05x22 - Dream On

[bunniefuu]

From NBC News, this is Today with Bryant

Gumbel and Katie Kewy. Good morning to

you. Welcome to this beautiful day. We're

going to help you get it off to a great

start. Good morning, Katie. Good morning,

Bryant. How are you?Me. I couldn't be

better. Yourself. Just fine. How was your

night?Mine. Couldn't be better. And yours?

Just fine. How was your ride in the

elevator?Mine?Couldn't be better.

And yours?Fell asleep there.

What is this?I

think it's Jackal.

That dude looks like Heidi Fleiss.

Oh, yeah. She's skanky

Yeah. She's ugly.

She's what you call fugly.

She's a fugly, skanky wh*re

That wasn't very nice, Beavis. Oh,

sorry about that.

This dude's chest is about as puny and

hairless as yours, Beavis. Shut up,

fartcracker! I could kick this dude's a*s

You mean fartknocker, Beavis. Oh ohh

yeah, yeahAnd for the last time, you

can't kick anybody's assYeah I can, I'm

getting bigger. Like, I've been drinking

milk and stuff. Yeah, right. Oh, really

funny. And some last week. Yeah, but then

you spit it out. Yeah, but it was in my

mouth long enough for me to get some

vitamins and stuff out.

Dumbass

Woah. He's just like walking

around in his underwear. And he's like

having popcorn for breakfast. Yeah,

that's pretty cool.

Hey, buddy. He

has morning wood.

Yeah. He's got a

breakfast burrito.

Chimichanga, chimichanga.

I'm not home right now

I'm not home

home Hey, man, guess what?I'm in the

Bahamas Get over here Hey, teach you

minutes The girls want to say hi to you

Whoa, check it out, butthead! How did

that dude get all those

chicks?Cuz, you dumbassHis name is Schlong

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Cheech and

SchlongI forgot about that. You know

what?Cheech should changename?The Butt

Cheeks?Hehehe. It's like

Butt Cheeks and SchlongI don't

think you'd get chicks with a name like

Butt Cheeks, Beavis. Oh

man. Oh yeah. That was my nickname when I

was a kid. Butt Cheeks.

Oh ohh yeah.

Heather, tell us about your date. Well,

when he first showed up, I thought, he's

cute and built and kind of sensitive.

Butthead, first impression?Well,

Chuck, I thought she had big thingies.

So then what happened?He took me to the

Quick Mart. Yeah. I bought

her some nachos so she'd, like, put out.

Really?Did it work?Yeah.

I scored, Chuck.

That was cool.

Thank you very much.

You must let go. If you are rooted in the

Tao, the force of the earth will support

you. Yeah, but like, when are we gonna

kick some assPatience, my son. Have

you forgotten your lesson so quickly?But

master, does not the fire need water too?

Does not the mountain need the storm?Does

not your scrotum need kicking?

Butthead, over 500 girls have had sex

with you. How do you explain the

attraction?Uh, just look

at me.

Hey, baby. Butthead. Butthead.

Butthead. Wake up.

I think we, like, missed school or

something. Cool. It's not

like we were going to learn anything. Oh,

yeah.

Fire those retro rockets, sh**t the Futon

torpedoes, and, like, make us go that

way. Aye, aye, Captain.

Excuse me. I order you to undress and

show me your thingies. But Captain,

that violatesGalactic Law, or something.

Number one, I order you to go take a

number two. Aye aye, captain. Uh,

this is

cool. Uh,

Roger Baker One. The suspect passed

a stop sign, so I pulled him over and

kicked his a*s

You said a man walked by with a dog, so I

kicked his assHey, where do you think

you're going?

Here's a story of a guy named

Butthead who was horny for three

very lovely girls. Then along

came a guy named Beavis. He

was horny too.

Hey, Beavis, we like to live in the same

house with three chicks. Oh yeah.

YeahThat

was

a cool day. Yeah. I'm like

really tired. Yeah. I guess it's

like time to go to sleep or something.

Yeah.

Uh.. Is this some monkeys?

Um.. They look like butt monkeys. Is

this that episode where they go to the

dude ranch?Uh.. You're

thinking of happy days, dumbassOh, yeah.

Hey! Spit on it!sit on

my buttThat reminds

me of this joke. Yeah. There's this

dude, and he like meets a sl*t in a bar.

And they're like, uh, going back to

her place. Uh huhSound like he, uh,

can't find his keys. Well then he

needs like a flashlight. And then he

says, uh, help me find my keys and we can

drive out of here.

Um, I don't get it.

She was a sl*t

Hey buddy, is this like, from that City

Slickers movie?Oh yeah.

Remember that one part where that guy

like, sticks his hand up that tail's butt

Oh yeah, yeahAnd then he like,

pulls out a dog, and it's all wet.

That wasn't a dog. I

was like, uh, a big rabbit.

From NBC News, this is Today, Brian

Gumbel and Katie Keuer. Good morning to

you. Welcome to this beautiful day. We're

going to help you get up to a great

start. Good morning. Hey, buddy. Good

morning. I dreamed I was in school last

night. You think that counts for

attendance?Uh, I think so.

Was I there too?Yeah.

Cool. So let's, like, take the day

off. Yeah. What do you want to

do?

Mine couldn't be better. And now for the

weather. Here's Willard Scott. Thanks,

Brian. What another beautiful day

outside. We've got some birthdays here.

Eleanor Riley from sunny Clearwater, FL

is 100 years young today.

That Snoop Doggy Dog?No, dumbassThat's

a chick. She's got his

haircut, though. Yeah.

He's a weirdo. Yeah.

He's like one of those drama club

teachers. Oh, yeah, yeahThey're always

trying to get you to, like, cramp around

like some kind of wussy. Yeah, it's like

they say, Be a tree.

Now be a sad tree. Now be a happy

tree. Yeah.

Man. This chick is out of

her gourd. She's

like, completely whacked out. Yeah, but

it's like, I can't really blame her

because like, some of these weird chicks

make tons of money. Really?

Yeah. It's not like they're going around

saying we need a normal chick to dance on

the truck. Yeah, yeahHey buddy,

you think I could make some like money if

I acted like a weird chick?I think I have

to like be from England or something.

Damn it. Whoa, she's grabbing her

crotch. Oh yeah, yeahHey

buddy, I thought Chase didn't have a

crotch. No, dumbassYou're thinking of

nabs. Well... I was

thinking of the crotch, actually, but you

know.. Some girls have a crotch?

I'll be damned!