07x34 - Graduation Day

[bunniefuu]

People, I'm very concerned about you.

Lately I've been noticing A disturbing

trend of low self esteem.

OK?In fact, your lack of it doesn't

make me feel too good as your teacher.

Now self esteem and

motivation people are keys to

success in life, OK?

Does anyone know what those terms mean?

People, is anyone paying attention out

there?Beavis, do you know what

self-esteem means?

No. Beavis is stupid. Yeah,

I'm not very smart. Now, Beavis, that's

exactly what I'm talking about. Why would

you say such a thing?

OK, people. I guess this is a good

time for a little confidence-boosting

surprise I've been planning. I've made

arrangements to borrow the caps and gowns

from this year's graduating class.

That's right, class. With my help, you're

all going to graduate today. Cool. All

right. I can't believe it. Now, it's not

a real graduation, of course. It's a

self-esteem graduation. Whoa! To

help you better respect yourself. We're

gonna graduate. Yeah, Yeah

today! It's all over!

Graduate. Uh,

going back to school?

Going back to school. Shut up, Beavis.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Check it out. We graduated.

Pretty cool, huhWow. Oh, really?

I want you.

Come on, butthead. Butthead, please

get these gowns on.

Now, class, graduation gowns have

symbolized wisdom and maturity for

centuries. You look like a

dumb assThis is called a

mortar board, and it comes with this

tassel, which many graduates save as a

memento of their special day.

Perhaps some of your older brothers and

sisters still have theirs. Oh yeah,

my uncle has one of those hanging on his

dashboard. Good Butthead.

He must have saved it from his own high

school graduation. Uh, no. He

didn't go to high school. He got it off

the boob of some chick in a nudie bar.

There's a big difference, Butthead, in

what the two tassels stand for. I hope

someday you'll find that out.

Well, let's get on with our ceremony.

If you'd come up one at a time, I have a

certificate for each of you.

Congratulations. Good

work, Dean. You have many talents to be

proud of. Congratulations,

Cassandra. I know you'll go far in the

world. Okay?Here you go,

butthead. You have many

qualities. Yeah. And here's your

diploma, Beavis. Okay. OkayEven

though these are not genuine diplomas,

they represent something very real.

Namely, my opinion as your teacher that

each of you is an important human being,

worthy of your classmates' respect

and your own self-respect.

OK?And in closing, I'd just

like to say bravo for being you.

Thanks for your cooperation, people. I'm

picking up some much more positive vibes

now.

OK, now that we're all feeling better

about ourselves, we do have a lot of

material to cover before the midterm.

Please open your books to Chapter SE.

Where are Beavis and Butthead?

We've graduated.

We're never going to go to school again.

I'm just glad it's finally over. You know

what I'm saying?Yeah, really. At least

now we can get on with our lives.

Shauna, would you hurry up and get your

funky buttOh, did you hear that?She just

called her monkey buttYeah.

That was pretty cool. Yeah.

I'm getting kind of sick of Janet

Jackson. Yeah. She always has a

bunch of chicks sitting around talking

before the video. That's

a pretty nice hotel. Yeah. When you're

like rich and famous, you can stay in

those really nice hotels where they have

likeadult videos and hourly rates

and stuff like that. How come hotels have

hourly rates anyway?Cuz, dumbassIt

only takes, like, an hour to do it. Wow.

A whole hour?A

whole whoreA

whole wh*re You can get on the phone

and be like, Uh.. room service?I'd

like some bacon and a couple

cokes. And a bunch of wh*res

Yeah, yeah..

And a side order of poop! Uh, what did

you say, Beavis?I was just saying, um..

And a side order of poop. You know.. Oh,

boy... Beavis...

You just sent my b*ner into the ground.

Sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, you

know.. I don't know, I thought

it was pretty cool... Oops!

To go with the horrors, you knowShut up,

leave

us! Excuse me. Are those bunghole boys

you're wearing?Yeah!

Bunghole boys! You want this?

Can you handle this?Could you handle

this, Beavis?Since

I can handle this, I can probably handle

that.

Ohh What are you doing, Beavis?I'm doing

my monkey boy.

Damn it, Beavis, get down. I am getting

down.

Ratatatat badass