01x04 - Taking out the ash

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

[Zanina] Good morning, Washington.

- Good morning.

- Wow. Oh my God.

Wonderful coffee, Washington.

Look, I appreciate the effort,

but next time

I'll just take my coffee black, please.

Fancy cream and stuff isn't my favorite.

Okay, love?

[slurps]

[Xander] Jai Ganesha.

Hey, Washington.

I'm here because of the smell,

and I don't even like coffee.

It makes me all jittery,

throws off my chakras.

But your coffee

Ooh!

[slurps]

Mm.

Irresistible.

Ah, that's some good coffee!

Thanks, Washington.

- That's so kind of you.

- Uh, don't mention it.

- Good morning. We're here.

- Morning.

- All three of us.

- [Bete] I'll tell you,

cremation's good for the dead,

but absolute bullshit for the living, huh?

Yeah, I mean, look at that.

What are we supposed to do with Jorginho?

How about we scatter him at the beach?

No, baby. The beach? No.

What about the ocean?

And knowing that man,

Yemoja would probably spit him out.

- Keep him in the living room.

- Yeah, keep him in the house.

No, no, no, guys.

No, don't put him in the living room.

There's so much crap already in there,

gathering dust.

- [sneezes]

- Ooh!

- I can't take any more of this.

- Oh my God.

Thyellen, do you need anything?

Perhaps a bit of vitamin C?

No. No, vitamin C.

Vitamin C is prevention, not treatment.

- You're a lawyer. What do you know?

- Wait a second, Xandra, let me finish.

- If you need anything, just tell me

- And tell me too.

All right, all right.

The house actually does need something.

- You know what? A full-on cleaning.

- Mm-hmm.

Definitely agree.

I was totally fine upstairs,

and as soon as I came down

my throat got scratchy.

The detective is here.

So what did we decide

to do about my dad?

- His spirit.

- [Thyellen] What do you mean his spirit?

He's not a spirit. He's a poltergeist.

Hey, no, his urn just came back

from the crematorium.

Jorginho, well, actually, Little Jorge,

is right here, all nice and compact.

Really? We just brought more dust

into this house?

[sneezes]

[knock on door]

[knocking persists]

[Zanina] Jeez.

[Patrícia] Aren't you going

to answer it, Washington?

Yeah, go on.

[knocking continues]

- Ah, well, hello, Washington.

- Good morning.

Ah, my good sir.

Look at you, welcoming me in

with such a beautiful-smelling

cup of coffee, all right.

Yes, sir, I brewed that coffee there

especially for you.

- Yeah. Cinnamon, cream. Nice.

- Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Good morning.

[chatter continues]

Morning!

Do you have to shout?

Good morning to you, loudmouth.

So did you figure out who the m*rder*r is?

The oblique method, my dear,

doesn't work in such a superficial manner.

I don't get this method.

No one does.

But that's why it works. Ha!

[Raul] Xandra, my babe ♪

Xandra, I love you, yeah ♪

This is not happening.

This is not happening.

Come on, Xandra

You and me, yeah ♪

All right, just stop.

That's enough, thank you.

I really don't need

any indigestion right now, okay?

Thank you.

- [giggling]

- Hey, what's up with this thingy?

- [Thyellen] Be careful.

- Whoa, dang.

Looks like something from Aladdin, huh?

Hey, if nobody wants it, can I keep it?

That thingy has Little Jorge's ashes.

Um I'm gonna

I'd better give it to the detective.

Yeah, here you go.

You should have this.

Hey, does anyone have hand sanitizer?

Hey, guys, finish up your breakfast.

Time to clean up the house.

Relax, boss lady.

That's what Washington's job is.

- Ah!

- [screams]

I break your power, evil spirit,

and command you to be gone now!

Jeez, Washington.

are you nervous or what?

Know what it is? Too much coffee.

- Uh-huh.

- You see,

what you all

don't seem to realize is that

my work responsibilities

are no more in this house.

[Patrícia]

So bring us up to date then.

What is your job now,

other than yelling and inconveniencing

all of us here?

Finding the m*rder*r of Jorginho Peixoto.

Hey, so is mine.

[Washington] And besides,

since I'm still on the payroll,

is there anyone here who would like to pay

for my social security?

Oh man, Washington, look,

inheritances are always complicated.

With Jorginho's estate, I'm sorry,

but I wouldn't get my hopes up

if I were you, legally speaking.

Look, Mr. Washington, legally speaking,

you are welcome to stay here with us.

But you're helping us clean.

Final answer.

- Same as everyone.

- I wouldn't say everyone,

because Patrícia is making a run for it.

No, no, I'm not running. I'm not running.

I just have on absolutely inappropriate

clothing for this.

Could I help everyone clean?

More than likely.

- But I'd need a makeover.

- [Zanina] Oh God.

Rich people in Brazil are always

so predictable.

Guys, cleaning the house

is a joint effort.

- Come on now, please, yeah?

- Wait.

There's a risk of tampering

with the crime scene.

There's a damn risk of my f*cking face

closing up from the f*cking dust,

and then two people will be dead,

and you can't even handle one person!

- [all gasp]

- Thyellen!

Uh

All right, let me just do my job, then!

No one is stopping you.

Go on then, Charles. Go, come on.

Go do your job then. Jesus.

Ugh. Wow.

- [loud crash]

- [all gasp and scream]

What is that? What is that?

[panicked chatter]

- There was an accident.

- Holy moly!

Well, we definitely have

to clean up the house now.

Washington, bring the vacuum, please,

for this mess.

I mean, Little Jorge is there

all over the floor.

[Thyellen sneezes]

[overlapped chatter]

Psst.

- I need some guidance.

- Jeez, girl. About what?

Well, which soap I should be using

for my clothes.

Well, the label tells you.

Just read the label.

But which one?

"Colors," and "delicates."

Options for this and for that.

I'm so confused here.

Sweetie, what's the problem?

All my clothes are colorful and delicate.

I want both options here.

Okay, so

Oh.

That's why I don't normally get involved

in laundry and all this stuff.

Oh my God.

- Because you're so involved with me, baby.

- Oh!

No, no, no. Darlison, not here, not here.

Not here. Hey.

Everyone's cleaning right now,

and they'll definitely be coming in.

Right?

- Oh yeah, you're right.

- See?

- Everything the same.

- Yeah.

But not for long.

Soon they'll catch the damn culprit,

and we'll be free.

- I'm not so sure about that, Patrícia.

- Oh yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

- Then look at what I found.

See this?

It's a letter I found

written by an unknown individual

making threats to our Jorginho.

At first I thought it was from a mistress,

but no, it's from Áquila.

If the writer is unknown,

how do you know it's from Áquila?

Take a look. I actually know

how to cross-check information.

Here.

It's the same handwriting.

THE NIGHT OF THE CRIME

[dramatic music]

Wait a minute here, babe.

Áquila and Jorginho

have been fighting forever.

- Doesn't mean he m*rder*d

- That's why we have a jury.

They decide.

I just don't want to take the blame

as the quote, unquote "betrayed spouse"

that I'm sure they'll see me as.

[machine chimes]

- [whirs]

- [gasps]

- Look at that!

- Wonderful.

Ah!

[squeals]

- Hey, Darlison.

- Hmm?

This is really your idea of helping out?

The car is part of the house,

and I'm helping clean up.

- And I'll definitely be getting this one.

- Hmm.

- Getting a bit ahead of yourself.

- And you're getting in trouble, so

Hmm?

What do you mean, damn it?

What's the deal with the letters?

Making real threats, huh?

Uh

What's this about?

Patrícia having one of those threatening

letters, looking for others.

Letter? Well, uh

What are you talking about?

That's Patrícia meddling here.

That wretched, awful, terrible woman

is making me look like I'm the k*ller

to hide the fact that she k*lled the man!

- Well, I wouldn't

- Good afternoon.

Afternoon.

I wouldn't be so sure.

- So is that why you came here, Charles?

- Not exactly.

I just had to quickly open the gas valve.

But don't worry, it's closed now.

And also, I managed to identify

where the pipe was cut.

- And the cuts were made

- A saboteur.

Male or female.

And by the direction of the cuts,

I'd say they were made

by someone's left hand.

- So I think the saboteur is left-handed.

- Not exactly. It might be someone

a person who normally feels

most comfortable with their right hand,

but sometimes likes to switch it up,

exactly to frame left-handed people,

or lefties,

or southpaws, or what have you,

you know?

Yara, it's time for you to realize,

there's more to investigating

besides just making hypotheses.

- But I thought

- Yara, please, let the expert take over.

Jeez, Charles.

The gas saboteur: left.

[grunts]

Ah!

What are you doing here?

Seems like I'm being stalked.

No, I'm an investigator,

and I make a note of anything

that smells even a bit suspicious.

Ah, and you smell some crime here?

Then fine!

You do it.

Actually, I wanted to have

a little chat about your brother.

Hmm.

Okay, but I never imagined I'd say this,

but I still have to fold my damn clothes

and put them away.

How far would Maurício go

for his family?

You talking metaphorically, or?

Physically, he wouldn't even step outside.

Not even if you made a request

that he m*rder your husband

so that maybe together, the two of you

could work towards rebuilding

Paranhos's family wealth?

Charles, my life's

not a stupid soap opera.

[thunder crashes]

THE NIGHT OF THE CRIME

Oh my God! Jorginho!

Are you going for a walk back here?

[Mauricio]

Just trying to cool down, man.

[Jorginho] Listen, I need to see you

before anyone else.

Let me tell you first.

I want you to draw up the papers

for Patrícia, okay?

- Whoa, what?

- For a divorce.

Divorce? Are you serious?

Come on, Maurício

If you can't see it's over

between that woman and me,

then either you're too stupid,

or, frankly, a born f*cking liar.

Huh? Wise up, man.

Go.

[thunder rumbling]

Know what your problem is, pal?

You can't seem to keep on track.

[mischievous music]

Hey.

Hey, man.

This is a bathroom, right?

I'm cleaning bathrooms.

Ah, but no one cleans bathrooms

better than I do, honey.

- Think I can't clean a bathroom?

- No.

I'm saying my bathroom

is so impossibly clean,

that the bathroom fairy

comes to my bathroom,

because after it visits bathrooms

in every place in Brazil,

it still prefers mine, okay?

Is that so?

My bathroom is so amazingly clean

that every sh*t apologizes

after leaving someone's as*h*le.

- How's that for clean?

- [gasps] Did you just?

Hey, guys, are you really arguing

about who is the better bathroom cleaner?

Are you guys serious?

I'm glad you're here,

because I have a job for you.

Honey, just don't, okay?

I got a ton of dirty laundry,

pun intended,

and a mountain of clean clothes

to carry around.

So I'm not interested.

I feel like I've spent

a whole damn week at the gym.

- What do I do then, Bete?

- Go sweep the floor.

But my allergies.

You know allergies

are just in your head?

There was this one time I had

this very expensive doctor,

and she told me that.

She was too expensive,

so I made up my mind,

and away went my allergies.

All gone.

- So you sweep then.

- Sorry?

- Well, no allergies? Pick up a broom then.

- [scoffs] Yeah, right.

Excuse me, ladies.

- Hmm?

- Sorry to bother you all,

but I saw you all here

and was hoping now would be a good time

to ask you about sweeping the floor,

because I'm struggling.

Is there anything you can show me?

All right, I can show you

how to sweep a floor.

Give me the broom.

- Thank you.

- You two

- Thank you.

- Come on.

It's very complicated.

[Thyellen] Come on.

Oh man.

[Raul] Xandra.

- Xandra.

- [gasps]

Here, look, I got all

the cleaning products you wanted.

Who comes up with these things?

Raul, come on, cleanse. Sweep.

Sweep all the collective hatred.

Sweep it away.

I'm cleaning,

because cleaning's my thing.

- [snorts]

- Huh?

- You just spat on Jorginho, Raul.

- You asked me to clean. I'm on it.

But there's a bottle of cleaner

right there.

I always use spit for cleaning glass,

phone screens, whatever.

Raul, we need more,

so much more than that

for a meaningful spiritual cleansing.

Wait, is this "spiritual" spiritual?

Like real spirits?

This house, there's a phalanx of spirits.

- I'm serious. Just ask Zanina.

- No way. I'm out. I don't want to know.

I'm just gonna focus on my cleaning,

and you know what?

Now the romantic mood between us is gone.

There was no mood between us.

There was no mood because you didn't

open your heart for me,

my queen, my goddess.

- Shh!

- What?

Did you feel that, Raul?

Feel what? Feel what, Xandra?

[whispering] It's Jorginho.

Jorginho? You mean his spirit?

- Jorginho's ghost?

- He's here.

Ghosts come back for revenge.

I've seen it in movies.

It's because I spat on him, isn't it?

I'm sorry, Jorginho.

I didn't know

about the glass cleaner bottle.

- [screams and whimpers]

- [gasps]

Did you see that? You saw it too?

The thing just fell!

I didn't piss myself,

because I have very good bladder control.

But I'm gonna use the bathroom,

because I can't handle this.

- Can I go to the bathroom?

- Yeah, go ahead.

- Is he gonna follow me to the bathroom?

- No. Go.

- Will I come back? I'm sorry, Jorginho.

- Go. Oh jeez.

Miss Zanina.

Did they make you clean up the kitchen,

my dear?

Not at all.

Oh, and by the way,

you can stop with the politeness.

No "Miss Zanina" or any of that stuff.

I'm just helping out with the cleaning.

You just simply tell me,

and I will make it all happen for you.

- Oh, Washington, no. No way.

- [chuckles]

And you, did you vacuum up

all of Jorginho?

All of him? I don't think so.

I'd say about 5% of Jorginho will be

scattered about this big house forever.

I don't know if I should be cleaning it.

Hey, Washington, I was about

to make myself some tea,

- so I don't know, would you like some?

- Oh, sure.

So I've got some herbs here.

Look. Oh my, my.

- That beautiful garden.

- Oh yeah.

My God, there really are

so many beautiful herbs here.

For your stomach, bowels, moods, skin.

For everything.

But there are dangerous herbs

there too, right?

Oh yeah, there are.

If you have trouble seeing,

you may accidentally pull up

one of the poisonous ones, yeah?

No, no, no, I'm talking about

another kind of danger.

Like what?

Aphrodisiacs.

Oh, Washington.

- [laughs]

- Oh, Washington!

Oh my goodness, you

[upbeat music]

- [knuckles crack]

- [clicks tongue]

Where did you hide those letters,

Jorginho?

Oh, damn it!

- [Charles] Washington!

- [gasps]

Washington!

[yelps]

Áquila.

You haven't seen the butler, have you?

No, I haven't seen him around here.

Everyone else is cleaning,

and you're in here reading.

No, no, no, I'm not reading.

I'm doing a crossword puzzle.

How dare you accuse me of reading?

I've had enough of this nonsense.

- Excuse me.

- Crossword puzzles, huh?

Pretty gloves you got.

Hmm.

If you need any

[chuckles]

- What do I do over here?

- Sweep it this way.

- Sweep it over here

- You're kicking up dust.

Oh sh**t, I'm sorry.

- I'm really sorry.

- My foot!

- [laughing]

- I'm sorry. I am.

- You got to be careful.

- I'm sorry.

Slow. We don't kick it up, okay?

- Now what?

- Give it to me.

You sweep it over here.

Look out, Thyellen.

The stairs, for God's sake.

[laughs]

This is how the magic happens.

Sweep it in.

Here. See?

That's it? Just like that?

Yeah.

- Genius.

- Oh, no.

Not me. God is the genius.

- I'm coming through. I'm coming through.

- But these are all wrinkled.

Forget it, I am not going to iron

everyone's clothes.

No way. Nope. Not gonna iron.

Washing and putting away

is my department.

Well, I'm sweeping. I can't do it.

- [speaks French]

- Huh?

[continues speaking French]

- [Maurício] Okay.

- Yeah, fine. I can take a hint.

I'll be in my room.

Come get me when you're finished.

- We'll sweep the rest together.

- Thyellen

thank you.

Oh, it's all right. It's nothing.

- I'll see you.

- Yeah.

- Maurício.

- What?

Now we just need to find

the other letters.

All right.

So, are you cleaning

or kicking dust around?

No, I'm not kicking dust around.

I'm learning an amazing method

of sweeping the floor

without making a mess everywhere.

Oh, that's adorable.

Maurício, that's great.

Well, you're making great memories,

which is all we have.

You've been a lawyer forever.

My rich husband's dead,

but we're still basically broke.

Sarcasm. Nice.

[mumbles]

Right.

[suspenseful music]

[chuckles]

[Darlison] Ma?

Ma?

Ma, are you in here?

[screams]

- Ah!

- [laughing nervously] Well

this surely fits nicely.

- What are you doing here?

- Well, I'm looking for your brother,

because I'd love to borrow this piece.

It's flattering.

- [laughs]

- Why?

Oh well, once this case is over,

which could be any moment,

I'm gonna need a variety of costumes,

disguises for my next cases.

No wonder they call me the Chameleon. Ha!

[both laugh]

Can you put these in the closet,

since you're here?

- Yes, of course. Sure.

- Thank you, Chameleon.

[grunts]

Here.

If you fold them nicely,

nobody will know.

[both laugh]

I'll fold them, I'll fold them.

I'll do it.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[humming]

Cleansing complete.

Oh, I'm glad!

That study gave me goosebumps.

Raul, you were so scared

you almost went pee on yourself.

Uh, of course,

it's impossible to love in fear.

[chuckles]

- Could that be a song?

- Yeah.

It's impossible to love in fear ♪

Dang, Xandra.

Because in fear I cannot ♪

There's a window.

Go on, Raul. Share with the world.

That's a brilliant plan!

For the whole world to listen to Raul.

Thanks, Xandra.

Yup.

So long, my friend.

[Raul] It's impossible ♪

Rest in peace.

to love in fear ♪

Because in fear, I cannot make love ♪

Yeah!

It's impossible to love in fear ♪

Because in fear, I cannot make love ♪

[Xandra]

Oh f*ck, are those Jorginho's ashes?

[whimpering]

[spits and gasps]

[gasping and coughing]

[coughs]

[upbeat funky music]

[giggling]

[both laughing]

[no audio]

[chanting]

- The last ones, huh? Yeah?

- No.

[blowing]

You actually worked, Patrícia?

- More than you did, I'm sure.

- I don't think so. No way.

- [laughs]

- I feel like I worked out hard.

I'm all sore.

- Let's make a toast. Come on.

- I got to tell you,

I should tell everyone in the house

to stay out of the bathrooms a few days.

Right? To keep them clean a while.

Because they are spotless.

Good idea. In all my 27 years,

I've never seen a house sparkle.

I haven't either.

Not in the 21 years I've been alive

have I ever cleaned a house.

- [all laugh]

- What?

You guys thought

I would admit my actual age?

No, I'm just really shocked

you've never had to clean anything.

- Wait, you've never even cleaned a mess?

- That's precisely why we have a staff.

In fact, hey

- Not anymore.

- [all laugh]

- All by yourself now!

- Humiliating.

Pour me a bit, please, Bete,

would you?

Huh? What the?

- Huh?

- What's the matter?

- A little bit won't hurt you.

- No, it's mine.

- Stop.

- How about you?

Huh! Were you looking through

my stuff, Bete?

[Bete] What? Not me.

I bet you it was Ma. I mean, you know,

she's the nosy one in the family, right?

Hmm.

Bete.

- Bete.

- Hmm?

- There's something we got to talk about.

- What?

You want to explain about that photo?

Hmm.

Jorginho went to Bahia

to bring the money I borrowed.

In person, but Áquila,

that doesn't even make sense.

He wanted to see Yara.

- You let him see my daughter?

- No.

I did not.

[Bete sighs]

So Jorginho gave up

just like that, Áquila?

You know he wouldn't be too happy

to give something up.

He pestered and pestered,

so I had to get rough.

[Bete] What do you mean

"get rough," Áquila?

[Áquila] I wrote a few threatening letters

to Jorginho at the time.

But he kept them

to use them as blackmail.

That was stupid, Áquila!

I was desperate, damn it.

What would you do?

And you know I did it

to help our family.

- How can you judge me?

- [Beta] You had to know

he would do something about it.

Well, I really thought he'd be

out of our lives for good.

I'm sorry, Bete.

That's okay. Come here.

You know what I'm afraid of?

That the detective could find

those stupid letters.

He'll use it as proof that you wanted

to get revenge on Jorginho.

[Áquila] Jorginho had the letters

with him on the night of the crime.

But I searched all over the house

while I was cleaning

and I couldn't find anything.

[Charles] The nine suspects.

Patrícia and Áquila.

Crosswords and the letter.

The letter.

Where's the letter?

[chuckles]

What's up, Detective? Everything good?

- What's this?

- [whirring]

[screams]

[whirring stops]

It's pretty dangerous, huh?

Luckily, I'm quite brilliant

at solving puzzles.

I'm serious.

[exhales]

Wait. Wait.

[playful music]

[exhales]

I got it, Charles.

[playful music]

Gosh, Charles!

I'll take it from here.

Hey, I want to know.

Well, okay, this might be

probably might be better

if someone else tells you anyway.

Oh my God, just spill it.

You're gonna have a brother soon.

Huh?

[upbeat funky music]