11x10 & 11x11 - Life Savers/Tattoo

[bunniefuu]

♪ MTV ♪

Yeah, the woods sucks.

It's, like, full of trees.

Shut up, dumbass.

Hector said there's
a naked swimming hole

out here somewhere.

I know, but, um,
I think we're lost.

We passed that tree,
like, three times already.

Trees all look
the same, dumbass.

Not that one.

It's got a butthole.
See?

Check it out.

Oh, yeah.

Well, good job, asswipe.

Now we're lost.

How is anyone ever
gonna find us out here?

♪ Up here in the sky ♪

♪ Up here I feel free ♪

♪ Up here with the eagles ♪

♪ My glider and me ♪

Whoa.

Beavis, we gotta get that
guy's attention somehow.

Yeah, and let him know
he sucks!

You suck!

Yeah.

You suck really bad.

You sing like a butthole!

Beavis?

Butt-Head?

Hello, boys.

I'm up here flying
with the eagle--

Ah! Ahh!

Oh.

Ah.

Whoa.

It's Van Driessen.

Oh, yeah.

Ugh, boys.

My leg is broken.

You need to carry me
to get medical attention.

Oh.

Uh, no.

Yeah, we're lost.

So, like, um--
so we don't want to.

Boys...

I had hoped to rely on
your basic human decency.

You'll find none
of that here, sir.

But you're lost, and I know
the way out of the woods.

You need me
as much as I need you.

Uh, oh, yeah.

Needing people sucks.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Whoa.

That's JJ Escobar.

Yeah, yeah.

Who's JJ Escobar?

Uh, I don't know.

Some fat guy with
a sock on his head.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Backyard wrestling kicks a*s.

Yeah.

And he's holding it.

Come on up here.

That's the Grand Prix
trophy!

That's the hardcore
Grand Prix trophy!

That's the Grand Prix trophy!

That's the hardcore
Grand Prix trophy!

This kicks a*s, though.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It sure does.

This is the calm
before the a*s-kicking.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ooh, this could get good.

Yeah.

Yeah! There it is.

Yeah. Go, go!

Yeah.
- Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, there you go.
There you go.

Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, yes.

Ooh, this could get good,
Butt-Head.

Oh, my God.
This is not going to be good.

- Yes!
- Yes.

Ooh, yeah.

That absolutely kicked a*s.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, it almost looked
like he jumped off on purpose.

And then he landed
in those boxes that

just happened to be there.

That's cool.

You know, um--
you know, Butt-Head,

that's what I love about
this sport, you know?

It doesn't give back
to the community, you know?

Yeah.

That kicks a*s.

Think anyone's gonna
call the police?

Someone will probably,
like, call 911

and be like, uh, hello, 911?

This is cool.

Come down here
and check this out.

Yeah, yeah.

This is so cool,

it's an emergency.

Get down here immediately.

Just bring the guy
with the heart attack.

He'll want to die here

more than wherever
the hell you are.

Trust me.

He'll wish this was
the last thing he saw

instead of his dumb life
flashing before his eyes.

Then she's like,
"OK, sir, I'm sending

the fire department because
they like to party too."

It's like...

Uh, yeah, One Adam 12,
we got a 69, 69.

Something cool is
happening, over.

I'm gonna go in there
and drink some beers, over.

No, Adam 12,
wait for backup.

We're coming in with a keg.

You know what kicks a*s?

Every single person you see
here is breaking parole.

Yeah.

He looks like your mom
fumbling around the kitchen

at night looking
for some beer.

Like in between sessions.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the truth hurts,
you know?

This is known as
an old growth forest,

which is crucial for wildlife--

This sucks.

He just goes on and on.

It's too bad he didn't
break his mouth.

Jesus.

Here, you'll notice

an interesting species
of tree moss.

The Indigenous people--

Hey, Butt-Head.

He's gone.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Somebody!

Uh, there he is.

He's taking a nap.

Yeah, look at him.

He's just lazy.

He just lays there.

Just, like, pull him
over here with a stick.

Pull him.

Yeah.

Come on.

Put some muscle into it.

Jesus!

It's like he doesn't
even wanna be rescued.

Come on.

Butt-Head, my arms are tired.

Me, too.

Uh, I think it'd be easier

if we were, like,
both on one side.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Set this down.

Oh!

There we go.

Oh, ow, ah.
Ooh.

Ah, ah.
- That's better.

Um, boys?

Ah.

Oh, ah! Ah!

Carrying one side together
was a good idea.

It's a lot lighter.

Yeah.

Hey, Van Driessen,
how much longer--

uh, damn it.

What's wrong
with that butthole?

Yeah, yeah, really.

You had one job, you know?

Boys, it's late,

so you're going to need
to forage for food.

OK?

This book will help identify
the safe edible plants.

Uh, this sucks.

I don't see any food.

Whoa!

Check it out.

It looks like a schlong.

Is this thing, um, edible?

Uh, let's see.

Uh, there it is.

And skulls are cool.

Yeah, that must mean
it's cool to eat.

Yeah.

Uh, here you go.

Yeah, it should taste cool.

Yeah.

Now we're going to go
look for food

that doesn't look
like a schlong.

Whoo, check it out, Butt-Head!

Let's go back
and get Van Driessen.

Don't be stupid, Beavis.

He said he needed
medical attention.

This is a restaurant.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh.

Uh, we brought you back
some of our extra tacos.

Yeah, you owe us $12.

I don't feel
up to eating, boys.

Uh, is it because
you only like food

that looks like a schlong?

No, I'm very ill.

I have vomiting and diarrhea.

Whoa, cool.

Yeah, Van Driessen kicks a*s.

Yeah.

Let's just put the extra tacos
in his pockets,

and then he can eat them later.

Boys, that might not be
a good idea,

because these woods are
a habitat for--

Ah!

Hey, bear, no.

Kick-a*s.

- Whoa!
- Ah!

No!

Do something!

Distract him.

Well, see you later.

The bear's probably
taking Van Driessen

to go get medical attention,
you know?

Yeah.

Van Driessen is, like,
friends with nature.

Um, so, like,
how do we get home?

Uh, we can't go home, dumbass.

We gotta find that
naked swimming hole.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, naked.

Almost forgot.

Whoa!

There's that tree again
with the butthole.

We're back on track.