01x05 - The Two Gils

[bunniefuu]

life when you just got to ask yourself

why why am I here what am I doing and

why can't you get a good chocolate soda

anymore it was going to be one of those

days hey tall green and handsome and

how's my favorite civil servant don't

ask honey and don't ask why you

shouldn't ask I guess now would not be a

good time to tell you my folks are

coming to visit for a couple of days

that's nice your parents yeah and

they're really looking forward to

finally meeting you since last time they

were here you wouldn't take off work I

was being held hostage the police

patched in a direct line you could have

called sorry I was hanging upside down

by my tail at the time well it didn't

exactly score any points with Daddy okay

barring any unforeseen t*rror1st

activities I'll try to be more available

thank you so what about taking all of us

to the Shell Shack Wednesday night since

when do you want to go to the Shell

Shack the folks have heard so much about

it they want to experience it fine I'll

make sure it's an experience and maybe

you could get tickets to the Snappers

opening game on Sunday Daddy's a real

baseball fan consider it done and one

more thing would you mind wearing

something a little more of um well a

little less what's wrong with this it's

old it's wrinkled it's out of style it's

ugly and it's brown and who is this eh

Ruby Pearl you imil whatever oh on the

Dame owns Pearl's Diner has the hats for

Gil she also has a little snot noos

brother named tab just happens to work

for this Gil character very good angel I

can see why Gil works up quite a sweat

over this one but this one works for me

next detective catfish good detective

catfish under cover as a lamp post next

hey that catfish really is good no you

idiot that's Goldie right Gil secretary

broad's been married more times than

I've been in

jail excellent you're

improving so now he knows the players

but what happens when he speaks to one

of them watch and listen come on

calamari those aren't suspenders and you

know it now hear that voice and repeat

after me the scales on whales are mainly

on their tails the scales and whales are

mainly on their tails oh my very

impressive again I don't know why you're

going to such trouble you're successful

in all your endeavors extortion m*rder

blackmail gambling arson yes but finding

bill here has inspired me to a new low I

may not have inspector gil on my payroll

but when I'm finished with Bill I'll

have the next best

thing

catfish

dad Chief

Abalone

crab the scales on whales are mainly on

their tails

again forget it I Quit find yourself

another cop bill look around it appears

I have everything a professional

criminal could possibly want but I am

missing that one elusive element

information information is power and

with my plan and your genes you will

become my source of power I hate to be

and I told you so but I told you so you

can turn this carp into a cup a squid

can dream can he the scales on whales

are mainly on their tails the scales on

whales are mainly on their tails the

scales on whales are mainly on their

tails by Georg he's got it so I'm

finally going to meet Pearl's parents

but what does that say about Pearl and

me and what are her parents going to say

about what I haven't said to Pearl maybe

I'm making too much out of this holy

mother of pearl you going to meet her

parents relax Gil we can always arrange

another t*rror1st attack it' be best to

wear a marriage proof vest I don't think

my folks are expecting Gil and pearl to

get married of course they have cleared

the month of June Gil catfish in in my

office

now what's up you got a brief Chief I

told you never rhyme in my office sorry

you two ever hear of the 1897 trollers

they were the worst team in baseball

history yeah my great Granddad told me

they were so bad they only lasted a year

and only made one baseball

card his got to be worth a stash of cash

uh sorry it just so happens that very

BAS B card is floating into our Fair

City to be auctioned off later this week

and you two get to bebit it while it's

on display at the Snapper Stadium gee

thanks chief that stadium is huge it's

going to be impossible to secure I know

that that's why every night the card

will be transferred to the vault at the

oceanic bank and one more thing the

fewer who know about the transfer the

better if this card is going to be

stolen Let It Be stolen while it's in

some other City you won't lose face cuz

we're on the job plastic surgeon or no

plastic surgeon do you really think you

can pull this

off gosh bu it's e oh it's

genius no it's Gil inspector

Gil it was another day but I still had

the same old questions about Life I even

had a few new ones how come the news guy

asked me why I needed another paper why

did my dry cleaner give my best green

tie to another mug and what is dry

cleaning anyway and who really needs it

in an

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hour how many bowls of corn flakes can

you eat in one day is this a quiz Are

you still hungry still uh yes okay

is there something in the water this

morning everyone's acting so weird if

you ask me the whole Ocean's gone crazy

it says here that the Snappers owner

George Stein fluke is willing to pay a

fortune for this $1

1897 trollers baseball card crimey this

guy's got take me written all over him I

got some old bottle caps I'll sell him I

could clean

up what no banana I gave you the last

one with your first Bowl this is my

first Bowl oh no I see what you're doing

Insanity will not get you out of meeting

my

parents am I missing something

here you pass pearls with flying colors

now for your next test I want you to go

inside the station and bring me back all

the files they have on me what if they

asked to see an ID or something this

isn't a library you swim in you swim out

you're official with a mission just be

Gill sounds pretty simple

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precisely who are you and what have

you're done with the real guil what

you've never been in before 9:30 uh

Goldie right uh Goldie I just uh came in

to um give you some you piping that's

cute I never knew you could be this

funny before lunch

[Music]

we cool about tonight tonight the

transfer of the card oh that yeah I'm

cool cool are you uh cool I invented the

word now you don't anticipate a problem

with this card nah you know how the

chief gets a crack up his shell with

these kinds of assignments besides if

you and I can't transfer one Teensy tiny

baseball card from the stadium to the

oceanic bank vault and we're nothing but

Chum

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[Applause]

[Music]

right hey Cat we still on for

tonight you are one fried fish what is

so

[Music]

funny how did it go like a dream so

where's my file your file is a file

cabinet I couldn't exactly hide it under

my coat cabinet huh huh I'm glad I'm

keeping the fcpd busy now did you pick

up anything interesting n nothing worth

[Music]

repeating inspector Gil the detective

catfish a perative visual ID proceed

[Music]

here you go Mr lyen she's all yours Yep

this baby is going to sleep safe tonight

we're out of here let's book let me

familiarize you with our xjm 11- Omega

surveilling system Mr lyen this is truly

fascinating but now over here you can

have your master cam mini cam Maxi Cam

microcam and can cam it's your everyday

camera disguises a can this particular

one is cream corn of course it also

comes in French style green beans

[Music]

okra hey Fox how about something extra

for the effort here I drove extra

careful for you you being Pearl's dad

and all I could have hit that bus you

know we didn't have to go around

it forget

it w*r you

ly though I know you're perfectly so

well that my heart

[Music]

belongs I sure

am well I sure am looking forward to the

Snappers opening

day I can smell those weenies already

speaking of weenie sweetheart where is

this inspector of yours I told you he's

going to be late he's working on a case

but he'll be here right Tad oh yeah

inspector gilwin missed this for

anything I'm sure Gil is well worth the

wait dear oh he is he's sweet he's

intelligent he's caring he's got his

fins all over

Angel it's that it's it's uh you know

I'm sure it's part of an ongoing

investigation and I'll just let them

know we're here why don't I uh come over

later and we'll shed some scales

together uh sir excuse me sir not now

kid uh sir what my folks dinner meeting

for the first

[Music]

time oh yeah sure sure I'd love to meet

him what does he think he's doing I told

you this was a mistake hi Gil hey A kiss

would have been nice Gil these are my

folks Mr and Mrs White hey so we finally

meet how do you do we've heard so much

about you hope you haven't heard too

much cuz once Pearl gets a couple of

belts under her apron there's no telling

what she'll say right baby excuse me but

could I speak to you inspector it is a

matter of the utmost import hold your

water toots I'll be right

back well I like him this is great no

one suspects a thing why'd you pull me

away you're getting sloppy and it's

making me nervous I don't like being

nervous hey boss I hate to interrupt you

on Gil but Gil just walked in so maybe

Gil should

leave I don't know what kind of game

you're playing Mister but if you think

you can come back to the table after

that performance you're out of your tiny

little brain what are you talking about

I just got here well you're just

leaving oh this would have been a good

week to stay home

[Music]

I couldn't sleep so I swam around all

night nothing was adding up everywhere I

went I seemed to have been there before

and insulted everyone in the process

something smelled and it was up to me to

sniff it out and track it

[Music]

down I could sure you some coffee I

didn't bother stopping at Pearl she

isn't exactly talking to me neither is

anyone here Gil my office

now morning cat Chief the taller

baseball card was stolen last night

that's impossible that bank had more

cameras than a Bus full of Japanese

tourists what about that vegetable

camera thing they had on oh it was on

all right C to see you bet you Chief

anyone we know you tell me Hit The

Lights

[Music]

that wasn't me I mean I mean it was me

but that wasn't me it kind of sort of

was Gil no it wasn't he was taller he

had fatter uh he was left fin for Pike's

sake I don't care what fin he used he

used your face I'm sorry go I'm going to

have to place you under arrest this is

ridiculous my face didn't leave my sight

all night what am I saying you're

gone

B sorry

Sandy

him I'd rather relive my third honeymoon

and see this happen

[Applause]

[Music]

plain and simple I had to get out

somewhere out there there was a cart

with my face on him hey am I glad to see

you two you got to believe me I didn't

steal that baseball card we know uh sir

that's why we're here that dude shrewd

but you're right he used his left and

then I remembered how friendly you were

with Angel uh sir that wasn't me either

how friendly was I well let's put it

this way sir my sister burned your stool

at the diner ow I got to get this guy

how if I find the card I find the carp

where do you think you'll try to unload

it we don't have any high rollers like

that in Fish City wait a minute aren't

the Snappers in town Yeah tomorrow's

opening day and the Snapper's owner isge

Stein fluk the richest Baseball Card

Collector in the ocean the other Gil is

going to contact Stein fluke I just know

it and I'm going to be there

[Music]

you guys are the

best I was on the

lamb inspector Gill's parents agreed to

be interviewed on the condition that

they remain anonymous we contacted them

in their modest home at 2241 starfish

Lane just off Boulevard next to the& he

was always a strange fish he got that

from his father's side don't bring my

family into this you're the one with the

uncle who covers himself in tin foil and

sings Melancholy baby on the roof he's a

performance artist artist SCH

artist no sign a bill Boys he cleaned

out of his hotel room this morning and

took everything except the newspaper

damn that piece of Pon to come

impersonate a double cross me this is a

disaster of biblical proportions we've

got to find bill before the police do or

else you'll drag us into this I always

hate being implicated wait a minute we

just may have a

chance well well take me out of the ball

game I wanted to catch this impersonator

red finned but going to the stadium was

dangerous everyone was after me even

though they should have been after him

because he looked like me so I had to

find him before they found me but when

this was over I was really going to need

a vacation

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

give me one of those Snappers

caps I can explain

Chief

4 everything I've told you about the

Imposter is the truth Chief and he's

here now headed for the owner's box he's

trying to sell the tler baseball card to

Stein flu look there he

[Applause]

[Music]

is don't just FL there go get him

[Music]

Shar can I have one of those bennets can

I can I I want one of those flag things

that pill a

sell fish

[Music]

police take that you're under arrest

you're under arrest two to one odds say

out guys the one on the right or the

left forget it all bets are on I'll tell

you who's

[Music]

who honey this isn't a

buffet Pearl surely you can tell us

apart gee I don't know I'll try why

don't you both make a date with me and

whoever breaks it I'll know is the real

Gil cops cops they all look alike to me

fish is fish you mean to tell me that no

one here can tell the real Gil from the

impostor all right if you're me show us

some

[Applause]

ID

oops wrong answer copy car my badge

Sandy is in abalone's desk drawer book

him

catfish sorry Stein fluke this isn't for

sayable and whoever you are I'm booking

you for everything I can think of he

made me do it calamari did you really

think you'd get away with this get away

with what inspector you don't have one

shred of actual evidence do you how

about this kisser for starters F can I

help but if this poor misguided soul

chose to impersonate you besides

everyone knows that imitation is the

sincerest form of flattery I can't pin

anything on you right now but when I do

gee we're all a quiver

inspector k*ll it was incredible he even

had that cute little birth mark that you

have right on

your bill the impostor was taking my

face to someplace where it would do him

no good sand Quenton but I still had to

face Pearl may I help you sir Pearl

honey I'm sorry I know I struck out with

your parents again I I I hope you'll

give me another chance not too soon of

course very

[Music]

funny what was that for next time some

two bit fish comes into town wearing my

face I want to make sure that someone

can tell us AP part someone okay you

maybe we better do that kissing thing

again that was good but I'm not quite

sure I could pick you out of a lineup

yet

[Music]