02x04 - Pickle's Tears

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic theme music playing]

[Japanese rock music playing]

[woman singing in Japanese]

[music ends]

[dramatic music sting]

[Retsu] I did it. It worked!

That was amazing! Absolutely amazing!

[Payne] Hmm.

Yes, I have to admit,
I underestimated him.

Those martial arts of his
are really quite something.

I never thought he'd be able to
hang in there as long as he has.

[Strydum and Mitsunari] Huh?

What in the world are you talking about?
Were you watching the same fight we were?

Retsu did a whole lot more than just
"hang in there" with Pickle,

he defeated him!

- [Payne] Hmm. Hm!
- What?

Did he? I'm not so sure.

Huh? Are you crazy?

You saw that last crushing blow of his!

Good grief,
it sent Pickle back to the Stone Age!

He suffered a bad concussion
at the very least!

[Payne] Did he?

[gasps]

[Payne] No,
he didn't suffer any concussion.

[both] Huh?!

I'm not surprised that you're surprised.

You haven't been privy
to all the information.

After Pickle was discovered

at the nuclear waste isolation plant
in Colorado,

we ran a full battery of tests on him.

His bones, organs, and muscle tissue
held many surprises for us, of course,

but the biggest surprise of all
was his cervical spine.

It's extraordinarily thick,
strong, and resilient,

completely unlike the neck structure
of a typical biped, such as a human.

It's hard to believe,

but it's only by examining
the skeletal structure

of enormous four-legged beasts
with large, heavy heads

that you could find a cervical spine
even remotely similar.

Huh? Are you saying what I think you are?

Yes.

All of the anatomical evidence

points to one incredible
and yet inevitable conclusion.

It seems perfectly clear to me

that at some point earlier
in his primeval existence,

Pickle was a quadruped!

Ha!

[grunts loudly]

[whooshing]

[Payne] As remarkable as they may be,

these Chinese secret arts that have
been passed down since ancient times,

and they are indeed remarkable,

Those who use them have only ever targeted
others of their own kind,

other human beings.

Which are bipeds, not quadrupeds!

[snarling]

[breathing shakily]

Huh!

Can I bring the dawn of the 4,001st year?

- [dramatic music playing]
- [Pickle growling]

[Retsu] That stance.

Look at that stance.

I've never seen a forward-leaning
fight stance like that before.

It's like the starting position
of a sprinter

or the crouch of a sumo wrestler.

No...

No, it's lower to the ground than that.

The closest thing to it
hat I can think of is...

Yes.

- [lion roars]
- That's the attack stance of a beast.

Just when it's about to charge,

and every movement
other than forward propulsion

has been abandoned.

At this point, there's no jumping back
or dodging to the side.

It has only one idea. To move forward.

Then I'll answer in kind!

I will not run.

I will not dodge.

I will not retreat!

I will only attack

with this weapon that symbolizes kung fu,

the Crushing Fist!

I will attack him head-on,

and punch a hole right through him!

[narrator] And at that moment,
the beast erupted.

It was as if
his whole body turned to flame.

[Pickle roars]

[narrator] It was just like
when he vanquished the T. rex,

or smashed the mighty triceratops,

or chased away the towering brachiosaurus...

This attack he used only
against his strongest enemies,

the greatest of his day,

he now unleashed upon
that extraordinary kung fu fighter,

Sea King Retsu!

[Pickle roaring]

[groans loudly, whimpers]

[narrator] In a contest between
an immoveable modern-day shield

and an irresistible ancient spear,

on this day at least,
the spear was the winner.

[groans] He's just too powerful.

He never even got a chance
to use his big move on him.

Huh?

[Pickle whimpering]

He's... crying again!

[groans]

[growling softly]

[gasping]

He's not?

Don't look so surprised, Tokugawa.
It's the most natural thing in the world.

What does any animal do
when it's worked up an appetite?

It sits down to a good meal.

Huh? Professor.

We're not...
we're not really going to let him...

Hmm...

[gasps]

[Payne] Tokugawa,
we made a bargain with Pickle.

Would you have us break
our side of the bargain?

[Mitsunari] Argh!

You're not saying
you'd let Pickle eat him?!

Don't drag me into it.

I'm not the one
who thought it was a good idea

sending Retsu in there with him.

Oh, it's my fault?!
Don't you try blaming me for this!

Wait, wait, wait! Pickle, wait!
That wasn't part of the bargain!

[Mitsunari panting]

Pickle! Stop!

Don't do it.

That man is a fierce and noble warrior!

A proud fighter who thought
of nothing else, day or night,

but of meeting you in combat!

He deserves to be your comrade,
not your dinner!

Damn it, man, where's your humanity?

[thwack]

[whimpering]

[yelling]

[yelling continues]

[narrator] Eating can be
a way of saying farewell,

but it is a damnable fate.

His appetite was ferocious.

Still, the primitive man's heart
was filled with sorrow.

[Pickle] Huh?

[g*nsh*t]

[narrator] Food and life.

Life and death.

The two cannot be separated.

The two cannot be separated.

[groans angrily]

I'm ashamed of myself!

I broke my pledge to Pickle!

I as good as lied to him.

"If I lost, I would be eaten."

Isn't that the pledge I made?

Then why am I still here?

All I sacrificed was a piece
of my shoulder and a part of my leg.

That's not enough.

Was I ever really serious
about fulfilling my pledge

and letting him eat me?

Perhaps not.

Perhaps deep in my heart,
I feared being eaten.

I wanted to survive.

That's it, isn't it?

Oh, the dishonor of it!

[knocking on door]

[Baki] So it is true.

[Retsu gasps]

You were bitten.

Or rather, you were eaten.

When they told me what that caveman did,

I didn't believe 'em.

So, how you holding up?

You okay?

[Retsu] Hm! Never better.

[Baki] Really?

Well, am I less than ecstatic about it?

Yes, I am.

Am I a little upset?

I'd be lying to say I'm not.

[Baki] Okay.

I'm a fighter who lost a fight.

And part of my body as well.

But there is no dishonor in that.

Definitely not.

[Retsu] No, my shame lies elsewhere.

I boasted of a courage I didn't have.

I claimed that I was ready
to face the consequences,

when I wasn't.

That's not what Tokugawa said.

He told me all about it.

From everything I heard,
you have nothing to be ashamed of.

[Retsu] Don't I?

Neither you nor he
can know for sure, can you?

At the end of the day,

the only person who really knows
the answer to that is me.

[gasps]

[Retsu] "To give one's all."

To be "prepared to die"

or "ready to k*ll."

People say the words,

but do they ever really mean them?

They're just empty words

without the willpower to back them up.

I'd been forewarned.

I accepted the consequences.

And yet, I broke my pledge.

Tokugawa.

What if you were to feed me to Pickle?

I offered myself before

I knew what the words meant.

That is my dishonor.

You made yourself a perfect fighter.

Turned your body into a living weapon.

That's been taken from you.

And that's gotta hurt.

But it's not your missing leg
that's causing you pain.

You're hurting inside.

But I'm telling you,
you should take pride in that pain.

Sea King Retsu is
a legendary martial artist.

You're a living national treasure
of the People's Republic of China.

Hmph.

You know your name has
a really cool meaning.

I looked it up a while ago.

Retsu.

It means fierce,

intense, never straying from the path,

always laser focused.

That's exactly who you are.

Your fighting skills are
so insanely impressive

that that's all people ever think about.

But your real worth lies
in the strength of your incredible spirit.

Thank you, Baki.

[footsteps]

Means a lot.

[Baki] I remember sometimes hearing my dad

talkin' about a fight
and saying that he was gonna

“eat the guy alive.”

But it was just a metaphor.

It meant he was gonna beat him.
He was gonna win.

But with this guy,
it's not just a figure of speech...

He really does eat 'em alive.

Heh. I'm tellin' ya,

this caveman is really something else.

KASHIMA DAIMYOJIN
KATORI DAIMYOJIN

[drum beat]

[drum beat]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[Katsumi] This must be
the famous needle-cut move.

[grunts]

[impressed murmurings]

[Katsumi] Whoa.

Cleaner than a Japanese blade
could've done it.

- [man] Sir!
- Huh?

Excuse me. Call for you.

Right.

Noble Elder, please calm down.
I'm having a hard time following you.

It sounded like you said
that Sea King Retsu has been eaten.

Pickle?

You're saying Retsu got beaten by Pickle?

[Mistunari] I didn't say that!
It's not that simple!

- It isn't?
- It's not that he was beaten really.

- But he was... he was...
- So, you are saying he was eaten?

- But he didn't lose. Really?
- [Mitsunari] Yes, exactly!

DOPPO

[Doppo] So, the two of them fought,
and then...

Oh, I see.

His shoulder and his leg, huh?

Got it. All right.

Hmm.

Sir?

- [Doppo] We need to talk.
- 'Course.

You're joking, sir.

How could Sea King Retsu
have been defeated?

This isn't about whether he won or lost.

That's not what's important.

It's about what came after,

when that great fighter
was reduced to food and eaten.

[shocked breathing]

That disrespectful little...

[Doppo] Who do you mean?

Who d'you think I mean?!
The damn Jurassic monkey, of course!

Katsumi, you just don't get it, do you?

You think he's underestimating us?

You couldn't be more wrong.
Trust me on this.

[dramatic music sting]

No. We don't matter enough to him.

He doesn't even deem us worthy
of being underestimated.

Isn't that exactly
what underestimating is?

- [Doppo] Katsumi!
- [gasps]

Before someone can underestimate you,

they have to at least recognize
that you even exist.

We're just a meal to Pickle.

Do you and I "underestimate"
the meat and fish we eat for dinner?

[Katsumi sighs]

Sir, I think maybe
you're the one who doesn't get it.

The way you think about it,

not underestimating us
is the same as underestimating us!

Huh?

Well, Katsumi.

You may have a point.

SHINSHINKAI HEADQUARTERS A WAY OF KARATE

[narrator] Sea King Retsu had been eaten.

The startling news spread like wildfire
through the Atsugi Base reunion members.

[dramatic music sting]

That should've been enough anesthetic

to knock out a bull elephant
for a full day!

That was just a couple of hours ago!

It certainly isn't the sort of thing
you see every day, that's for sure.

In fact, there was only one other time
that someone broke through that door.

And you know who that was.

Yujiro Hanma.

[narrator] Takeshi Kenmochi, age 21.

He was a big, strong-looking young man.

And indeed, he was strong.

Very strong.

Karate.

Boxing.

Weightlifting.

In all the many dojos
and gyms he frequented,

there was no one who could match him.

So what was this Kenmochi doing here,
amid all this nightlife?

He was looking for someone to fight.

He wouldn't k*ll them,

but he wouldn't
leave them uninjured either.

He was on the prowl,
searching for the perfect someone.

[grunts]

[sniffs, grunts]

[sighs]

[chuckles, sniffs]

[grunts softly]

- [thud]
- [gasps]

[pained grunting]

[yelling, struggling]

[strained grunting]

[yelling]

[choked grunting]

[strained grunting]

[funky music playing]

[growling softly]

[both gasp]

[shocked murmuring]

[narrator] Color. Color. Light.

Color. Fire?

Stars? Heat?

Crowds. Crowds.

Food.

Straight lines.

Vertical.

Straight lines.

Horizontal.

Sky.

Ground.

Flat ground.

Straight lines.

He was confused.

Nothing here was familiar to him.

He had never felt more lost.

In his own era,

he ate only those things
that attacked him.

Fight.

Win.

Eat.

He had been proud then.

What is he now?

Now he wears these clothes as a disguise.

He must wear them
in order to survive here.

He understands that much.

He's six and a half feet tall

and weighs more than 285 pounds.

He is huge.

The crowd not only won't attack him,

they won't even look him in the eye.

He has become hungry.

He hasn't eaten anything
since his earlier fight,

and then he ate only part of his attacker,

just a few pounds.

He admired that one.

He used every bit of his small body,
his tiny weapons,

he puny strength.

And although he had been afraid,
he had faced Pickle without running.

- [car horn honking]
- [brakes screeching]

[metal crunching]

[growls]

- [man 1] Oh my God!
- [man 2] That truck nailed him!

[man 3] Whoa!
Look what he did to the truck!

[shocked murmuring]

Hey, mister, are you all right?!

Can you move? Huh?!

[snarling]

- [man 4] He's standing up!
- [man 5] How can he even move?!

He's huge!

[suspenseful music playing]

[growls softly]

- [Pickle growling]
- [man whimpering]

[snarling]

[woman screams]

- [growling]
- [people whimpering, screaming]

[whimpering]

[shocked murmuring]

[growling]

Impossible!

[growling]

[growls]

- [metal crunching]
- [glass shattering]

[growling]

[grunts]

[music fades out]

[sniffs]

[sniffing]

[appreciative growl]

MEAT

[hungry growling]

[dramatic music playing]

[grizzling]

[shocked murmuring, whimpering]

[music fades out]

[dramatic theme music playing]

[music ends]