05x06 - Fried, Cried and Tried

[bunniefuu]

Previously on 1000-lb Sisters.

I cannot believe
he's asking for 50/50 custody.

Michael got on
that stand and said

that he was an equal parent.

Trying to get


I can see this being
a long flight,

and this is just the beginning.

I wonder what else he's had.

How are you feeling
going back to the house

since all this mess happened?

What is it?

Snack cakes, cookies.

Hey, I brought it in this place,

- I'll get rid of it.
- Exactly.

I'm hesitating throwing away
any of these snacks

because food has always been
a comfort for me.

But I can't afford
to go backwards.

There's more to life than food.

I have my wife who loves me.

And she's proven it
time and time again.

So now it's time to show her
the same respect.

Trash it.

Go through one by one.

Oh.

Oh...

I wish I had some holy water.

Out, demon.

Oh, man--

Food addiction is the demon!

Die!

- Come on, keep going.
- See.

Uh-oh. Okay.

Okay, okay.

Release the demons!

Be gone!

Okay.

Bye, Satan.

See you never.

Oh.

It's been six weeks
since I left Michael.

And after my first court date,

I don't feel great.

It made me think about,

you know, the look
on Michael's face

when I was coming
down the aisle.

All my hopes and dreams
came flooding back to me.

And I got Silly String.

I don't know what the bleep
Silly String's gonna do, but I got it.

So this is like
a letting good thing?

Kind of like the paint resembles

the nail on the coffin.

What do you think
Michael will say

about you destroying the dress?

Who the bleep cares?

Amy's been very
up and down lately,

since her and Michael split up.

And part of it is that she's not

taking care of herself
the way that she needs to.

So if destroying this
wedding dress helps her

move on and get
the closure she needs,

then I'm down for it.

Come on if y'all coming, hell.

Well, we got a big target now.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

- Are you all right?
- Yeah.

Them extra glasses didn't
help you none, did they?

Anything you wanna say?

Bye, b*tch.

Pow-pow, b*tches.

Let me get some green on there.

I don't like the green.

Ka-chao, ka-chao.

Oh!

Oh, I thought that was paint.

Ow!

bleep Halterman, man.

You know y'all have never
said his name right.

- That really--
- I don't give a bleep.

I'm divorcing him now,
I don't give a bleep.

Says whose names right?

It's Halterman.

I know!

- She says "Hoc-term an."
- Hoc-term an.

Well...

It's Halterman.

That's not how you be saying it.

You be going, "Hoc-term an."

Like you smoke--

Like a coughing up a lougee.

I think mine's about out.

You ready for buyin'.

Well, how'd that make you feel?

I mean...

It didn't help you
feel better saying...

Letting it go?

I thought it would, but...

This divorce
has really affected me.

But once the divorce is final,

I probably will be ready
to celebrate then.

But not with the dress.

Maybe with a hot man.

Yeah, it does.

Ah--

Meow!

One drink for the lady.

We, uh...

I know it's got, like,
that blind date feel.

Yes.

I can't breathe.

Oh, I took your breath away.

Baby...

I did not know what you wanted,

so I kind of got
a little bit of everything.

Mozzarella sticks.

Mushrooms.

And wings.

Everything he got

was fried.

So...

I'm a little...

perturbed with Caleb right now.

Like, we literally
just had a talk

about the junk and...

No matter how much it is,

just one of those
is bad for you.

I need you to want this

as much as I want this for you.

Yes, I want this.

Yes.

In ways I didn't even think of.

It should've been obvious.

But...

After this dinner,

I feel torn apart.

I let her down.

I made a bad decision.

There was no moderation
in this meal.

I need to fix things,
not make them worse.

We've never done Zumba
before, but...

I was definitely
surprised with Tammy.

She's standing there and she's
out of her chair, moving.

Anyways, b*tches, where the hell

y'all wanna go on this vacation?

Pensacola's not far away.

Would you guys
all be down to fly?

I feel like Tammy
just got here and...

now she's already leaving.

I feel like, if she walks
out of that door,

it's gonna be the last time
I see my baby.

That's scary.

It's damn scary.

I just got you back and...

But at the same time,

I'm also disappointed because...

...would help him focus.

You know, get back on track.

But I can't do the work for him.

So I know exactly how
Amanda, Chris, Misty...

Everybody in my family felt...

I am, too. I just...

You just gotta work
on yourself a little more.

- What?
- Nothing.

Give me a hug.

This visit definitely hasn't
gone the way I envisioned.

I let her down.

I could do better.

I should be doing better.

And I will do better.

That's not a choice
from here on out.

- Bye. Love you.
- I love you.

My wife, my life,

my future,

my happiness, my being

depends on it

What are we doing?

We're gonna go play.
You wanna go play?

Today, we are at
an indoor playground,

and we are here
to tire the babies out.

Because Tammy
is so tired right now.

She just got back from Windsor.

That was, like, what,
an eight-hour trip?

And I'm just tired
because I got two boys

keeping me up all damn night.

What's going on?

Come down the slide.

Come here, Gage.

Be careful.

You're doing it.

Uh-oh.

Oh, snap. You good?

That poor turtle.

Right.

I know, right?

That looked like
it hurt your butt.

Maybe a hair.

How was Windsor?

Well, I went up there
with the intentions,

you know, of having a good time

and spending time with my
husband and everything.

But then when I got in the room

and I seen that he had
a giant basket of...

junk.

Seriously, there was cookies
and candy and snack cakes

in his basket, like...

Just out in the open.

b*tch, like...

And don't remind me of all
the cheat days you had, Tammy.

Your cheat days turned into
cheat years, b*tch.

Caleb keeps telling me...

that he wants to have surgery

and lose weight and everything.

And there's no proof
in his pudding.

I mean, his wife left
and he's eating his feelings.

- And he's not caring and he don't give a bleep.
- Yeah, I did--

- I did it, too.
- Yeah.

But I still lost weight.

Yeah, but...

it was years in the making.

So we had to fight
with you for years,

the same bleep
you're doing with Caleb.

No, now I understand

how Chris and you and Amanda
and Misty felt...

about me not listening,

and losing the weight
and all that.

I really wanted to.

I just...

Tammy's out here living her life

and doing everything she
never thought she could do.

We all do.

All attention on me!

So, I came up with an idea
to have a relay race,

riding a stick pony.

Ready,

set, go, jackass.

We're fat people, why
are you gonna ride a stick?

Brittany, why are you
standing there?

Oh, Lord,
y'all been busy, haven't you?

Hey, what's up?

- Hey!
- Look at you.

Oh, man, I'm proud of you
in that dress.

- Sporting it like that.
- Thank you.

Did y'all bring this wind?

Did you know we're
the Tasmanian devils,

we're gonna blow everything up.

With everything going on
with Tammy and Amy,

we could all use a good excuse
to have a good time.

With the Kentucky Derby
coming up in a couple of weeks,

me and Brittany have decided

to host a derby-themed
get together.

Because what
self-respecting Kentuckian

doesn't like the Kentucky Derby?

Uh-oh, there comes
Tammy tall and Misty.

Lookit here, walking up.

b*tch, shut the hell up.

Well, who the hell did you
steal the picnic table from?

Shut up, we about to
have a buffet.

I don't care nothin'
about sports.

I'm not here for all the
bleep, "Who's gonna win?

Who's Seabiscuit
gonna flight next to?

LeBron James?" I don't know.

Okay, y'all.
It's time to make some derby hats.

We got this, um...

tool.

Okay, let me get
the red and white tool.

Feathers, ribbon.

Okay.

One of the traditions is
the women always wear

just an outlandish, wild hat.

So, you gonna get some...

DIY Sunday hats and stuff
for the derby days.

Well, we can see who
the arts and crafts crew is.

It ain't me.

So you're saying what?
All the women?

It ain't me either.

It ain't me.

Mine's done.

Mine's done, too.

Looking good to me.

Oh, Chris.

I love how proud you are.

Just loud and proud and
just out there in the world

wearing your
home-made derby hat.

You know, I've been acting
like a fool my whole life

to make my sisters laugh.

So why stop now?

All attention on me!

What in the world?

Oh, hell no.

Gage and Glenn
and Iris ain't here.

These ain't for them.

So I came up with an idea
to have a relay race,

riding a stick pony.

I figured we'd get everybody
up off their asses

and get moving.

But really, the whole point is

to look like idiots,
and have fun doing it.

That's all it is.

What, are we gonna
have a horse race?

Yeah.

Are we a team, b*tch?

I'm not getting on that thing.

That's a stick. What the bleep?

We're fat people, why
are you gonna ride a stick?

Come on now.

That's a damn toothpick.

Which team are you on?

Are you Brittany and Amanda
or Misty and Chris?

You know, Tammy's mobility
is 1,000% better than it was.

But she's not jumping around

holding a horse
between her legs.

I was kind of hoping
she'd get out there

in her wheelchair,
but, you know...

But Amy...

It's just Amy being lazy.

To be perfectly bleep honest.

Ready,

set, go, jackass.

Here are the rules.

You take the little stick pony

and you act like
you're riding it,

and you run down and back.

Tag your partner, and then
your partner runs down and back,

and whoever finishes
the relay race first

is the winner.

I don't even have
to run quick because...

- Oh, we ain't going back, they only run one time, b*tch.
- Could you at least try?

You gotta get down here
and tag your partner out.

Come back down here.

No, you got to finish
the race, stupid, go back.

Uh-uh, my race was finished.

The horses don't
turn around and go back.

Brittany, why are you
standing there.

Go back.
Come on, we'll go together.

Uh, they won,

but I think me and Amanda
was better.

You do got an A for effort.

Tammy and Amy wouldn't get
their a*s of the chair to do nothing.

So, bleep.

We really need to start
working out together.

It would be nice to
get together and work out.

We need to. We need to start
doing it at least once a week.

Maybe ride some bikes.

We need tandem bikes.

- Tandem?
- Yeah.

More than one person.

Oh, hell no.
'Cause somebody be doin'

- all the work.
- No, because I'm not hauling your a*s up.

I can barely hold
my a*s up on a bicycle.

I'll ride with Brittany.

A tandem bike? Brittany,
you about to bite the dust.

You know how clumsy
I am standing up.

Can you imagine
me doing doggy style,

and then falling on my a*s?

Dog-- downward facing
dog, sorry.

I would love to do Zumba.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Zumba would be fun.

Now, that is fun.

Whatever y'all wanna do,
but I'm game.

I'm ready to go on vacation.

The first vacation we all
attempted to go on was a bus.

So now that I'm more able,

I've been talking about
having another one.

So, are y'all ready
for this vacation?

Yes.

I'm definitely game to do it.

- Amy, what about you?
- I'm good.

Where you wanna go to?

You know what?
I ain't never been to the beach.

You wanna go to the beach?

Yeah.

- Beach?
- I don't care.

Well, I mean, there's all kinds
of beaches down in Florida.

- Gulf Shore, Daytona.
- Del Monte.

I think Pensacola has
wheelchair-accessible beaches.

So that's definitely gonna
be a need for Tammy.

She can walk quite a bit,

but walking in the sand
is really tough.

Tammy, you gotta let us bury you

up to your neck in the beach.

What bleep?

We'll pressure wash you.

Shut up.

Okay, so we're
all agreed on Pensacola.

But that's 10 hours away.

Before losing the weight,

I wasn't able to get on a plane.

sh**t, I could barely
fit in a car.

Now that I have an opportunity,

I wanna try to,

even though I'm terrified.

I'm not keen on flying, myself.

I really don't want to.

Yeah, but we're going to
gain a lot of time.

- I don't wanna drive either.
- Mmm-hmm.

Nope.

- I am.
- You don't wanna fly?

I'm not flying.

I am not flying.

I will drive down,
y'all can fly.

Who's gonna drive you?

I don't know.

I don't wanna drive 10 hours
unless my wife makes me.

I just completed a 16-hour
round-trip to Ohio.

I'm not about to...

To bite on to a 20-hour ride
to Florida and back.

So, she better find
somebody else.

I want her to fly.

Are you all gonna
let her drive down?

They ain't got a bleep choice.

It's either let me drive down
or I ain't going.

Simple facts.

One hour versus ten?

No, there ain't no
talking about it.

I'm not flying.

I already told you.

- Amy.
- All right, Amy. Okay, stop.

What the hell happened?

I was focusing on dancing,

and then I turn around

and I'd seen that Amy
was outside crying.

...Amy's not properly
taking care of herself.

Definitely not eating right.

I feel like she is having
a mental break down.

We're gonna walk in together.

Lord.

Today is day one of...

Now that we've all had
weight loss surgery,

we all have to stay on track.

My lovely wife

suggested Zumba.

So we are all here

and we're all working
on our beach bodies,

getting ready
to go to Pensacola.

We're gonna lift, tap,

and work back.

Classic Brazilian funk...

We've never done Zumba before.

We'll just have to wing it.

What's the worst
that could happen?

You're about to find out.

Yeah.

I ain't got no rhythm.

I got blues.

I actually enjoy Zumba.

It's fun, but...

you know, we're all trying to do

what the instructor's
telling us to do.

I wasn't really
paying attention.

We no more get over here...

And she was down
over here and back.

...and she was already
back over here, so then...

I'm like, "Damn my feet ain't
moving or something."

I don't move like that no more.

I was definitely
surprised with Tammy.

She's standing there and she's
out of her chair, moving.

She was just shaking
her groove thing.

Now, here we go.

I'm looking at the
bleep instructor, like...

"What the bleep?"

The whole point of doing a class

is for us to do it as a family.

But Amy is just
kind of over there

looking like stuck on stupid.

I was focusing on dancing,

and then I turn around

and I'd seen that
Amy was outside crying.

Hey.

I'm not sure exactly
what's going on with Amy.

But she's upset,

so we all just
wanna check on her

and make sure she's okay.

What's wrong?

I woke up with
a massive tummy ache,

and I can't...

I can't seem to shake it.

When's the last time
you used the bathroom?

- Two weeks ago.
- What?

That's what the problem is,
she's backed up.

I mean, that can really
make you sick, for real.

You definitely should--

Do you take your vitamins
the way you're supposed to?

No, she don't take her medicine.

She don't even wear
her thing at night.

First of all, that's why
you're so tired all the time.

With sleep apnea, if you do
not wear your machine at night,

you will be tired all the time

because you lose oxygen
while you sleep.

Your body can't rest.

Your body can't rest because
it's constantly fighting

to make sure you breathe.

You gotta take care
of yourself, Amy,

before you can take care
of them babies.

For her to go two weeks

without using the bathroom...

Two hours, and I'm dead.

I'm about to die.

If she takes
her vitamins properly,

she'll probably have
a decent bowel movement

on a regular.

Where you'll get bleep,
I get stopped up.

If you're not using
the bathroom on a regular,

that is extremely dangerous.

That means that all that stuff

is sitting in there,
and that's toxic.

We know Amy's full of bleep

from the top of her head
to the bottom of her feet.

For real now.

That's a grief.

Nobody's point--

There's no shots
being fired here.

Where are you going?

I don't feel good.

It's always bleep something.

How she gonna get home
when you're the one driving?

I don't know.

Look, I'm gonna
be serious with y'all.

I don't know what the bleep
her problem is,

but, like, her attitude

and everything is just stank.

It is just stank.

Amy's saying that
she wasn't feeling good,

and I get that.

But we're trying to help you,

and you want the help,
so you say.

But then you just get up
and stomp out of the room.

And, I mean...

She's got to get
a hold of herself.

To that point,

I'm tired of her
snapping off at me

and being hateful
and rude to me.

She's caught herself
doing that many a times.

And I have had it.

We are here to support you
any which way possible.

Take your medicine.

Who the bleep cares?

We're all ready
to go on vacation.

But that's gonna be
really hard to do

with Amy being Amy right now.

So today was supposed to
be our first big family workout.

And about 20 minutes in,
Amy runs out

saying she ain't feeling good.

Then come to find out,

she hasn't pooped in two weeks.

We're all worried about her
and trying to tell her

she needs to take
better care of herself.

And b*tch storms off and
goes and sits out in the van

like a little 2-year-old.

Amy's behavior has really been
kind of concerning.

You know, she gets mad
and then she cries

and then she storms off.

And that's just not the way
you deal with things in life.

I feel like she is...

having a mental breakdown.

Like I did.

And this is her...

breakdown.

Her way of having a breakdown.

You all right, Amy?

Amy, you're gonna have to
do something, sis.

'Cause the state of mind and the
way that you are right now is not...

We can't-- We--

We can't, you can't,
none of us can do this.

Did you sleep with
your CPAP machine last night?

Okay.

There's a reason why
the doctor gave you that.

It's because you
quit breathing in your sleep,

and your a*s could die.

Something happens to you,

and you quit taking care
of yourself,

and you're not gonna be here
to take care of them babies.

So we understand...

you in a rough place right now,

and we are here to support you
any which way possible.

- Sis, if you were trying...
- You are not taking--

- ...you would take care of yourself.
- Exactly.

You would take your medicine.

Take those meds

because those are what you
need to get through right now.

Wear your CPAP machine at night

so you can get
good rest of the night.

I don't sleep

because of the boys
most of the time.

- That is not true.
- No.

- That is true.
- Sis...

I be seeing you post stuff
all over social media

in the wee hours of the morning

when your a*s should be asleep.

- Yep.
- When Glenn is up.

He is not always up
when you are, sis.

- Don't do that.
- Yes, he is.

I know for a fact,
that ain't true.

- Tammy...
- Amy, I've been there.

- And what will you be--
- I'm not bleep doing this.

I'm done.
Leave me the bleep alone.

I don't feel good.

I'm not doing this.

Who the bleep cares?
Next question.

First of all,
stop talking to people

like you've lost ur bleep mind.

This is ridiculous
to how you being...

What the bleep?

Tammy did the same thing
on the family vacation

down in Gatlinburg,
as Amy just did up here.

Shutting doors in people's face.

You gotta shut up

- and leave me alone.
- No, you gotta stop being rude to people.

You're gonna stop bleep--

'Cause you have issues
doesn't give you the right

- to talk to people like you've lost your bleep mind.
- Just stop talking--

Bye.

Tammy has been doing better.

But Amy's regressing.

We'll talk to her later, maybe.

When everybody's calmed down.

It's not the time or the place.

I know exactly how Amy feels.

I've been there.

I gave up on myself,
I stopped caring about myself,

stopped caring about everything.

So I do know how hard it is
to pull yourself out of it.

Look at your feet.

Still to come
on 1000-lb Sisters.

We gonna find you something
real skimpy.

No the heck we ain't!

- Am I a different --
- Am I a different color yet?

She's so stupid.

Family vacation!

A little bit.

First flight,

and first time
going to the beach.

Hell to the yeah, baby!

I don't think we ever had
a nice vacation together.

Oh, my god.

And this could've been
like a honeymoon.

We gotta get you out of there
as soon as you can travel.

Come on, sit down.

So, we're going out to dinner,

and Gage and Glenn
are throwing a fit.

Everybody keeps telling me

but I just became
a single parent.

I'm trying the best I can.

She has to learn
how to be a mom on her own,

and juggle both of them.

Amy wants help,
but when somebody

tries to give her
constructive criticism,

Amy loses it.

Go to your room and cool down.

This is the worst I've ever seen
Amy lose her bleep