02x03 - The Shard of Lightning

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown.

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Stand on your marks.

Set yourselves.

Commence swift chores.

Gong Yi Tampai!

Third arm sash!

Lotus Twister!

Jet bootsu!

Yeah! Yee-hah!

Shroud of Shadows!

All done.

Excuse me.

Just because I'm not a

Xiaolin apprentice,

doesn't mean I should have

to wash your dirty dishes.

Come on, Raimundo.

The sooner we finish our chores,

the more time we have to hang.

Yes. Although I might choose

a different activity.

It's an expression, Omi.

Uggh.

I was looking for that.

Mm, nothing like

pizza for breakfast.

Ohh! Smudge,

you are no match

for my three arms.

Bees, you are also duly warned.

Hurry up, Clay, I'm done.

Me, too. I'm doner than a rack

of ribs at a Texas barbecue.

Hah!

Now that we have mastered

the art of battle

and Raimundo's trapped

Wuya in a puzzle box,

perhaps chores are the only use

we'll have for the Shen Gong Wu.

It sure was a lot more fun when

we had someone to fight against.

Still waters may blanket the

greatest of unseen hazards.

There he goes again.

Can someone get me a translator?

Oh. That's where

those dishes went.

Overconfidence can be more dangerous

than a lack of confidence.

We kicked evil's butt.

Why can't we just kick

back for a while?

Stop everything!

Did you tell them about

the new Shen Gong Wu?

I was just about to.

The Shard of Lightning

is a most interesting

Shen Gong Wu.

It gives the user the power

to travel at the speed of light.

But only for short

flashes of time.

Let's go get that shard!

Oh, darn. Now I won't have

time to finish my dishes.

They will be here

when you get back.

My trusty detector bot will lead

me to another Shen Gong Wu.

Evil boy genius Jack is back!

Ha ha ha ha!

Can someone get me a lozenge?

Yaa-ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

You've got to find the

Shard of Lightning

before the others get here!

With it, evil can once

again rule the world.

Blah blah blah,

world domination.

Let's focus here.

What's in it for me?

The shard is there.

No. Over there.

No. There.

Can't you focus yourself?

Which is it?

You are not scared,

are you, Dojo?

Me? Heh heh. Scared of a

little electrical storm?

Heh heh. That's so--yaa!

You know, Lightning's always

drawn to the tallest object,

which in this case is me!

I am willing to bet my bottom

that is where our shard is.

Uh, that's your bottom dollar.

That makes no sense at all.

Let's check it out.

You guys, excuse me.

I can see the Lightning

fine from right here.

Well, well, look what the

katnappé dragged in.

MeOw.

Wuya!

You didn't think I'd stay in

that box forever, did you?

Well, another 1500 years

would've been nice.

The shard!

Stop them!

Kitties, attack!

Uhh! Aah!

That was most seriously painful.

Aah! No, no. Not the face!

Dang-blasted kittens.

I'm more of a dog person myself.

Yaa!

Back off, cat litter.

The shard is ours.

Hah. Someone smells

like wet fur.

Wuya, you teamed up with this

sorry excuse for a furball?

Yaah!

Looks like everybody was

invited to this rodeo.

Yeah, but I'm the one who's

going home with the prize.

There is no way for you to defeat

the mighty Xiaolin warriors.

Tornado strike Water!

Hyah!

Ha ha ha.

Hyah! Huhh! Hii! Yaa!

Out of my way, o great bald one.

Uhh!

Not so fast there, pardner.

Seismic kick Earth!

Whaa-ohh!

This is too easy.

Jack-bots, attack.

Whoa-aah!

Hey! Watch the claws!

You're messing up my hair.

Huh?

You snooze, you lose!

How did you get

up there so fast?

It's sure a long ways down.

Hope you don't fall.

Aah!

Whoa!

Later, Xiaolin losers.

The Shard of Lightning.

I couldn't have done

it without you.

I may have been the one who

stole the Shen Gong Wu,

but it was your

brilliant evil plan.

You're the evil genius.

No. You're the evil genius.

No. You're the evil genius.

Uh! Uh! Uhh!

Master Fung was right.

We have underestimated

our enemy.

What's with Jack?

I'll tell ya. He was

pretty impressive.

Even his disses

seemed to be better.

Although I do not like it when Jack

commences with the garbage talk,

even I must admit great

bald one was a good diss.

Ouch!

How did Jack suddenly

get so good?

He must've been practicing

while some of us

were using Shen Gong Wu to

get out of doing the dishes.

Kimiko: If we wanna beat Jack,

we're going to have to practice.

Ah-choo!

Aah! Whoa!

Yeah. Practice a lot.

Come on, come on! We

don't have all day.

Chill. Evil can wait

until my nails dry.

You get me those Shen Gong Wu,

and I will give you

anything you want.

Anything?

Anything.

Ok. First, I only

work one hour a day,

weekends and holidays off.

What?

Next, I want a condo.

Oceanview, and it's

gotta allow pets.

And I'll need some new

clothes and a car.

A cat-illac.

Are you getting all this down?

Ahh, the things I do for evil.

Yaa! Yaa!

Whaa! Come on, Kimiko.

Show me what you've got.

Yaa! Mantis Flip Coin.

Serpent's Tail.

Yes!

You're fast! But are you

fast enough to catch me?

What the heck?

Uhh! Doggone it.

Ehh! Uhh!

Ow.

Huh. Must be here somewhere.

I just had the darn thing.

Shen Gong Wu don't just

vanish into thin air.

Nnhh!

It is likely the work of

the Shard of Lightning.

Jack did this?

How?

Both: Shard of Lightning!

Master Fung: As soon as the user

brings forth the power of the shard,

he can move so fast

no one can see him.

I got the big guy. You get

the little monk, Jack.

The hand is faster than

even the Eye of Dashi.

That should teach them to

mess with Jack Spicer.

What to do with the cheeseball.

Ah!

Nah. Not evil enough.

Why stop there?

Perfect!

Master Fung: But the

powers of the shard

only last as long as the

flash of Lightning.

Huh?

Uhh!

My pants!

Oh, my shoes!

A squirrel?

A squirrel! Aah!

Wait. There are 2 Jacks?

Oh, my head is filled

with such confusion.

We're gonna take all

the Shen Gong Wu.

And there's nothing you Xiaolin

losers can do to stop us.

Both: Shard of Lightning!

Unbelievable!

Looks like Jack has

created another robot.

This time one who

gets his jokes.

How can they both use the shen

gong wu at the same time?

As long as they are both touching

the shard when it is activated,

they can both use its power.

We got your Shen Gong Wu.

Ha ha ha ha.

This is the worst thing ever.

Shard of Lightning!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Omi: I have misspoken too soon.

Jack and his evil robot twin have

taken most of the Shen Gong Wu.

Remember, it is better to

have lost the Shen Gong Wu

than never to have

won one at all.

No, it isn't.

I didn't have much

time to prepare.

Rr, rr, rr, wait. Another

Shen Gong Wu has activated.

Excellent.

This is perhaps our last

chance to defeat Jack

and, uh

Jack!

Ah, it's good to be the top cat.

Meow.

I have given you

everything you desire.

Now you must give

me what I want.

Me, me, me. You are so bossy.

And you're blocking my view.

Ah, I sense another shen

gong wu has revealed itself.

Uh, a little advice.

Mouthwash.

We're so going to

rule this planet.

You may have defeated us once.

Uh, twice.

Just to be accurate.

Whatever. Hey!

But that doesn't mean you're

gonna win against us now.

Oh, yeah? Well, we have

more Shen Gong Wu.

And all the good one-liners.

Just try to catch us.

Jack-bots, attack!

Seismic kick Earth.

Judo lei flip Fire!

Ahh! Aah!

Typhoon phoon! Hyah!

Tornado strike Water!

Jack's robots are no match for

skilled warriors like me.

Did you ever think that maybe he

was just trying to distract you

so he could go after

the Shen Gong Wu?

Oh, exactly what I was thinking.

We must be getting close.

Great! Now there's 2 of 'em.

Another whiner.

I'm not a whiner.

Forget about them.

Find the Shen Gong Wu.

Go away, Jack.

You talking to me?

Or are you talking to me?

Both of you. Beat it!

Both you you, beat it!

Stop that! You're so annoying.

Both: Stop that. You

are so annoying.

That's it. Your hour's up.

I am out of here.

You can't leave.

We had a deal.

Hey, ghost face. I quit.

Nothing is worth having to listen

to the whiny twins in stereo.

Uh, perhaps I was too hasty

in moving on to an

alliance with katnappé.

You and I make a

pretty good team.

Have you no shame?

I don't need you anymore.

I got him.

Ha ha ha.

What do you say?

I do the speaking

for both of us.

The Shen Gong Wu is ours.

I would not count my ducks

before they emerge

from their shells.

That wasn't even close.

Monkey tree as*ault.

Yes! It's ours!

Not unless you win it this time.

That's not fair.

It's 2 against one!

No, it's not.

I'm a solo act now.

What?

I thought we were a team!

So I'm showdown crossing you.

That's what evil partners do.

Yeah, good point.

What now? It's a 3-way tie.

Well, Dojo, I reckon it's

time to check the rule book.

Here it is.

It's called a showdown trio.

Kinda obvious.

I challenge you, Jack Spicer,

and also you, Jack Spicer

double, to a showdown trio.

Last man standing wins the game.

I wager the Tongue of Saiping.

I wager the Shard of Lightning.

I wager the Shroud of Shadows.

I change my mind. I want

the Shroud of Shadows.

Too late. It's already mine.

Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

All: Gong Yi Tampai!

Hey, watch where

you're going, Jack.

No. You watch where

you're going, Jack.

I know your every move

before you can make it.

Face it. You can't defeat me.

At least I still got

the robots on my side.

Robots rule!

You can't trust people,

ghosts, or robots.

Fine. I don't need

anyone's help.

Hello. I'm ready

to showdown here.

Shard of Lightning.

Hey

Huh?

Ooh, I am so scared of you.

Shroud of Shadows.

Ha ha. Hee hee.

Hey, where'd he go?

Uhh! Aah!

Aaahhh!

Wow! You really are the

ultimate evil machine.

Looks like you're next, baldy.

You are a formidable opponent.

I will not underestimate

you again.

Even with your garbage talk.

Shroud of Shadows!

Hah!

Jack Spicer, do you seek revenge

on your robot counterpart?

UhYeah. Why not?

Then tell me, what would you do

if it was you I was battling?

Hmm, first I would sneak up

on your left and hit you.

Uhh! Oww!

And then I'd sweep-kick

you under the feet.

And if that didn't work, I'd

climb up to the top of the cage

and pounce down on you.

Hey!

I will need more help if I

wish to defeat robo-Jack.

Tongue of Saiping!

Hummingbirds. Swarm.

Shoo! Get away! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Jaguars, pounce.

Nice Jaguar.

Friendly Jaguar.

How do you stop an

elephant from charging?

You do not!

Aah!

Time to commence with chores.

All: Shard of Lightning.

We will be victorious

over grime.

And, Raimundo, no more

disappearing acts.

We better hurry. Master

fung is almost here.

Hah!

3 seconds. Excellent time.

That leaves you the

rest of the day

to complete the other

tasks on my list.

Whose bright idea was it to

use the shard to save time?