06x19 - Canoe Believe It?

[bunniefuu]

[Chris]: Last time
on Total Drama Island...

Julia tried to play high status
with Michelle,

and got smacked
all the way down.

Our campers were frozen
with fear

to discover the challenge
was to retrieve a Chris coin

from inside an iceberg.

They encountered
boots to the face,

a cannon that fired
vicious seals,

and an abominable snowman!

And even though team Skunk Butt
won the challenge,

it was Michelle
who left the island,

because Hollywood sent her
a movie contract

she couldn't
say no to.

I should also mention
MK stole my hair dryer!

Let's see how that works out
for MK today

here on...
Total... Drama... Island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
And I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah, you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[grunting]

- Caleb!

Whatcha doing, dude?

- One arm hand stand pushups.

Really good for
my upper trapezius.

- Oh yeah!
Those trap easy things
are really important.

I have no idea what Caleb's
talking about.

Anyway, I noticed you been
spending a lotta time
with Priya lately.

[exhaling]
- Yep, I sure am.

An alliance with Priya could
take me all the way to
that million dollars.

- Oh.
I thought you liked her.

- Nah.
I mean, Priya's nice, but...

this is about the game.
Strategy.

- Oh boy, poor Priya...

She's driving her love bus
right off a cliff.

- Zee.
[spitting]

Please tell me you didn't
talk to Caleb about...

...what I told you.

- About you having a crush
on him?

- Shh!
I shouldn't have told you.

Did he say anything about me?

Don't answer that!
But did he?

- He...
- Don't answer that!

Please, don't mess this up
for me.

[sighing]
- Bad news, yo,
it's already messed up.

- Dude! Today we gotta outsmart
the cheaters

and win the challenge
by using our heads!

- Yes!
My head is a weapon.

Doctors say my skull's so thick

there's no room inside
for anything else.

[megaphone]: Attention campers.
Meet me in the dining hall.

It's challenge time.

- Sweet!
We're already here.

- First place yo!

[Chris]: Campers!

It's huge announcement time.

- Get on with it.

- Chef?
Do your thing.

- Team Rat Face,
Team Skunk Butt,
these are your banners.

[bubbling]

- The teams are merged!

Look to your left and then
to your right...

Those are now
your sworn enemies.

Going forward, only one camper
can win immunity,

which means everyone else
is up for elimination.

- Oh, it is on!!

- With the teams merging
I can't control the vote,

and Julia's
like a hungry dog eyeing
a charbroiled Bowie burger!

I need to win immunity today.

- In addition to the merging
of the teams,

there will now be
an immunity idol in play.

This handsome specimen will be
hidden somewhere on the island.

He's beautiful,
but not easy to find.

It might be in a tree,
or underground,

or even inside
something else.

- Can't be in here, coach.
There's no room.

- Wayne was in
a medical journal!

- I believe that.

As I was saying,
whoever finds the idol

can use it at an elimination
ceremony to save themselves

from being voted off.

Feel free to search for it
during your free time.

But for now, meet me outside.

It's challenge time!

- I'm only better than the other
competitors at a few things.

I can scream louder
and run away faster.

Neither of those will win me
that million dollars.

I need that immunity idol.

As you can see, today's
challenge involves canoeing.

So you'll need to pair up,
grab a canoe

and portage them
to the lake.

- Wait.
We can't all pair up.

We're an odd number now, so...

- Oh! You're right.
Well then...

Everyone but MK,
find a partner.

- Does Chris know about
the stolen uniform
and the cheating?

- Go Snow Owls!
- Sorry, Wayne.

I told Bowie
I'd partner with him.

- No problemo.
I'll ask Damien.

Damien!
My number two!

Up top!
- Eh...

Sorry, I'm partnered
with Zee-dog.

Ah OK, uh, maybe Ripper
will...

[moaning]

[groans in disgust]
Nope.

- That's right,
I'm stuck with you.

Try not to talk, okay?

- Okay.
- Seriously? That's talking.

- Sorry.
- Stop it.

- You got it!

- Wh-Why's it gotta be me who
doesn't get a partner, huh?

- Oh, if you prefer a partner,
maybe you can work with one
of the interns.

I know the perfect one.

Oh, I don't see him.

He's about your height,
uh with nervous,

deceitful eyes,
a mustache...

Where is he?

There he is!

- He knows.

- That's pretty impressive,

dressing up as an intern
to get information

on the challenges
so your team could cheat!

- What?!

I knew it.
I knew it!

I mean, I didn't know it.

But I knew it!

There are two things in
this world I cannot stand.

Cheaters and Double Dutch.

It's too many ropes!

[horn]

- More information will be given

once you get to the lake.

Go!

- So I guess I'll be carrying
my own canoe.

Heh.
How hard could it be?

[cheering]

- Go!
- Yes!

[grunting]

- This bites, but I've gotten
through worse on this show.

- Raj and Bowie...
Taking their canoe deep
on the outside...

They fake right...
Then deke left...

They leap over the rock...

They've got mad
portaging skills!

[laughing]
- I actually feel bad
for the other teams.

We are too good.
- Yeah!

We're gonna be unbeatable,
no matter what the challenge is!

- Echo!
[resonance]

Echo!

Julia...

I am your partner...

- Wayne and I are currently
partners, but don't worry.

I'm making a mental note
to hurt him after the challenge.

- When do you think the inside
of this canoe was last washed?

[sniffling]
- Well it smells like
my dad's shoes

in here, so... Never?

[laughing]
- You're really funny.

[laughing, snorting]
- Okay.

- Check out the flirting!

Looks like love is in the air.

- Woo!
[giggling]

- Nah, maybe he's just trying
to create an alliance

by using his charm
and showing off his muscles.

- Yeah... that's called
flirting.

- He's flirting?
Whoa!

That's like what you do
when you like like someone.

But he doesn't like Priya,
not like like Priya likes him.

And now I'm like,
stuck in the middle of this.

I don't like it.

[MK grunting]

[bird quacking]

- What?!
Get outta here!

THIS is why I support
clear cutting!

I don't, but when I'm mad
I say stuff I don't mean.

[trumpet blaring]

- Oh man. Did we travel back
in time?

- Wow. You're not smart.
That's hot!

- Campers, today I am your king

and you will entertain me.

And I hope you've learned
your lesson, MK.
[panting]

- That was my punishment
for cheating? Heh.

Carrying a canoe down a hill?
Huh. Wow.

[chuckling]
I got off easy...

Cool.

- Chris! Damien told me
he was something called

a "level 8 wizard squire"?

So we've got
this challenge made!

- Not something I was planning
on sharing with everyone.

- Here ye, here ye.

Welcome to King Chris'
royal rumble of canoe jousting!

- And guess what. The camper
you chose to partner with today

will actually be
your opponent.

Surprise!

You'll be fighting each other!

- Uh?
- What?!

- Uh-uh.

- Oh...
- Uh...
- Yes!

- Combatants will balance
on their canoes

while trying
to knock each other off.

The first opponent to hit
the water is done for the day.

The winner moves
onto the next round.

- By the end of this competition
there will be one winner.

Everyone else... is up
for elimination.

- So, uh, am I fighting

the mustachioed version
of myself?

- No, I found an opponent
for you in the woods.

[growling]

[screaming]

You see, cheating is cool
and all,

but then you stole my hairdryer.

Which caused me to have
a bad hair day

on international TV.

[growling]

- MK cheated. If the bear
doesn't maul her... I will.

- Not getting off easy.
It's a bear.

[screaming, growling]

[megaphone]: Round one.

Once you're knocked
into the water,

swim to this shore
until all the battles
are over.

To meet our non-deathy
mandate,

MK, your bear was equipped
with boxing gloves.

[ding-ding!]
- This rots.

[grunting]

- Ready... Set...
entertain your king!

[trumpet blaring]

- Don't worry, babe.

I won't let 'em tear us apart!

Chris? Axel and I need
different part--

[groans]

- Love hurts.

- Ripper is out of the tourney!

- I can't believe you did that.

- Do you know what happens when
couples fight?

They make up.
[gasping]

- Come on, Priya. I know you can
hit harder than that!

- I don't wanna hurt Caleb.

What if I left a mark
on that beautiful face?!

- Of course I'm going easy.

Batting Priya into the sun
would pretty much end
our alliance.

I'm playing the long game here.

- So...

- So...

Bowie and I are in such
a great place right now

that I'm worried he might not,
you know... giver.

- I really like Raj, but like
I said, I need immunity today.

- Ah!
[dramatic music]

- Ouch!
Bowie takes out Raj.

- Ow! Nice one!
Right in the chompers!

- I can do this all day.

- I'll clap when I'm impressed.

- Oh, you want me to impress you
before I smash you
into the water?

- When you talked about football
I assumed you were a player,
not a mascot!

[laughing]
- Okay...
you wanna play for real?

- Bring it!
- Oh, I'll bring it!

In a reusable bag full of pain!

- Is it just me or are we
enjoying this way too much?

- Canoe jousting with Priya is
the best date I've ever been on.

She's really fun to be with...

- Ready when you are, man.

- Come on, Damien.

Just remember everything
you learned

at Dungeons
and Flying Lizards camp.

[screaming]

- Ooh! Ow! Yah!
Not ready!

[screaming]
Oh!

- Hey man, not cool.

[epic music]

- You're going in that water!

- Maybe to save your butt
from drowning

after I knock you off
this canoe!

- Whoa!

- Caleb and Priya hit
the water at the same time.

They're both
outta the challenge.

[laughing]

- Well there goes that.

Now what?

- How about we sneak off and
try to find the immunity idol?

- Sure!
I know it's not a date.

I'm not thinking
of it as a date.

But it's kinda like a date.
[giggling]

Whatever.

[Chris on megaphone]: MK's plan
of wearing out

the bear's fists
isn't working.

- Thankfully my helmet
prevents me

from sustaining "drain bamage".

[screaming]
- Whoa!

Ah-ha!

Prepare to yield, Sir Soda Man!

Yah!

- Maybe I can teeter-totter
myself

outta this sitch.

[screaming]

- Ah!

[screaming]

[megaphone]: Zee's out.

- The Level 8 wizard nerd
squire wins!

- Woohoo!

- Aw man.

Ah! Sweet.

- Nothing in shrub number 197...

- Chris did say it'd be hard
to find. It might take a while.

- No worries. One time my
parents made me find

a needle
in an actual haystack.

They said it would teach me
about the patience required

to win reality show challenges.

- That actually sounds
kinda fun.

I didn't get to have fun
until I finished my homework.

And when you're studying to get
into MIT,

the homework never ends.

[giggling]
- Okay, maybe I'd take
the haystack.

[laughing]
- I thought so.

Whoa. Our parents are both
a little "much", huh?

- Yeah... I guess we have that
in common. Heh.

- Joust! Joust!

Joust! joust! Joouust!

- You don't have to say the word
while you're doing it!

Ugh. Okay, my arms are getting
pretty tired and I need this
to end.

Now.
- Joust.

- Oh! Oh...

I can't believe
you hit a girl!

- Aw, I'm sorry, eh!

I didn't mean to--
Ow!

[gasping]
- Ouch!
- Dude!

- Wayne!
- No jock!

- Julia wins!

- You don't get called
a drama queen for nothing.

You have to work at your craft.

[megaphone]: MK's continuing
to do a great impression

of a punching bag.
[groaning]

- Okay, this beast ain't gonna
fall in the water by itself.

So I'm gonna... hit a bear.

Wish me luck.

[screaming]

Uh-oh.
[screaming]

I give up. I give up!

- There's no giving up.

The battle only ends when
one of you is in the water.

- Then I'm getting
in the water!

[screaming]

- And MK has been eliminated
in a royally amusing fashion.

Next up in our royal joust
will be Damien versus Julia

and Bowie versus Axel.

Bear, you're done for the day.

[groaning, grunting]

[trumpet blaring]

Ready yourselves for round two!

[megaphone]: Listen up. To make
the second round harder,

I've added... sharks!

[screaming]
- Why you gotta put sharks
in every water challenge?!

- Because the lions
kept drowning.

- Ready set go!
[screaming]

- Go, Bowie!

Kick Axel's butt!

- Take him out, babe!

- Axel can't lose. She has
no weaknesses. zero.

- Ooh!

- Hey Axel, your army boots
are untied.

- Nice try. Do you think
I'd actually fall for that?

- You're right. My bad.

[gasping]
Oh wow! Why is Ripper

giving mouth-to-mouth
to a raccoon?!

- What?!

- Woohoo!

- Axel gets the axe! Bowie wins!

[cheering]
- That's my boyfriend!
- Yay!

- She only lost cause
she thought I was making out
with a raccoon!

I guess her one weakness...

...is her love for me.

[dramatic music]

[growling]
- Don't even think about it.

- ...Sometimes I just wish
my parents

would let me make
my own decisions, you know?

- Yeah!
Not everyone's meant
to be a space engineer.

Why can't I just be
an environmental engineer

who plays golf
every now and then.

- Exactly! Wow...

I didn't think I could
like you more than I do.

[gasping]
- Sorry, what?

- Huh-what?
- I didn't hear what you said.

[laughing]
- That's so funny, I didn't
hear what you said!

[laughing nervously]

[screaming]

What am I doing?!

"Do not fall
for another competitor"

is literally rule number 12
on page two of the handbook.

But he's so amazing!
[giggling]

Ugh! Stop it!

- I don't think we're gonna find
the idol today.

We should probably head back.

- Maybe we can try again
tomorrow.

- Deal!

[dreamy music]

[both grunting]

[screaming]

- Oh! Ooh...
Sharp and pointy.

- Oh no.
[screaming]

[grunts]

- Julia's out.
This is incredible!

- The final round of
the challenge will be
Damien versus Bowie.

And I finally realized
what was missing for this
to be jousting.

Horses!

[all]: Horses?!

[horse neighing]

Yes! This is how they did
it in the old days!

- I don't think Chris has ever
read a history book.

- This is it!
Knock your opponent off
and you win immunity!

- I should've been going up
against Julia,

but Damien got lucky,

which means I got
very lucky.

Just take a dive, Damien.

I don't want to hurt you.

You saw what I did to Axel.

- Bowie's right.
My odds aren't great.

But if I'm gonna lose,
I wanna get in one good shot.

Then I can go out
like a true knight.

With dignity!

[megaphone]: Ready... Set...

- One shot.
Just get in one shot.

- Joust!

[trumpet blaring]

[horse neighing]

[screaming]

- Wow! What did we miss?

[epic music]

- Dear editors:
Please make sure
my amazing victory

gets the slo-mo treatment
it deserves.

[♪]

- Damien wins immunity!

[cheering]

- I did not see this coming.

- Every day is a shock.

- Da-mien! Da-mien!

Da-mien!
Haha!

- Oh! Bowie lost?!

Oh, amazing.

Okay, let's see if I can get
enough votes

to send him packing.

[wolf screaming in distance]

[dramatic music]

[growling]

- The first challenge without
a team to help you is
always hard,

and some of you couldn't
"bear" it.

- Boo!

- MK, you were outed
as the cheater you are.

Will your fellow competitors
be as forgiving as Chris was?

- Forgiving? Is that a joke?

I got beat up by a bear!

Bowie. You made it to the final
round but didn't win immunity.

Your enemies are piling up fast.

Priya and Caleb. You both lost
in round one

then snuck off hoping to find
the immunity idol but didn't.

so neither of you are safe
tonight either.

- I hope Priya isn't going home.

She's actually kind of amazing.

Smart. Funny. Pretty.

Maybe there could be more than
an alliance between us.

[dreamy music]

- Caleb is just
a big flirt machine.

Oh man...

Priya won't be happy
when she figures it out.

- If you get a marshmallow
you're safe.

Zee. Priya. Caleb.

Axel. Ripper. Julia.

Wayne, and Raj.
You are all safe.

Bowie and MK... Only one
marshmallow remains.

The last
marshmallow goes to...

[dramatic music]

Ugh... MK.

Bowie, your time on the island
is over.

- No...
- Hey.

There's no time to be sad.
You play to win!

Then I can tell everyone that
my boyfriend...

...is a millionaire.

- Okay, Bowie.

Here. So you don't forget me.

- Um... Okay.

- I told the Rat Faces
it was Bowie's idea to cheat
with the intern costume.

- I can't feel my face.

[Bowie]: I should've
seen it coming.
When you're the fittest,

coolest, best looking person,

people will always try
to tear you down.

But I don't hate them for it.

Except for Julia.

- And "joust" like that--
- Boo!

- ...last season's runner-up
is headed home,

proving that no one
is ever truly safe.

Not here on...
Total ...Drama ... Island!