01x01 - This is not La La land

[bunniefuu]

Do you have fun on a date?

Not so.

I thought you were having fun.

No, I'm bored

This is the most boring
date I've ever had.

Yes?
-Yes.

So does it help you?

Does it help you get less bored?
-Yes.

Yes?
-Yes.

Yes.
-Yes, it helps me a lot.

Yes.

Yoo.

Yoo, god damn.

Gori, I need you at the
bar to sign something.

Good.

I'm going, asking for signatures...

Hey, what's up?

Hey.

Hey, what's up?"

All is well?

Yes, just...

there was a queue.

Well, I took the liberty of
ordering us another round.

Walla.

What?

I don't know, I didn't believe I
would meet a normal girl on the app.

A toast?

To life.

Bloody Murray

Hey.

What is? What happened?

I saw "La La Land".

What...

What, it's a happy movie.

One with songs, what do you have?

The ending is terribly sad.

It's a happy ending.

Well, then you didn't understand the movie.

How is it a happy ending if
they are not together at the end?

Because they are fulfilling
their dream, it is gratifying.

OK, but to fulfill their dreams

They had to separate.

And she became a
famous Hollywood star,

it's good, it's a happy
ending, it's a crazy ending!

What do you have?

This is exactly the
story of me and Itamar...

because I dreamed of being a doctor...

and Itamar dreamed -

To stop studying medicine.

No, he didn't.

He dreamed of being a father

and I was still studying.

And...

Our dreams collided.

It's tragic.

What's tragic is that you broke up
with him some thousand years ago

and you're still talking about him.

It's because of your movie.

Ok, fine,

so I won't recommend
you any more movies.

Thank you very much, I don't want
you to recommend me any more movies,

Excellent.

No problem.

And don't recommend
anything to me anymore in life.

Okay, stay stuck on
your ex for a million years.

Sorry?

What did you say?

What?

Wow, how strange that you
tell me I'm stuck on my ex,

just because you've been
stuck on your ex for two years!

Stuck on him.

I don't understand the hint.

You don't realize it doesn't work.
-Good.

This time we parted for good, so...

Yes, you break up and come back to him,

like a merry-go-round.

A merry-go-round, wow!

What an image!

What an outdated metaphor,

do you have a metaphor
perhaps older than that?

Maybe a shelf?

or...

a balcony.

Okay, keep being stuck.

Even your vocabulary
is stuck in the eighties.

Tell me

when was the last time
you turned on a computer?

You're a screenwriter, aren't you?

Screenwriters write

So...

sitting and writing.

Oh yes?
-Yes.

Oh, ok.

Dana,

I'm in the process, okay?

I don't write because I have no idea.

Okay, so don't
tell me I'm stuck,

all day in your ex's a*s,

And you're just wasting yourself.

Zero in on your career.

Stop your sh*t.

Wow

Dare to tell me I'm stuck.

Because what to do,
my love, you're stuck.

You are stuck
-You're stuck.

You are stuck
-You're stuck, you.

Would you like us to make quick pancakes?

There is no maple.

Yes, I bought it.

Do you want?

Yes.

Because it's a sad ending.

But what was sad for you exactly?

Is it sad in your eyes that
they fulfilled their dream?

They fulfilled the dream, but
they are not together in the end.

Okay, who said they have
to be together in the end?

Because they loved it so much, so...

So if they loved so much,
why did they break up?

Did someone force them?
Did someone put a g*n to their head?

Sometimes mistakes are made

and then you realize that it's not...
-Sometimes

breaking up...

on time.

And this is what the creator of
the film is trying to tell us here.

Think about it, our heroes,

the unrealized,

the unfortunate, the stuck,

realizing that they must separate
in order to fulfill their dreams.

And it's true, parting hurts,

farewell is sad,

but this is the only way to
make the dream come true.

And that is the message of the film.

The lesson is over.

Great. So we will part in time and...

maybe we'll make some dream come true.
-Amen.

Amen.

And Lemony, are you preparing a
presentation for us next week, about...?

Treatment of ectopic pregnancy.

Nice, nice.

And one last thing,

next week there will be a conference in Zurich,

and the hospital decided
to honor one of you.

So those who are interested
in joining Professor Avni Vali

and has a valid passport,

are welcome to apply.

Questions? Answers?

Pestering?

Pleasant duty.

Are you applying to Zurich?

Wow, I don't know if my
passport is even valid.

If you apply,
I won't even bother.

What?
-"What?"

Oh man, come on.

And say in Zurich...

suddenly there is a
"vibe" and a hotel and...

so you sleep with him?

What a moron you are.

What, are you ashamed of Amir?

He knows you're hot for Atias.

Shut your mouth.

What do you have?

They are all hot for Atias.

I'm hot for Atias.

Nice.

Good for you, that you are going to Zurich.

Good for you for being stupid.

Come on, take it, take it, room six.

Something good?

Very.

Want to change?

What is it?

Something wrong.

Vaginal fungus.

No, thanks.

Not Zurich.

I'm not really hot for Atias.

Yes.

Hey.

What?

I'm taking your car.

I leave tomorrow, seven in the morning.
-Good.

Going for a beer.

Another date?

Yes.

So why do you eat?

Pads the stomach for alcohol.

Anyone interesting?

What, from the app?

No,

from the university.

A student?

No!

A colleague, a lecturer.

Nice.

Well done to you for going out
and trying to get to know each other.

I know it's not easy.

Where will you go?

Mm?

Where will you go?

Let's be spontaneous.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Now I,

I should call and ask Scorsese:

"Excuse me, did you r*pe minors?"

If we start testing each one,

we won't watch movies anymore.

What Woody Allen did,
or didn't do in his bedroom,

it's his private business.

Completely.

Same Michael Jackson.

The man made genius
music, why boycott it?

Why not profit from it?

A chaser (drink)?

I'm back in a second, okay?

Do you come here a lot?

I have more things at your house,
I want to come get them.

It's urgent for me, so today or tomorrow.
-Good.

Come, jump whenever you want.

Good.

You come to the bathroom?

No. Definately not.

What happened? What is?

Nothing, everything is good.
I just don't feel like it.

Can I have a lemon?

Sour lemon...

to a sour lady.

There is great music here.

Yes.

Do you like music?

Eh?

Do you like listening to music

No.

Don't you like music?

No, I hate music.

I love music.

I'm back in a minute, okay?

There is a waitress, you can call her...

In the end I can't tomorrow,
so I'll come today.

Okay, cool.
I'm on my way home soon.

I'm here with Otto, I'm coming.

All is well?

No, just...

I had to eat something.

Do you want me to order you something to eat?

No, in fact I don't feel so good.

Do you want me to order water?

Yes,

and the check.

Ah.

OK.

I had a really nice...

Sorry?

Sorry?

No, what a wh*re,
she doesn't even look at the customers.

She will be free soon, I see her.

I will call her.

Sorry?!

May I have the check?!

Thanks!

Ugh!...

Stupid.

How amazing you are...

I fantasize about you all day.

How do you get into a
bar with another date...

no, these perverted games of ours,

I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

I'm starting to get tired of it.

What is it?
-Stop.

What did you say?

I say I'm getting tired of it,

and it's boring me already.

Come on, you're stuck, huh?

Enough, Gur.
-You are dumb!

What a mess.

Stop!

No!

Stop!

So will you be nice?

No!

No, no, enough, please stop.
-Yes?

I'm begging, I'm begging
- Are you begging?

What are you? What are you?
-I am stupid!

I am stupid.

Why don't you want to live with me?

Why would I want to live with a dumb?

I'm serious.

I have already told you.

I don't want to live with a gal.

But I'm dirty like a boy.

You're dirty, it's...

sure.

But you're not a boy.

So what, you want to live with a boy?

I want to live with myself

with my music

I'm not good at it either...

In living together, I'm bad.

So we have to say goodbye.

But we parted already,

and look how much fun we have.

I'm not having fun.

I also don't come to the
"kennel" anymore and I don't...

I don't stay to sleep here anymore.

"Do what's good for you, girl."

I'm serious, Gur, we need to say goodbye.

Maybe...

"See you in the next incarnation"

"Take my heart...

"And leave me only a melody..."

"Na na na..."

Do you love me?

A lot.

So it's really very sad.

But maybe this way
I will fulfill the dream.

What is the dream?

Do not know...

I need to think.

sh*t. sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Yoo, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Yoo, sorry, sorry, yoo.

Are you alive?

Yes, no, I set an alarm and it didn't ring.

You never take my car again.

Sorry, sorry, I'm really sorry,

I promise, I'll take the car
for a MOT test today, okay? On me.

The car doesn't have the MOT test?

You promised you would two weeks ago!

Why? Didn't we say
until the end of the month?

By the weekend!

The last one!

Okay, okay, I, I will go today, I promise.

I am really sorry...

Well, I'll make it up to you...

No, you, you... really.

I'll tidy up the house, okay?

And hand over all the bags of
clothes in the car for donation.

Ok.
- And bring back my red suitcase
from Gor already.

I will go to his place.

I know you are with him now.

Well, okay, well,

I hope I find it.

What does "hope you find it" mean?

What is urgent for you?
What, you're flying abroad, huh?

Oh... maybe!

Yes, why not?

Make sure it comes back to me!

Ugh...!

Hi Dan...

I just wanted to update that I have the suitcase,

And I wanted to apologize
again for the car, really.

And sorry for telling you that you are stuck.

Like, who isn't stuck?

Everyone is stuck.

No?

Wow, maybe I
should write about this

About someone who is like that...

someone who is stuck,

and she is stuck in...

that she is stuck and like,

everything that happens
to her while she is stuck.

I just don't know
why it would matter.

Whoa, f*ck!

Come on...!

What, what, what...
-f*ck.

Yoo! Yoo!

I do not believe!

I do not believe...

Say, what, are you Ret*rded?

Can't you see where you're going?

You punched your brakes in my face!

Listen, I have a stop sign here,
I stopped, right?

If you kept your distance properly,

you shouldn't have walked in
on me like I don't know what.

Come on! Look...

Look what you did!
-Sorry?

The suitcase is a total loss,
thank you very much.

The suitcase?
Say, what, are you Ret*rded?

Do you know which suitcase this is?
Really!

Too bad you didn't tie it properly!

Well, thanks a lot for the
tip really, I'm in a super hurry.

What is that? Hey where are you going
-What?

You broke my windshield.

It's a collector car,
what, are you Ret*rded?

"What?"

She is going.

I don't believe it, well.

What are you talking about here?
Move the vehicles aside!

What are we standing here?
She got into my car,

well what?
-Move the vehicles.

Stand aside.
-Tell me, am I standing here on purpose?

Come on. Come on, go!

Excuse me, Doctor?

One second. One second, okay?

Did I miss an Atias briefing?

You're lucky, he hasn't come yet.

Oh, good morning to you.

Thank you very much for coming.

Sorry, it's not my fault.

You didn't bring a stirrer!
- No, look at him,

he also has complaints,
this is indescribable.

You bring coffee,
bring it like a human being.

Prince, come let me go,
I've been awake for twenty-six hours!

Come on, my darling, come on!

What do you have?

Take.
-Thanks.

Isn't it with soy?

Oh, isn't it?
- Well, come on, come on.

I told you to write it down because you don't remember.

Well, friends, you got me this far.

I'm not your waitress, okay?

Go, go to sleep, darling.

Thanks for nothing.
-Good.

Good Morning.

Lemony, can I have a word with you?

Sure.

Idan.
-What?

Conference, Zurich, 7th to
10th, hope your passport is valid.

I can't believe it.

Lemony

I am in shock!

Professor Avni decided that...

Idan will accompany us,
because he is the oldest, okay?

Of course.

What, he also deserves it the most.

Yes, yes...

But you deserve more.

Okay, relax, relax,
everything is fine...

Look on the bright side,
you weren't hurt, I wasn't hurt.

There is insurance, everything is good.

I don't have, I don't have insurance,

I'm without the MOT test, well.

What is? Don't you have the MOT test?
-No.

f*ck, god damn.

Well, give me your license, please.

What?

You are unlucky today,
you fell on a police officer on civvies.

Bring, give me your license.

You also don't have the MOT test,

this is a very serious offense.

Are you a policeman?

Want a police card?
I'll show you a police ID...

No, listen, no, no, listen.

Yoo, officer, wait.

I'm on my way to the test.
-Enough, enough, enough.

I swear to you.
-Enough,

Give me your license.
- I'm on my way to the test now, I swear to you.

Me, this is the first and last time.
- You know how many stories like that

I hear during the day?
-I'm asking you.

Leave, give me your license, please.
- Please, I'm asking,

Listen, do me a favor.
-Just, just, I was joking, joking.

Please, I'm from...
- I'm not a policeman.

I was joking with you, what...

I'm not really a cop.

I just...

I'm not really a cop.

Aren't you a police officer?
I do not understand.

What, do I look like a cop to you?

Well, get over the shock.

Everything is good.

But imagine if I were a policeman?

What mess did you have now?

See the positive side.

Well, what... I...

I'm going to pay you for this
windshield for the rest of my life now?

Wait, let's see,
we're not animals, right?

First of all, I'm Lior,
nice to meet you.

Hi...

Hello.

Let's put the vehicles
aside for a moment, okay?

Good.
- We will exchange numbers and it will be fine.

Look what it is,
you broke my windshield.

But now I will have your phone.

Another positive side.

Live in a movie...

Hey,

Here at the turn,
stop there by the square, okay?

Stop, stop here.

Stop here!

Hey! Hey!

Wait a minute, hey!

Hey! Hey!

What a wh*re!

Oh my god.

Hi, Tamar.

I'm Dr. Lemony,
I'll check you out.

What week are you?

Thirty-eight.
Do me a favor, doctor.

Take him out.
I have to get him out.

Is this a first birth?

Yes.

How often do you have a contraction?

About five minutes, maybe less.

And the water didn't go down?

I don't know, I keep
feeling drips there...

Ok. Well, we'll wait for the
contraction to pass and check you.

Yoo, sorry, Mami, sorry...

Wow, it took you two years!
-I know.

I'm sorry, there was a queue.

How are you?

Itamar?

Dana?

What... what are you doing here?

I am the father.

Ah!

Of course.

Wow, what an idiot I am.

Of course!

Wow, congratulations!

You are beautiful...

you made the dream come true, huh?

Yes.

You too.

Yes... Yes.

Hi, hello, what's up?

Where do you know from?

This is Dana, my ex.

Oh, hey!

Hi, nice to meet you.

Very nice.

Good so...

Shall we check you?

Did you know that the baby
is in breech presentation?

Really?

Didn't you know?
-No.

He must have flipped
in the last few days,

it happens sometimes.

I want to check the dilatation, okay?

OK...

We have dilatation five and water drop.

Tamar, we have no choice,

we will have to go to emergency surgery.

Wow, I can't believe it...

I wanted a natural birth!

It'll be alright, Mami...

Do not worry,

soon everything will be behind you.

Don't worry, Mami.

We are in good hands.

Thanks.

Okay, good.

Thanks, Shani.

Who can tell me what the
problem is with the scene we read?

Someone?...

The problem is - there is no problem.

Your heroes meet and
immediately fall in love.

They are supposed to fall in
love, it's a romantic comedy.

In a romantic comedy the
romance is the catharsis,

she came at the end.

A romantic comedy always begins
with anger, hatred, indifference.

Think about it, someone
who stirs your emotions,

it's someone who wakes you up.

But why would two people
who just met hate each other?

What is this, no reasons?

There are a thousand reasons.

Okay, let's think together, okay?
Think.

When was the last time you
met someone you hated at first?

Someone overtook me in the line
in the supermarket.

OK. Another, more. More.

Wow, there's a new,
annoying bartender

at my job, he gives
me condescending looks

like I work for him.
Now, mami,

I have a little more seniority, I...

Okay, okay, okay,
we get it, we get it, we get it.

OK.
- Rivalry between colleagues.

Also, where have you met
someone you immediately hated?

Did someone annoy you at the beginning?

Yesterday I did a car test,

and there was some highly
chauvinistic tester there.

Why is he a chauvinist?
He tells you to turn on the lights,

you turn him on and are honest.

Say,

What about a car accident?

Big.

Wow, classic, car accident.

Right?

Okay, let's take it a minute.

Our heroes had a car accident,

they get out of the car, and
what do we have straight away?

Conflict, they are many.

He says: "You are guilty",
she says: "You are guilty".

They fight, argue, get angry,

but they need to change phones.

It's funny.

That's right, it's a comedy, Elisha.

Now, let's complicate it a bit.

Let's say our heroine
doesn't have insurance...

and when she gets into the car,
the licenses and all that, she...

in a moment's decision,

gives gas and runs away from him,
from the accident.

So she's trash.

Really, really disgusting.

It's not that reliable either,
she comes off as crazy.

What why? Why? Why crazy?

What about...

She doesn't have car insurance.

And he, he has a potz car, a
collector's car, full of money.

She... she's scared,

this is a repair that can
reach thousands of shekels!

This can make and anti-heroine
to the viewers.

It's also the shittiest possible,
what she does.

It's like, it's to make
viewers not tolerate her.

Sorry, Yoad,
we're not a court, okay?

We are screenwriters.
-Good.

Well, even so, what now?

What do you mean?

It's a romantic comedy

If she runs away from him,
how will they fall in love?

Ah.

Outside. City road

Maya, 35 years old, drives her car

A flying suitcase

Lior, 38 years old

A clean guy, an irritating type.

But looks good.

Wow, you totally ate it huh?

I will have your phone.

Maya gets into the car and runs away.
Without leaving details.

I didn't have time to tidy up the house, sorry.
We talk soon.

Yes?

Is this Dana Lemony's house?

Yes.

I have a package for you.

Okay, come on.

Floor?
-Second.