02x04 - The Crystal Glasses

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown.

Xiaolin Showdown.

I am calm. My mind is clear.

I am not distracted by this

most irritating of noises!

Oh! Oh! I'd like to see

how long you'd last

with a Shen Gong Wu rash!

What are you talking

about, Dojo?

Ooh, there must be a big

pile of Shen Gong Wu

getting ready to reveal

themselves all at once.

So when is this

collection of cats

jumping out of the bag?

Dojo: I don't know!

But I hope it's soon.

My whole body is one big

itch of anticipation.

Uh, yeah, too much information.

Sorry. Looks like the first of

the Shen Gong Wu just popped.

Kimiko: It says the

Crystal Glasses

allow the wearer to

see into the future.

I already know my future.

I will be the most

wise and powerful

and swiftest of all

Xiaolin dragons!

You left out modest.

I do not think the

Fist of Tebigong

was meant for this purpose.

Ohhh, yeah!

Yeah, right there. Ohh, yeah.

Eww! Let's hope the rest

of those Shen Gong Wu

reveal themselves before

you run out of scales.

Raimundo: Ooh, is it

getting colder out here?

Dojo: It should be.

We're in Russia.

Dojo: Next time, I'm

hiding the Shen Gong Wu

in the tropics near

a 4-star hotel.

Well, this looks like the

rural equivalent of a mall.

Maybe they'll sell

us some salve.

Mm-mmm! Warm grub

smells delicious.

There is no time for snacking.

We're seeking a rash remedy.

Uh, yeah! For our pet gecko.

Ah, my friends, if it

is remedy you seek,

I have vendor for you--me!

What can we get for this?

Is old family recipe for itch.

- Here.

- Ugh!

Also will remove paint.

Yeah, fine, we'll take it!

Ha ha!

Well?

No, nothing! I don't feel a--

oohAhh. Yeah.

More! More! More!

Ooh! Sensing a Shen Gong Wu!

That-a-way!

Ah, you friend points

to old town temple.

2 kilometers north. You

cannot be missing it.

Clay: He wasn't kidding.

You'd have to be a blind crow

to miss the side of that barn.

The Crystal Glasses

are within our grasp.

Uh-oh! Either they've got

really big insects in Russia

or that buzzing

is the sound of--

Jack Spicer, master of evil.

At your service.

You cannot defeat

us, Jack Spicer.

Tell you what? How about

we make this interesting?

Just me versus all

of you, no weapons.

Hyah! Oh!

I think technically that

qualifies as a weapon.

Aah! Aah!

Yeah, and technically you

all qualify as suckers.

Ha ha ha! Don't mind if I do.

Unh! Unh! Aah!

Whoa!

Two ton tunic!

Raimundo: Didn't see that

one coming, did you?

Tangle Web Comb!

Going up!

Aah! Oof!

Jack is getting away!

Unh! Stop him!

Got it covered!

Sword of the Storm!

Whoa!

Fist of Tebigong!

Reversing Mirror!

Oof! Unh

Unh!

I have been tebigonged.

Ha ha ha! Huh?

Hey! Whoa! No! No!

Aah!

Aah! My cart!

Has been in family

for generations!

Then you come! Boom!

Unh. Hey, give me those glasses.

I--aah!

First you break family cart,

and then you go attack me?!

Oh, hi, guys.

Go ahead and show

them who's in charge!

Aaah!

Love to stay, gotta go!

I thank you for retrieving

our Shen Gong Wu

from the villainous Jack Spicer.

Is nothing.

Are you kidding? You were great!

Yeah, man, you got the moves.

Heck, we could always use

another partner on our team.

We could?

Ha ha ha!

Welcome, young Vlad.

Thank you, Master Fung.

Vlad is a most welcome

addition to our team.

But he is the last one, right?

Heh.

Yeah. I mean,

just how many dragons in

training can there be?

Yeah.

This is great!

Even though I'm not a dragon

apprentice like you guys,

I still outrank the new guy!

Da. I am, how you say,

lowest branch on tree, yeah?

That's right, Vlad! The

worst chores are yours.

Dusting, polishing,

and sweeping.

Oh, is my pleasure, Raimundo.

Thank you.

Maybe we should keep

him on permanently.

Have successfully

infiltrated Xiaolin temple

and now ready to take

evil plan to next phase.

Jack: Excellent! Oh, and, Vlad,

next time you fake a fight,

try not to be so convincing.

Whatever you say, Mr. Jack Spicer.

You are boss.

Because I suffered a

tebigonging to retrieve them.

Only 'cause you let Jack go reversing

mirror on your sorry butt.

Is I who got glasses

from bad man.

Sorry, Vlad. New guys last--huh?

Sorry, Rai. Dragon

apprentices first.

Huh? Huh?

Perhaps we should settle

this with a challenge.

All: Ohh!

A simple game of tag

should suffice.

Merely touch my tunic and

the glasses are yours.

Sounds good to me!

Hey!

By looking into the

future, I know your moves

before you do.

Ow!

Aw, forget it.

I knew you would say that.

The power of the Crystal Glasses

should not be taken lightly.

Only the wisest of dragons

should attempt to use them.

Why are you wearing sunglasses

on a non-sunny day?

They make me look cool.

Why do you want to look cold?

Never mind. You up

for a challenge?

Whatever it is, I accept!

And I will be victorious!

I want you to hit me

as hard as you can.

A most unusual challenge,

but if you insist.

Hyah! Yaah!

Aah! Unh!

What happened to the old

tiger instincts, Omi?

Oh, so predictable.

Hyaaah!

Left. Right. Sweep the feet.

Duck.

Vlad says hi.

Hello, friends.

Wait! This is not right! Yaah!

Looking for these?

Both: Raimundo, did you

not hear Master Fung?

This Shen Gong Wu is no toy.

Rrr!

Ha ha ha! Is funny.

Huh?

This is where you belong.

However

Vlad: Our friends are not

wise dragons like you, Omi.

Vlad, I was--i was just

locking up the vault and--

and did you say I was wise?

Your sight is not clouded

by silly distractions.

That is why you will be

great Dragon Warrior.

Hmm. I think you

are right, Vlad!

It is such shame we

cannot look into future

and see you in all

your big heroic glory.

Oh, but we can!

The crystal glass? But

Master Fung said--

only a wise dragon should

use this Shen Gong Wu.

So I'll just wisely

take one little peek.

Is our secret.

Crystal Glasses!

Oh, yes! My heroic destiny

is coming into focus!

What is this? The temple!

My friends!

What monster is responsible

for this terrible evil?

It isMe.

I am the great evil!

You don't strike me as one who

would go over to the dark side.

Yeah, and Rai here would know.

You sure you were looking through

the right side of the glasses?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and why were you even looking

in them to begin with, Omi?

My inner evil! It made me look!

It's taking over already!

It is decided.

In order to save the future,

i must give up my position

as a Xiaolin dragon in training.

Waaah!

Unh!

There's only one

path for you now.

You mean, the path of evil?

No. In my country, man of honor

takes a long walk,

alone, never to return.

Is honorable thing.

Uh, guys? Omi's gone.

Oh, he's probably

in the storeroom,

practicing his flying

leopard attack.

No. I mean, like,

he is gone gone.

He left a note and everything.

Did anyone know about this?

Mm-mm-mmm.

Hey, I know where we can look.

Looking into the future to

see where you will find Omi

sounds like the idea of

a wise dragon to me.

Crystal Glasses!

We will find him by a frozen

river near hock rock!

Oh, hey! Hey, Vlad! You got any

more of your babushka salve?

Vlad?

Oh, please, babushka, you gotta

be in here for old Dojo. Oh!

Oh, let's see. Socks, Chekov,

Jack Spicer's Reversing Mirror.

Why would Vlad have Jack

Spicer's Reversing Mirror

Unless

I gotta warn the others!

We gotta--

ehh!

It's happening! The treasure

trove of Shen Gong Wu

has revealed itself! Uhh!

Whoa! This is great!

Now the only thing I want

to hear is Vlad saying--

mission accomplished.

So, Omi is out of

the picture then.

Da! By the time the others figure out

what's going on, it will be too late.

And we'll already have all

the new Shen Gong Wu.

You should not have come for me.

Did you not read my letter?

Yeah, and we're not buying it.

But I saw it with my own eyes!

Dojo, what are you

doing in the wood box?

Bl-bl-bl! It was Vlad! That snake

is really working for Jack!

No way! What!?

Even worse, my rash is

starting to blister.

Can we keep this on a

need-to-know basis?

We'd better hurry, or we could lose

out on our Shen Gong Wu bonanza!

Hop on!

Ew! Ew! Ew!

Gahh!

Leave me be. I am evil.

I will corrupt your quest.

Less talk, more defrost.

The Shen Gong Wu are

mine, all mine!

Sorry to bust up your

little hoe-down,

but we'll take those

off your hands.

What?! How can this be?

I do not understand. How were you

so fast with the finding of him?

We used a shortcut.

Jack-bots, attack.

Uhh!

Yahh! Uhh!

What?! Yahh!

Hyah!

Uhh!

Two ton tunic!

Hey! Uhh!

Uhh!

Snap out of it, Omi.

We could use the help!

Soon you will be

my greatest ally.

I'll even write you your

own evil theme music.

bom bom bom bom bom

this is not right.

Uhh!

Whoa! Whoa! Slow down!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Sweet! We get the wu

and they're all wet.

Ooh, is this Shen Gong Wu!

Our crossing victory over weak-minded

little ones is complete.

Ok, hired muscle.

Not paid to gloat.

But was so easy to

trick weak-minded Omi

into believing he

would become evil.

He wears the crystals glass,

has no idea future he sees

is reverse mirror trick.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

What?!

This is why gloating should

be left to the mastermind.

Uhh! Tsunami strike Water!

Uhh!

Aah! Aah!

It is time for payback,

you lying trickster!

I challenge you to a

Xiaolin Showdown!

The contest is, be

the first to get out

before the cave

fills with Water.

I wager two ton tunic.

And I wager the Crystal Glasses.

Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown!

Both: Gong Yi Tampai!

Huh?

Uhh!

It is no contest,

beating one so puny.

Uhh!

Ehh!

Rrarr!

Uhh! Uhh, uhh!

Uhh! Yahh!

Uhh! Uhh, uhh!

Uhh! Yahh! Two ton tunic!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Uhh, uhh!

Yaah! Uhh, uhh!

Uhh, uhh! Uhh, uhh!

Uhh, uhh! Uhh, uhh, uhh!

Uhh!

Crystal Glasses!

Huh?!

Hah!

Is impossible. Is no way out.

Water!

Huh?!

Ha ha! You fool! You

had that victory!

Hyah!

I do not think so.

Water! Huh?

Aah!

Wahh!

Uhh!

Uhh! You are still

just little boy!

You'll never find way out!

Allow me to show you

the power of Water!

All right! Yeah!

All: Dojo!

Waah!

Uhh!

Now who's all wet?

Oof!

Ow!