12x21 - Make America Healthy Again

[bunniefuu]

Welcome to "Last Week Tonight".

I'm John Oliver, thank you for
joining us. It has been a busy week.

California Democrats unveiled
their new congressional map,

Air Canada flight attendants
went on strike,

and Trump flew to Alaska to talk
to Putin about Ukraine

for less than three hours,

after which they held a press
conference that went so badly

even this Fox News reporter
couldn't put a positive spin on it.

The way that it felt in the room
was not… not good.

It did not seem
like things went well.

And it seemed like Putin
came in and steamrolled,

got right into
what he wanted to say,

and got his photo next to the president
and then left.

Yeah, not great.
And while the White House

later released
this black and white photo

of Trump looking tough
while talking to Putin,

it does seem like the vibe was more
accurately summed up by this AP photo

of Putin looking confident

and Trump looking like that room
temperature shrimp is coming back up.

Meanwhile, back in D.C.,
this story dominated the week.

For the first time
in American history,

the president seizing control
of the police in the nation's capital

and deploying hundreds
of National Guardsmen.

Trump says, to fight crime
on the streets of Washington, D.C.

I'm announcing a historic action

to rescue our nation's capital
from crime, bloodshed,

bedlam and squalor,
and worse.

Yeah. And worse.
And it is true,

Trump has taken over
D.C.'s police department

and deployed
the National Guard,

as well as pulling in agents
from the FBI, DEA,

Homeland Security, and others,
who've flooded the city,

at one point
marching through Georgetown,

where one guy exited a bar
with a real look of,

"sh*t, I am not dressed
for a military invasion right now."

And all the while, Republicans have
tried to justify this move

by talking about what
a crime-ridden hellhole D.C. is.

D.C. is not safe. People
don't just walk the streets in D.C.

and feel safe
anywhere around D.C.

I drive around in Washington, D.C.
in my Jeep, and yes, I do drive myself.

And I don't buckle up.
The reason why I don't buckle up,

and people can say
whatever they want to,

they can raise their eyebrows at me
again, is because of carjacking.

You don't want to go out on the streets
at night in Washington, D.C.

I come from a family
of public educators,

that's one of the reasons
I live in my office at night.

But the other reason was,
it's too dadgum dangerous, brother.

Okay, I have a lot of questions,
but my main one is,

why is coming from
a family of public educators

a reason to sleep
in your office at night?

It's like saying, "I come from
a family of gastroenterologists,"

"that's why I sleep in an
abandoned Ferris wheel."

Is that why?
And I should note:

Burchett also told
reporters in February

that he "sleeps in his office
because it helps him stay productive"

"and get to meetings early."

All of which feel like excuses for
something else going on in his life.

'Cause why are you sleeping
in your office, Tim?

Is it crime, is it productivity,

or is it that things
aren't great at home right now,

and your wife threw all your
dadgum stuff onto the curb?

And while
it is neither here nor there,

I can't not mention
that a few weeks ago,

Burchett announced
he had broken his rib

after getting kicked by his horse,

an incident that he later
described like this.

That dadgum horse caught me
right there with the hoof

and lifted me off the ground.

I don't have a tattoo,
but I think it would be cool

to have that horseshoe print right
there. That would be kind of cool.

Yeah, would it, though?

'Cause that feels like a bad
choice of tattoo for many reasons,

including that every morning
you'd go into the bathroom,

look in the mirror, and see
a permanently inked reminder

that your own horse hates you.

And by "bathroom", I of course
mean the public restroom

in your congressional office building

where you sleep every night
for an evolving set of reasons.

Violent crime clearly exists in D.C.,
like it does anywhere else.

But you should know,

while Trump talks of "bloodshed,
bedlam, squalor, and worse",

homicides in D.C. were
actually down 32% last year,

and are down
another 11% this year,

on top of which, the city's
official violent crime rate in 2024

was the second lowest
reported since 1966.

But obviously, crime stats
don't matter to this administration.

This is all about a show of power,
just like it was in June

when Trump deployed
the National Guard to L.A.

on similarly flimsy pretenses.

And he's already warning
he may do the same

in New York, Baltimore,
Chicago, and Oakland.

And while there've been scary images
of police harassing citizens in D.C.,

there've also been
some truly pathetic videos

illustrating how stupid
this whole exercise is,

with maybe the purest expression
being this cringe-inducing encounter

where a group of agents
approach a man

they mistakenly think is smoking
marijuana on his back porch,

which, by the way,
is completely legal in D.C.

Did y'all get a call
or something about right here?

No, we're doing checks, keeping
everybody safe down here, right?

Have you heard of the federal surge
that Donald Trump's putting out?

No.

You don't follow code three, anything
like that, that people are putting up?

Trump's got all federal
agencies kind of coming together,

seven days, going out…

I'm familiar with it.

…trying to stop the violent crime,
all kind of stuff.

So, just know, right,
tell your boys everybody's out,

from FBI to police.

So, do your thing, let 'em know,
don't be smoking outside,

don't be drinking outside, 'cause
Donald Trump's tired of it.

Look, that is all
alarming and annoying,

but I do love that guy's
"Did you all get a call or something?"

'cause it might be
the politest version

of "what the f*ck are you dorks doing
on my property?" I've ever heard.

There must be nothing
more deflating for those agents

than to show up somewhere
all puffed up and ready for action

just to have someone calmly ask
basically, "Are you little boys lost?"

Who knows where things will be
by the time you watch this?

D.C.'s currently suing over Trump's
move to take over their police force,

winning a narrow victory on Friday.

And even if Trump
wins the broader case,

the takeover would be limited
by law to just 30 days,

unless Congress votes to extend it,
which Democratic leaders,

in both chambers,
have said they'll refuse to do.

Chuck Schumer even said there's
"no f*cking way" he'll allow it,

language I don't think
the Baileys would approve of.

And some Republicans,
like Senator John Kennedy,

seem to think
that they can capitalize on that

to make Democrats seem soft
on crime.

Mainstream Democrats have now
come out firmly and passionately

in favor of crime
in Washington D.C.

Chuck and Hakeem
need to go to Amazon,

buy some testicles, and stand up
to the loon wing of their party.

I don't know
which part is worse there:

telling someone
to buy a pair of testicles

or telling them
to do so on Amazon,

rather than from mom-and-pop testicle
stores that are struggling right now.

What I do know

is that every time Kennedy
so much as hints at genitalia,

I'm contractually obliged
to show you this.

I can't wait to have your c*ck
in my mouth.

It is perfect!
It is the perfect clip!

We have shown you that clip
on this show six times now,

and I promise,
you will be seeing it again.

But to Kennedy's larger point,

it is a little hard to take
"grow a set of ba*ls"

from a party whose members are all
too eager to run in front of cameras

and talk about how they're too scared
to wear seatbelts or go outside.

It is painfully clear

that Trump is doing this to boost
his tough-guy image with his base,

but that is gonna be a challenge.

It is a tough sell for the man who was
friends with a child sex trafficker,

brought about this mess,

and on Friday got steamrolled
by a bloodthirsty warlord,

to convince Americans
that he is keeping them safe,

when I would argue,

if anyone is making things too dadgum
dangerous in this country,

it's probably
f*cking him right now.

And now, this.

And Now: More of Senator
John Kennedy's Keen Political Analysis.

They wouldn't know transparency
if it jumped up and yodeled

and bit 'em in the butt.

I said one time, my car doesn't run
off of fairy dust and unicorn urine.

Wasteful government spending,
which I call spending porn.

There's an old saying: exercise
makes you look better naked,

but so does alcohol.

Taking their advice

it's like taking the advice
of a nun about sex.

But why don't we skip the foreplay
and go right to the sex?

I trust Qatar like I trust
a rest stop bathroom.

If they want to be friendly,
I want to be friendly back.

Moving on. Our main story
tonight concerns health.

It's something a lot of people
are shocked to learn I have,

along with Peabody awards,
a viola I can actually play,

and Eleanor Roosevelt's bones.

Specifically, it concerns
the MAHA movement,

which stands for
"Make America Healthy Again".

It's most closely associated
with RFK Jr.,

who opened a video about it
last fall like this.

Hey, everyone.
I'm here today to tell you

how we can make America
healthy again.

And the first thing you need
to do is to get one of these hats.

Yeah, although you also don't
actually need to do that at all.

You really don't have to do
anything that guy does,

up to and including swim
in a sewage-tainted creek,

hike in jeans in 100-degree weather,

and singlehandedly make Google
searches for "bear carcass" skyrocket.

The MAHA movement
is a broad coalition of people

with a wide array
of concerns about health.

And for many in it, RFK's ascent
has been seen as a great thing,

as has the fact that he's using his
position to release videos like this.

This is a list of ingredients
from foods: carrageenan,

riboflavin, monosodium glutamate,
and 20 others that I can't pronounce.

Sodium stearoyl lactylate.

I think you're getting the picture
that you can't pronounce this stuff.

Disodium guanylate,
titanium dioxide.

Polysorbate 80, BHT, TBHQ.

If you are an American company
poisoning us with ingredients

you don't use in other countries,
we're coming for you.

Okay, so first, riboflavin is just
vitamin B2, but sure.

Second, I'd love for the Secretary
of Education to be able to read,

just a personal preference.

Finally, as long as we're blacklisting
foods based on bad names,

I've got some suggestions,
starting with kumquat,

a word that starts with "kum"
and gets worse from there.

Now, some of the non-administration
figures in that video

are MAHA moms and influencers,

who've played a big role
in spreading this movement.

Some have even been invited
to the White House,

like this influencer, back in May.

So, I am in D.C.
for the big announcement

of the MAHA chronic disease report,

and I've been podcasting,
I've podcasted with Bobby Kennedy.

Everybody's in this room podcasting.
I've got a raw milk smoothie in here

that is raw milk, blueberries, honey
and some raw meat, actually.

I got some cherries, blueberries,

apple, and that is my lunch
in the White House.

So, I'm eating raw milk, raw meat,
grass-fed beef in the White House.

Yeah, that is what the White House
is up to these days:

hosting podcast symposiums

for influencers to eat
like regionally powerful cavemen.

That guy even got RFK
to do a raw milk shot on camera,

making raw milk
one of the most disgusting things

floating around in RFK
at any given time,

right up there with
that dead worm in his brain.

But obviously, the MAHA movement
is about a lot more

than just hats, selfies, slogans
and guzzling raw liquified beef.

It is a big tent,

and not all its supporters
are necessarily Republicans.

Prepping for after-school snack time
at Sarah Cho's house

starts long before
her children get home.

Every ingredient in this
is organic.

The mother of three is strict about
what goes into her pantry and her kids,

avoiding artificial
and processed ingredients.

She's part of the MAHA movement.

Cho is a Democrat.
She lives in New Jersey.

It's not a political issue.
It's an issue of,

do you want your kids
to get the best food or not?

Do you want your kid to have
the best environment to live in?

Look, I admire her commitment
to serving only organic food,

but the day her kids get given
a Gusher by a neighborhood kid,

their lives are going
to change forever.

But I do get it, ultimately,
everyone wants their kids

to have the same set of things:
good food, a good environment

and zero desire to own spiders.

You just want them to be safe,
nurtured, and you also want,

maybe a little bit more,
a guarantee that at no point

will there be any tarantulas
in or around your house.

Those are the things
every parent prays for,

both to regular God

and whatever ancient spider god
pertains to the second thing.

And happiness.
You want them to be happy as well,

if there's time.

Point is, people have found themselves
in MAHA for all sorts of reasons.

And there are areas where this
movement has legitimate concerns.

We've done plenty of episodes

dealing with topics that overlap
with the MAHA agenda.

And experts agree that there are
times when RFK and this movement

are pointing out real problems.

For instance, one of the central
claims he's made

is that American kids are getting
sicker, which is largely correct.

A major study published
last month in JAMA found,

among other things,
there's a growing mortality gap

between the U.S.
and other developed countries,

and that an American child
was 15 to 20% more likely

to have a chronic health condition
in 2023 than in 2011.

So, for some, especially
experts in diet and nutrition,

seeing MAHA movement bring attention
to issues they're passionate about

has been validating,
if also bittersweet.

Here is Dr. Marion Nestle,

"one of the country's foremost
experts on nutrition policy",

summing that up.

To hear RFK Jr. talk about the need to
do something about chronic diseases,

it's the first time I've heard anybody
at that level of government

talk about these things,
and he sounds just like me.

I can't get over it.
And it's hard to put that together

with some of the other
things he's saying.

Right! It is bizarre to have
someone you virulently disagree with,

in most respects,
echo your opinions in another.

It'd be like if Kim Jong Un
came out and said,

"Wirecutter
has too many articles now,"

"and if you're looking at Wirecutter
for, like, ketchup,"

"you need to re-assess
how you make decisions."

It'd be weird. I mean,
I would agree with him,

but that would be weird.

But unfortunately, "some of
the other things RFK is saying"

could now have massive consequences,
given the position that he's in.

Because even when he
and his movement can be right

about identifying a problem,
their solutions can range

from the superficial
to the outright dangerous.

So given that, tonight, let's check in
on the MAHA movement,

and do a few things: look at what
it has and hasn't accomplished so far,

meet two key people
at the top of it,

and examine where,
if we are not very careful,

we could be heading next.

And let's start with the fact

that some of MAHA's "big wins"
so far have been wildly oversold.

For instance,
Coke recently announced

that it'd start selling
drinks made with cane sugar,

and when Steak 'n Shake announced

it'd offer Coke with that
instead of corn syrup,

RFK retweeted their post with,
"MAHA is winning",

despite Marion Nestle referring to
Coke's news: "nutritionally hilarious".

He's also made a big deal out
of getting rid of synthetic food dyes,

something prominent MAHA influencers
testified about at a Senate roundtable.

Many of the things discussed today,
I think there is a nuanced debate,

but with artificial food dyes,
they have shown all over the world

that they can use colorants
that come from fruit.

This is the Canadian version.

This is the brightness of the Canadian
version, just for visibility,

and this is the brightness
of artificial food dyes.

So, of course, Kellogg and other
food companies will argue

children prefer this over this,

just as they would prefer
cocaine over sugar.

Okay, first, I don't think kids
like cocaine more than sugar.

I don't even think
you could get a kid to do cocaine

unless you told them
it was sugar.

If what you're concerned about
is kids liking cocaine,

the food you need to focus
your attention on is Pixy Stix,

a candy that seems to be
explicitly designed to teach them

how to do a line
in the bathroom.

I mean, it comes in a straw.
And the theatrical gasp there,

when the colorful Froot Loops
are revealed, is a bit over the top.

Guys, they're called Froot,
with two O's, Loops

and their mascot's
a rainbow-nosed toucan.

Let's not get too shocked
that the colors aren't natural.

Now, I should say,
there is literature to support

that synthetic food dyes can impact
neurobehavior in some children.

And given that there is
no real need to keep them,

why not take them out of foods?
Totally fine.

And when the U.S. dairy industry

agreed to voluntarily remove
synthetic dyes from ice cream,

RFK touted it
as "another MAHA win".

Though, you should know,
experts have said small moves like that

won't actually move the needle
when it comes to Americans' health.

Which does make sense,
because removing dyes

doesn't address the fundamental
issue with ice cream,

which is that it is ice cream,

a product with generally
high sugar and fat content,

not to mention
the other issues it presents,

like the awkward conversation
every parent's forced to have

the first time their child asks
to know the meaning

behind
Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra.

Son, when two people truly love but
have grown quite tired of each other,

they can rediscover
an emotional spark

deep in the raw power
of prolonged mutual orgasm.

It was something I was kind of planning
on never having to explain to you,

but the ice cream boys couldn't think
of another pun on the word 'caramel',

so here we are.

But making a big deal
out of narrow wins

is part and parcel
of this movement.

Take the woman you saw in that
roundtable, Vani Hari,

she was also in that White House
video accusing companies

of poisoning kids
with their ingredients.

Hari is a food blogger and author
who goes by "The Food Babe"

and is an influential figure
in the MAHA movement,

and one of her specialties
is zeroing in

on a single, scary-sounding
ingredient in common foods

and pressuring companies to remove
them. Here is one of her early hits.

Hi there! I'm the Food Babe!

I love yoga. It is so amazing for
your body and stress and well-being,

but it really does make me
really hungry.

Wake up, people.

Take a look at the ingredients
in Subway's nine-grain bread.

Did you know that one of them

is the same ingredients
found in yoga mat?

Yeah, she made a video calling out
Subway for serving shitty food,

something, again, we also did,
albeit over the course of 21 minutes

and culminating in a Korean soap opera
about love, betrayal and meatballs.

But the point is, in the end,
Subway announced

it was in the process of removing
that particular ingredient.

Which, again, I am not against,
but let's try and keep that win

in some perspective here,
because Subway is still Subway.

It's a place where all the food
is somehow wet,

it sells cookies by the foot,

and it fully had a pedophile
as a spokesman for years,

and yet their food is still so bad,

it's not even the first thing
that people criticize.

But critics have long argued

that some of Hari's alerts
about food are overblown,

something she's responded to
by saying,

"I've never claimed to be
a nutritionist. I'm an investigator."

But those investigations
have sometimes led to her

going to some deeply
unscientific conclusions,

like in a deleted post that she says
"wasn't her most impressive work"

where she cautioned
against using microwaves

by referencing an experiment
in which

"microwaved water produced
a similar physical structure"

"to when the words 'Satan' and 'Hitler'
were repeatedly exposed to the water."

Which is clearly ridiculous,

because it implies, one,
that water can read,

two, that it doesn't like
being microwaved,

and perhaps most importantly,
that it not only knows who Hitler is

and what he did,
but it did nothing to stop him!

What is more, like many influencers,
Hari has her own product line,

meaning that sometimes, her warnings
about particular ingredients

can take a more self-serving turn,
like in this video,

warning about Chick-fil-A's
frozen lemonade.

All of this sugar leads to weight gain
and serious health conditions

such as heart disease
and Type 2 diabetes.

It's thickened up
with several nasty emulsifiers

like carrageenan, that's known to be
contaminated with carcinogens,

and mono and diglycerides
that contain trans fats.

Save yourself from this madness and
try our new frosted lemonade recipe

made with Truvani's
lemon cookie protein.

Yeah, that seems
a little bit compromised.

And for what it's worth,
she actually shows you

how to make her recipe in that video
and it looks absolutely disgusting.

It honestly looks like
she just showed it Hitler.

And you might be thinking,
who cares if some of MAHA's boosters

can be wobbly on the science
or are hawking products,

just so long as RFK's putting
reliable people in charge at the top.

But I'd argue, he isn't.
Which brings us to two key people:

the brother-and-sister duo
of Calley and Casey Means.

Calley is a top adviser to RFK,
which makes sense,

given, as he will tell you,

he's the one who convinced Kennedy
to join the winning campaign.

I was in a sweat tent with him
in Austin at a campaign event

six months before,
and I just had this strong vision

of him standing with Trump.

And how what RFK represents
is actually what Trump represents,

and actually what almost
every American's feeling,

which is this frustration,
and this rigged thing

that doesn't quite feel right, that
you can't quite put your finger on.

Okay,
I hope this goes without saying,

but I would rather be
anywhere on Earth

than in a sweat tent with RFK.

I'd rather be in a dumpster
full of glass and c*ck.

I'd rather be in a flight where
half the passengers are babies

and half are Mel Gibsons.

I'd rather be in Scottsdale.
Scottsdale.

Calley Means is constantly claiming

the whole system surrounding
health and food is rigged.

And one of his key bona fides
in arguing that

is that he used to be involved
in rigging it.

He's said that he "was
a lobbyist and consultant",

and that "one of my big accounts
was American Beverage Association,"

"which is the front group for Coke."
Here is what he says he did there.

Working for Coke, I helped steer
money to the American…

- Coca-Cola.
- Yeah, working for Coca-Cola.

They actually pay money to
the American Diabetes Association.

They actually pay money to
the American Academy of Pediatrics.

If there's one thing
the American Diabetes Association,

which sets the standard of care
for diabetes management,

they should be doing,
they should be saying,

"We're not gonna accept
money from Coke."

I am not gonna sit here and argue
that Coca-Cola is a good company.

They are absolutely terrible,
to the point that if I told you

they had a section on their
Wikipedia page titled

"Colombian death-squad allegations",
you might even believe me,

which is good,
because they actually do.

But people who've looked
into Calley's origin story

have come away with some
let's call them "questions".

For starters, when reporters reached out
to the two firms where he worked,

each insisted they didn't represent
Coke, or its trade group at the time.

Now, Calley insisted to us
that he did do this work,

though not directly for
Coke or the trade group,

but for an unspecified coalition that
they funded, and that he didn't name.

Which, as you'll note,
is already much less specific

than what he confidently
blew Tucker's mind with there.

And for what it is worth,
former colleagues of his

have no idea what he's talking about,
with one saying,

"Maybe there was a six-month
window when we all blacked out,"

"this client came in, and Calley became
the whisperer behind the scenes,"

"plotting a supposedly nefarious
role with soda executives."

But one thing
they definitely do remember

is that Calley Means apparently
used to walk around the office saying,

"Calley Means business."

And I probably could've
saved us a whole lot of time

if I'd just said that at the start.

I wouldn't have needed to show you
the Tucker appearance

or even the RFK sweat tent detail,
if I'd just said,

this is Calley Means, and he apparently
used to walk around

saying, "Calley Means business",
you would know all you need to know

to accurately conclude:
he is a d*uche!

Now, as for his sister, Casey,
she has an MD

and is now RFK's choice to serve
as surgeon general.

And she, too, is deeply steeped
in the MAHA world.

Here she is on
the "Grounded Wellness" podcast,

enjoying a totally normal snack.

I'm so excited to be here
on your beautiful farm!

My gosh, I know, and we're drinking
liver smoothies,

it's the first time you've
ever tried a liver smoothie,

and you're like,
almost done with it.

I'm so glad.

It's really good.

No, it isn't.

Look, I think we, as a society,
have collectively lost our grasp

on what smoothies
are supposed to be.

'Cause there should not be
meat in there,

as that is definitionally
no longer a smoothie.

It is hospital food
for a terminally ill hyena.

Now, like her brother, Casey
also has an eye-catching backstory,

it concerns how she was disillusioned
with the medical establishment,

because, in her telling,
while studying to become a doctor,

she got frustrated she wasn't learning
more about the root causes of illness,

so, quote, "I walked into the office
of the chair of the department,"

"and I put down
the scalpel, and I walked away."

And not for nothing,
is that how doctors quit?

It kind of makes sense for cops
to hand in their badge and g*n,

but I'd always assumed that
if a doctor wanted to quit,

they'd walk into their boss's office,
put a still beating heart on the desk

and say,
"I forgot where this goes."

But obviously,
that is a compelling story

and it's a big part of the book
she co-wrote with her brother,

"Good Energy."

In it, they tell the tragic story

of how their mother died
of pancreatic cancer

and say that "she was let down
by the siloed medical system,"

"which saw every health issue
she faced as an isolated incident."

And look, losing a parent
is a terrible thing to go through.

And being let down
by the medical system

is something virtually everybody
can identify with.

The thing is, the Meanses' book wraps
that story into a much larger narrative,

about the importance
of maintaining metabolic health,

or, as the book calls it,
"Good Energy," capitalized.

And I'm not saying metabolic health
isn't a real thing

or that it isn't important,
but the Meanses take it much further.

Just listen to Calley making a huge
claim about the root cause of diseases.

We are being lied to that cancer
is random, that dementia is random,

that kidney disease is random,

that all these issues that are
k*lling us are random. They're not.

They're all exploding, and they're
all tied essentially to food.

Right. Apparently,
they're all tied to food.

And according to the Meanses' book,

food is a massive part
of maintaining "Good Energy".

It actually contains a long list
of processed foods,

which they say should be avoided "as
strongly as if they were illicit drugs"

which includes instant oatmeal,
granola bars, crackers, packaged bread,

canned soup and flavored yogurt.

And look, I am not a scientist,
despite my glasses

and the many hours I spend doing
surgical procedures on mice,

but I don't think
it's quite that simple.

Most medical experts will tell you:
it's not that health outcomes

can't be impacted
by personal behaviors or diet.

But health is complex,
and its components are personal,

genetic, environmental
and systemic.

On top of which, sometimes,
and this is a technical term,

sh*t just happens,
and it's out of your control.

And while the book
mentions other factors,

its relentless focus on metabolic
health suggests

that if you can simply maintain
"Good Energy",

not only can you "enjoy natural state
of fertility that is your birthright",

but "you can live relieved of
the nagging anxiety"

"that precipitous physical
or mental decline awaits you"

"or that you'll develop a disease
that 'runs in the family.'"

But it is hard not to read that
and feel like,

if you're having trouble conceiving,
or if you develop a genetic condition,

it's somehow your fault.

And for what it's worth,

for all the Meanses' abundance
of caution around processed foods,

there are other areas
where they are worryingly lax.

Casey doesn't seem to favor
restrictions on selling raw milk,

saying, "I want to be free to form
a relationship with a local farmer,"

"understand his integrity,
look him in the eyes, pet his cow,"

"and then decide if I feel safe
to drink the milk from his farm."

Which, traditionally, is not how
you decide if milk is safe to drink,

it's how you decide if you want
to f*ck a dairy farmer.

And it's worth noting,

raw milk can carry dangerous
pathogens such as salmonella,

E. coli, and listeria, and is currently
at the center of an outbreak in Florida

that's sickened 21 people, including
six children under the age of 10.

And Casey's also shared some pretty
concerning takes on vaccines,

when she appeared with her brother
on Joe Rogan's podcast and said this.

It's like with vaccines. I bet that one
vaccine probably isn't causing autism.

But what about the 20 that
they're getting before 18 months?

Like, we don't look
at it in synergistic.

You know, and so,
that's a big problem.

Yeah, that's not great!
In fact, I will go so far as to say

that that is the most obviously
horseshit thing Casey Means has said

since claiming that that smoothie
was "mm, really good"

on the meat-juice farmcast

hosted by what appears to be
Pinterest's final boss.

That feels really dangerous,
as does the fact that her brother,

on that same podcast, said,
"Covid was a foodborne illness"

and "If you were metabolically healthy,
you did not die of Covid."

Which, I hope you know,
is just not true.

So, that is worrying.
And it's worth noting

that while the Meanses correctly
identify conflicts of interest

in medicine and public health
as a real concern,

it is not like they are without
potential conflicts of their own.

Not only does Casey's newsletter
have sponsors from supplements

and products
tied to the wellness industry,

she also co-founded
a company called Levels.

This is her photo, prominently
featured on the website today.

They "promote glucose monitoring
for nondiabetic, healthy individuals"

despite the fact research has found
little evidence

such monitoring provides health
benefits for people without diabetes.

And while it's been reported
that she's left the company,

all of this has raised questions
about whether Levels could benefit

from this administration's
health guidance and policies.

Because, if, say, the government
started to push those monitors,

and Means did not fully divest,
she would stand to benefit.

And you'll never guess what.
RFK, despite spending years

warning his followers that wearable
devices like glucose monitors

were part of a sinister plan
to surveil and control Americans,

recently went before Congress
to say this.

We're about to launch

one of the biggest advertising
campaigns in HHS history

to encourage
Americans to use wearables.

My vision is that every American is
wearing a wearable within four years.

I've personally had friends
who've utterly changed their lives

just from wearing
a glucose meter.

And they've lost weight,
they've lost their diabetes diagnoses.

And you see this happen
again and again.

He's basically doing a product shill
to Congress there.

And at that point, he may as well
just go full QVC

and offer to pair each glucose meter
with a free aroma diffuser

if you call
in the next 10 minutes.

And look, it would be one thing
if these two were just private citizens

hawking books and products
to a willing customer base.

But Calley is a top adviser at HHS
and, it bears repeating,

Casey is poised to become
the next surgeon general.

And they seem ready to place
their understanding of health,

which can be heavily
and sometimes callously centered

on emphasizing
individual responsibility

onto our public health system
as a whole. Which is a real concern.

Just listen to Calley on CSPAN
earlier this year.

He mentioned
how every American is capable

of improving their health outcomes
just by eating less processed food,

and a pretty basic follow-up question
from a caller set him off.

You mentioned
about whole food.

Well, explain to me then, how are
people who are in food deserts

going to be able
to get whole foods?

How are they going to be able to get
fresh vegetables at some local shop

somewhere that's selling cigarettes,
beer and fast food?

All right, Judy.

Just to confirm, your question is

how can lower-income Americans
possibly not poison their kids?

Is that your question?

Well, her question
was about food deserts…

Her question is a nihilistic question.

Her question
is what the left is saying.

Her question is,

how can lower-income Americans
possibly not poison their children?

Well, ma'am, I think American mothers
don't want to be poisoning their kids.

I think Americans don't want
to be poisoning themselves.

Okay, first, that was the most rancid
delivery of "ma'am"

I think I've ever heard.

And second, she's asking
a legitimate question there

about where people are supposed
to get fresh vegetables.

It's not like she did something
truly inflammatory, like, I dunno,

point out that Calley's wife and
his sister look strikingly alike.

That would be worth
really freaking out about.

But the thing is, Calley wasn't done
and the more he talked,

the clearer it became that there is
a lot about how our food system works

that he doesn't seem
to fully understand.

The reason there are food deserts

is because the fourth largest
entitlement program in the country

is rigged through tens of millions
of dollars of lobbying spending

by our food companies to be totally
going to addictive ultra-processed food

like soda and Twinkies.

That is what the 150 billion dollars
annually of our SNAP program does.

So, I will give you a little secret.
If President Trump and Bobby Kennedy

are able to take soda and Twinkies
off of food stamps,

the food deserts would disappear,

because the food deserts are driven
by the incentives of SNAP.

We could talk about how food deserts
came to be, and why for many,

your local dollar store
may be the only grocery store in reach.

We actually did talk
about that two years ago.

We could also talk about how
increasing SNAP benefits

would make it easier for families
to afford fresh produce,

but that removing processed food
from SNAP isn't likely to cause

salad bars to instantly sprout up
around the country.

And while we are doing that,
we should probably talk about

how your general tone of condescension
makes you a pretty good candidate

to be the next cover boy
for Condescending Prick Magazine.

But let's leave all of that aside
and assume that Calley Means

just wants every family to have
access to fresh, nutritious foods.

Here is the thing about that:
there's actually a program

that's been trying to do that,
and guess what just happened to it.

Yes, we receive local shredded carrots,
cucumbers, lettuce,

because we feel that we need to support
people in our own communities.

Jim Keaten runs
the district's nutrition plan

and much of this produce comes from
local growers under a USDA program

that's been cut
by the Trump administration.

Some of that food is grown here,
at Pine Knot Farms,

about an hour's drive
from Riverside High.

Linda Leach-Hughes keeps
the books.

How are you going to make
America great again

if you're taking food
out of the mouth of babies,

senior citizens, nursing homes,
rehab centers, hospitals,

all of these agencies that are
dependent on federal dollars?

How are you going
to make America great again?

Yeah, good point, Linda!
And I love everything about that,

from her precision in calling out
this administration

to the fact that she clearly
takes absolutely no sh*t.

In general: if there's a woman in
charge of your office named Linda,

I bet it's run like the f*cking Navy.

If you walk in and Linda is
at her desk, ponytail tight

and QuickBooks open,
drop to your knees and praise the Lord,

you are in good hands.

This administration's canceled
a billion dollars in funding

for schools and food banks
to buy food from local suppliers.

And at the same time,
it's made cuts to SNAP eligibility,

meaning there are fewer recipients
of free breakfast and lunch at school.

Which I guess is one way
to accomplish MAHA's goals:

kids can't eat any food dyes
if they're not eating anything!

And that is the thing,

whatever cosmetic gains MAHA
has won since Trump took office

have been more than offset
by massive losses elsewhere.

Which brings us to our final point:
what comes next,

'cause it could be a lot.

We talked earlier this year
about the massive defunding

of scientific research that's occurred.
But that is just the beginning.

Recently, you may have seen

that HHS is winding down its mRNA
vaccine development activities,

which could have a grave
public health impact.

They've already revoked a contract
to develop a vaccine against bird flu.

And there are real concerns
that this could impact

the promising research
into developing mRNA vaccines

for other infectious diseases like HIV,
or even using them to treat cancer.

One infectious disease researcher
has called this

the "most dangerous public
health decision"

"I have ever seen made
by a government body,"

and that's by no means
the only attack on vaccines.

In June, RFK fired everyone

on the Advisory Committee
for Immunization Practices,

which meets regularly to establish
vaccination recommendations.

They're a very important body because,
among other things,

insurers usually have to cover
the vaccines that they recommend.

Since then, RFK's announced
the appointment of seven new members,

only one of whom was a widely
recognized expert in vaccines,

and some are a real
"who's uh-oh" of crackpots,

including Robert Malone,
who's claimed that millions of Americans

were hypnotized
into taking the Covid-19 shots

and has suggested the booster shots
cause a form of A*DS.

And if that wasn't bad enough,
which it very much is,

there may soon be a similar attack

on an obscure but critical
corner of our health system.

Health Secretary RFK Jr.
is planning to fire every member

of an influential task force that
decides what preventive health services

must be covered by insurance
at no cost to patients.

So, that includes everything from
cancer screening to HIV prevention.

Now, Kennedy, the source says,

plans to oust all 16 members
for being, quote, "too woke".

Come on! "Too woke?" That doesn't
even mean anything anymore.

But I guess if that is the reason,
we can look forward

to the new members of that task
force being Joe Camel, Kid Rock,

J.K. Rowling, and a glass of water
that somehow doesn't mind Hitler.

Suffice to say, this is a bleak time
to be involved with public health,

and I haven't even mentioned

the horrific sh**ting
at the CDC campus last week,

where nearly 500 b*ll*ts
were fired at six buildings

by a man who apparently subscribed
to conspiracies about Covid vaccine.

And it is frankly not ideal

that RFK didn't issue
an official statement on it

'til this tweet the next day,
which only came after he posted

photos from the fishing trip he was on.
Which is just shockingly insensitive.

You are the head of the agency. People
need to hear from you in a crisis.

You can't be posting pictures
of yourself holding fish

like you're a dude on Tinder.
Save those for your texts to reporters!

And beyond RFK's leadership
of his own agency,

it's worth noting that
the administration he's a part of

is taking a buzzsaw to so many
of MAHA's stated priorities.

And to be fair, that is something
that some influencers

who've been supportive of RFK in
the past have been trying to point out.

What are the things about the
Make America Healthy Again movement

that concern you?

Like, cleaning up our food in America
is gonna require more regulation.

And so, I'm just not understanding
how we're going to clean up our food

through regulation in an administration
that ran on deregulation.

Right, regulation is the exact opposite
of everything Trump stands for.

He's about as likely
to embrace regulation

as he is to put an "in this house" sign
on the White House lawn.

Why would you think
he would do that?

And sadly, she is right to worry,
as this administration's unleashed

some catastrophes
for public health,

from the projected 1 trillion in
Medicaid cuts over the next decade,

to Trump's EPA delaying implementing
a new standard

to limit the dangerous chemical
PFAS in drinking water,

to its efforts to "rescind
the long-standing finding"

"that greenhouse gas emissions
endanger human health,"

"removing the legal foundation for
all U.S. greenhouse gas regulations."

And look, it is maddening that
for the first time in recent memory

there has been a genuine groundswell
of support for a cleaner,

healthier, less corporately
controlled America,

but it's taken this f*cking form.

Because for the final time,

it is absolutely legitimate
to want America to be healthier.

There are clearly systemic problems
when it comes to America's health.

But these just aren't the solutions.

Remember that major JAMA report
that I mentioned earlier

about increases
to child mortality and illness?

An editorial published alongside it
included a list of recommendations,

including investing
in antipoverty measures,

broadening
health insurance coverage,

investing in primary care,
and passing firearm safety laws,

which is clearly pretty f*cking far
from what this administration is doing.

Instead, they are shredding
the social safety net,

while elevating voices that push
the responsibility for health

down to the individual.

I guess what I'm really
saying here is, in its current form,

MAHA is not about making
America healthy again.

At best,
it is about laundering the reputation

of an administration
that is doing the exact opposite.

For those in this movement that truly
are concerned about public health,

I would argue that they should be
going after these guys

with at the very least
the kind of outrage

that they typically reserve
for f*cking Froot Loops.

And now, this.

And Now:
The Song of the Summer.

I can't wait…

I can't wait…

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have
your c*ck in my mouth.

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have c*ck…

…c*ck in my mouth.

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have
your c*ck in my mouth.

In my mouth.

I got a new strap-on
harness today.

It will fit my favorite dildo perfectly.
You're going to look so hot.

c*ck. So hot.

c*ck. So hot.

c*ck…

c*ck in my mouth.

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have
your c*ck in my mouth.

In my mouth.
This was my a*s.

My a*s.
This was my a*s.

My a*s.

My a*s…

c*ck in my a*s.

c*ck in my a*s.

c*ck in my mouth

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have your c*ck
in my mouth. In my mouth.

That's our show,
thanks so much for watching.

We're off for the next couple of weeks,
we're back September 7th, good night!

I can't wait…

I can't wait to have
your c*ck in my mouth.

In my mouth.

I can't wait…

This was my a*s.