06x13 - Sprout

[bunniefuu]

Now, people, who can tell us where we get

our food

at the store?Good

butthead. Whoa, really?

I'm afraid so. Sadly, the primal

experience of cultivating the earth has

been replaced by a trip to the store.

That's why you're all going to grow

plants now, Beavis and Butthead. If

you could grow any type of food, what

would you grow?

Nachos. Nachos aren't a plant,

dumbassThey like make them from stuff.

That's right, Butthead. And corn is an

excellent choice. Or as the Native

Americans call it, maize. No,

no, noWe want to grow nachos.

In a few months, Beavis, when the corn

grows, you'll be able to make your own

nachos. Yeah, but we can go to Maximart

and get some right now. Yeah,

but this is school. They have to do

everything a*s backwards

Magicians.

Maybe he's going to pull a rabbit out of

his hat. Yeah, or maybe he'll pull a

rabbit out of his butt

I knew you were going to say that,

butthead. You always say stuff like that.

It's not very funny. Uh..

Shut up, Beavis.

Magicians are stupid.

It's like they're always pulling, like,

rabbits and birds out of their hats and

their sleeves and stuff. It's like, why

don't they just pull money out of their

hat?Yeah, Yeah yeah, it's like, you know,

it's like they could just pull some money

out of their hat, and then when they run

out they can just make some more money up

here. And then just keep making more and

more money until they're rich and then

they could like make chicks appear. And

then maybe like, you know, like a tractor

that would roll. Yeah.

He could pull a tractor out of his butt

Yeah, yeah, yeahYou know, maybe

we should get one of those books on

magic. Uh,

but books suck, Beavis. Oh, yeah,

yeahDamn it, there's always a catch.

You know, once my grandma was reading me

this book, where there was this dude, he

used like magic, 'cause he could like, he

could take this one loaf of bread and

like use it to feed like a thousand

people. You know

what else he could do?He could take water

and turn it into beer. I'm

serious. Really?That

kicks a*s

Get ready for nachos, Beavis. Yeah,

these seeds suck. I knew

you guys would screw this up. I just had

to see for myself. What do you know about

Nachos Daria?Diarrhea.

Not much, but I do know you're supposed

to plant the seeds

in the ground.

I know it sounds crazy, but I've seen it

work. Then you have to give them water

and then some plant food, and it helps if

you talk to them too. In the meantime, I

hope you guys don't starve to death.

Stupid diarrhea.

Really?Well, you heard her,

dude. Let's get him in the ground. Cool.

Didn't diarrhea say we were supposed to

put water on it?Yeah, but

water sucks. Oh yeah, yeah, water

sucks. Let's get him some food.

OK, here you go. Yeah,

come and get it.

Nothing's happening, butthead.

Yeah, farming sucks. Let's go

get something to eat. Yeah, I'm hungry.

So, uh, where's the corn?

I don't know. Maybe it needs more food

and water and stuff. We already tried

that, dumbassThis

corn is starting to piss me off.

Come on, grow, damn it.

How come you're yelling at it?I'm not

yelling at it, dumbassI'm just like

talking to it like Daria said. Oh yeah,

yeahSo like,

uh, corn.

Grow. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Corn. Yeah. What's your

problem?Yeah, really?

What's taking you so damn long?Yeah, yeah

You know, give me some food. We get some

cheeseburgers. You know, I could've eaten

that myself. And I was like, you're just

sitting there. You're not doing anything.

Come on, grow. Yeah. I'm getting

pretty sick of this crap. Yeah. And

you're just taking your sweet a*s time

peddling around, and I'm sick of it. And

I want you to just sit there and think

about all I've done for you. And next

time I'm going to get the belt. There's

not going to be a next time. I'm going to

kick your a*s right now.

Son of a b*tch

This is boring. Yeah,

really. It's boring enough to watch this,

and then they're bored doing it. Maybe

next time they'll learn to rock. Yeah.

What a bunch of woofies. It's like

they're all hanging out up on the diving

board, but like everyone's too chicken to

jump off. need to take

those guitars and those amps and just,

like, push them off the diving board into

the water and watch them get all

electrocuted or something?Now that would

rule. You

know, I dove off the high dive once.

Remember?That was cool. Eh

You didn't dive, Beavis, you fell off.

You were trying to run back to the ladder

and you slipped. No.

No way. You were

flailing around in the water.

And then that dude with the hairy chest

came and saved you. Shut up, butthead! At

least I fell off it. I didn't even see

you climb up. Yeah, I did.

After they took you off in the ambulance,

I was, like, doing a bunch of swan dives.

It was cool. And then I

scored. Whoa, really?

You're cool, butthead. Yeah.

It was cool.

Well, class, overall, I'm really pleased

with this project. You all did a

marvelous job getting in touch with the

earth. But I must say, Beavis and

Butthead, I'm a little disappointed. What

happened to your corn?Uh, we made it

into nachos already. Yeah, they were

really good. You should add some.

Come on, what really happened?Oh,

uh, we fed it and watered it and like

tried talking to it and stuff, but it

just had a bad attitude about growing.

Yeah, it's like one of those problem

plants. Well, I can't

fail you for trying, but what's that

awful smell?

Oh yeah, after it stopped growing,

Beavis fertilized it.

Whoa. That looks like

that dude from Planet of the Apes.

That movie kicked assRemember when they

put those naked guys in a cage?

Yeah. Those

guys were wussies. Yeah,

yeah, really. I wouldn't take that if

they did that to me. I'd be kicking

monkey a*s all over the place. Yeah.

Monkeys.

You know, these guys sound pretty cool,

you know, for having a monkey, you know,

on guitar. I was thinkingMaybe they

should get a gorilla to play drums.

'Cause you know, I mean, you go to the

zoo and they're always playing with

themselves. Oh, I mean, maybe

they could play some drums. I don't know.

Uh.. Yeah, but, Bevis, you play with

yourself and you can't play drums.

Oh, wait, buddy, I bet I could play the

drums. I could let go, you know. Pa-rump,

pa-rump.

Then I was thinking also, you know, if

you had a monkey on drums, just just one

more thing about that. If you had a

monkey on drums, you know, you could

you could spank him. That's all I wanted

to say.

Yeah.