01x17 - Circumstances

[bunniefuu]

Did lips, painted with poison,
just come to my room?

It seems as if my mind and body
are melting with your kiss.

Hateful self, 19 years old
Hateful self, 19 years old

Your heart is so beautiful
it's almost nauseating.

Why would you kiss someone like me,
who can't do a thing?

Hmm?

Hateful days, 19 years old
Hateful face, 19 years old

L-L-L-Like a black swallowtail butterfly,

I want to fly on magnificent wings!

P-P-P-Please don't say it's ridiculous!

That kind of life is good...

It's good!
[L-L-L-Like a black
swallowtail butterfly...]

What you are going to do now?

Stop it.

Or perhaps, Nurie-san...

For you, I wonder if I
shouldn't have said this...

If it's something that can
be done, go ahead and try it.

What is this!?

"Fashion Glasses - Yuko"

Why do I have to go and buy
something like fashion glasses!?

And why did she leave a handwritten
letter in a coin locker!?

If she wanted fashion glasses,
she could've said something

yesterday at work, instead of
giving me a key and making me

come all the way out here,
nowhere near home or school!

What is she going to do
with these glasses anyway?

Is she going to wear them?

Or, am I? Hey, that'll make me
wearing two pairs of glasses!

Found some!

To find some that don't look
too cheap, if possible.

Though, I suppose there's
a limit for 100 yen.

The color should be...

Red.

Thank you for coming!

Now then, I've bought them...

But what now?

"Kushida Nurie"

I did it again.

Come in.

Umm... I'm Watanuki.

You called the ambulance
and rode with me...

Aah! Please, lay down.

There are only a few fine cracks
on my the bone in my arm...

That's because you were
hit by a motor-bike.

Had it been a truck or something,
it would have been really bad.

These are... Get well soon...

I see.

So that's the reason you went and took
yesterday off and were late today...

That must have been difficult.

There's something frightening about
being thanked by you, Yuko-san.

That happy face is even scarier.

So, what are you going to use those for?

Who knows?

--And? How'd it go?
--Huh?

You went to visit her
in the hospital, right?

Are you worried about
her too, Yuko-san?

You said it, after all. That you
saw something on her shoulder.

Well, it could have been just

a metal buckle on the strap
of her bag or something.

But that's not what
you're thinking, is it?

You smell like flowers.

That's... Uh...

She, Nurie-san, hit me with
the bouquet I took to her.

My, my. Did you say something
to rub her the wrong way?

"So it seems, in the history
of this hospital,

not one person has ever left it."

Maybe with some kind of joke like that?

I said no such questionable,
tasteless joke!

She really did just haul off
and hit me all of a sudden.

Why?

There really doesn't seem
to have been a reason for it.

Practically right after she did that,
she was earnestly apologetic.

Like, "I shouldn't have done that,"
and stuff...

After asking her about it, it seems
she's been that way for a long time.

She does stuff that one's
not supposed to do.

Like, you know, that button that you're
not supposed to push... She'll push it.

Always pulling the
emergency alarms, too.

Whenever she would take a test, too...

She got sick on purpose so that she

couldn't take the high
school entrance exams

when told she would
definitely pass them.

When taking the exam for her
first choice university,

it seems she didn't write her name.

In the end, she had to go
to her second choice school.

And this time?

It's the day before
an important presentation

at work upon which
a promotion depends.

She said that it's not that
she wants to fail, but...

As far as I can tell,
that's what it seems like...

Like she's screwing her
own life up on purpose.

Are there any spirits that would
make someone behave like that?

--There are.
--I knew it!

But, even though there are...

Yuko-san...

Tell me, Watanuki...

Uh, yes?

Could you understand the feelings
of one who cannot accept happiness?

Huh?

For example, I wonder if you would
be able to understand the feelings

of someone who wouldn't cash in a


No, I couldn't.

After all, isn't that what you'd
usually call justifiable compensation?

That's right. In other words,
by cashing it in,

you would be able to accept happiness.

Happiness?

That's why you don't
understand her feelings.

You mean Nurie-san?

Bring her to the shop.

Happiness?

I-I'm sorry, having to say
something like this...

Basically, I mean whether or not

you're able to accept happiness
in your regular life.

I think so, but...

This time it was just your arm,

but if things continue like before...

You're right.

This certainly isn't happiness.

Like you said, I might be one of those
people that cannot accept happiness.

I'm probably just weird.

N-Not at all!

I-It's probably not your fault!

Something bad could cause a person

to make incorrect decisions
at important times!

I've asked if there was
anything like that!

You mean, like, being possessed?

What? Is something here?

T-That's not it!

Umm... There's someone
I want to introduce you to!

If you can do it, then go ahead and try.

U-Umm...

What do you mean?

Throwing that coffee at me.

This is a shop for granting wishes.

That you were able
to come here means that

you must have some kind of wish.

So then, what could be your wish?

Any kind of wish?

Any kind.

I want to persevere.

Over what?

The desire to do things
that I'm not supposed to do.

So, if you were to buy a lottery
ticket that won 300,000,000 yen,

what would you do?

What would I do?

Would you cash it in?

I... I think I wouldn't.

Oh?

For some reason, I've been
like that for a long time.

Even when it's obvious or I've been
told that it was the right way,

against my better judgment,
I'll choose a different way.

And I'll fail, as expected.

Do you understand
something like that?

Has it happened to you?

I don't, and it hasn't.

After all, those are your feelings.

No matter the feeling,
they're feelings you feel.

That's why, if you are able to affirm it,
then it becomes correct advice.

Whether something is correct
or not is respective of the person.

Happiness is also
respective of the person.

Even so, you want to
persevere over those feelings?

A-Absolutely. Something
like this is weird, and...

And it puts a burden on everyone else.

This injury, too...

--I wonder about that.
--Huh?

You say it puts a burden
on everyone, but...

I wonder just how much a percentage
of that "everyone" is made up of you.

M-Me?

For example, that which is called
"happiness" is one's own business.

A promise to oneself. In other words,
that which should reward great effort.

While overcoming trials
and tribulations,

troubles piled upon troubles,

and still not awarding
yourself anything

is a breach of contract against oneself.

Compensation must always be paid.

Even towards oneself.

If you win the lottery,
you should cash it in.

That is what is called compensation.


something worth 10,000 yen.

Just as one should be paid 300,000,000
yen for something worth that much.

Discounts and haggling
destroy the balance.

Ah, that's...

These are...

Special glasses.

Huh!?

If you wear these regularly,
they will lead you to the correct path.

They will block any incorrect options.

I-Is that so?

I'll give them to you.

But I have no...

--That's fine.
--But...

But, payment...

You're free to decide what to do.

You may decide whether to
use them or throw them away.

What was that, really?

What?

Was there really something special
about those fashion glasses?

No. They were regular


You should know; you bought them.

Then why did you...

Moreover, you giving something
without taking any payment is...

--I took it.
--Huh!?

What do you mean?

It's a continuation of
the allegory from yesterday.

Tell me, Watanuki...

What would you do if,
one day on your way to school,

you heard someone call out,
"Let's give you one trillion yen?"

Well, obviously I wouldn't take it.

There's something too
suspicious about it.

What is?

It seems likely that it's some trick.

Basically, that's it.

I don't get it!

That's what it means not to
be able to accept happiness.

I didn't say that that person

had something up their
sleeve or anything.

But anyone would be
doubtful if someone

said something like
that out of the blue.

Why's that?

They're thinking about
what would happen

after getting the one trillion yen.

Right. If one receives happiness,

it requires equivalent
effort as compensation.

People often say life
comes out even, right?

For the good things, there are the bad

and for the bad, there are the good.

Yes.

But that's inaccurate.

And the truth is?

In order to be happy, one must be

burdened with proportionate
unhappiness in exchange.

The feeling is that,

for something good to happen,
one must put up with the rough times.

Saying there's good for the bad
does not have an optimistic meaning.

To say the reverse,

from a high position a still higher
job can be demanded, right?

Not responding to that
demand is in bad faith.

Further to the contrary,

if one's own place has been
decided in an unhappy situation,

one must impose upon themselves
a waiver of effort to some extent.

B-But Nurie-san is not like that.

She cannot accept regular happiness,
let alone great happiness.

That's not the case, Watanuki.

That, you see, is choosing balance.

Balance?

Wanting to do that which is forbidden

is certainly a very normal
feeling for people.

You shouldn't mix that up
with her situation.

Whether or not in excess, happiness
is by no means all good things.

Payment must be made for
the parts that are good.

And one cannot avoid that payment.

She is running away.

Rather than being unable
to accept happiness,

she's running away from
the promise and responsibility

of a time she accepted happiness.

It's just as she said.
It's not as if she wants to fail.

What you have there is reckoning.

But, if she's just running
away from responsibility,

crossing the street on a red light is...

How's that reckoning?

Ah, but she was hit
by just a motor-bike.

She only has a crack in her arm.

Uh, yeah...

She chose when to cross the street.

If it were otherwise,

she would've been more likely
to walk out in front of a truck.

In the end, she just wanted to
get out of doing the presentation.

She escaped the tension
and pressure of such.

The promotion as well.

But she hit me with...

There's no way a kind-hearted person

who called an ambulance
for a complete stranger

and visited them in the hospital
would get angry

over being hit by some flowers.

It's the same for pulling
the alarm at achool.

It may be a "button you're
not supposed to push,"

but it's not like it's
a nuclear launch switch.

One would only get scolded.

Same with taking a test.

Even though she messed up the
chance for her first-choice school,

she already had another
school lined up.

Had she thrown the coffee
you gave her at me,

already knowing the problems she has,

she'd figured I'd come
to that conclusion

and have no reason to get angry.

Or so.

How can that...

She's not the kind of person

that would push a "button you're
not supposed to push"

regardless of the consequences.

Will she be able to choose

the right path for herself
if she wears those glasses?

You're kidding me, right?

They're just regular
fashion glasses, after all.

But you said...

To those like you, always wearing
glasses is an ordinary thing,

but it's foreign to those who don't.

One cannot avoid being aware of it.

Well, I suppose you're right.

She's known from the start what's
the absolute best for herself.

She's able to avoid that "best."

That's why, alter the angle a little

and let the unconscious
become conscious,

and it will be fine.

Time will pass and,
if that becomes part of herself,

her wish will come true.

Then, what was her payment?

Her escape route.

From now on,

no matter the pressure she'll
face in order to accept happiness,

she won't be able to run away.

I wonder if she'll be
able to endure that

which she's not experienced
until now.

So, you're saying Nurie-san's problem
is her own and spirits have...

...nothing to do with it.

But the thing that glittered
on her shoulder...

Wasn't it just a buckle
on her shoulder bag?

"Non-burnable Trash"

If it can be done, then go on and do it.

Light pink corrupted
midsummer's eve dreams

Yearning for the mayfly that flies away

The dream bonfire burns out

The vestiges of life,
glistening in the waves

The face of someone you're
crazy about is swaying

As though walking on air,
as though in a blur,

dancing with you in a dream

Light pink corrupted
midsummer's eve dreams

Yearning for the mayfly that flies away

Thinking of you, dreaming a
dream in a dream in a dream

Overflowing delight,
everlastingly, everlastingly

Light pink corrupted...

Ghosts wait all night.

Marching in a great crowd.

This one night a year.

The large-petaled flowers begin
to open on the great tree.

Gathering this inexhaustible nectar.

This evening is for being
drunk, or being made drunk.

Next time, Holic, "Ground Cherry"

Shall I grant your wish?