02x03 - Yurusanê ze

[bunniefuu]

[energy surging]

[gasps]

[snarls]

Huh?

[spirits screaming]

[echoing crash]

- [groans]
- [gasps] Okarun!

- [Momo yelps]
- [Jiji grunts]

[energetic music playing]

Whoa!

Another yōkai protecting humans!

What has this world come to?

I'm gonna get ya for smackin' Momo.

- Count on it!
- [Momo whimpering]

[both grunt]

[whooshing]

[Momo gasps]

[yells]

[grunts]

[sighs]

[grunts and screams]

[grunting]

Hmm.

[music fades]

EPISODE 15: YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!

Thanks for savin' me. That was close!

Yeah, well. We ain't outta the woods yet.

- Uh… Oh.
- [soft hissing]

What the hell is that?

Yo, I read that Mongolian Death Worms
weaken their victims with electric shocks

and spraying highly toxic venom.

[Momo] Freakin' coward.

Oh, hidin' underground
and fartin' poison at us?

If we don't escape from here fast,
we're done for.

Okay, I'm all for gettin' out.

But the way out's too high up to reach!

- Does the worm have a weakness?
- It hates sunlight!

Underground dwellers and cryptids,
like the Mongolian Death Worm,

have a symbiotic coexistence
with bacteria.

So they can't handle exposure
to the sun's UV rays!

How are we supposed to lure
a giant worm all the way out there?

Oh, we're so screwed!

And what are we gonna do about Jiji?
We can't leave him.

I might be able to get you out of here,
but only you.

Huh? That's no good.

What's the point
if only one of us gets out?

We don't have a choice.
That's our only option.

- Uh…
- We're out of time.

Once you're up top, find some rope.
Then you can use it to pull us up.

What are you gonna do about Jiji?
He won't come peacefully, that's for sure.

Don't you worry. I can take care of him.

- Uh…
- Please!

You need to get out first,
and then you can save us.

It's the only way!

- [gentle music playing]
- [snorts]

Uh…

[gasps]

[Momo] I promise I'll save you.

Go easy on Jiji.

Okay!

If you're ready, Momo.

Let's do this.

[Momo yelps] Wha… what's the plan, again?

[Okarun] I'm gonna
launch you straight up, yo.

Then you launch yourself higher
with your ghost hands.

What?

[Okarun] Think of it
like a two-stage rocket.

[Momo] You're out of your mind!

- And you'll break your legs.
- Here we go.

- Three…
- [yelps] Uh… hold on!

- [whimpers] I ain't ready!
- [Okarun] Two. One.

[wailing]

[dynamic music playing]

[groaning]

[screams] Help!

Damn it!

[whimpers]

[yelps]

I… can't… reach… it!

[screams]

[groaning]

Thank goodness! She made it!

- [Jiji] There you are.
- Huh?

Congratulations.

You shall be the first human I will k*ll.

I don't think so, dude.

I promised you an a*s-whuppin'.

[Momo panting]

[groaning]

Oww. I made it.

[grunts]

Gah! There ain't no rope here!

What else, then? What's long enough?

Need to find something.

Uh… That'll do!

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Come on! Hurry!

Heads up, guys!

Oh, it's too short!

Son of a… Ugh! This ain't gonna work.

Calm down. Think.
There's gotta be another way.

Gotta stop the poison.

Gotta k*ll the worm.

How can I do the impossible?

[dramatic music playing]

[insects chirping]

[inaudible]

[gasps]

Yeah. By suicide.

My phone. I lost it!

Oh, nice job, dummy.

MANGO PAGE

This'll do.

[dramatic music playing]

[trembling]

Fire!

Someone help me!
Call the fire department!

It's a fire! Help!

- [sirens approaching]
- Sirens!

Hang on, Okarun. Help is on the way.

[song in Japanese playing]

DAN DA DAN

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan… ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan… ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan Da Dan, Da Dan… ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

[crashing]

[growls]

[growls]

[roars]

[snarls]

- [growls]
- [grunts]

- [Jiji] Yah!
- [grunts]

- [clang]
- Huh?

[yelps]

[both grunting]

[spirits screaming]

[yelps]

[Jiji roars]

[gasps]

[Jiji roars]

[grunts]

All your hopping around and
dodging my attacks is beyond irritating.

[panting] Hah.

[Jiji] But then again, when I play a game,
I like to take it seriously

and use the muscles in my body
to their fullest.

Huh. [sniffs]

Hmm.

The worm is poisoning the air.

And it is taking a toll on this vessel.

Unfortunately, playtime is over.

[Okarun grunts]

[spirits wailing]

[Okarun gasps]

[wailing continues]

[grunting]

[deep, eerie humming]

[gasps]

[wailing fades]

[humming intensifies]

[bells jingle]

[cracking]

[Jiji] You cannot escape
that cursed house. Ever.

[spirits wailing]

Cozy, is it not?

[Okarun grunts]

[breathing heavily]

- [Jiji grunts]
- [Okarun yelps]

[groaning]

[laughing maniacally]

How exhilarating!

After you are done, it is the girl's turn.

I'll t*rture her soft young flesh

over and over

and ov...

[Okarun] Ya talk way too much.

[music fades]

I'm a chill guy usually,

but ya did three things
ya shouldn't have.

The first was, you hit Momo.

And the second was…

[eerie music playing]

…you polluted a friend of mine.

Jiji would never, ever hit Momo.

But he didn't. You did.

Give back Jiji.

Give back my friend right now!

[Jiji roars]

[grunts]

[sounds slow and distort]

[Okarun roars]

[Jiji groans]

[dynamic music playing]

[snarls]

[Okarun] I'm goin' all out.

One!

Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,



One! Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,



One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,



One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,



One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,



[Jiji moaning]

[music stops]

Twenty!

[glass shattering]

[glass tinkling gently]

[tinkling fades]

[spirits' voices fading]

[Okarun] In all this excitement,
I didn't finish what I was sayin'.

The third thing
you shouldn't have done is piss me off.

That totally bummed me out, man…

[whimpers]

[sighs]

[breathing shakily]

Miss Ayase…

[sobs weakly] Help.

[debris falling gently]

[grunts]

Dang it! There's no time
to be lying around unconscious.

[gasps]

Miss Ayase's up there waiting for me.

I have to climb up higher,
so it's easier for her to help us escape.

Huh?

[Okarun grunting]

[straining] So… heavy!

- [Turbo Granny shrieks] b*stard!
- Huh?

[Turbo Granny] Don't let… them up…

- You mother… [continues indistinctly]
- Uh…

[Turbo Granny wailing]

[shouting indistinctly]

Son of a b*tch!

It's like frickin' glue!

Come on, let me go! Let me go!

Oh, you rotten worm!
I'm gonna kick your long wormy a*s!

I'll k*ll ya!

[sighs]

I'm gonna be stuck for all eternity
in g*dd*mn worm goop.

Help me!

Somebody help me!

[Okarun] I knew that was your voice!

- [Turbo Granny gasps]
- I thought you were with Miss Ayase.

- [whimpers]
- Hang on a sec.

I'll get you out of that stuff.

Hurry up, will ya?

[Okarun sighs]

Something to stand on…

Ooh, there! Those'll work.

[straining]

[squelch]

About time ya came back, ya b*stard.

Pull me outta here. Hurry up!

Don't rush me.
If I fall in, we're both stuck!

Ugh, you whiny four-eyed punk.

[grunts]

[both straining]

Don't fall in!

Don't fall in!

Don't you dare fall in!

[whimpering]

- [Turbo Granny screeches]
- [Okarun gasps]

- [both grunt]
- [squelching]

[Turbo Granny] Ya big fat butt-nugget!
You're such a useless piece of crap!

[shrieks] Now I'm stuck!

- [whining]
- Of course you are, ya jackass!

Use my power and get us outta here!

I already used it twice,
so I can't transform for a while.

Nice goin', stupid! Now we're both dead!

- Momo!
- Miss Ayase!

[both wailing] Get us out of here!

- [flames roaring]
- [gasps]

[man 1] Look at that!

- [man 2] No, no.
- [man 3] Stand back!

- So, are you the one who started the fire?
- Huh?

Yeah, I did, but you gotta listen!

There's this family called the Kitos,

and they've been murdering folks
in that house for years!

The Enjojis are the family
that rents this house.

You torch it out of revenge or something?

What? Dude, did you hear
what I just said about the Kitos?

[Tsuru] You can tell me again
down at the station.

Go on, get in the car.

[Momo] Uh…

[Tsuru sighs] We're gonna have
to call your parents.

- [man 3] Stand back. It's dangerous.
- [thinks] Oh, crap.

Gotta hurry before the sun sets.

- Yo, firefighters! Forget the house!
- [Tsuru] Huh?

You've gotta be soakin' the ground!

- Aim at the ground and soak it!
- [Tsuru] All right! Gah!

- [Momo yells]
- [Tsuru] Ma'am, please!

- Forget the house!
- [Tsuru] Calm down.

- Let go of me! Yo, firefighters!
- [Tsuru] Do you want the cuffs?

- [Momo] Spray the water on the ground!
- [Tsuru] Stop!

- [Momo] The ground!
- [low, eerie moaning]

[all gasp]

[people whimpering]

- [man 4] Earthquake!
- [man 5] It's a big one!

[Tsuru] And it's getting
stronger and stronger!

Keep calm!

[man 6] Don't move till the shaking stops!

[rumbling]

- [rumbling quietens]
- Run!

[shrieks]

[man 7] What the hell's that?

[screeches]

[people yelling]

[screaming]

- [man 8] Get outta here!
- [man 9] We're gonna die!

Oh yeah! Right in the nick of time!

Cryptids that live under the ground
hate sunlight.

Since I couldn't force it to the surface,
I had to make it come up here on its own.

[child] Check out the worm.

Sometimes they come up and dry out.
You know why?

Nope. No idea.

An earthworm's gotta breathe
through its skin.

The day after a big rain,
the ground gets all full of water,

making it hard for worms to breathe.

[Momo] Hmm.

The worms start to suffocate,
so they come up to the surface.

And if it's a hot summer day,
poor things end up drying out.

Wow. You know everything.

[Jiji] There's even a name for it.
"Worm suicide."

[eerie humming]

[Great Serpent screeching]

[Momo] Hmm?

- Huh?
- [groaning]

Oh, hell no!

Damn house!

[dynamic music playing]

It was trashed anyway!

Buh-bye, house!

[screeching]

[Momo] Whoa!

[sizzling]

[creaking]

[squelching]

[debris falling]

Uh…

[echoing thud]

[gurgling groan]

[growling]

Hah!

Did I k*ll it?

[grunts]

[grunts]

Yo, worm! Is that all you got?

What's wrong, you chicken? Get up!

[creaking]

[shrieks]

[screaming] It moved!

[Momo whimpering]

[gasps]

[bubbling]

[coughing]

[Kitos groaning]

[Naki moans]

- [wheezing]
- It's a… a miracle!

Look, Ma! I… I'm alive!

- [Momo] Whoa!
- [Naki grumbles]

You're not digested. Good for you guys.

[Naki] Damn you. How dare you?

Why are you mad at me? The worm ate you.

[Naki] God damn it!

[snorts] I'm talking about how you
went and k*lled the Great Serpent, moron!

I'm not the one who got eaten by a worm.

- [Kitos groaning]
- [Momo] Whatever.

I ain't wastin' time with you jerk-offs.

Gotta find Okarun and the others.

- Oh! Whoa! Another quake!
- [rumbling]

- [Naki grumbling]
- [man whimpering]

Uh-oh. It's bigger!

- You've gone and done it now!
- [gasps]

Now the whole village is gonna die,

and it's all your fault, ya dummy!

Uh… Huh?

[all screaming]

[gasps]

Oh, come on!

DAN DA DAN

[song in Japanese playing]

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH

NAMES OF PEOPLE [INCLUDING THE ACTOR
KEN TAKAKURA] AND ORGANIZATIONS.

[Okarun] Miss Ayase! Do you know why

earthworms come to the surface
after it rains?

- [Momo] What?
- [Okarun] They breathe with their skin!

- If the ground is soaked, they come...
- [Momo] I know! I heard it from Jiji.

- [Okarun] When there are too many worms...
- [Momo] I know, I know!

Next episode! "That's, Like, Way Deadly."