Prison Phoebe?

Oh, you saw the resume.

-[chuckles] -Yeah, I did.

And now I know how you got the vice principal job over me.

Okay, so maybe I had entirely,

incredibly way too much fun making us fake resumes.

But, I mean, these are just cover jobs. Right?

Yeah. Tell that to those students waiting for donuts...

[loudly] Vice Principal Thunderman.

-No, no! Phoebe! -[students screaming]

[Max screaming]

Huh. Maybe I am good at revenge.

[upbeat music playing]

Look how great our narwhal is!

Never underestimate the power of teamwork.

And soggy newspapers.

Once we win and become legends,

do you think they're gonna build a statue of us?

They'll have to once they see this pose.

Pose with me!

That kid who walks backwards is gonna be so jealous of us.

Oh, I gotta go home and change for the competition.

Me too. I mean, the part about going home.

I don't need to change. That mall psychic said

I'm perfect the way that I am!

Well, I guess I'll see you guys at school then.

Who wants to keep the narwhal head safe?

Well, I live in a yurt on the beach.

And my name is Jinx.

-So I should do it? -[both] Yes.

-[typing] -Oh yeah!

Max will never see that coming.

Unless I tell him.

Which I probably won't.

We're in a fight.

He said I'm too old to use the word "rizz"!

-You are. -[gasps]

[grumbles] As if your little donut stunt wasn't enough,

you just had to leave a lunch bag full of smelly food

with my name on it in the teacher's lounge.

It was a fish head and liverwurst sandwich,

-to be exact. -Ugh!

It completely stunk up the place!

And now the math teacher's calling me the Vice Stinkable!

I hope you're happy.

Oh, I am. Thank you for asking.

I am done letting you make me look like a fool at school.

Good! 'Cause I'm about to make you look

like a fool at home too.

I'm emailing your number to every parent

saying you're always available to chat about their kids.

[gasps] You wouldn't.

I would.

-[whooshing sound] -And I did!

[phone ringing]

Dealing with annoying parents is worse than smelly sandwiches.

Sorry, Max! I tried to warn you.

No, you didn't!

That's because I got rizz.

Am I using it right?

[both] No!

[chuckles] Your phone is never gonna stop ringing!

Unless I do this.

[chuckles]

You realize you could've turned your phone off.

I do now.

And just for pointing that out, I'm taking your phone down too.

Don't you dare! Cherry sent me an adorable picture

of a panda hula dancing I haven't responded to yet!

-No! -[both grunt]

That's it! Go beast mode on her, Maxey!

What? You know I can't stay mad at you.

Let go of the phone, Phoebe!

Prison Phoebe don't take orders from nobody!

You didn't actually go to prison!

That's not what it says on my resume!

[grunts] Let go of the phone!

-Give me back my phone! Oh! -I'm not letting--

[both grunting]

-[smashing] -[Max grunts]

[both panting]

[Max gasps]

Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no!

We destroyed Chloe's mascot head!

You know what? You keep the phone!

[growls]

[upbeat music playing]

Maybe we can fix it before Chloe sees.

My narwhal!

I think she saw.

Chloe, we're so sorry.

Yeah, we are.

But technically, Phoebe should be more sorry.

Dream on, Vice Stinkable Butthead!

Knock it off, you two!

-He started it! -She started it!

You both started it! Sit down!

-I said sit down! -[Max yelps]

Because of your fighting,

Jinx, Booch, and I have nothing to present.

Forget being legends. They're never gonna talk to me.

I wish Phoebe wouldn't talk to me.

[imitates mockingly]

You two are the adults in charge of me!

-Start acting like it! -[both] Yes, ma'am.

I have to figure out a way to tell my friends I let them down.

You're lucky I don't ground both of you!

She can do that?

[sighs]

Man, we really messed up.

Listen, I'm sorry I made you a bad resume, okay?

It's just that I was always the cool one in school.

The handsome one, the humble one.

Yeah, I get it.

But you were always the one everyone respected.

I wanted to know what that was like.

Well, we both messed up.

We were so busy fighting over our cover jobs,

we forgot about our most important job.

Being a superhero heartthrob?

No! Giving Chloe a normal life.

While being a superhero heartthrob?

You're right.

I wish there was some way we could make this up to her.

Hm! Your wish is my command!

Have you been back there this whole time dressed as a genie?

Don't judge me, girly!

Or I might not give you this. Look behind the chair.

Whoa! Colosso, how'd you do this?

Unlike you, I'm actually good at art,

and I figured I should help you out.

That is pretty awesome, Colosso.

What do you want?

Some new short shorts!

And when I say short, I meanshort!

Nobody wants to see that.

Gotta save Chloe's friendships. Buy the bunny shorts.

Fine!

Hot Bunny Summer, here I come!

Our next mascot is weird,

butnot capable of attacking humans,

so give it up for the Secret Shores Sunscreen!

[students cheering]

[funky electronic music playing]

That dancing bottle is making me feel really good

about our narwhal chances!

Me too! You know I'm not the competitive type,

but we're gonna cream that sunscreen!

Yeah! If Chloe ever shows up with the head.

Where is she?

Right here.

[chuckling]

Wait, didn't you forget something?

It's about this big... Looks like a Narwhal head...

Yeah, about that. I don't have the head.

Oh no! It's happening again! What are we gonna do?

Quick! Grab that garbage can and suit up!

No! I mean, I don't have the head because--

[Phoebe] Chloe!

...my brother and sister were bringing it!

Yeah! Remember, Chloe? You asked us to bring your narwhal head

to make sure it got here safely?

Yeah, that's totally what I did.

Do I wanna know where you guys got this?

It involves a bunny and short shorts.

Say less.

[funky music continues]

[cheering]

Give it up one more time

for that dancing sunscreen!

[laughs] I don't get it, but whatever.

Okay! Next up, we have the Secret Shores Narwhal!

-You ready? -Ready.

Um, guys, one problem. I can't see.

What do you mean you can't see?

[Jinx] There's no eyehole.

I could've sworn I made one,

but that might've been the alternate universe me.

I said, the Secret Shores Narwhal!

What are we gonna do? He can't dance if he can't see!

We have no choice. He has to go on.

I'll do it. Have the nurse standing by.

[applauding]

[students cheering]

[upbeat techno music playing]

* Break it down *

[students cheering]

Look at him go!

Dance like nobody's watching, Jinx!

[thudding]

Okay, new plan.

Dance like lots of people are watching!

Colosso forgot to make an eyehole.

He's so not getting those short shorts.

We gotta help him. Put on your dancing fingers.

[telekinetic whooshing]

[students cheering]

Look at Jinx go! It's like the beat is controlling him!

[telekinetic whooshing]

Yeah, it's a pretty powerful beat.

[music concludes]

[cheering]

[Jinx] I crushed it! Encore!

[both] Encore?

[techno music resumes]

[Jinx groans, grunts]

-[all gasping] -[music stops]

I still like him better than the sunscreen.

Jinx! Are you okay?

Did we win?

Spiritually or actually?

Because I think both of those answers are no.

Ugh. This whole thing was a mess.

I really wanted to help you guys win.

[sighs] It would've been great to win,

but losing together as friends is just as good.

You're right. This is our first spectacular failure together!

I really wanna go home so the winner of this year's

Mascot Masc-Off is... [imitates drumroll]

Let's go. Who cares about winning this dumb competition?

The Secret Shores Narwhal!

[cheering]

Yes! We won the dumb competition!

-[laughter] -We're legends!

Look! Now I have juice bumps!

Or maybe it's a rash from the costume.

Either way, let's pose!

[softly] Thank you!

[dramatic fanfare plays]

[cheering]

Well, I gotta say, it feels good.

We were finally able to stop fighting

and help Chloe with her friends.

Yeah, and we learned to respect

each other's cover jobs.

We sure did.

By the way, that janitor's still sick.

I'm gonna need you to clean up Jinx's mess.

We really doin' this?

No! N-No, Prison Phoebe!

[upbeat rock music playing]