05x18 - Party

[bunniefuu]

One unidentified official claimed that,

quote, these parties were known for their

wild, rowdy behavior, and any women in

attendance should have expected that the

men would tear their clothes off and cop

a feel. OK,

Bob kind of makes me wish I'd joined the

military. Hey, Beavis,

we should, like, throw a party. Yeah,

yeah, yeahWe could have, like, cake and

stuff. And like, dumbassWe should have,

like, a party with chicks. And, you know,

cop a feel. Yeah, that's a good idea, but

why do you get these ideas?

They come from my wiener.

Ohh We're gonna score.

I want you to open your eyes. And I want

you to look at me. Now, baby,

do you think you could do me?

Oh, I see you've brought some friends.

Ooh, baby. I'd

like three of these chicks in pink. Yeah,

me too. And uh.. four of the

ones in black, please.

And um.. I'd like all of them, please.

Um, thank you guys, sir.

I haven't seen this video in like, a

really long time. Yeah, it's been a long

time. I kinda miss the blots.

Yeah.

This dude looks like one of those drunk

businessmen at those kokyoke bars. Ohh

Remember that time, we were looking in

the window and we saw that big fat slob.

He was going, I'm crazy.

Then remember when that Chinese dude got

up and he sang, You ain't nothing but

hound dog, flying all the time.

And he sang, Love me tender,

love me through,Never let me go.

I see. Taekwondo better than Tae Foxy. He

didn't say that, Bebus.

Today I want to rap a little bit about

sexism. I wonder if anyone can give me an

example of sexism. Does anyone have

anything they'd like to share?Uh, yeah.

Like, uh, we're going to have a party.

Yeah, it's going to rock.

Yeah, and we especially want chicks to

come. So we can like, uh..

You know

Good job, guys. That's exactly what I'm

talking about. Anybody else?

This party's gonna kick assYeah. Uh..

We're gonna have a party. Yeah. I'm gonna

score. So?

How much party stuff can we buy with this

much money?

None, but I'll give you some used

forks from our toppings bar. Cool.

And I got some day old donuts. Donuts

roll. This party's gonna

rock.

We need one more thing, dude.

We need some hard stuff. I

got some hard stuff. Not that, dumbassI'm

talking about booze. You know,

liquor. Oh yeah. Let's ask that dude

out back. Uh,

can we have some of that?Do you have

any kind of smokers?Uh, no. We

got some donuts. Half of what's in

here. In for your donut.

The hard stuff rules. Yeah, we're

going to score. Hey,

butthead, can I sit this down?My hands

are getting tired. No way, Beavis. When

the chicks walk in, they need to see it

in your hands so they know you're cool.

It's them. It's the chicks. It's the

chicks. He bought it. Should I pretend

like I'm drinking it?Hi, guys.

Uh, what the hell are you doing here?Time

to party down, dudes. I'm psyched.

Hope you don't mind. I brought some buds

from the youth group. Wow, you were

right, Stewart. This party kicks rear.

You guys will have to come to our Loaves

and Fishes cookout next week. Deal. Uh,

no. Yeah. I'll pinch a little for you,

though.

Okay, maybe MacGyver could beat Michael

in a fight. But it doesn't matter because

nobody's smarter than a computerized car.

It does so matter, because without

Michael, it's just a normal car. Oh,

yeah, right. A normal talking car?

Right.

Whoa. It's Todd. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Todd, you're really here. You're really

here. Yeah.

This party looks more like a daycare

Center for little baby girls.

This crap is. warm. Get some cold

stuff. Uh..

I tell you what, ladies, if you leave

right now, I'll let you go without

kicking your assesUh, what?We got

some women coming over. Your party's

over, man. Uh,

okay. It's cool, dudes. At

my house, I've got a great new D&D video

game. All right, ladies and gentlemen,

Are you

ready to get wild?Yeah. Are you ready to

rock?I'm going to ask you one question.

Are you ready to rock?I can't hear you. I

can't hear you. Ladies and

gentlemen, please welcome. Who

are these guys?Jesus

Lizard. Please

welcome Jesus. Lizards!

I'm pretty good at that. I had to be one

of those guys. I bet I

could do that. Beavis, you would suck.

The audience would, like, start booing

and then the band would kick your assShut

up, butthead. You know, one of my

teachers told me I had special abilities.

DumbassBeavis. ButtholeHe just said that

'cause you're stupid. Oh, really?

These guys aren't too bad for one of

those Jesus bands. Yeah. They

don't really sound like Christian rock

though. Uh, no, I mean like, you know,

for one of those bands that has Jesus in

their name. Oh yeah, yeah there's like

about 900 of those bands, you know,

the Jesus and Mary, Joseph, like



most of them suck.

life.

Okay, here we go, another video. Line 'em

up. Yeah. Yeah, peel

out. Burn rubber, yeah.

Tear assYeah,

fight, fight, fight. Yeah, hit 'em. Kick

the pumpkin. Pick it up, these hippies

are gonna smash the pumpkin. Uh, no.

Hippies never break stuff.

What about that Gallagher dude?Oh yeah.

He's like really irritating and he's not

very funny. Yeah, yeah, really. And

that's pretty cool 'cause he starts

smashing stuff. Yeah, like you have to

sit through all the stuff that doesn't

make any sense and it's like he starts

breaking stuff and like throwing stuff at

the audience. Yeah.

Uh, that's good, shaving cream on the

van. Yeah, throwing eggs. Very nice. Ohmy

god! It's like, I don't understand toilet

papering someone's house. It's like,

you're just doing them a favor. Yeah,

really. I wish someone would toilet paper

my house. I've been wiping my butt with

newspaper for about a month.

Yeah. I've been using this

washcloth. Oh ohh yeah, yeah I've been

using that same washcloth, man.

Whoa. Todd is cool.

Yeah. He broke everything. That must have

been a cool party. Yeah.

Maybe next time he'll let us stay. Yeah,

yeahHey. Hey, girls.

Uh, Todd. Hey, man.

So, like, did you have a good time at our

party?Yeah, yeahI just wanted to let you

know that, uh, you guys owe me 50

bucks for expenses. I will be by later.

Pick it up.

He must have had a really good time.

Yeah. We'll have to throw another party.

Yeah. It's a good thing we had

plenty of hard stuff. Yeah. We just need

to make sure it's cold next time. Yeah.

Hey, no shoes, no shirt, no service.

Those are the rules. Now, get the hell

out of my store.

The asswife I will beat?He didn't say

asswife, he said housewife. Sounded like

an asswife to me, buddy. Eh.. Who

cares, Beavis?

Whoa! I think he's saying get your g*n. I

think this is one of those stop the

violence things. You know, like, enough

is enough. You know, um, they really

should, you know, stop the violence.

Sometimes it, like, hurts, you knowIt's

like, maybe, you know, like, if they give

peace, um, a chance, and, like, like..

Ow! Shut up, butt-it! Shut up, Beavis,

I'm trying to watch this. Damn it,butt-it!

Damn it, Beavis. Damn it, butt-it.

I'm just trying to say, like, you know,

like if they stop the violence, then...

Ow! Now quit acting like a damn wuss,

Beavis, or I'm gonna get medieval on your

a*s