01x23 - The Amazon

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

James a Mitchner adventures in

Paradise starring Garder McCay as Adam [Music] Troy the Amazon guest on s Elizabeth

Scott Tom Drake Claude Aken Peter

Thompson brought to you by every satisfying pu air softened

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

look we could saell from Papa yet they circle ride and be back in 3 days are

you g*ng Carla what's the point we've just finished the longest race in the world isn't that enough if the star of

Leader's not in neither is Moonglow nor seamate we won't the results until they

tie up that could take three or 4 days right Captain Troy she's right judge sometimes it is 3 or 4 days before the

winners are announc you see what are we going to do sit around in dck second rate hotel rooms biting our nails I'm

not biting my nails Carla I won wait a minute Jud suppose we let the judges decide

that have it your way my dear I still say impulse is the winner and your conqueror a close second but second

nonetheless what about it Captain Troy would we have good wind around R TAA you

have very good wind around R TAA but you have also plenty of reefs and those reefs have been the graveyard for plenty of ships now I'm really

interested you're afraid no not afraid Carla just just tired my Crews been in

see for 3 weeks they're not ready to head out on some wild idea just to save you from

boorom that's a laugh after all the years we were married Dr huni you tell

me I get bored maybe you've forgotten just which one of us that's enough Carla Adam Troy

has been my friend for a long time but I won't let you air our dirty Linen in front of him I'm

sorry the race around Rota Reese and all would be a pretty good test of the

script's ability wouldn't it Captain Dr as good a test as any

Carla my father built the coner you once said she was the finest racing y in the whole world

I'll bet her against your boot Jud winner take off bet the

Conqueror Carla are you out of your [Music]

mind you think you won the Tahiti race well I don't but just to settle the matter once and for all let's have our

own private race you and me your vote against mine if I lose I won't want to

sail anymore [Music]

anyway all right Carla maybe you need this

[Music] race the flower of Los Angeles and Rex

husand I love mckin as I live and breathe

toughest Skipper the site of of fut you're drunk Joo and I did Lady Captain the name

happens to be Jack but she insists on calling me Jacko

Jack was the name why Lady Captain do I call you

claro or him J or him what's your name d Gro Haro now take

it easy what are you ladies of mate did you

know that I was the first mate on the Conqueror that's right

first not really first if you know what I mean Joo shut up I might have been first if I had his looks but then I I

wouldn't want you looks CU I don't like you

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

Captain Troy meet jock Underhill my

fiance well it's what I've always said about high society and you take those characters

never did a day's work in their lives and what can you expect o some people

raise horses some people raise cars these people race Yachts I saw conquer

the third tied up at the Docks do you know what that y' must have cost Adam probably in the neighborhood of

$100,000 can you imagine anybody betting that kind of money on a race Captain

tro Captain Troy can I talk to you for a moment

well Captain aren't you going to ask me

aboard of course I'm going to ask you aboard Come

Aboard very interesting ship captain very unusual not so unusual it's a typical

Island Schooner built in Maine about 40 years ago you see a lot of them out here in the Pacific lugging cargo a but so

much character there's something so essentially deep water about her don't you

agree what do you want Mr Kinley you didn't come aboard to talk about the T I came to apologize to tell you how

sorry I am about the embarrassing incident yesterday well now that's very nice of you but you need to bother oh

but I must after all two of my men were involved my former husband and my husband be how many men do you have

none I gave up men when I went down to the Sea and

ships mind if I look around why not I'll get back to my

chores who does she think she is Queen Victoria I knew her ex-husband Curry is

a doctor in Los Angeles now she's a pretty good sailor but she's one every your major yach event the West

Coast that one I've got to admit I cook chow in her

Galley any day of the week don't be too sure I hear she's a pretty tough Skipper can you imagine calling a de

like that Captain somehow I can

Captain if you'll uh forgive my suggesting it your bright work could use another coat of varnish I recommend cpar

number s uh this is my partner Oliver wend key

Carla McKinley how do you do how do you do ma'am in the islands we use whatever Spar Varnish we can

get when I get back to Los Angeles I'll ship you a c you'll like

it Captain I was surprised at the excellent

stock in your ship store here in papay Miss McKinley you didn't come aboard to

talk about Spar on us you didn't come aboard to apologize what do you want

will you offer me a drink captain it'll bring us to the point of your visit you get the whole botle this

way very well we dispense with the niceties tomorrow morning at 0800 I'll

sail the coner up the channel and rendevu with Jud huner 2 mes off turn re for the start of the race around ryot

that's right but unfortunately most of my crew don't seem to be interested in making the trip but I can't say I blame

them after 3 weeks at se therefore I'm shorthanded Jud and I agreed to make it even to sail with a compliment of four

on each ship I have myself Sam kale and Jo Gale here you want say that's

right I want you to be number four Miss McKinley this might come as a surprise

to you but I make a living out of saing but you know these Waters Captain your experience is

invaluable I'm perfectly willing to pay you I'm Not For Hire you're making this

very difficult no I want to make it impossible in other words you refuse to sail with

me all right I'll spell it out for you on the tiki sales I make money when she stays in Port I don't isn't that rather

sentimental just practical there's more money in carrying cargo than there is in hourly wages but you haven't even heard

how much I'll pay you by the hour mckeny oh hi Miss mckeny down here

kale what is it I've been looking all over for you

Skipper now what bad news Skipper we were checking the boat out for the race tomorrow when we discovered it

discovered what cracked maintenance what did you say that's right Skipper we must

have cracked it when we blew out our Spiner 100 miles out remember of all the stupid idiotic muddle-headed things to

find out 2 days after we You' been in Port we Sorry Skipper hon us we checked that ship from stem to stern if I hadn't

been polishing the ventilators next to the mask we never would have found it I've heard better explanations from a 2-year-old uh Miss McKinley I'd say you

were out of the race that's what you would say captain it's not what I would

say captain how much do you charge to Charter the tiki race the tiki why Miss

McKinley you're seing enough to know better than that think he's a cargo boat she'd be me she's old she doesn't even

have a complete suit of six why in again she only does 89 I didn't ask for a description of your boat captain how

much to Charter her for three days $11,000 a

day I'll pay

it but you wouldn't have a chance of winning let me decide that Captain I've met your price is it a deal

well that I'll have to think over and one more thing when I'm in a race I'm captain that must be absolutely clear

you Skipper the tiki it's not at all unusual for a captain to come aboard another man's ship and take command in

race isn't that correct Captain that's correct very well those

are my terms $3,000 for 3 days you will be my fourth crew member

I'm in command I'll expect an answer by 6:00

[Music]

tonight busy well

Adam don't get up to what do I owe the honor of this unexpected visit your former wife paid

me a visit Cara aboard the tiki she wants to race the tiki against you the

tiki what's wrong with the Conqueror the third conqueror cracked a main Mast was just discovered Yesterday by a crewman

Adam I suppose I could say it's stupidity to race the tiki against anything I might even be so bold as to

call it Madness but frankly Adam it's neither one it's simply Carla McKinley and her

need to to win but judge he doesn't stand a chance every sailing race is handicapped Adam we know that we never

really know who's won Until the Last Ship is in you want Carla to race the

Tinky well I know this is difficult to understand Adam Carla and I were married for 5

years and I'd say the first four were the happiest of my life then a strange thing happened oh it

was just one of those odd coincidences that the change a life sit down

ad while we were entered in the Acapulco race one of my best friends took sick he

had a fine ship and he had his crew all picked out but there was nobody to skip her so as a lark Carla asked if she

could take command and race against me well at the time it sounded like a fun idea we both laughed about

it well she beat me at him badly she won because she raced harder and she

raced better from that time on racing became her allc consuming passion and

winning an obsession she always won our home became nothing more than a

warehouse for her trophies when she found she couldn't put me up on the Shelf alongside the others she became

dissatisfied you told me yesterday you won the race out here she came in second

Adam I think that's why Carla has challenged me to this race around ryota she's afraid she did

lose you see there was an accident aboard the Conqueror the third on the way to Tahiti really Carla was trying to

take advantage of a stiff breeze she deliberately jbed the boom swung over and knocked one of her crew

overboard the Conqueror had to come about and pick him up but it cost Carla a precious 30

minutes Adam let Carla Charter the tiki I'm going to give her every allowance I

can I'm going to lean over backwards in handicapping your ship and then Adam I've got to beat

her has winning become your obsession to no that's the only way I can win her

[Music] back hello Miss McKinley hello I'm very glad you decided to

accept my offer Captain I assure you you won't regret it at least not financy oh

Stow that stuff out Olie will show you the quarters I want to go over the sales with you uh have you a Spiner nope uh

how about a Gena no Gena I've got a complete list of the sales below I want the engine taken

out what it's dead we it'll slow us down and we don't need it now just a minute

that's an order Captain aren't you stepping a little bit out of line Miss McKinley will you get it through your handsome head that I didn't enter this

race for the Seer and I didn't Charter the tiki to have her ripped apart now once we're in the race you can take over

but until then she's my ship is that clear nonetheless I it's

final very well Captain have it your way where's the S

list it's on the chart table below hi Adam well you can find it

you're a big

girl oh what more can I say Adam except this time I'm glad I'm staying on the beach don't worry about me Ollie I've

seen worse yeah but not in skirts no f r I'll see you when I get back

right sorry it's okay all right I think where we met

before I'm not sure where it's on the cabin floor of the impulse oh well I

didn't think it was just a rum that makes me feel like this anyway my name is dock Underhill in case you've

forgotten I couldn't forget Mr Underhill I'll call me chck I imagine you're Adam Troy captain and I uh I'd sincerely like

to apologize apology accepted call me Adam well now that we've got that out of

the way Adam uh where do I store my gear in your quarters I'll take you below oh

good W good morning lady Skipper happy to be aboard good morning I'm glad to see you made it

Joo in there

you know you seem like a good fellow Ado so we may as well dispense with the

preliminaries a little display of affection out there between Carl and

myself that just about sums up our relationship you see I am what Carla

grabbed when Jud walked out on her Jud walked out on Carla the noer is to

leer there we are now to make matters a little more

pleasant have ourselves a

drink [Music]

serious there's the impulse [Music]

Skipper making good time she's got to be making 12 knots the H

speed's 148 in case you're interested how do you know that I want to I design

her you see Captain Troy Mr Underhill is one of the best Naval architects in the business he designed both the impulse

and the conquer no matter who wins the Tahiti jock can't lose or can't win

[Music] we're at the starting line Captain I'll

take command she's all yours Captain she's all

[Music]

[Applause]

yours impulse this is Tiki impulse this is Tiki how do you read me over

Tiki this is impulse I read you 5x five over impulse this is Tiki now there's an

Old Navy expression if I've ever heard one I read you 5x five would you mind skipping the boy Scott routine and

finding out his position uh Jud there's a there's a captain on board who wants to know your

position [Music] over Tiki this is impulse I have just

passed poui Reef 2,000 yard off my starboard beam over we've been at Sea

Less Than 3 hours and he's already 4 miles ahead of us you didn't expect the tiki to stay up with the impulse on an

even basis did you oh I don't believe in counting on handicaps Captain we'll change course there's no need to pass

2,000 yards off the wreath dad's only doing it cuz it's safer then he ought to be riding a tricycle I'm giving orders to leave The

Reef 500 yard off the port beam [Music]

might I in come

ahead oh joy all right

yeah among my other Sterling qualities I have an uler and ulcers and whiskey do

not mix then why drink

you see this Carla gave it to me guarantees good luck so I have nothing to worry

about Why'd You Come on the race trck did you ever here of a naval

architect who could afford his own boat I've been designing racing craft for so

long I uh well I figured it was by the time I made the trip myself you're

lying yeah as you're right I came because of

Carla ever since I met her I well there's been no other woman for me and

somehow somehow I I thought if I made this trip why I

wonder my dear friend did you realize it's almost known and I haven't had a drink yet

[Music]

I can see Jug's lights it can't be too far ahead of

us what's your course 280 good we'll hold it until

midnight that's in 15 minutes why don't you go below wake jock and kale for the midnight

watch you don't like the way I treat J do you you that's his

problem you wouldn't like to have the same problem would you Captain Troy no I

wouldn't did it ever occur to you that I might be a very normal woman who's simply looking for a man I'm not so sure

you'd recognize one if you found one you didn't the last time you're all alike aren't you the minute a woman becomes

sure of herself you become afraid what you're all looking for are clinging Vines not

women uh what are you looking for M McKinley ready to relieve the watch Skipper how we making out we're gaining

on you mister I'm sure you know how to run

your boat but you've never seen a skipper like Miss McKinley this little lady can turn a ship inside

out thank you kale of course too

too we are gaining on them of course we are why do you think I insisted on

passing the reefs close to be about 6:00 this morning we'll be in the main body of the riota reefs watch

yourself we might find ourselves in among them are you telling me how to run this race Captain I'm not telling you

anything an intelligent SE Captain wouldn't ordinarily know only in your case I don't think intelligence has

anything to do with it K you think I'm a good Skipper don't

you best there is man or woman you know kale

sometimes I think Captain Troy wants us to lose who cares

baby what did you say who cares skipper

[Music]

[Music] midnight the witching hour time for

witches to be on watch witch watch The Witch watch the mer mer witch watch

[Music]

watch out for the witch you shouldn't go on deck in your condition thank you my friend will you

take your hands off me now Look it's one thing to lose a woman it's

another thing to blame her for your worries ah now we've come full

circle you're just like the rest of us aren't you what the devil are you talking about who would you spell at

first at first you hardly realize what's happening to you you find yourself defending

you find yourself admiring the very things you first disliked you see

Ado I've been there you better sleep at all yes you better listen to me why don't you listen

to a veteran do you know what Carla is she is a Sleek well-groomed Tigress

maning shark and Amazon why she chews men up and spits them out and I've

watched the what looking you I've seen all the

signs you are next brother you are

next the wi wi I've come to relieve you lady

Skipper again I've only had a find of so you see I meure very care

carefully you're no condition to stand watch please go

below would you like a surprise [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

test watch sh

[Music]

wow do I passor tesle Jo when are you going to stop behaving like a child oh

it's daysy Troy and I will relieve you at

0600 if there's any trouble meanwhile call me nothing I can Handle by

myself what's the matter Captain don't you trust me just checking we'll clear the reefs by a good

500 yard and gain an hour on the impulse we may gain an hour and we might lose a

ship don't worry Captain if anything happens I'll buy you a new one

hey want a drink I forgot you're

Square don't push me Mr Underhill you know come to think of

it you are just the right kind of a man for Carl all muscles and no gray man

you're asking for trouble mister yeah I always ask for trouble where I'm drinking

what's what is the matter why is a great big strong he man like you taking taking

orders from a lady Skipper you know if I had your body with

my mind I asked you to

stop and then on the other hand if you had my mind what a horrible thought

now listen you may think I'm pretty dumb and that's your business you

understand I don't like being pushed around all right all right Mr musle

youve made your [Music]

point here you see Mr musles

[Music]

no

G I don't think you're Skipper would like it if she caught you brawling on watch it wasn't my fault he started it

he's unable to speak for himself just now well he hit me first I swear he did get him below

[Music]

what happened we started a fight somebody knocked somebody out he figured out all right kale let's have it he kept

pushing me Skipper I warned him he wouldn't [Music]

stop oh my stomach my

stomach he's hurt of course he's hurt I'm sorry Skipper I warned him he tries

that again I'll k*ll him go back on watch kale yes

[Music]

ma'am something's happening inside right man you'll be all right

no something's happening inside my stomach that actually all I

know just believe me you got to do

something you'll be all

right where did you get K he was a pickup hand how long have you known him

a few weeks maybe a month I watched him work over jock he's a pro knowing Jock when he's drinking he

probably asks for it all right I'm radioing the impul returning back what I said we're going back to Pap Over My

Dead [Music]

Body impulse this is Tiki can you read me impulse this is Tiki can you read me over I'm in command here I for did youo

is a very sick man you mean he drank too much I think he's hemorrhaging figure it out Captain a man who has an ulcer and

lives on alcohol is bound to have some kind of reaction is that all it means to you by tomorrow morning he'll wake up with nothing more than a hangover and by

noon he'll start drinking all over again I can't agree with you miss McKinley oh I didn't know you had a medical degree I

don't need a degree to know a sick man impulse this is TIY can you read me over did it ever occur to you that at this

hour of the night they might not have anyone monitoring the radio

all right reach them in the morning but we're turning around now when the race is over Captain not before that's three

more days Jock's Heming badly I've seen him this way before nobody asked him to drink like a fish are you willing to

take the responsibility for his life oh why why am I always cursed with

weak men [Music]

hello lady Skipper Jo are you all right of

course and got a little drink we were worried about

you it would take more than that big oath to finish me off really Jo tell me

the truth Adam Troy wants us to turn back to

papay what do you want that's why I'm here to ask you if you

think we should my dear Miss mcle

uh I've never made an important decision in my

life I can't make it for you J how do I know how you really feel so then it

rests with me if I say turn around then the race is

lost little Carl their heart's broken I'll get over it like you the

Jud jocky I guess there's no point in kidding each

other it just hasn't worked out for us has it

nope I knew that a week ago Jo after Jud left me I didn't know where

to turn for the first time in my life I was lost I I was really

alone it was lucky for me I wish I'd given you a fairish

shake jocky it's hard for me to say this

but I'd rather lose the race than have anything happen to you I really mean it

but it's up to you to make the decision

all right you take it from the horse's mouth I have an acute

attack of Hangover then you really want me to go on with

it lady Skipper will you get out of here and let me get some rest

[Music]

look Mister you're wasting your time and mine I take orders from my Skipper and nobody else look will you get her

through your thick skull we've got a sick man on board you know something I once k*lled a man that's a fact it was

in a fight in Frisco I broke his neck with my bare hand you know what they

gave me suspended sentence they call it self-defense all right stop it no wa

kale mind your

hell there's nothing wrong with jock under him now you're a doctor I know I just talked to him he wants to go on

with the race he's got nothing more than a hangover and you believe that if you think I'm lying Captain why don't you

ask him yourself and Captain don't try to radio

the impulse just in case you might try to talk Jud into canceling

race dark told me you're an Amazon that's not the good word Cannibal's a

better

word kale do you want to win this race sure I

do why not they may try to stop us tonight I'll keep this Helm just as long

as you want me to and nobody would you telling me what to do I like that about you KO I like it a

lot you know why because you're a man a real

[Music] man you mean

that of course [Music]

[Music] w [Music]

kale kale I need a doctor I'm sick you can't hold your liquor

Mister you don't understand I lied to Carla I knew how badly she wanted to win

the race I knew you were chicken too that's got nothing to do with

courage he you I just don't want to die Mr I've heard of guys that can't

hold that liquor but you take the cake hey I have got a not sir when you hit me

in the stomach something happened to me is that a fact I have got to have a

doctor s it to the Marines don't you understand I am bleeding inside I need help go to

bed you you stupid

fool kale I I couldn't take another being you

said anything about a beating you're trying to stop us from winning aren't you the race doesn't make any difference

now ask Carla she'll explain it to you she doesn't want me to die she said you'd try to stop us from winning Carla

doesn't want to win that battle you ask her she'll tell you she'll tell you she'll tell you to

turn [Music] around taale taale put me down

[Music] car car [Music]

when you going to do it tonight I guess what time about 10: what you going to

use di so that I wouldn't take a bat without it

hot water boy you know why I use dial because the big Society Dames uses it

because it keeps me smelling like a rose bud don't you use no deodorant don't

have to with di that at7 knocks off all them skin bacteria that caused

perspiration odor how about scrub me back H pipe the color pink to match your

eyes dial also comes in gorgeous aqua and glittering gold you know

and another thing there's nothing like a nice hot bat with dial to make a busy

man forget his troubles aren't you glad you used dial

don't you wish everybody did [Music]

good morning good morning I've been topside I've seen the lights of the impulse she's behind

us well there'll be no living with the old girl now we've gained on Jud during the last 4 hours that's all you wanted

isn't it that's not enough we're changing course come [Music]

on you're Rel kale okay Skipper did Mr end Hill stand his watch

now he said he wasn't feeling good so I told him it was okay to go below you don't need me Skipper I think I'll hit

the sa no I don't need

you what do you think you're doing our course is 290 that'll put us on the reefs no it won't Captain I checked our

position on the charts we'll clear them by 200 y you're relieve the command of the Tiki

of all the sidling fighting cows shut up and take a look I said take a [Music]

look those are reefs lady Skipper another five more minutes on this course we be in among them but I thought you

didn't think I don't know where this great seamanship is you're supposed to have but you ought to be beats for

[Music] light now go below and take a look at jerk

[Music]

Jack Jack

jock [Music]

jock [Music] jock [Music]

jock jock where is he come here baby where's jock I can't

find him oh he's probably drunk and sleeping it off somewhere forget him I

tell you he's not on board I've searched everywhere when did you see him last

what did he do when you saw him I don't know he was drinking

drinking but he couldn't he was too

sick Samuel that's what you wanted wasn't it baby he kept yelling to turn back he was

chicken Troy would have heard him my Skipper want to keep

going what's the matter he can swim oh

no [Music]

no let go me fight me baby let's go me

[Music]

[Music] Captain TR Jack is dead kale k*lled

Jack watch the Rees get out of my way she's mine

[Music]

help [Music]

he's gone there's nothing more we can do we'll continue on

course the race is over [Music]

Captain look the impulse we better get below monitor the

radio J will figure we're in trouble to try to contact us

[Music]

Tiki this is impo can you read me Tiki this is impulse can you read me

over Tiki this is impulse can you read me

over this is Tiki over you are swinging close to the reefs has anything happened

over there's nothing wrong Jud continue on course

[Music] over in consideration of our findings

our records will show that Jack on the hill was m*rder*d by Sam kale Sam Kale's death be found accidental I'll give

instructions Captain Troy to release your boat well thank you very much

inspector my congratulations the Tai race you one magnificently on corrected

time you were 2 hours and 47 minutes ahead of the runnerup thank you inspector

tro and you too madam there is nothing wrong in being

second my congratulations you're very good

this arrived in today's mail there was no need to transfer a title I didn't win the

Conqueror you lied to me on the radio the race ended at the [Music]

reefs for me everything ended at the reefs I can still hear Jock's voice

take it from the horse's mouth honey I'm suffering from an acute case of

hangover and I bought that you couldn't have known he was so

sick I didn't want to know and can you imagine what I said to

him at a time like that I told him he and I were

through Carla I believe our course is

sent well since the skipper and his first mate are going to be aboard the impulse what happens to the

[Music] Conqueror I don't need her

anymore goodbye Captain Troy goodbye so long

[Music]

in a moment scenes from The Next Adventures in Paradise appearing in the next

adventures in Paradise will be guest stars Jeff Richards and Natalie trundy

[Music]

a wealthy and powerful man offers me $5,000 to find his beautiful young daughter who is eloped with a fortune

hunting flyer well he's a pretty good man with a knife I want Monica back Troy back and

safe I would not do that M private property I should not like to

have to sh**t you for trespassing I have a new song for you

later [Music]

darling you talk too

[Music]

much a desperate search aboard the tiki finally ends in the shark infested waters off a lonely atall in the South

Pacific [Music]

next on adventures in Paradise the violent Journey until then thank you for

watching and ala [Music]

h

all

[Applause] [Music]

this is a picture of a man at work you call that work sure when you're a glamour photographer and a handsome

Bachelor to boot keeping the girls away can be a full-time job ask Bob Cummings

love that Bob yes love that Bob starring Robert Cummings that laugh fill

television Lark packed with a pel of pulcritud inous Pretties loaded with a dazzling array of guest stars such as M

voran Peter Lawford Harry vonel and George Burns hi better go long no no see I

always need somebody here in the office but Zelda hasn't had any experience well I'll see that you get something I better

go along honey you have nothing to worry about I won't ask you to do anything you're not equipped to do he's the

dreamiest what did you say I said love that Bob that's right love that Bob

every weekday afternoon on ABC TV

[Music]

About Faces starring Ben Alexander what's the most interesting thing about

people their faces of course and that's what our show is all about About Faces

About Faces is a show filled with heart and humor with drama and suspense with

the unexpected and the unusual and above all entertainment you'll see faces from

Here There and Everywhere maybe even your face each weekday new surprises

will come your way fascinating faces from the past familiar faces from the present and the faces of famous guests

it's the show with the built-in surprises in which we put our best face forward so I hope you'll be watching

about faces every weekday on ABC TV

[Music]

James a Mitchner adventures in

Paradise starring Gardener McCay as Adam [Music] Troy the Amazon get Stars Elizabeth

Scott Tom Drake Claude

Aken Peter Thompson brought to you

by every satisfying puff air softened

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

look we could sell from Papa circle ride and be back in 3 days are you game Carla

what's the point we've just finished the longest race in the world isn't that enough get the star of leader is not in

neither is Moonglow nor seamate we we won't know the results until they tie up

that could take three or 4 days right Captain Troy she's right judge sometimes it is 3 or 4 days before the winners are

announced you see what are we going to do sit around in dck second rate hotel rooms biting our nails I'm not biting my

nails Carla I won wait a minute Jud suppose we let the judges decide

that have it your way my dear I still say impulse is the winner and your conqueror a close second but second

nonetheless what about it Captain Troy would we have good wind around R TAA you have very good wind around R TAA but you

have also plenty of reefs and those reefs have been the graveyard for plenty of ships now I'm really

interested you're afraid no not afraid Carla just just tired my crew's been at

sea for 3 weeks they're not ready to head out on some wild idea just to save you from

borom that's a laugh after all the years we were married Dr huner you tell me I

get bored maybe you've forgotten just which one of us that's enough Carla Adam Troy has

been my friend for a long time but I won't let you air our dirty Linen in front of him I'm

sorry the race around Rota Reese and all would be a pretty good test to the

sk's ability wouldn't it Captain tro as good a test as any

Carla my father built the coner you once said she was the finest racing y in the whole world

World I'll bet her against your vote Jud win or take off bet the

Conqueror Carla are you out of your [Music]

mind you think you'd won the Tahiti race well I don't but just to settle the matter once and for all let's have our

own private race you and me your vat against mine if I lose I won't want to

sail anymore [Music]

anyway all right Carla maybe you need this

[Music] race the flower of Los Angeles and re

husand I love mckin as I live and breathe

the toughest Skipper the side of of fut you're drunk

Joo am I did Lady Captain the name happens to be Jack but she insists on calling me Jacko

Jacko was the name why Lady Captain do I call you

claro or him J or him what your name d Gro Haro now take

it easy what are you lest mate did you know

that I was the first mate on the Conqueror right

first not really first if you know what I mean Joo shut up I might have been first if I had his looks but then I I

wouldn't want your looks cuz I don't like you

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

Captain Troy meet Jo Underhill my

fiance well it's what I've always said about high society and you take those characters never did a day's work in

their lives and what can you expect o some people raise horses some people raise cars these people race Yachts I

saw conquer the third tied up at the Docks do you know what that Yar must have cost Adam probably in the

neighborhood of $100,000 can you imagine anybody betting that kind of money on a race Captain

tro Captain Troy can I talk to you from

moment well Captain aren't you going to ask me

aboard of course I'm going to ask you a board come

aboard very interesting ship captain very unusual not so unusual it's a typical

Island Schooner built in main about 40 years ago you see a lot of them out in specific lugging cargo a it's so much

character there's something so essentially deep water about her don't you

agree what do you want Mr Kinley you didn't come aboard to talk about the T I came to apologize to tell you how

sorry I am about the embarrassing incident yesterday well now that's very nice of you but you need to bother oh

but I must after all two of my men were involved my former husband and my husband V how many men do you have

none I gave up men when I went down to the Sea and

ships mind if I look around why not I'll get back to my

chores who does she think she is Queen Victoria I knew her ex-husband Curry is

a doctor in Los Angeles now she's a pretty good sailor but she's one every major yach event in the west

coast that that one I've got to admit I had cook chow on

her Galley any day of the week don't be too sure I hear she's a pretty tough Skipper can you imagine calling a Dean

like that Captain somehow I can

Captain if you'll uh forgive my suggesting it your bright work could use another coat of varnish I recommend cpar

number seven uh this is my partner Oliver w key

Carla McKinley how do you do how do you do ma'am in the islands we use whatever Spar Varnish we can

get when I get back to Los Angeles I'll ship you Cate you'll like

it Captain I was surprised at the excellent

stock in your ship store here in papay Miss McKinley you didn't come aboard the

dog of about Spar on us you didn't come aboard to apologize what do you want

will you offer me a drink captain it'll bring us to the point of your visit you get the whole botle this

way very well we dispense with the niceties tomorrow morning at 0800 I'll

sail the conquer up the channel and rendevu with Jud huner 2 mes off turn re for the start of the race around right

by that's right but unfortunately most of my crew don't seem to be interested in making the trip but I can't say I

blame them after 3 weeks at Sea therefore I'm short-handed Jud and I agreed to make it even to sail with a

compliment of four on each ship I have myself Sam kale and Jo Gale here you

want say that's right I want you to be number four Miss

McKinley this might come as a surprise to you but I make a living out of saing but you know these Waters Captain your

experience is invaluable I'm perfectly willing to pay you I'm Not For Hire you're making this

very difficult no I want to make it impossible in other words you refuse to sail with

me all right I'll spell it out through you on the tiki sales I make money when she stays in PT I don't isn't that

rather sentimental just practical there's more money in carrying cargo than there is in hourly wages but you

haven't even heard how much I'll pay you by the hour mcky oh hi Miss mcky down

here K what is it I've been looking all over for you

Skipper now what bad news Skipper we were checking the boat out for the race tomorrow when we discovered it

discovered what cracked maintenance what did you say that's right Skipper we must

have cracked it when we blew out our spener 100 miles out you remember of all the stupid idiotic muddle-headed things

to find out two days after we've been in Port we're sorry Skipper hon us we checked that ship from stem to stern if

I hadn't been polishing the ventilators next to the mask we never would have found it I've heard better explanations from a 2-year-old uh Miss McKinley I'd

say you were out of the race that's what you would say captain it's not what I would

say captain how much do you charge to Charter the tiki race the tiki why Miss

McKinley you're seing enough to know better than that to TI is a cargo boat she'd be me she's old she doesn't even

have a complete suit of sex why in again she only does 899 I didn't ask for a description of your boat captain how

much to Charter her for 3 Days $1,000 a

day I'll pay

it but you wouldn't have a chance of winning let me decide that Captain I've met your price is it a deal

well that I'll have to think over and one more thing when I'm in a race I'm captain that must be absolutely clear

you Skipper the tiki it's not at all unusual for a captain to come aboard another man's ship and take command in

race isn't that correct Captain that's correct very well those

are my terms $3,000 for 3 days you will be my fourth crew member

I'm in command I'll expect an answer by 6:00

[Music]

tonight busy well

Adam don't get up to what do I owe the honor of this unexpected visit your for wife paid me a

visit Cara aboard the tiki she wants to race the tiki against you the

tiki what's wrong with the Conqueror the third conqueror cracked a main Mast was just discovered Yesterday by a crewman l

am I suppose I could say it's stupidity to race the tiki against anything I might even be so bold as to call it

Madness but frankly Adam it's neither one it's simply Carla McKinley and her

need to win but judge he doesn't stand a chance every sailing race is handicapped

Adam we know that we never really know who's won Until the Last Ship is in you

want Carla to race the Tinky well I know this is difficult to understand

Adam Carla and I were married for 5 years and I'd say the first four were

the happiest of my life then a strange thing happened oh

was just one of those odd coincidences that the change of life sit

down while we were entered in the akapulko race one of my best friends took sick he had a fine ship and he had

his crew all picked out but there was nobody to skip her so as a lark Carla asked if she could take command and race

against me well at the time it sounded like a fun idea we both laughed about

it well she beat me at him badly she won because she raced harder and she

raced better from that time on racing became her all consuming passion and

winning an obsession she always won our home became nothing more than a

warehouse for her trophies and when she found she couldn't put me up on the Shelf alongside the others she became

dissatisfied you told me yesterday you won the race out here she came in second

Adam I think that's why Carla has challenged me to this race around Rota she's afraid she did

lose you see there was an accident aboard the Conqueror the third on the way to Tahiti really Carla was trying to

take advantage of a stiff breeze she deliberately jibed the boom swung over and knocked one of her crew

overboard the Conqueror had to come about and pick him up but it cost Carla a precious 30

minutes Adam let Carla Charter the tiki I'm going to give her every allowance I

can I'm going to lean lean over backwards and handicapping your ship and then Adam I've got to beat

her has winning become your obsession too no that's the only way I can win her

[Music] back hello Miss McKinley hello I'm very glad you decided to

accept my offer Captain I assure you you won't regret it at least not financially oh sow that stuff out Olie will show you

the quarters I want to go over the sales with you uh have you a Spiner nope uh

how about a Gena no Genoa I've got a complete list of the sales below I want the engine taken

out what it's dead we it'll slow us down and we don't need it now just a minute

that's in order Captain aren't you stepping a little bit out of line Miss McKinley will you get it through your handsome head that I didn't enter this

race for the sier and I didn't Charter the tiki to have her ripped apart now once we're in the race you can take over

but until then she's my ship is that clear nonetheless that's

final very well Captain have it your way where's the S

list it's on the chart table below hi Adam well you can find it

you're a big

girl oh what more can I say Adam except this time I'm glad I'm staying on the beach don't worry about me Ollie I've

seen worse yeah but not in skirts no M Ro P I'll see you when I get back

right all right it's okay all right I think where we met

before I'm not sure where it's on the cabin floor of the impulse oh well I

didn't think it was just a rum that makes me feel like this anyway my name is dck Underhill in case you've

forgotten I couldn't forget Mr Underhill I'll call me jck I imagine you're Adam Troy captain and I uh I'd sincerely like

to apologize apology accepted call me Adam well now that we've got that out of

the way Adam uh where do I store my gear in your quarters I'll take you below oh

good W good morning lady Skipper happy to be aboard good morning I'm glad to see you made it

Joo in there

you know you seem like a good fellow Ado so we may as well dispense with the

preliminaries a little display of affection out there between Carl and myself that just about sums up our

relationship you see I am what Carla grabbed when Jud walked out on her Jud

walked out on Carla so noer is to leer there we

are now to make matters a little more pleasant have ourselves a

drink [Music]

serious there's the impulse [Music]

Skipper making good time she's got to be making 12 knots the H speed's 148 in

case you're interested how do you know that you want to I designed there you see Captain Troy Mr underill is one of

the best Naval architects in the business he designed both the impulse and the Conqueror no matter who wins the

Tahiti jock can't lose or can't win

[Music] we're at the starting line Captain I'll

take command she's all yours Captain she's all

[Music]

[Applause]

yours impulse this is Tiki impulse this is Tiki how do you read me

over Tiki this is impulse I read you 5 by five

over impulse this is Tiki now there's an Old Navy expression if I've ever heard one I read you

5x5 would you mind skipping the boy Scott routine and finding out his

position uh Jud there's a there's a captain on board who wants to know your position

[Music] over Tiki this is impulse I have just passed cani Reef 2,000 yd off my

starboard beam over we've been at Sea Less Than 3 hours and he's already four miles ahead of us you didn't expect the

tiki to stay up with the impulse on an even basis did you oh I don't believe in counting on handicaps Captain we'll

change course there's no need to pass 2,000 yards off the reef dad's only doing it cuz it's safer then he ought to

be riding a tricycle I'm giving orders to leave The Reef 500 yard off the port beam

[Music]

my like a in come

ahead Joy all right

yeah among my other Sterling qualities I have an uler and ulcers and whiskey do

not mix then why drink

yeah you see this Carla gave it to me guarantees good

luck so I have nothing to worry about Why'd You Come on the race

chck did you ever hear of a naval architect who could afford his own boat

I've been designing racing craft for so long I uh well I figured it was about time I made the trip

myself you're lying yes yes you're

right I came because of Carla ever since I met her I well

there's been no other woman for me and somehow somehow I I thought if I made

this trip why I wi

her my dear friend do realize it's almost known and I haven't had a drink yet

[Music]

I can see jud's lights you can't be too far ahead of

us what's your course 280 good we'll hold it until

midnight that's in 15 minutes why don't you go below wake jock and kale for the midnight

watch you don't like the way I treat joh up do you that's his

problem you wouldn't like to have the same problem would you Captain Troy no I

wouldn't did it ever occur to you that I might be a very normal woman who's simply looking for a man I'm not so sure

you'd recognize one if you found one you didn't the last time you're all alike aren't you the minute a woman becomes

sure of herself you become afraid what you're all looking for are clinging Vines not

women oh what are you looking for Mr McKinley ready to relieve the watch Skipper how we making out we're gaining

on mister I'm sure you know how to run your boat but you've never seen a skipper like Miss McKinley this little

lady can turn a ship inside out thank you

kale of course too

too we are gaining on them of course we are why do you think I

insisted on passing the reefs close to be about 6:00 this morning we'll be in the main body of the riota reefs watch

yourself we might find ourselves in among them are you telling me how to run this race Captain I'm not telling you

anything an intelligent SE Captain wouldn't ordinarily know only in your case I don't think intelligence has

anything to do with it K you think I'm a good Skipper don't

you you best there is man or woman you know kale sometimes I think Captain Troy

wants us to lose who cares baby what did you

say who cares skipper

[Music]

[Music] midnight the witching hour time for

witches to be on watch wit watch the witch the mer mer witch

[Music]

watch what watch out for the witch you shouldn't go on deck in your

condition thank you my friend will you take your hands off me now

Look it's one thing to lose a woman it's another thing to blame her for your worries ah now we've come full

circle you're just like the rest of us aren't you what the devil are you talking about who would you spell at

first at first you hardly realize what's happening to you you find yourself to offending her you find

yourself admiring the very things you first disliked you see

Ado I've been there you better sleep it off as you

better listen to me why don't you listen to a veteran do you know what Carla

is she is a Sleek well-groomed Tigress maning shark an Amazon why she chews men

up and spits them out now watch her watch her look at

you I've seen all the signs you are next brother you are

next the wi wi I've come to relieve you lady

Skipper again I've only had a p of so you see I me take

carefully you're no condition to stand watch please go

below would you like a surprise

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

test watch sh

[Music]

wow do I pass the Tesla Jo when are you going to stop behaving like a child oh

days Troy and I will relieve you at 0600 if there's any trouble meanwhile call me

nothing I can't handle by

myself what's the matter Captain don't you trust me just checking we'll clear the reefs by a good

500 yard and gain an hour on the impulse we may gain an hour and we might lose a

ship don't worry Captain if anything happens I'll buy you a new one

hey want a drink I forgot you're

Square don't push me Mr Underhill you know come to think of

it you are just the right kind of a man for Carl all muscles and no gray matter

you're asking for trouble mister yeah I always ask for trouble when I'm drinking

what's what is the matter why is a great big strong human man like you taking

taking orders from the lady Skipper you know if I had your body with

my mind I asked you to

stop and then on the other hand if you had my mind what a horrible thought

now listen you may think I'm pretty dumb and that's your business you

understand I don't like being pushed around all right all right Mr muscle

youve made your [Music]

point here you see Mr musle

[Music]

no G

oh I don't think your Skipper would like it if she caught you brawling on watch it wasn't my fault he started it he's

unable to speak for himself just now he hit me first I swear he did get him below

[Music]

what happened just started a fight somebody knocked somebody out he figured out all right kale let's have it he kept

pushing me Skipper I warned him he would have [Music]

stop oh my stomach my

stomach he's hurt of course he's hurt I'm sorry Skipper I warned him he tries

that again I'll k*ll him go back on watch kale yes

[Music] ma'am I don't

know something's happening Inside Man you'll be all right

no something's happening inside my stomach that actually how I

know just believe me you got to do

something you'll be all

right where did you get K he was a pickup hand how long have you known him

a few weeks maybe a month I watched him work over jock he's a pro knowing Jock when he's drinking he

probably asks for it all right I'm radioing the impul returning back what I said we're going back to Pap Over My

Dead [Music]

Body impulse this is Tiki can you read me impulse this is Tiki can you read me over I'm in command here I forbid you

gon is a very sick man you mean he drank too much I think he's hemorrhaging figure it out Captain a man who has an

ner and lives on alcohol is bound to have some kind of reaction is that all it means to you by tomorrow morning

he'll wake up with nothing more than a hangover and by noon you'll start drinking all over again I can't agree

with you miss McKinley oh I didn't know you had a medical degree I don't need a degree to know a sick man impulse this

is Tiki can you read me over did it ever occur to you that at this hour of the night they might not have anyone monitoring the radio

all right reach them in the morning but we're turning around now when the race is over Captain not before that's three

more days Jock's Heming badly I've seen him this way before nobody asked him to drink like a fish are you willing to

take the responsibility for his life oh why why am I always cursed with

weak men [Music]

hello lady sker Jo are you all right of

course and got a little drunk we were worried about

you it would take more than that big oath to finish me off really Jo tell me

the truth Adam Troy wants us to turn back to papay what do you want

that's why I'm here to ask you if you think we

should my dear Miss McKinley uh I've never made an important decision

in my life I can't make it for you J how do I

know how you really feel so then it rests with me if I say turn around then the race is

lost Carla well her heart's

broken I'll get over it like you did Jud Jo

I I guess there's no point in kidding each other it

just hasn't worked out for us has it

nope think knew that a week ago Jo after Jud left me I didn't know where

to turn for the first time in my life I was lost I I was really

alone that was lucky for me I wish I'd given you a fair

Shake jocky it's hard for me to say this

but I'd rather lose the race than have anything happen to you I really mean it

but it's up to you to make the decision

all right you take it from a horse's mouth I have an acute

attack The Hangover then you really want me to go on with

it lady Skipper will you get out of here and let me get some rest

[Music]

look Mister you're wasting your time and mine I take orders from my Skipper and nobody else look will you get her

through your thick skull we've got a sick man on board you know something I once k*lled a man that's a fact it was

in a fight in Frisco I broke his neck with my bare hand you know what they

gave me suspended sentence they call it self-defense all right there no wa kale

mind your

hell there's nothing wrong with jock under him now you're a doctor I know I just talked to him he wants to go on

with the race he's got nothing more than a hangover and you believe that if you think I'm lying Captain why don't you

ask him yourself and Captain don't try to radio

the impulse just in case you might try to talk Jed into canceling

race J told me you're an Amazon that's not the good word cannibal is a better

word kale do you want to win this race sure I

do why not they may try to stop us tonight I'll keep this Helm just as long

as you want me to and no what about you telling me what to do I like that about you KO I like it a

lot you know why because you're a man a real

[Music] man you mean

that of course [Music]

[Music] wow [Music]

kale kale I need a doctor I'm sick you can't hold your liquor

Mister you don't understand I lied to Carla I knew how badly she wanted to win

the race I knew you were chicken too that's got nothing to do with

courage he you I just don't want to die Mr I've heard of guys that can't

hold that liquor but you take the cake hey I have got a not sir when you hit me

in the stomach something happened to me is that a fact I have got to have a the

doctor s it to the marinees don't you understand I am bleeding inside I need help go to

bed you stupid

fool kale I I couldn't take another beating

you said anything about a beating you're trying to stop us from winning aren't you the race doesn't make any difference

now ask Carla she'll explain it to you she doesn't want me to die she said you'd try to stop us from winning Carla

doesn't want to win that battle you ask her she'll tell you she'll tell you she'll tell you to

turn [Music] around taale tale put me down

[Music] car car [Music]

when you going to do it tonight I guess what time about 10: what you going to

use dial so that I wouldn't take a bat without

it little more hot water boy you know why I use dial because the big Society

Dames uses it because it keeps me smelling like a rose bud don't you use

no deodorant don't have to with dial that at7 knocks off all them skin

bacteria that cause perspiration odor how about scrub me back huh pipe the

color pink to match your eyes style also comes in gorgeous aqua

and glittering gold you know no and another thing there's nothing like a nice hot bat with dial to make a busy

man forget his troubles aren't you glad you used dial

don't you wish everybody did [Music]

good morning good morning I've been topside I've seen the lights of the impulse she's behind

us well there'll be no living with the old girl now we've gained on Jud during the last 4 hours that's all you wanted

isn't it that's not enough we're changing course come [Music]

on you're relief kale okay Skipper did Mr ill stand his watch now

he said he wasn't feeling good so I told him it was okay to go below you don't need me Skipper I think I'll hit the

sack no I don't need

you what do you think you're doing our course is 290 that'll put us on the reefs no it won't Captain I checked our

position on the charts we'll clear them by 200 y you're reliev a command of the Tiki

of all the sidling fighten cows shut up and take a look I said take a [Music]

look those are reefs lady Skipper another five more minutes on this course we've be in among them but I thought you

didn't think I don't know where this great seamanship is you're supposed to have but you ought to be beat for

[Music] light now go below and take a look at jerk

[Music]

Jack Jack [Music]

Jo [Music]

jock Jo [Music]

Jo Jo where is he come here baby where's jock I can't

find him know he's probably drunk and sleeping at off somewhere forget him I

tell you he's not on board I searched everywhere when did you see him

last what did he do when you saw him I don't know he was drinking

drinking but he couldn't he was too

sick Samuel that's what you wanted wasn't it baby he kept yelling to turn back he was

chicken Troy would have heard him my Skipper want to keep going

[Music] what's the matter he can swim oh

no [Music]

no let go me fight me baby let's go me

[Music]

[Music] kro Jack is dead kale k*lled

Jack watch the Rees get out of my way she's mine

[Music]

help [Music]

he's gone there's nothing more we can do we'll continue on

course the race is over [Music]

Captain look the impulse we better get below monitor the

radio J will figure we're in trouble to try to contact us

[Music]

Tiki this is impul can you read me Tiki this is impulse can you read me

over Tiki this is impulse can you read me

over this is TIY over you are swinging close to the reefs has anything happened

over there's nothing wrong Jud continue on course

[Music] over in consideration of our findings

our records will show that Jack on the hill was m*rder*d by Sam kale Sam Kale's death be found accidental I'll give

instructions Captain Troy to release your boat oh thank you thank very much

inspector my congratulations sir the Tai race you wanted magnificently on

corrected time you were 2 hours and 47 minutes ahead of the runnerup thank you inspector

tror and you too madam there is nothing wrong in being

second my congratulations you're very good

this arrived in today's Mao there was no need to transfer a title I didn't win the

Conqueror you lied to me on the radio the race ended at the [Music]

reefs for me everything ended at the re