Elio (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Okay. How about...

a rocket dog with space chips?

Spaghetti with meteors?

Galactic grape cup?

Elio, you have to eat something.

You remember what your

mom used to order for you?

Major Sols, what

are you doing here?

Hey! Yeah, I'm with my nephew.

I'm trying to get him to eat.

Oh, right. Your nephew.

I heard about your brother

and his wife. I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

We're managing.

What about the astronaut

program? Weren't you about...

No. Not anymore.

The timing just isn't right.

Of course.

But it's been great spending

time with my new roommate.

Right, buddy?

Oh, no.

Hello from the children

of Planet Earth.

Since the dawn of time,

humans have gazed at the

stars and wondered...

are we alone?

Voyager is our

attempt to find out.

This intrepid explorer

is on a mission,

traveling farther than

any human has ever gone,

to the distant reaches

of the cosmos and beyond.

Voyager will never see

those who made it again.

It will drift on,

solitary and alone.

But maybe one day,

distant worlds will

receive its message

and Voyager will

complete its mission,

proving we aren't

so alone after all.

Elio! Elio!

Elio...

Are you hurt? What happened?

What happened?

Is life really out

there, Ta Olga?

What?

Come on.

You can't run away

like that, Elio.

I should like to extend the greetings of

the government and the people of Canada.

Hello from the children

of Planet Earth.

Oh, wait.

Okay.

Elio!

Hey.

Are you Elio?

Who wants to know?

You put flyers up

for a Ham radio club?

I am Elio Sols,

president and leader

of the Ham Radio Club

of this beach.

Cool. I'm Bryce.

Great, cool, awesome.

Did you bring it?

Oh, yeah. It's my dad's ham radio,

but I have my own call sign.

It's PXLOL,

which sometimes makes

people I talk to laugh.

How far have you called?

On Friday I talked to...

Ohio.

If I can pair these together,

I can double their reach.

Okay, you can go now.

Go? Wait.

Where's everyone else?

Unfortunately, most of our

members came down with...

amnesia and forgot to come,

but I'll see you at the

next meetup in three months!

-What's up, Bryce?

-Hey.

One, two...

You almost messed up there.

Hey.

Oh, yeah.

-Swoosh!

-Nice.

This is Caleb. He

wanted to come too.

Hey. What's with the hat?

Like I said, the meetup's been

postponed. Shingles is no joke.

I thought it was amnesia.

Oh, my gosh, you're

right. It's spreading.

-You better go before you catch it. Bye!

-Yo, what's up with this guy?

Dude, chill.

He's the kid whose parents died.

Hey, that's classified

information.

As leader of this

radio club, I hereby...

Did you do that?

No.

-Is this supposed to happen?

-Don't. Stop it!

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?

-Let me see that.

-Don't touch that.

-I was just looking at it.

-I have to respond.

-Let go!

-Quit it.

No!

Yo, that was not my fault.

I didn't mean to...

Oh, come on.

You suborbital, gaseous...

waste of mass!

Activate supernova blast!

Get off of me, you freak.

-Come on, guys, stop!

-He bit me!

Hey, what are you doing?

Unbelievable!

Fighting on the beach,

skipping school?

Am I going to have to

put a tracker on you?

Now your eye.

The doctor said not to

touch it for two weeks.

Elio!

You meant starting now.

This is serious! What

were you thinking?

I was minding my own business,

taking in the night air

-and suddenly these ruffians attacked me.

-No, no, no.

Look at me in the eye and

for once, tell me the truth.

No. I'm not learning Elioese.

Major Sols.

You going to the

seminar tonight?

There'll be a speaker from the

Astronaut Selection Program.

No. No, no.

Something came up.

Oh, is this the nephew

we've heard so much about?

Yes, that's him.

-Gloodle!

-Stop it!

I don't know if this is boundary

testing, or sleep regression, or...

Which one of these is you?

I don't know, but I

think that one is you.

Okay, I've got one last meeting.

So, I need you to sit here

and not move or speak

or injure yourself

for 10 minutes.

I have enough to

deal with already.

What's with this

emergency meeting?

Oh, you didn't hear?

Melmac thinks he found aliens.

This ought to be good.

All right, Mr. Melmac,

let's hear it.

Major...

Major Sols, earlier today,

I found this signal coming

from interstellar space.

Melmac, please.

-It's late...

-Wait, wait, wait.

Listen closely.

Hello, Planet Earth.

Hello, Planet Earth.

In 1977, NASA launched the...

-The Golden Record.

-The Golden Record! Yes.

-The what?

-The Golden Record, sir,

was Earth's message in a bottle.

Hello from the children

of Planet Earth.

Don't you see?

Hello, Planet Earth.

I think someone in interstellar

space found our message

and is sending it

back to us as a reply!

-Melmac...

-Major...

-Melmac...

-Major!

We can't just leave it like

this, we have to respond.

I've already rerouted every

satellite to send the signal back.

Sure, it might cause

a few system failures.

Whoop. Sorry. Maybe a

small electrical fire,

but it would be worth

it for first contact!

I have everything cued up and

ready to go. Just say the word!

If someone or something

is calling out to Earth,

who on Earth do you

want taking that call?

You...

should go home.

-Take a week.

-Take two weeks.

No. You got to believe me.

Major, please!

They're out there!

Major!

Unhand me!

May I remind everyone that

we are orbital analysts.

We track space debris,

not rogue UFO signals.

Let's just...

Let's just take five.

It's been a long night.

What a nutjob.

This is Elio Sols

of the planet Earth.

I come in peace...

and I'm super

excited to join you.

I'm creative, hardworking...

shredded.

So please come and get

me. I'll be waiting.

Okay, bye. Love you.

Yes.

Yes!

Yes!

Oh, no.

Time is of the essence. They could

be here any minute. I got to pack!

I take full responsibility, but,

I mean, you have kids, right?

I'll be out of your

way soon. Don't worry.

-Just need a few snacks for the road.

-Elio!

Sorry, ma'am. What was that?

Which will you miss

the least? Fuego?

-Fuego. Yeah.

-I understand.

Should I bring forks, or would

they think they're weapons?

Not worth the risk!

I'll bring spoons.

Nice, peaceful spoons.

-Where's my good cape?

-You too, ma'am.

-It's not in the wash, is it?

-Thank you.

-Here it is!

-Elio...

Blue or green? Which one

says, "Take me with you,"

but not in a desperate way?

Elio, stop! Please!

Aliens are not coming for you.

But that guy said...

You're out of control.

You got in a fight.

You shut down power

to the whole base

and I almost lost my job!

We have to try

something different.

Boarding school? You're

trying to get rid of me.

No, this is just their sleep away

camp. It's just a couple of weeks.

I can't go. They're

coming tonight.

You need to make friends

or just a friend.

I don't care about friends.

I need to meet aliens.

Why?

Because there's 500 million

habitable planets out there

and one of them's got to want

me! Because obviously you don't!

Of course, I do! We're family!

You're not my family!

Your life isn't up there, Elio.

It's down here.

I can't deal with this.

I don't know if anybody

can deal with this.

When I drop him off tomorrow,

I'm going to see if they

can enroll him in the fall.

I know,

but this just isn't how I

thought my life would be.

It's an ancient human theme.

You can find it in

virtually every culture,

in religion,

folklore, superstition

and now in science.

The search for life elsewhere

is remarkable in our age,

because this is the first time

that we can actually do something

besides speculation.

We can send spacecraft

to nearby planets.

We can use large

radio telescopes

to see if there is any message

being sent to us lately...

and it touches to the

deepest of human concerns.

Are we alone?

No contact! No contact!

You know I went here

too, when I was a kid.

You might not believe

me right now...

but this will be good for you.

-Counselor Truman, could I have a word?

-Of course, Major.

We got in so much trouble...

because of you.

Yeah. Thanks a lot.

-Better watch your back.

-Yeah.

He's going to be so freaked out!

Follow my lead.

Quiet. Quiet.

We're not going to hurt him,

right? Just scare him a little?

Come on, it'll be funny.

Shut up! You'll wake

him up. Come on.

Quiet, quiet!

Greetings, Earthling.

We come in peace!

Where did he go?

Athena 5, there is a decommissioned

satellite headed your way.

I'm calculating a new flight

path for you. Standby.

Go ahead, Montez.

Minus 53, plus 32, roll seven.

Yeah, copy that.

Sorry about the scare.

There's been a lot of

satellite interference today.

Roger that. Athena

5, over and out.

Elio!

-Come out, come out, wherever you are!

-Elio!

-Don't you want to hang out with us?

-I thought you wanted to meet some aliens.

Come on, it'll be fun.

He's out here somewhere.

Come on, Space Boy! We

know you're out there.

Gotcha!

You found me.

This is payback.

It's okay. You don't

need to pay me back.

Wait. What is that?

Hope you like how it tastes.

There's something back there.

Look!

You're so dead, Sols.

Hey, hold on.

Wait.

Please.

Yes!

Yes!

It's happening! It's

really happening.

I knew it! I knew it!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Thank you!

Yes! Yeah!

Hi.

I knew it! I knew aliens were

looking for me. You saved my life!

I promise I'll pull my

weight on this spaceship?

Is this a spaceship? Anyway,

where should we start?

Probes? Samples?

I've got plenty.

Testing, testing, testing.

Can you understand me now?

Yes. Wow.

It is a pleasure to meet you.

I am Ooooo, a liquid

supercomputer.

Allow me to adjust your gravity.

-Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine.

-Gravity on.

A welcome glass of glorp,

compliments of the Communiverse.

Thank you.

Wait. The what?

Welcome to the Communiverse,

a pangalactic organization of the

advanced species of the cosmos.

The greatest minds of the universe come

here to share knowledge, innovation...

And recipes!

Welcome!

-Welcome!

-Lovely.

Greetings, Ambassadors!

Absolutely ecstatic to

make your acquaintance.

You've run dry. Let me

top you off, old brick.

Thank you.

Yes. One cerebellum,

four lobes...

and a medulla.

Do you mind if I take a

little peek inside and see?

Questa, don't mind read

him, you've just met him.

So sorry about that.

I am Questa of Gom.

Helix of Falluvinum.

Tegmen of Tegmeg.

And you are?

Elio Sols of, uh... Earth!

A toast to our new candidate,

Elio Sols of Uh-Earth.

-There he is!

-Elio Sols!

Look, it's Elio!

It's a new candidate!

Salutations!

I love your eye!

We search the universe for

like-minded souls and new species

and we think you're an excellent

candidate for Communiverse membership.

You mean I could stay here?

If all the members

agree, then, yes.

You'll be one of us and be the

proud bearer of one of these.

Now come, everyone's

eager to meet you.

Each of us brings our specialized

knowledge and interest to share.

Greetings, Naos!

Hello. Salutations.

Naos, here, created the Communidiscs

we all use with controls for gravity...

temperature...

and all known languages.

You know Elioese?

-Gloodle!

-Gloodle!

Gloodle!

This is my most

recent design. Try it.

Hello.

I am the Universal Users Manual.

I contain the secrets

of the universe.

What is the meaning of life?

What lies beyond a black

hole? Is there a purpose to...

Who would win in a fight?

One gorilla with a

baseball bat or ten chimps?

None who fight are true winners.

The gorilla.

These little critters

are mimollusks.

They use nanotechnology to

construct anything you desire.

Are you kidding me?

How dashing!

This is the most beautiful

place I've ever seen.

This is the bathroom.

Gets me every time.

Bracing.

It's like I was always

meant to be here.

I knew you were looking for me.

Of course we were

looking for you.

Ever since we picked up this charming

little spacecraft you sent us.

Voyager?

We found it in an

asteroid field.

Nice craftsmanship.

Thanks?

Curious about the species who

made it, we sent an invitation

and were delighted to receive

your planet's official reply.

This is Elio Sols of the planet Earth

and I'm super excited to join you.

I'm creative,

hardworking, shredded.

So, please come and get me. I'll

be waiting. Okay, bye. Love you.

-Very touching.

-We are delighted

to finally make

your acquaintance,

Leader of Uh-Earth.

Why is your face melting?

-Well...

-Ambassadors,

an urgent matter

requires your attention.

It involves the other candidate.

-Oh, him.

-Oh, dear.

We should hurry. Quickly now!

Excuse us.

Please join us.

Your technology and my weapons

would be an unstoppable alliance.

Now, admit me to

your Communiverse!

Unfortunately, Candidate Grigon,

it is our assessment

that you are

not a fit.

I, Lord Grigon,

Blood Emperor of

Hylurg, not a fit?

Well, we believe in tolerance

and open-mindedness...

I am tolerant!

So sorry, it's not you.

It's us.

I thought we said it was him.

If I cannot join

the Communiverse,

then I shall take it by force!

Prepare to be conquered!

What a brute!

Why did he make a new hole?

I suggest we run and hide.

Yes, let's go to the edge of the

cosmos and turn off all the lights.

That includes me, right?

Oh, so sorry, candidate Sols,

we couldn't possibly accept new

members under the current situation.

Applications are

closed indefinitely.

-But I just got here!

-Such a shame.

Let's check back in

a few thousand years?

Perhaps one of us could

talk to Lord Grigon.

-You do it!

-Not me.

-I am shy.

-I'm busy.

-I have allergies.

-My battery is low.

Don't worry. I'll return you to your

life on Uh-Earth just as it was.

Just as it was.

No, no!

I'll do it.

I'm the leader of Earth.

I'm the perfect guy for the job.

What did it say?

-How curious.

-I do not understand.

-You would talk to Lord Grigon?

-But what would you say?

Are you an expert on

conflict negotiation?

You kidding? My life is

nothing but conflict...

and I've got the battle

scars to prove it.

It would be a welcome change

not to flee every bully

who covets our treasures.

Yes. What's in it for you?

Why would you agree to

such a dangerous mission?

Because...

you need me.

And at my age it's

really about giving back.

If you can make Grigon go away,

we'd make you a member on the spot.

Then I, the leader of

Earth, am ready to serve.

-Good. Very good.

-How impressive!

-What courage!

-Wonderful!

Candidate Sols, you

continue to surprise.

When Grigon returns, we

shall be ready for him.

Until then, as you

say on Uh-Earth.

Okay, bye. I love you.

Okay. Bye. I love you.

Don't worry. I got this.

You're in great hands.

Just one last order of business.

Oh, yeah, of course.

While you negotiate with the warlord,

you'll need a temporary replacement.

Can I trouble you

for a DNA sample?

Sure. Where do you want it...?

Wow. My first probe.

World leaders, such as

yourself, can't just disappear.

Your planet would

descend into chaos.

That's what cloning clay is for.

Is this...?

Are you...?

Me?

Rock...

Paper...

Black hole!

-Space is the best!

-Space is amazing!

In you go.

Sorry.

It's a living.

So, what is my motivation?

What do you mean?

Should I change anything

or just stick with the low

self-esteem and desperation to belong?

What? I'm normal,

just be normal.

No weird stuff, okay?

-Okay.

-Okay.

Have fun.

Intriguing Uh-Earth

custom. The warlord awaits.

There was just a few things

I wanted to brush up on.

Where was that thing that knew

everything about everything?

You mean this?

Hello. I am the

Universal Users Manual.

Would you like to learn the

meaning of life now? It's a...

No. I need everything you've got on

how to negotiate with the warmonger.

Certainly.

-I have chapters on leading with empathy.

-Nope.

-Fostering connection?

-Nope.

Making the k*ller deal?

Yes, that one. Do

you have a pen?

In the increasingly likely

event that you will die,

would you like to notify

your next of kin on Uh-Earth?

No, that's okay.

Start from a position of power.

The most important

thing is to stay calm.

Don't you tell me to stay calm!

What is this, huh? A

camp or a fight club?

He's an innocent little boy

and if this is what you

call building character,

then I'll take it

up with your boss,

or her boss. Everyone's boss!

Unacceptable!

I never should

have left you here.

Yeah, they chased me

because I'm weak and small,

but there was pizza for dinner.

So, overall, a pretty good night.

How's the eye? Swollen?

-Did they hurt it?

-It's fine.

I'm so sorry I didn't check in.

-Something weird was happening.

-That's okay.

I was tracking this crazy

signal from space...

Are we going home?

What's for dinner?

Mac and cheese.

I just thought you'd be interested because

if aliens were calling from space...

Early morning fog and

clouds along the coast...

Elio?

Are we doing regular or

white cheddar? I'm starved.

So, you don't want

to talk about aliens?

Not really. I thought it'd be

better if I just dropped it.

Really?

That's... amazing.

Good for you.

I love this song.

Do you see him?

Yes, and he's brought his...

compatriots.

Jolly good.

Okay. Be confident. Speak

from a position of power.

He's here!

He's here. There he is.

The man of the hour.

Sorry I'm late.

So, is Lord Grigon coming here?

Oh, no. You will

be going out there.

Okay, bye. Love you.

What is this?

Red? Green?

Welcome, Captain Sols.

You have selected a

map of our coordinates.

Cabin pressure. Shield function.

A nutritious shake. A breath mint.

A bladder evacuation module.

He found the mint.

You have set our destination

to your home planet.

Uh-Earth.

Confirm or cancel?

Good luck.

Cancel.

Okay, okay.

A little to the left.

Get your nubs at ten and two.

What a heroic figure he cuts.

Hi. Take me to your leader?

Okay, look him in the

eye. Stand your ground.

You're the alpha, you're

the k*ller. You're...

This is who the

Communiverse sends?

You are more puny

than I expected.

I could say the same about you.

What?

What do you need to leave

the Communiverse alone?

Hylurgians prefer to negotiate

with screams in the air.

Pull!

Recoil's a little heavy.

Your turn.

Darn! I left my

arm cannon at home.

Why don't we...?

Use one of mine.

So nice of you.

I mean, we're both

leaders and...

Pull!

Surely we could find something

to everyone's mutual...

benefit.

Trick shot.

Perhaps we are able to

communicate... Pull!

But those Communiverse weaklings

look at me like some

kind of monster.

How dare they reject me!

Well, if they don't want you,

why not find someone who does?

Come again?

There's got to be

a place out there

that would love to have

a strong guy like you.

But is the Communiverse not where

the greatest leaders gather?

Am I not great?

Totally.

But why waste your life trying to

connect with people who don't get you?

It's time to move on.

Right, Gri-guy?

Gri-guy?

Yes. What, Workko, what is it?

Your Wrath, the princeling

wants to see you.

For the hate of the...

Tell him I am busy!

So, as we were saying,

forget the Communiverse...

You are a father, right?

Yeah.

It is so difficult!

He has no concept of the

importance of my work.

I get it. If he's too hard to

handle, then just ship him off.

That's what I did

with mine. So...

"Too hard to handle"?

I mean...

You think I cannot

handle my own son?

No, no, no. I

don't think that...

No! Really. Tell me

what I am doing wrong!

It's okay. I'm a bad parent too.

-What?

-None of us know what we're doing.

We didn't even want this, right?

Let me remind you who

you are dealing with!

I am Grigon, Blood

Emperor of Hylurg...

scourge of the Crab

Nebula and a great father!

Pull!

Right, why don't we take

a little breather...

The negotiation is over. Gronk!

Show the prisoner

to his quarters!

Prisoner? What?

You will watch from a cell as I

destroy your beloved Communiverse!

No, no, wait!

He's really turned

over a new leaf.

-Hey, Elio.

-Hey, Jim. How's your back?

-Oh, you know...

-I hear ya.

Camp must've really helped.

I guess it did.

But he was only

there for one day.

I overheard the colonel

raving about you.

Really? She was?

Yeah. You've been

working really hard.

That's so good to hear. I thought

I'd never get off her bad side.

Everyone's super impressed.

Wait, please. You

made a mistake.

I'm the leader of Earth!

Gravity... off.

Okay, that's enough!

Gravity back!

Okay. I'll just get back to

Grigon. What haven't I tried?

"Bargaining chip"? Like,

something valuable?

Where am I going to find...?

Hi, there.

I'm too young to die.

I'm too young to die.

I'm too young to die.

What's happening?

What's happening?

Translator disc, cool.

-Are you going to eat me?

-What?

I was just swaddling you

because you seemed scared.

That's what my mom

does when I get scared.

I'm rarely unswaddled.

You're just a little kid.

So? Don't have to

be rude about it.

No, no, no. Hey, come back!

I wasn't making fun of you!

My name's Elio.

What's your name?

You really want to know my name?

Well, I really want to get down.

I'm Glordon! No one's ever

asked me my name before.

I mean, I ask a lot of

questions all the time.

No one ever asks me about

questions about me, though.

Like what my favorite color is.

It's purple, if you're

asking. Are you asking?

What's wrong with you?

That's just my carapace.

-What?

-I'll show you.

Ta-da!

Every Hylurgian gets one

when they come of age.

It's got weapons

and bombs and stuff.

Ooh, and a cup holder!

It's bespoke.

So, if Hylurgians took off their

armor, they'd look like you?

Yeah, but nobody

would ever do that.

To expose your soft, warm flesh

would dishonor you and your

whole family for all eternity.

I can't wait to get installed.

I'm going to look so hot.

Alert! A prisoner has escaped.

-Oh, no.

-Are they talking about you?

It's a complicated political

situation. You wouldn't understand.

-Are you a treacherous dissident?

-Where is he?

-Check every chamber!

-Are you an assassin?

-You two with me. Move!

-What'd you do?

Yes, sir!

Come on, I'm really

good at keeping secrets.

-Nothing here, sir.

-Keep looking!

The secret is...

I'm a kid.

What? Really?

Mm-hmm.

And I kind of tricked the Communiverse

into thinking I was the leader of Earth.

-What?

-Just leave them alone

or else I'm going to be captured out of

the only place I've ever wanted to be.

No way! You're crazy.

I know and now Grigon's

going to blow everyone up

unless I can find

a bargaining chip.

Something he values, but

what does he even value?

Well, Dad values blood, glory,

the misery of his enemies.

-There was this one time...

-Hold up.

Grigon's your dad?

I thought you knew.

I look just like him.

Check it out.

I've been working on my back.

Can I ask you a big favor?

Sure.

Bargaining chip. Cool.

I've never been a

bargaining chip before.

I've been a liability.

A disappointment.

-A deduction.

-Are we almost to my ship?

Not far now. I've also

been a pillow, an enigma,

a problem, a headache.

Little help, please.

Lately, I've just been ignored,

but now my dad's finally

going to pay attention to me.

Do your parents pay

attention to you?

Well, my Aunt Olga doesn't care.

With me out the way she can

do what she really wants.

Like be an astronaut

or whatever.

She gave up being an

astronaut or whatever for you?

Wow. She must really love you.

No, no, she doesn't.

But now I'm free to

join the Communiverse,

which is where I belong anyway

and that's where you come in,

bargaining chip.

Wiggle, wiggle.

Candidate Sols?

Sorry to bother you.

It's just that the

Hylurgian ships

seem to be pointing

their cannons at us.

Is this part of

the negotiations?

Oh, that's just a

drill. Don't worry.

Wiggle.

Come on.

What are these

tunnels for, anyway?

Oh, these are the lava flumes.

They power the cannons.

Glordon, I am not fireproof!

-Really? Why didn't you say something?

-Glordon!

It's okay. Just get in my mouth.

What? No way!

Trust me.

It's actually kind

of comfy in here.

It is? I've never been

in there. Hold on.

Yeah!

Refreshing.

You okay?

Yes!

Lower me down.

Thanks, Glordon.

It's nothing. Up top.

How long's the flight?

Any snacks on board?

It's Candidate Sols! I'm

sure he's bringing good news.

Look out!

I'm so excited. I'm so

excited. I'm so excited.

-Candidate Sols?

-What's happened?

Ooooo, open a line

to Lord Grigon!

-Of course.

-Who is this?

Who is responsible for...

-You!

-Yes.

It's me! The leader of Earth.

And the negotiation is not

over because now I've got this!

Oh, my.

Glordon?

Yes, and pretty soon he's

going to be Glor-done.

Hi, Dad. I'm a bargaining chip.

No. Say the other thing.

Help me, Father.

He overpowered me.

He's too strong. Too shredded.

Quiet, you!

What is that unholy

sound? Stop! Stop!

Only if you swear...

On your Hylurgian honor.

On your Hylurgian honor

to leave the Communiverse

in peace and never return.

My Hylurgian honor?

Do you know what you

are asking? I will...

Stop!

I concede!

I swear on my honor...

You are full of surprises.

You have my vow.

I will come to collect my son,

but if even one hair on

a single nub is harmed,

you will feel my wrath.

Well done. I knew

you had it in you.

Thank you.

Oh, I can't wait for this all to be over,

and officially welcome you into the fold.

I'm customizing your

membership badge right now.

Do you like the color?

It's beautiful.

And so well-deserved.

But first, let's prepare

for Lord Grigon's arrival.

Come, everyone. Chop chop.

You guys go ahead. I'll take

care of the bargaining chip.

Very good, Candidate Sols. Now,

does anyone know a good caterer?

Oh, we did it.

Yeah. You were so cool.

Oh, you okay?

I've never been outside before.

It's cold here.

Wow! This thing's amazing.

Watch this. Gravity off.

Gravity off.

You think this is cool? Come on!

Your Wrath, the shuttle

is ready. Shall we depart?

No, not yet.

The princeling was taken

because he was vulnerable...

exposed, soft.

Prepare his carapace.

But that will take

time, Your Bloodness...

Do it! We will perform Glordon's

ceremony on the Communiverse

and they will quiver at

the full might of Hylurg!

-Ready?

-Yes.

No.

Okay, yes!

On three.

One, two...

-Two and a half.

-Two and a half.

Three!

-Again?

-Heck, yeah, again.

-On three.

-One, two.

Yeah!

No, no.

Noice.

So, everyone speaks

Elioese on Earth?

Nah, just me.

And my parents.

Or at least they did.

My aunt's not into it,

but I keep using it

so I don't forget.

Did something happen

to your parents?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I know it's not the same,

but my mom's gone a lot.

Fighting the Blood Wars.

I miss her a ton.

Sometimes it feels like

Dad doesn't even want me.

I know what you mean.

The only people who

wanted me are gone.

But I don't know.

What if...

What if there's nothing

about me to want?

I thought Earth

was the problem...

but what if it's me?

Well, I like you.

And you seem fine to me.

He brought your carapace.

I guess so?

But that's good, right?

Yeah. I mean, it has a flame

thrower, a circular saw, acid g*n.

I'll get to fight, and

conquer, and k*ll, and...

Glordon,

do you not want to get

into your carapace?

Yeah, I mean, kind of, well...

No, no.

I've been pretending to want

it, but I've been living a lie!

Once I'm installed, I'll

never get to play, or swim,

or do anything.

It'll be the worst!

But why didn't

you say something?

Because all Hylurgians

have to do it!

It's tradition.

And if I don't,

my dad would hate me.

Glordon, you're not

getting in there.

But I don't have a choice.

We'll figure it out.

I don't know how, but...

Oh, wait.

What?

What are we doing?

We're going to give

your dad what he wants.

Me?

Well, yes, but also no.

Cloning clay? Are

you sure about this?

Yeah. Why not?

I don't know. Would a

clone really fool my dad?

He's pretty smart.

It's going to work.

I'll show you.

Ooooo? Ooooo?

-Yes?

-Can I check on my clone?

Certainly.

That smells good, papito.

It's a secret recipe.

You're going to love it.

How are you so

good at everything?

Wow. I guess it does work.

Okay, let's do it.

Yeah.

Yeah!

Okay. Your dad will take

your clone back to Hylurg,

I'll become an Ambassador,

and neither of us will

have to see Hylurg,

or stupid Earth again.

It's a win-win-win.

Yes.

I'm Glordon!

Wow! Am I really that ripped?

You, follow us.

You got it.

You'll be safe in here.

No one else can open it.

All right, Glordon,

get in the ship.

Okay.

I can't tell you apart.

Yes!

Seriously, though,

which one's real?

Me.

Stay inside and

don't make a sound.

I'll be right back.

Come on.

You look so good. I can't

even tell the difference.

I can't even tell

the difference.

I know.

Who knew yogurt is just

as yummy as butter,

and half the cholesterol?

It's perfect.

Let me get that for you.

Thanks so much.

Well, I'm going to

turn in for the night.

All right. But first,

get over here, kiddo.

Good night.

What the?

Hi. We should probably talk.

And for my next trick,

think of a number.

Wait.

Okay, got it!

Yes, yes, yes.

I don't know how much

longer we can stall.

Where is Candidate Sols?

I'm sure he'll be

here momentarily.

I sense the number is

-seven.

-What?

-She's right.

-Enough!

Where is my son?

He's here. He's right here.

Daddy.

-He did not abandon us.

-He's here!

Thank the stars.

Lord Grigon, we return

to you Prince Glordon.

My son. Did he harm you?

Nope. Everyone was super nice.

Are you prepared to become the

greatest w*r machine in the universe?

To make your enemies

tremble at the sight of you?

To prove the might of the...

Yep! Let's do it!

Actually, I had more to say,

but, yes, let us get on with it.

Oh, yeah.

Witness the power of Hylurg.

Witness!

-What a good show.

-Very impressive.

That's right.

As you have kept your word,

I will keep mine and leave

this place never to return.

Hylurgians, fall back.

Candidate Sols, you did it!

Well done.

What an exceptional specimen.

You good, son?

Oh, yeah. I can't wait

to make endless w*r

and pillage the unworthy

and bring eternal night...

May I have the honor of

joining the Communiverse?

The honor would be

ours, Candidate Sols.

Or should I say,

Ambassador Sols.

You're one of us now.

-I like you.

-Welcome!

It was a clone.

Where is my son?

But...

How could you tell?

A father always knows.

You, read his mind.

Find the truth.

No.

Unhand me!

I'm so sorry.

No.

No.

No, no, no, please. No!

What? What did you see?

Your son is in a diplomatic

ship in the docking bay.

Send the troops!

Oh, more pudding, Elio?

Why, thank you, Glordon!

Elio?

You have selected a

map of our coordinates.

Neck pillow. Lip

balm. A breath mint.

Destination?

Uh, Earth.

Confirm or cancel?

What? Confirm?

Ooooo, open a portal to Earth.

What are you doing?

Will you tell them, or must I?

Please don't.

He is not the leader of Earth.

-What?

-He is not the leader of anything.

He is just

a child.

-What?

-Oh, no.

-I do not understand.

-No.

She's wrong.

I am the leader of Earth.

I can still help!

Just please, please let me stay.

He is not there!

-What?

-But I saw him!

We are as surprised as you.

Arrest them all! The Communiverse

is now under Hylurgian control.

Don't touch me.

We can sort this out!

It's his fault, not ours!

Liar! Betrayer! Coward!

Leave! Now!

I'm so sorry.

You've done enough!

No!

Tear this place apart

until you find my son!

No.

Don't leave me.

Please.

Oh, I'll take that.

Thanks, kiddo.

sh**t. I left the... That...

-I know what it is. Be right back.

-Thank you.

You couldn't find it, huh?

Would you toss me those?

Come on!

Stupid flashlight!

Sorry.

Are you okay?

No. I feel crazy!

I'm on the beach trying to make

contact with I don't know what.

I just...

feel so...

alone.

You wouldn't understand.

Actually,

I do.

I didn't think you'd miss me.

I missed you.

I've missed

everything about you.

But this isn't the

life you wanted.

The only thing I want

is you.

Ta Olga!

Oh, hey, you're back!

Something's going

on at the base.

Wait. That's my spaceship.

-Glordon's in there!

-Who?

My friend.

-You made a friend?

-Nice.

Yeah, and he needs our help.

You have clearance, right?

Not for this.

There's got to be some

way to get in there.

Okay, okay. Let me think.

Well, if you don't need me anymore, I

will begin my decomposition process.

Feel free to spread me over a

plant as nutritious fertilizer.

Wait!

They mention what it is?

Negative. But AARO's here

and NASA's on the way.

Is it extraterrestrial?

What, like little green men? Don't

tell me you believe in that stuff.

Who's there?

It's a kid.

Hey, you shouldn't be here.

Can you help me?

I don't feel so good.

Get it off me!

Get it off me!

It's in my mouth!

Why is it sour?

It's on me too!

Help! Help!

Thank you for your service.

Glordon!

Is that your friend?

Elio?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Why didn't you stay

where I told you?

I'm sorry.

I accidentally

turned on the ship.

Glordon? Glordon.

-Is he sick?

-His disc is broken.

It's too cold for him here!

Hey!

Put your hands up! Back

away from the specimen.

I said, back away! Now!

You learned Elioese?

Hey, what are you saying?

-Oh, you mean "glp."

-Stop that!

g*n it!

Oh, my gosh.

This is so...

Oh, my gosh.

Hold on, Glordon.

Olga, you got to drive!

-But how?

-Please!

Welcome, guest pilot!

Give me your jacket.

I'm so sorry, Glordon.

This is all my fault.

Don't worry.

I'm going to get you home.

Ship, get us to

the Communiverse.

Hyper-speed unavailable,

path blocked.

What? It's totally clear.

I said, "Hyper-speed

unavailable, path blocked."

Oh, come on!

What?

We're in a debris field.

-Let's just get out of here.

-No!

-These objects are faster than b*ll*ts.

-But this is what you do.

From the ground.

I don't know where the

debris's coming from.

I need altitudes, velocity...

If I could just contact

someone on the ground.

But the base is on lockdown.

Maybe someone with a

Ham radio. I don't know!

Elio?

Bro, I bet that UFO was real.

What if they're here for food and

the only thing they eat are hamsters?

I'm fine with that.

PXLOL, please respond.

PXLOL, come in!

Hello? This is PXLOL.

Bryce!

This is Elio.

Sols?

I'm sorry about what happened.

Caleb can be a real

butt sometimes.

It's okay, I was a butt too.

Look, you might not believe this, but

we're in an alien ship that just...

That's you? Aw, man! There's a

lot of radio chatter about that.

Yeah, that's us. We're

trying to fly through debris,

but we need to know

where it's coming...

How's your math? Physics?

Are you good at physics?

Bryce, I really need your help.

Please.

I don't know anything

about debris,

but I know someone who does.

He's a legend in my radio group.

The boss. The eyes

in the sky. He's...

Melmac reporting for duty!

I'll take it from here, PXLOL!

Elio, you better come

back in one piece, okay?

I'll tell you all about it.

Thank you, Melmac,

I owe you a huge...

Never mind that, Major.

A Master of Ham

always helps in a jam.

Let's get you through

this debris field.

I'm pulling up the

network now. Get ready.

We need a fixed target.

Orion's belt.

Perfect. Drive

straight toward it,

-and be ready to dodge.

-Okay.

Ship, can you project a grid?

Okay. Melmac, anything out there!

Hurry, before we're out of range!

Okay. Large rocket body!

Altitude, 407 kilometers,

velocity, 7.66.

Got it.

There.

Where? I don't see it!

Just pull back. Now!

Another one! 788

kilometers, velocity, 7.46.

-Climb fast! Now!

-Roger!

We are going ham.

You're doing great.

Melmac, keep them coming.

Major, you're leaving the com

window. Just stay on this frequency.

Stay... Frequency...

Melmac? Melmac?

Shields at 80%.

Glordon.

Is anyone there?

Please, anyone? Mayday!

Mayday! Come in. Come in!

Shields at 60%.

Shields at 41%.

Shields at 23%.

Mayday! Mayday!

Come in. Come in!

-Hello?

-Shields at 16%.

Is anyone out there?

Can anyone hear us?

...Senegal.

Bonjour. This is Masters

of Ham in Senegal.

Yes, yes. We read you.

Large debris at 1,300

kilometers, velocity, 7.2.

Pull back! Hard!

Thank you. Thank you.

Masters of Ham at your service.

This is Giulia from Italia.

This is awesome!

-2224, velocity 6.81.

-Right.

This is Anoush in Armenia.

-Velocity, 6.75.

-Right!

Namaste.

-This is Vikram from Mumbai.

-Climb!

Debris at 2,753,

-velocity, 6.61.

-Left!

-This is Hoang in Vietnam.

-...velocity, 6...

Konnichiwa from Japan.

-You can do this!

-You're going to be okay.

-You're not alone.

-Hey, come on, buddy!

-Go, go, go!

-Come on, kid!

-Keep going!

-You're almost there!

There's one more

piece! Move, move!

-Which way?

-I don't know.

Path cleared.

Glordon?

Engaging hyper-speed.

Help us. Please.

-Elio.

-Glordon. No!

Get off me!

Glordon.

Glordon, wake up.

No.

I can't lose you too.

No!

Explain yourselves.

I can't.

Just tell him.

He loves you.

Look how much he

wanted you back.

I don't want to

be a w*r machine.

You already know?

Yes.

I may not always understand you,

but I still love you.

It's a loose swaddle. I do

not have your mother's touch.

You did great.

I have never uttered

these words before,

but I am sorry.

Release them all.

Congratulations,

Ambassador Sols!

But I lied to you!

And then you sacrificed

yourself to save another.

You behaved as admirably as

any real planetary leader.

And you did bring peace.

Eventually.

You have earned your place here.

I could stay?

Yes, yes, yes!

Excellent.

We can hang out every day.

This place is amazing,

but Earth is...

home.

I didn't give it a chance

but now,

I want to try.

With you.

Are you sure?

We're family.

This isn't goodbye.

It's just not yet.

We understand.

You are unique, Elio of Earth,

and "unique" can sometimes

feel like "alone."

But you are not alone.

Okay.

Bye.

I love you.

Okay. Bye. I love you.

Okay. Bye. I love you.

Okay. Bye. I love you.

Okay. Bye. I love you.

I love you, too.

Let's go home.

It's an ancient human theme.

You can find it in

virtually every culture.

In religion, folklore,

superstition, and, now, in science.

The search for life elsewhere

is remarkable in our age

because this is the first time that we can

actually do something besides speculation.

We can send spacecraft

to nearby planets.

We can use large radio

telescopes to see

if there is any message

being sent to us lately.

And it touches to the

deepest of human concerns.

Are we alone?

Glordon, your disc is muted.

Oops, sorry.

Now, tell me everything.