01x03 - How to Use My Unluck

[bunniefuu]

[gears clicking]

[crunches]

[dramatic piano music]

UNION ISOLATION FACILITY,

ROOM 1859

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[QUEEN BEE's "01" playing]

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[singing in Japanese]

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♪♪

♪♪

AUGUST 4TH

LATE NIGH

[beeping]

What do ya think?

This yacht handles like

a freakin' dream, right?

She's pretty souped up, too.

We're gonna reach Vladivostok

in no time, just you wai huh?

The heck are you doing?

[Fuko Izumo] Didn't you hear

a word of what that guy said?

Of course, there will be people

hunting you along the way.

Here's hoping you both

arrive there in one piece.

[Fuko] About how they'll be

hunting us the entire way there?

So what? Big whoop!

You're on my awesome boat!

Come on out and enjoy the ride!

No, I'm scared!

We could be attacked at any moment!

Let go of me!

You buzzkill. Until that happens,

a little partying on deck

ain't gonna k*ll ya.

- Huh?

- [both shouting]

See? I told you so!

Heh, didn't even get one drink in, huh?

Man, they're such lousy shots!

They keep this up,

it'll be smooth sailing!

Are you kidding me?

This boat's gonna get blasted to pieces!

If that happens we can blow out

of here with your unluck.

My unluck doesn't work like that!

It's unpredictable!

It's all how you use it.

[rapid g*nf*re]

My undead ability,

it's not just about death prevention.

If I cut a part of my body nearly off

and make it grow back in place,

it becomes a weapon!

Parts b*llet Fist!

Ah-hah!

Y You did it.

Does this mean we're in the Union?

[Andy] What? No!

Weren't you listenin'

to what that brat was sayin'?

We've gotta go find and k*ll

the person with

the emblem on 'em.

Oh, the emblem.

[Andy] Those two g*ons from the other day

had gold marks on 'em.

If I had to guess what their

member emblem looked like,

it'd be that,

and I've got a hunch who some

of the other members might be.

Three people off the top of my head.

First is the maker

of this indestructible sword

I swiped. They call him Unbreakable.

Second would be

the engineer type guy who did

all those experiments on me 50 years ago.

And third was the person who

actually nabbed me back then.

A lady with the ability

to create invisible barriers.

Invisible barriers?

[Andy] Yeah, she actually packed

my head into one of them.

I'm talkin' real sturdy walls.

I was in a tight spot, literally.

I may be undead, but I'm not unbeatable.

It's gonna be a bad match up

if we're up against that lady.

[Fuko] I see.

So even Zombie

has people he's weak against.

If we end up facing that woman then

But I don't give a crap about any of that!

No matter who gets in our way,

we're gonna get ourselves

to that lake and k*ll that mark.

Ain't nothin' in the world's

gonna keep us from our goal.

Besides, if we get in a pinch,

we'll be able to make do with your unluck!

What? I told you!

Don't count on my unluck!

That makes it even better!

[engines screeching]

Guess I'll have to take the time

to get a feel for your rules

before things get hairy.

Get a feel? There's no freaking way!

You're gonna get all pervy on me!

- Sure will.

- So honest!

I'm telling you now,

do that and your likability

won't change the slightest bit!

Nah, it will. You pushover.

It will not!

[Gena Chamber giggles]

You just don't change, do you?

I mean, after all,

you're the only man in this world

that I could have ever loved.

[booming]

[both] Huh?

[booming]

You'll be just fine.

It's all part of how you never change.

You'll make your way back to me soon.

NO.003

HOW TO USE MY UNLUCK

AUGUST 5TH

[Andy] That was insane.

What in the hell attacked us?

Hmm?

That's an unusually long trail

of air bubbles.

Hmm?

Huh, little brat's out cold, huh?

If she's asphyxiating

or in cardiac arrest,

each minute docks her survival

rate by about ten percent.

Gotta book it.

Her legs are caught under

the wreckage, huh?

In that case

[squelching]

I'll wedge my arm stumps in here

and grow 'em back all at once.

All right, now to get topside and

Hmm?

[snickers]

[coughing]

[Andy] Good, cough out as much as you can.

[Fuko coughing]

[Andy] Relax. Take deep breaths.

[Fuko breathing heavily]

Huh?

Hold on.

I remember being pinned under the boat.

I'll explain it all later.

We're about to get caught.

Stand up and put

your hands above your head.

[Fuko] Huh?

[screams]

Uh, an enemy?

[man] Undead, is it

your intention to surrender?

[Andy] You betcha!

Huh? Seriously?

No, dummy. I'm just buying time.

For my experiment.

This little test will help us

figure out whether

or not there's a way to control

that crazy unluck of yours.

Uh, huh?

Of course it can't be controlled!

That's why I have issues

in the first place!

You can't control it at will,

but I've got a little theory going.

- Huh?

- [Andy] All your previous strokes

of unluck were phenomena

that utilized things around you

but what about the lightning bolt

from the haircut

or the meteorite from the kiss?

Uh, they used things from far away?

Yes! In both cases,

you forcibly pulled in things

from far away!

And why did those two things happen,

you may ask? It's because of the value

- of the haircut and the kiss.

- [stammers]

Those two actions hold great

personal value

and materials needed for strokes

of unluck proportionate

to those values weren't available nearby!

[Fuko groans]

How embarrassing.

It's like he's breaking down

my views on romance.

[Andy] So, you see, for this one,

I found a source that'll produce

a stroke of unluck proportionate

to the value.

And if my hunch is right on this,

it's gonna be one hell of a repercussion.

Hmm? What do you mean, "This one?"

But you haven't done any Wait.

[gasps]

Wha why is my bra

all pushed up like that?

I gave you CPR.

Those pushed-up chest melons

of yours were in the way,

so I kinda moved them off to the side.

[Fuko squeals]

He saw and touched them?

But that's all you did, right?

Huh? All? Heck no.

You still weren't coming to so I did it.

- Huh?

- [rumbling]

I gave ya mouth-to-mouth.

[gasping]

[booming]

[Fuko screams]

And bingo!

Now it's time for my special move!

Repair Boost!

Crimson Crescent Moon!

[snickers]

It's a quick draw slash that's boosted

by my arm's repair powers.

Learned it from a Japanese sword master.

I made sure not to damage the c*ck.

This puppy is ours.

Huh?

Oh, wow, your arm! Doesn't that

I use it as a sheath.

- Now quit your nitpickin'.

- [groans]

Open your mind.

- [shouting]

- [laughs]

[screaming]

How was that?

Seems like we find a seed

of unluck and get a grasp

of the contact level suitable

for triggering it!

After that your unluck won't

be just accidents.

It'll be your high-powered trump card

to turn things around!

[Fuko whimpers]

Now we've got a new way to move about.

Nice going, kid.

Uh, hold on!

I'm sure this is just another fluke!

Seriously, don't count on me!

Enough already.

Everything went fine,

so just roll with it.

[Fuko groans]

All right!

Let's book it to Baikal!

Vodka, here I come!

[Fuko] You changed the

whole point of the trip!

[jet engine roaring]

[computer] Self destructing in

WARNING

SELF DESTRUCTION HAS STARTED

ten, nine, eight

- [squeals]

- Uh-oh, bad news.

- [computer] Six, five, four, three

- [squeaks]

[Fuko screaming]

[squeals] Why'd the plane explode?

[Andy] They figured out

we swiped their ride!

[Fuko] This is no time to smile!

We're falling!

It's no big deal.

Got a little trick from my mercenary days.

We'll stick a five-point landing!

Five-point landing?

- First, ba*ls of the feet.

- [bones cracking]

- Next, sides of your calves.

- [bones cracking]

- Then, butt!

- [bones cracking]

- Back!

- [bones cracking]

[Fuko] So many gross sounds!

Suck it!

[breathing heavily] All right, success.

I could have sworn you said,

"suck it," at the end.

[Andy] I said, "success!"

- Anyway, we've landed now.

- Huh?

Be sure to keep your head down.

Our mark could be around here anywhere.

[clears throat]

[gasps]

[Andy] Welcome to Lake Baikal,

the world's deepest, clearest,

and oldest freshwater lake.

The organization's gonna

be here investigating a UMA.

Seems like a likely spot

for a UMA to hide out,

truth be told.

It's so huge and wide and pretty!

Guess there really is a lot more

to the world than Japan.

What? Your first time overseas?

Uh-huh! I've always been a shut-in!

[chuckles]

In that case, you should go do

some sightseein'.

- What? But

- Don't worry about the Union.

There's too many tourists around here.

Out in the open's not their style.

They're stealthy.

I'm gonna go track down my old w*r buds.

They'll back us up when we need it.

We'll each be flyin' solo for a bit.

[Fuko] Um, wait a second.

Huh? What do ya need?

When it comes to us joining the ten

Hmm?

Who do you think we'll have

to take on this time?

Like, what if they're completely rational

and reasonable?

[Andy] They're dead meat.

Courtesy of Yours Truly

so I can get in, too.

Plan stays the same.

Oh, by the way,

are there any foods you're not keen on?

- Uh, wasabi!

- All right, then, no problem!

- It's all settled!

- [Fuko] Hmm?

Listen, the buddy I'm about to bring over,

they run a k*ller restaurant!

You've gotta get a taste of their borscht

or this trip's a wash!

I'll make us a reservation, okay?

We're gonna party!

- [shouts]

- You're on your own until then.

[Fuko groans]

[Andy] You made it all the way to Russia!

Don't waste it by being

your usual, timid self!

Have a good time!

[Fuko] It's only been four days

since I met Zombie,

and now I'm in Russia?

- Easier said than done.

- [man speaking Russian] What's this?

Are you alone?

Maybe you can have tea with us?

[Fuko] This is insane!

He's so inconsiderate!

I can't have fun around people

with this cursed body!

Then again,

if I hadn't crossed paths with him,

I'd be dead by now.

[Gena groaning]

[Fuko] Hmm?

[Gena exhales]

Hmm.

- Oh.

- Hey, there.

Ah, busted!

Wow, a Japanese girl!

I mean, you're from Japan, aren't you?

- I'm Japanese, yeah.

- Wow, the real deal!

[laughs]

Check out my outfit!

School girlish, right?

I just absolutely adore Japanese

school girl uniforms!

Uh, I'm sorry,

but I never went to high school

so I wouldn't know.

Oh, but it seems so fun and exciting!

- Ugh, such a waste!

- [giggles nervously]

Uh?

Wow, it's so pretty.

Are these watercolors?

[Gena] Oh, how did you know?

Do you paint, too?

[Fuko] Well, you see,

I don't get out often,

if at all,

so I've dabbled in art here and there.

Not that I'm all that great at it, though.

Hmm! [giggles]

Whoa, where'd that come from?

- Why don't we paint together?

- Huh?

Well, I, um-I'm waiting for someone.

Huh? Who? Your boyfriend? Nice!

Why not surprise him

with a painting, then?

- How cute!

- Have a good time!

[groans]

[gentle guitar music]

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So, hey, L'il Lucky.

Huh?

Which do you like more:

stuff that changes,

or stays the same?

Wait, did you call me, "L'il Lucky?"

[laughs]

Well, yeah, you've got

"Good luck" written on your cap,

so you're L'il Lucky.

Personally, I like stuff

that doesn't change.

Things that are consistent

and not swayed by anyone.

Isn't it amazing for something

to stay exactly the same?

[Fuko gasps]

That's the reason why I love art.

Because you can capture

the ever-changing world

as a never-changing drawing

just like we're doing now.

[giggles]

So, L'il Lucky, which one?

[Fuko] Uh, that's a

tough question. I guess I

[giggles]

Can I have some time to think about it?

Sure, you can take as long as you like.

[Fuko giggles]

[grunts]

I'm done!

- You are? Lemme see, lemme see!

- Huh?

Oh, um, you won't laugh, will you?

I added a lot of stuff to it.

Oh, that's fine. Art is all about freedom.

[Fuko grunts]

Uh, hey, um, I wouldn't get

too close to me if I were you.

[groans]

Art has no right or wrong an

So, uh

What are those sparkles around the moon?

[Fuko] Huh? Oh, well, they're, uh

So, there's nothing up

in space except for the moon

and the sun, right?

I learned that back in school.

Yeah, that's right.

Nothing at all.

[Fuko] Well, the moon looked

awfully lonely up there

so I gave it some friends!

That's sweet, L'il Lucky. How thoughtful.

The night sky gets pretty lonely.

[Fuko] Yes, it sure does.

Oh, by the way, about your question,

if I like change?

I've got an answer.

Ah?

For a while, I couldn't change,

and it was hard on me.

So hard that I wanted to die.

But four days ago,

I met this really odd guy.

And it's been crazy ever since!

He groped me all over and locked me up on

the day we met,

there've been explosions left and right.

Next thing I know, I'm here in Russia!

And he never once took

my ten years as a shut-in

into consideration!

Then again, through all of that,

he helped me change quite a bit.

I think that's why I was able

to draw with you today,

and I had the most amazing time.

I appreciate this time of change,

and having someone who changes me.

My, such lovely words.

So very young.

So green.

And utterly naive.

Despite all those things

[Fuko gasps]

Despite all those things,

your words resonate with me.

[Fuko gasping]

Perhaps my age has finally caught up.

[Fuko gasps]

The lake.

It's floating!

Oh, Andy!

What is that?

The lake just suddenly rose up!

Crimson Crescent Moon!

You never change, Deady Dearest.

Looks like you're going overboard

with the makeup now, Gena!

Though I can still see them crow's feet!

[Gena grunting]

[Andy grunts]

Oh, wow! Look at that!

TA-DA

Another perfect five-point landing!

This is no time to gloat!

Wait a second.

Can she be the most troublesome

Yep, that's the chick who

nabbed my a*s 50 years ago.

[screams]

Send my beret.

I'll play with them till the scan is done.

[digital beeping]

[gasps]

[Gena] The boss brought me up to speed.

Your big plan's to k*ll me

and join the organization, right?

Well, it looks like you'll have

to change me first,

Deady Dearest.

[Andy chuckles]

- [Gena] And L'il Lucky.

- [Fuko gasps]

[Gena giggles]

TO BE CONTINUED

[Kairi Yagi's "know me" playing]

♪♪

[singing in Japanese]

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