03x02 - Chapter Twenty-Two

[bunniefuu]

And now Cuchillos wants you
to find Lil' Ricky.

Anything I'm missing?

You doing a Google search?

Amateur hour!

Google? This is NCIC.

- The crime database!
- I know.

NCIC scans arrests,
residences, aliases on anyone.

Ruby, I'm gonna use
your dad as an example.

Nice dial-up.

I'm encrypting via VPN to hide our search.

- Virtual Private Network?
- Network. I know.

- The results came back that fast?
- Nah, girl, that's my Pop-Tart.

Okay, NCIC is clean.

Although your daddy's credit's
a little dirty.

NCIC checks credit data too.

My God.

It ain't no thing.
Ruby, we're all a little behind.

You know? Sometimes you gotta borrow
from Pedro to pay Pablo.

Boom, b*tches! We got hits!

sh*t.

This is amazing!

You must be the sh*t at the station
to have this kind of access.

Or I stole Hammel's password.

Small detail we forgot.

Hammel's a dirty cop.

How dirty?

Like, fixing parking tickets dirty?
Or planting a g*n dirty?

Or I shot you 'cause you're brown dirty?

He's working for Cuchillos.

Are you kidding me?

This is next-level.
Why did you bury the lede?

You lead with the lede!
That is why it is called the lede!

I knew Hammel had some stank on him.

But if Cuchillos has cops on the payroll,

they would've already tracked these leads
and come up empty.

People!
You can't be soft if you wanna be a d*ck!

Now harden up!

And get out!

We'll reconvene at school
at something hundred hours!

Just...

Yes?

Can I shower here?

Here? Why here?

I just don't wanna be home alone
right now.

Can I?

Only if I can dress you.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

There's a dude posted up outside.

Hey, get back inside!

Oscar?

Who is that?

Our father.

- Where have you been all night?
- Why are you still in here?

I have to get ready for work.

I have to get ready for school.

Hey.

We gotta talk about who's in charge.

Of what?

The investigation.

When there's a w*r,
there aren't two generals!

Why are you assuming Jasmine's in charge?

Why don't you ask her
why she assumes that she is?

- No one's assuming anyone's in charge.
- Well, they should!

They should assume that I'm in charge!

Why? Because I found
the RollerWorld money alone!

Jamal, what do you want from me?

I want you to say it.

Say what?

- My name!
- Jamal?

No. "Boss"!

"Leader"!

Jefe! Say I'm your daddy!

You are not my daddy.

It's Jamal.

I gotta go.

I'll see you at school.

Like I don't know NCIC!

And VPNs! I'm the VP of VPNs!

Wait. That would make her the president.

Damn it!

So when did you get out?

Yesterday.

How was the trip down?

Long.

Looks the same.

Even smells the same.

- You in school?
- Of course he is.

How about you?

Going to college?

Seriously?

It's nice to see you.

Do you have any plans?

No.

Just wanted to see you guys
before heading up to Bakersfield.

Got a job lined up.

Cesar, you need to get to school.

I'll see you later.

Hey, do you maybe...
I don't know, wanna hang?

- After school?
- Sure.

Cool.

So where are you staying?

Here.

I'm not comfortable!

You are feeling uncomfortable because
you are covering up all your goodies!

Remember,
clothes don't wear you, you wear them.

No! I have camel toe!

Mija, it's an accessory!

Camel toe is the new cleavage.

Yo, girl, where are your earrings?

They were hurting my ears.
I took 'em off!

No! They complete the whole look!

It's my sexy robocaller.
We talk every Tuesday.

- I have to go.
- Your what? Your what?

- Jasmine!
- Hey.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay?

Besides your outfit?

So, are you staying with Jasmine now?

Maybe, maybe not.

- You don't know?
- When you were on the street,

you didn't tell me
where you were sleeping,

so why should I tell you?

That's fair.

Look, can you just be
my friend for a minute?

Damn. Okay, 59, 58--

Something happened this morning--

Yeah, it did!
And it took a blow to your senses!

'Cause you haven't seen the skin
Monse's living in. Not like this!

And now you have all these regrets,
because these guys are checking her out!

Because this is Monse 2.0,
and you're still Cesar 1.0.

- Jasmine, we're in the middle--
- An investigation?

I'm gonna need you both to be impartial.
I'm impartial, but totally on Team Monse.

Vaj before badge.

Yeah?

Just looking.

You painted her?

Yup.

Are those the same rims?

You still got the same full-barrel 425!

You remember when you were little?

I used to let you sit on my lap,
and you would steer.

You were really good too!

Let's get something straight.

You can come back here
and pretend to be a father.

But I know what's up.

Cesar?

He's been through a lot of sh*t lately.

So I'll let him live under this delusion.

For now.

Does Cesar hate me?

He's never even talked about you.

Butt padding? Girl, for real?

- I mean, or just a butt. You need one.
- What we need is a new game plan.

- ASAP.
- And I have some thoughts.

- Me too.
- Great.

I'll go first since I'm the leader.

There you go, Jasmine.

- Okay, why are you wearing that?
- Why are you wearing that?

- Dude! Time's ticking!
- The Prophet is still spying on me.

She even smiled at me to throw me off.

But I'm not falling for it.

sh*t, there she is again.

Wait, don't look!
Everybody snuggle in for a selfie.

You can't see me!

That's 'cause it's not a real selfie!

See? This is why you can't be the leader.

- The one in the green.
- Yes.

No!

- What are you doing?
- I'm throwing off the spy!

Jamal, do you think maybe
you are racially profiling?

Maybe she's crushing on you.

Wow. You would say anything
to keep me from leading this group.

- I mean, it could be a possibility.
- Nah.

Why?

There's a better chance she's a spy.

I mean, spy, no spy,
can we please get back on track?

I don't know what's going on
with my family, but I need that money.

Who knows how long
this offer's gonna be on the table

if we don't give Cuchillos good info soon?

- I have an idea.
- You don't get to blurt out--

We track down Lil' Ricky
through his relatives.

- Like his cousin Chivo.
- Chivo.

- Chivo's DNA.
- Chivo's DNA.

- That was next on my list.
- Really, what was first?

Leaders don't share their playbooks!

But, since you asked...

Now, this isn't going to be easy,
because the last time we were at Chivo's,

Cesar booked his g*n and his car.
So we're going to have to be stealth.

I say we cut his electricity, his water,
and maybe even his cable.

Then, we put out whale vibes!

And by whale vibes, I mean legit...

...to lull him to sleep.
And then, we fire up the bacon!

I'm talking thick-cut, maple-glazed bacon!

And then we get him salivating.

And once that fool drools,
we swoop in on that spit!

Hey. What's going on?

Or we could bring Cesar over after school
to apologize for stealing his car.

I gotta take a rain check.

A rain check? You don't get to rain-check
if no one else is rain-checking.

My dad came home today.

I'm hanging with him.

Bye.

So much for your Trojan Horse!

I got plenty of ponies,

and one...
...camel toe, in my stable.

I'm gonna handle this.

Ha! You'll handle this? I'll handle this!

Call Abuelita mobile.

- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

You know what I'm doing here,
I know what you're doing here,

but how are you doing it?

We can't do what we need to do here
with that over there!

Not to mention...

we've got eyes.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

I'm running!

Okay! We've only got one shot at the DNA,
so we need consensus on a plan,

or we're gonna blow it!

So as the leader,
Ruby and I will handle this.

Lady and...

Monse. Stand down!

- Chivo hates you.
- Yeah. Which is why we brought a gift.

Or rather, three!

- Why three?
- They're apology baskets.

One for k*lling Julio,
one for kidnapping Juanita,

and one for desecrating
Lil' Ricky's grave.

Okay, let's say that actually works,
and you get inside. Then what?

We...

- We...
- We improvise!

That's a great idea!
Just kidding, I improvised that lie.

Like you have a better idea!

I thought we'd take
the honest approach and explain our sitch.

Like honesty ever works!

Which is why we came up with
something even better.

Hi, Chivo!
We're with the Freeridge High Band,

reaching out to Band Buddy Alumni
for donations!

Once we're inside his house,

he'll tickle my instrument and
release his spittle into my awaiting cup.

The lengths you'll go to win!

We are really crossing lines here, people!

I am not talking sex. I am talking sax!

How do you even know he was in band?

Because real leaders not only lead,
but they follow leads and find yearbooks.

Spoken like a true leader.

So now the person you voted
"most annoying" is your new leader?

Hyperbole? Hyperbole.

Jasmine is annoying when you look
through the prism of patriarchy.

I've got new glasses, and Jasmine's
a strong woman who gets sh*t done,

so, Jasmine, you're my leader.

Feminists.

Life's all about choices, right?

You don't like onions, either?

I'm being rude.

- Thank you.
- No, it's okay.

I can get you some more if you want, too!

- Is that okay?
- It's my only perk of working here.

- It's good that you got a job.
- Yeah. Dwayne's been really good to me.

Even took me in when times got,
you know... a little hard.

I heard about your mom.

I'm sorry.

I should've reached out to you.

Um...

It was a long time ago.

I was little.

I guess that's...

I guess that's the good news, right?

Well, I'm still sorry.

You should try the char burger.
It's really good. I'll go get you one.

No onions.

- Who do you think you are?
- I think I'm the leader!

You know what, Jasmine? You should be best
at getting DNA from somebody.

Is it done?

We haven't even started!

I can't deal with this bickering.

Can I ask you something?

Jasmine?

She can definitely beat up Jamal.

No. Not that.

Are Mom and Dad okay?

What do you mean?

Are they fighting over my medical bills?

- Mijo, it's not about you.
- I want to help.

Not everything can be fixed.

Some things you just can't control.

Like my bladder.
I really have to go.

Actually, I have to.

I totally forgot my dad added extra shifts
at Dwayne's Joint.

I hate this, but I gotta bounce.
My dad ordered me a Lyft.

- You're bouncing?
- Here's the DNA test.

Hold firm.

Don't side with them.

And don't forget the plan.

Hi.

Team Jamal forever!

Team Jamal forever!

Team Jamal is over.

We need to join forces.

That it?
I can get you some more if you want.

This might be hard to believe,
but I'm starting to get full.

Hey!

- Isn't today your day off?
- Yeah.

Just enjoying the best barbecue in town.

Dwayne! This is my father.

Ray, this is my boss, Dwayne.

Great to meet you.

Hey! I know you.

I was a senior when you were a freshman!

You won us a championship!

Nah, it wasn't just me.
I was part of a good team.

You were real good. You turn pro?

I wasn't that good.

Your son's a great kid.

Even babysits my boy on occasion.

How old's your baby?

Fifteen.

He's just very, um...

unique.

How's the pulled pork?

Loved it.

That smoked paprika gave it a kick.

- You could taste that?
- I'm all about the spicy.

Made jalapeno-crusted hot dogs
when I was in the pen.

Took a Slim Jim and then mashed up
a bag of wet Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

Then toasted the buns on the pipes
and boom!

Impressive.

- So you cook.
- Personally, yes.

Professionally, hoping to.
I'm headed up to Bakersfield.

Might have a job for me to cook up there.

How about here?

I'd like to, but there's no opportunities
for people like me here.

This guy up in Bakersfield,
he's all about second chances.

Two hours late!

Why are you looking at me? What about him?

He's eating on the job!

Cesar isn't working.

Now put on your uniform and get to work!

So, for the 18th and final time...

- let's vote.
- I really got to go.

What? You can't leave.

Nature's calling!
And I really have to answer!

- I'm going, to Applebee's.
- No!

Find a bush or a tree.

But you cannot leave.

We might need to bounce
at a moment's notice.

Okay, show of hands.

We have Jasmine's sax...

improv...

swabbing his toothbrush?

A loogie contest.

Is this even gonna work?

Maybe we need to rethink
this whole DNA plan.

Why aren't we just asking Chivo for info?

He's a direct link to Lil' Ricky.

Or maybe Monse was right.

Maybe we should
just take the honest approach.

So we can finally admit
that you need me.

- You know that was hyperbole, right?
- Yeah, well, I accept your apology

and appreciate that you acknowledge
my value and finally see me,

but it's a bad idea. We already know
where Chivo's allegiance lies.

So if we tell him the truth
and he's still talking to Lil' Ricky

and Lil' Ricky doesn't wanna be found,
then we're not gonna find him.

Back to the DNA.

I vote for Jasmine's sax.

Yeah, me too.

It's time to get saxy, b*tches!

Hey! Let's go.

I agree. Let's go.

- Hold on, is that Chivo's spit?
- How'd you get that?

I was a guerrilla in La Guerra Sucia.

I can get a lot out of a man.

- Did he tell you where Lil' Ricky is?
- Except that.

Chivo doesn't know where Lil' Ricky is
or if he's even still alive.

So he might still be out there!

Really?

Is a modern slim-cut
really too much to ask?

Or a youth medium?

Okay.

Hello?

Hello?

Who's this?

Who's this?

You have to tell me who you are
before I tell you who I am.

Jamal! Get to the grill!

I'm in my own grilling sitch
that I can't ditch. I just need five!

So, who's this?

Kendra.

I'm the one with eyes on you, Jamal.

This is definitely not Jamal.

Okay.

Well, if you see Jamal,
could you tell him I'm looking for him?

I'm not gonna see Jamal.

Okay.

But could you tell him I want him?

Still not seeing him,
but, exactly how do you want him?

I'm plotting on him.

Ha! So I was right!

I mean...
This Jamal person was right.

- You're dangerous!
- Jamal!

Get to the grill! Now!

- I'm not Jamal!
- Okay, not Jamal!

You're fired.

Admit it! You want to do bad things to me.

I do. Your name's on my list,
and there's only one way to remove it.

Hello?

Hello?

- Yo, Ray. You want a job?
- You serious?

Yup.

- Yeah.
- Just got a job opening.

Did you just say I'm fired?

So you finally decided to listen!

I am sick and tired of your privilege.

Privilege?

My people have been kept down!

Kept down? You are spoiled!

I am not spoiled!

My bad. No, no, no. You are
more lazy and entitled than spoiled.

Not to mention a terrible employee!

A terrible employee? Me?

What about Tammy?

You know she be putting french fries
in her bra before she leaves!

Excuse me?

You know what I'm talking about.
Probably stealing chicken fingers.

I don't even wanna know
where you hide the dipping sauces!

That's right. You don't.

And Cesar had sex up in here!

- Was it in the food prep area?
- No, sir!

Then we're good!

No, we're not good! If you fire me,
how am I supposed to pay you back?

I don't know. That's on you.

- But no one's gonna hire a kid like me!
- Exactly!

The hardest part about a job
is getting it.

That's a lesson that you need to learn.

Good luck.

Welcome to Dwayne's.

Thank you.

You know what, Dad?

You! You're--

mean!

And-- And-- And--
And this barbecue is overrated!

Yeah, that's right. I said it.

And you can't fire me because I quit!

Cesar, we're quitting!

- No.
- Whatever.

Goodbye, Dwayne's Joint!

I hope I never see you again!

- See you at home?
- See you at home!

- Love you.
- Love you.

- Everything okay, mijo?
- I was just gonna ask you the same thing.

It'll be okay.

Dad.

It will be.

Um... you sure it's cool
that I'm staying over?

Girl, how many times
have I got to say it's fine?

Okay.You have a sleeping bag?

Get in bed.

All right.

- What are you doing?
- Don't flatter yourself.

Thanks for having my back.

I know you're mad at the guys,
but it was fun to feel like friends!

- We are friends.
- Okay, good.

- So I can be honest with you.
- Okay.

You're fun when you're not
all up in your head and sh*t.

- I am?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I guess I really need to stop caring
about things that I shouldn't care about.

You shouldn't care.

Yeah, but I do care.

I care too much.

Like, I'm totally spiraling right now

about the fact
that I haven't reached out to Cesar

knowing his dad is back,
and, I don't know,

maybe he really needs me
and I'm just being petty and...

What?

You are not as tough as you seem.

I'm not? And you're not as annoying.

I know.

Listen, it is totes okay to care.

And to care too much.

Just don't give yourself away
in the process.

Too late.

I, um...

I wrote my mom a letter.

After all that sh*t?

And?

And she never wrote me back.

I don't know.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know her.

Then I wouldn't miss her so much.

And I miss her.

I really miss her.

I wish she was dead.

Hey.

Hey, don't wish that.

Okay, don't ever, ever wish that.

I know what that is and...

Just don't wish that, okay?

I know what you've been through is rough.

Yeah. So...

So, how about I just wish
I never knew her?

But why?

You miss her because you love her.

And somewhere along the way,
you felt that she loves you too, right?

So why give away knowing that feeling?

It may have been fleeting,
but it was real.

It happened.

Screw her.

Okay?

You got me.

And I got you. Okay?

But what I don't got is your hairy a*s
up against my back.

I need some space.

I'm gonna go check on my dad.

Okay.

You got him a job?

Big mistake.