01x02 - Miguel

[bunniefuu]

First video game you ever
masturbated to. On three.

- No.
- Yes, dude.

- One, two...
- No, Steph, I'm not doin' this.

...three.

Tetris or Donkey Kong, Jr.

It happened on the same day,

don't remember which was first,

and... I don't care
that you didn't answer.

Great.

Hey, uh, the programmers are asking when
you'll have the new concept drawings ready

for Cyprian's apprentice.

Um, Tuesday, probably.

Um, I forgot to tell you,

I... it's my brother's
band recital tonight.

And we're doin' this whole
family dinner thing after,

so I figure I'll just stay at my dad's.

So, I'm alone tonight?

I'll make it up to you.

- I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you, too.

Do we definitely like her?

Yes... Yes, we do.

Fiona?

What the f*ck are you doing here?!

Bro,

I know this hurts right now,

but in the long run,

it's only gonna make you stronger.

I thought his brother had a band thing.

No?

- Please.
- Oh, my God. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Think the dad's still in the picture?

With you... Just to clarify.

Oh, oh. No, no, no.

- Okay, come on, come on.
- Come on, come on, you can do...

- Morning, gentlemen.
- Join us, join us.

Here we go.

Okay, you can do it.

- Come on. Come on, here we go.
- Keep walkin', keep walkin'.

That's it, dumb-dumb!

Houston, we have a moron.

- New conference room.
- It's causing mass injuries.

I could do this all day.

Well, I hate to interrupt,
but I have a pretty big update

on that project we've been discussing.

- You didn't f*ck' do it, did you?
- I knew he couldn't f*ck' do it.

Well... as a matter of fact...

Bypass that.

- Jimmy f*cking did it!
- Ah yeah!

Jimmy likes it like that.

Ay caramba.

- What are you doing?
- Dude, what are you doing to him?

What?

Nothing. Stop.

How did you figure this out?

He used a point-to-point
tunneling protocol,

which is a very complicated
and very difficult thing to do

because he's a genius.

Tell 'em your SAT score.

1570 and it should've been a 1600,

but they had those
two ridiculous analogies.

I just messed around for a while.

- We are taking you out to celebrate.
- Yes.

- What are we celebrating, fellas?
- Jimmy took down the porn firewall.

Today is like our very own
Independence Day.

Heck yeah!

- You're not invited, Chris!
- Sounds good!

- Oh! I see nipple.
- Ooh!

You think you're gonna
have a job on January 1st?

There's not even
gonna be banks after Y2K.

- There's not even gonna be money.
- We're talkin' total so...

Sosial breakdown, man.

Almost nothing will survive.

- Tell them about the patch.
- Wait until they hear this.

You know, there's actually
a pretty simple way to patch

the code in most legacy systems...

- They're gonna lose their minds.
- Look at 'em.

...and that way, you basically
avoid the Y2K problem altogether.

- Yeah, I don't think so, um.
- Mm-mm, no.

- I looked into it...
- There's no solve. We're f*cked.

Yeah, no, that's probably right, yeah.

Why'd you wanna get into banking?

I wanna make enough money
to buy a BMW M-Series

and a penthouse in the Corinthian.

- Ah, now we're talking.
- Ah... yeah.

P-house at the Corinth.

You know, you're never gonna
make that kind of money as an analyst.

- No, once you're made associate, though.
- Yeah, but promotions aren't until

- year three. At least.
- Right, so...

what if I wanna get there faster?

All right, you wanna
make associate tomorrow?

- Bring in your own business.
- Mm.

Prove you can be an earner.

You don't k*ll... you don't eat.

Yeah, okay, so, how do
I find my own business?

From my experience, you either ask
your friends' dads or your dad's friends.

All right, but, God, please,
no more talk about work.

Boys...

- who's it gonna be?
- Mm.

Your bang buddy.

Oh.

Always a tough decision, right?

How do you guys decide?

- Tightest shirt.
- Tightest pants.

Nice pants.

Thanks. They're new.

Oh, no, he, he died
a few weeks later from the infect...

I'm sorry.

- I, I don't know why I'm... It's...
- I don't either.

- It is not funny. It is horrible.
- It's, um... No, it's really not.

It's terrible.

You think you're smooth right now,
whippin' out the toe story?

No one likes the toe story.

Okay, n... Stop it. Hey, listen to me.

Not the girl who made fun of you so badly,

you spent high school
eating lunch huddled on a toilet seat.

Okay? I'm the guy that
f*cked your girlfriend. I know.

She doesn't like you.
She just thinks you're rich.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You're my special little man,
and don't you forget it.

- You shouldn't be here.
- Security! We have an intruder!

And let me tell ya, oh, we did it
in every conceivable position.

Where'd you go?

Oh, no, I was just

nowhere.

You don't have to listen
to them... you know?

Listen to who?

All the... noise in your head.

I've started to realize,
recently, it's not always the truth.

Never mind, sorry. Don't listen to me.
I, I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm just... Just ignore me.

Sure, yeah.

Actually...

I'm not... drunk... at all.

And, and I am trying to apologize less

and say what I want more.

And

right now, what I really
want is to kiss you.

So... would that be okay?

Yes.

That would be...

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, um.

sh*t.

I have to go.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

You're home late.

Did the real bankers
finally let you go out with them?

I am a real banker, actually.

Show your brother some respect.

Hey.

Come on. Yogurt.

I'm not angry.

I'm just really f*ck' disappointed.

I'm just so proud of you, sweetheart.

You are doing the right thing.

A nice girl always says she's sorry,

- whether it's her fault or not.
- Well, I-I didn't come here

to say I'm sorry.
I didn't do anything wrong.

Aside from mangling his man parts
until he quite literally wept.

I'm just here to make sure he's okay.

That's it.

Random Lindsay?

Uh, I was looking for... Jimmy.

Uh-huh... You two bang or what?

- Jimmy, Jimmy.
- Yeah.

Hey, buddy, you have a visitor.

You know, for some reason,
she thought my office was your office.

Gonna have to give me the scoop
on that one later, bruh.

What's up?

"What's up?"

So, you, uh, you told
your friends what happened?

- No. No, they saw us leave together.
- Hm, so this, this is your... office?

Why did I think you worked down the hall?

Well, I think you'd have to admit,

I never explicitly said
that that office was mine.

Oh, would I? Would I have to admit that?

He's an analyst. A baby banker.

Sorry, I've been listening in.
I'll, I'll go now.

- Hey, maybe, maybe we should...
- Sor... Hang on.

- ...talk somewhere else?
- Why does this say "Miguel"?

- That's my name.
- Oh.

Nice. Are there any other lies
I should know about or?

All right, look, I don't know
what you thought last night was,

but I'm not really
in a place for a relationship.

- A relationship?
- You, you think I want a relationship?

Well,

I mean... you brought cupcakes.

Yeah, 'cause I was concerned.

You ran out of the office last night
with your pants off, sobbing.

- Okay...
- Wait, what did you just say?

Uh, sorry, I really am gonna leave now.

All right, let's definitely
talk somewhere else.

- The kitchen is right...
- Wanna know the worst part about it?

I, actually, had an orgasm.

Yeah, my first orgasm
that I've ever had with anyone else.

And I have been so screwed up
in my head wondering,

"Oh, did I have it
even though he was crying,

or did I have it...
because he was crying?"

- Which one was it?
- I don't know!

All I know is that I am sick
and tired of everyone telling me

what I'm supposed to do
and who I'm supposed to be

because I know exactly who I am.

I'm a New Yorker
and I don't give an "s" about "s"!

Oh my...

Can you make him leave?

It's my cubicle.

I'm only here
to make sure no one is dead

or needs to be rushed to a hospital.

You look A-okay to me,
random Lindso.

But you should be monitored every hour

for the next 12 hours for a concussion.

Do you have family
you can call to come get you?

- They live in Vermont.
- A friend?

- Can you tell me what day it is?
- Oh, my God.

- Can you?
- Still Friday.

Just like it was when you
asked me five minutes ago.

Current president?

Still Clinton.

And... how do you feel about me?

Still unfavorably.

Yeah, you seem fine.

- Okay... Thank you so much.
- This is good. I'm good. Goodbye.

This is your building?

It is not.

You don't want me to know
which building's yours?

That's correct, yes.

All right, well,
why don't I get your number

and that way
I can give you a call in an hour

and make sure you're okay.

You don't have to do that.

- I have a roommate.
- Well, I'd like to call anyway.

I feel bad.

For being an as*h*le?

For... being not
entirely forthright about certain things

which I should have been...
forthright about.

So, for being an as*h*le?

Sure.

Hello?

Still conscious?

Apparently.

- That's good...
- I'll talk to you in an hour.

You know, you don't have to do this
to try to prove you're a good guy.

I think you already know I'm a good guy.

Since you refuse to stop calling me,

- can I ask you something?
- Okay.

Why do your friends call you Jimmy?

Um...

my last name is Jimenez,

but the guys at work all think
it's pronounced Gym-en-ez,

and it all just started from there.

And that doesn't bother you?

No. It's just a nickname.

Okay.

- Okay? I'll, um...
- I'll talk to you in an hour.

Hey, uh, I never really found out
what kind of novels you write.

Well,

technically, I... haven't
written a novel yet,

but I have a lot of ideas for one.

So,

not a big deal,

but when you accused me
of lying about my job,

being a novelist versus
being someone with ideas for a novel,

- that's a pretty...
- A pretty arbitrary distinction

when you think about it, yes.

I used to work in video games.

- For a tiny independent studio.
- Why'd you stop?

I grew up.

- My whole life, I've always been...
- the sweet girl... the nice girl.

The person who yelled at me today
didn't seem particularly nice.

Thank you for saying that.

I'm savin' up to buy my own place.

Favorite song?

"Brown Eyed Girl."

Uh,

Okay, that was truly embarrassing.

I didn't really love high school,
to be honest.

Hey, you on the phone?

Yes, please hang up.

I'm goin' to bed.

Okay.

Thank you, good night.

Love you, Mig.

Was that your dad?

Did you always wanna be a writer?

I did for a while.

But... then I just kinda gave it up.

How come?

I think I always knew
I had something to say,

but I was

just afraid no one wanted to hear it.

That's sad.

Biggest fear?

I guess that I really

am the person that everyone thinks I am.

What about you?

Um...

the woods.

Spooky woods.

Yeah, I hate that.

And not succeeding.

Not succeeding and

people just thinking I'm nothing.

I know what you mean.

- Hello?
- Hi.

Hi.

Star 69.

Do you wanna maybe
meet up for breakfast?

We could pick a diner...
halfway between us.

I would love to.

You looove him.

Wait, what?

I put him at a solid 1.9

on my 10-point
potential serial k*ller index.

That's very rare.

You're gonna make
a very beautiful family together.

We're, we're just having breakfast.

- He's perfect for you.
- He's everything you've ever wanted.

You, you said Ned was perfect.

You, you said Ned
was everything I ever wanted.

Well, that's because we thought
Miguel was a scary, dangerous

banker sort of person.

But he's not... He's broken.

In the best possible way.

- He's someone you can take care of.
- Someone you can fix.

I came here to fix myself.

But you don't really wanna do that.

That's hard.

Don't... okay?

I know exactly what you're gonna say.

- I wasn't gonna say anything.
- Just enjoying the view.

I don't know who raised her,
but this is just plain rude.

- Poor Miguel.
- Always getting stepped on.

You don't need her.

- You don't need anyone. I'm here.
- Okay, that's f*ck' creepy.

Can I take your order now?

Um...

uh, no, let's just give it
a few more minutes.

You never should've said
"Brown Eyed Girl."

Well, this is fun.