07x01 - One Year Later

[bunniefuu]

[groovy music]

- [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer!

Tonight's guests, he'll
charm the mom out of you,

it's Jacob Wysocki!

- If you're a mom, I love ya.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Preeminent Evelyn
Tucci scholar, Vic Michaelis.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

- Dangerous, dangerous.
- I'm kidding! I'm joking!

- [Sam] And three, two,
one, c*m, it's Lou Wilson!

- It was me the whole time.

[Sam and Jacob laughing]

- And your host, me. I've
been here the whole time!

This is "Game Changer", the only game show

where the game changes every show.

I am your host, Sam Reich.

I am joined today by these
three lovely contestants now.

You all understand how the game works.

- Come on, man.

- Never did, never will.
- This old ditty?

- Sam, you know what's up, baby.

- That's right, our players have no idea

what game it is they're about to play.

The only way to learn is by playing,

the only way to win is by learning,

and the only way to begin is by beginning.

So without further ado, let's begin.

Players, welcome to the Game
Changer Intelligence Agency.

The season, six.

We shot Sam Says 3 this morning!

Lou is still drunk on champagne!

[players cheering raucously]

- I've been chugging coffee,
trying to feel normal.

But, you know, hard to break a habit.

- Ash, if you could please
bring out the dossiers.

- Thank you, Ash.

- Thank you, Ash.
- Thanks, Ash.

- [Sam] Players, inside
each of those dossiers

you will find 15 challenges.

To accomplish those challenges,

you have one year.

On your mark, get set, go.

- You're an absolute b*stard.

[Sam and Lou laughing]

- I'm still drunk!
- Oh my f*cking god.

Collect the most locks
of people's hair we know?

- What? What number is that?
- The last one!

- [Jacob] Dude, I'm pissed, dude.

[Sam cackling]

- Would you look at the time?

Please welcome back to the stage,

Jacob Wysocki, Vic
Michaelis, and Lou Wilson!

- Hi, Sam.
- Hey, Sam. How are you?

- Hey, Sam!

- I don't think I've ever
been more out of the loop

as to what a "Game Changer"
episode is about to be.

- Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
[Sam laughing]

I don't know what's going on!

Well, I'll start off. I got you something.

Just a little thing, for thinking of me.

- This is so ominous.

- Just hold onto that.
- So ominous.

- Did you feel that as well,

when they were standing next
to each other for a second?

It was kind of like-
- Who's who?

- But I guess, elephant in the room,

it's been a crazy f*cking year, Sam.

- Yeah, if I knew I was
going to be performing

at Madison Square Garden,
I would not be here!

[Sam and Jacob laughing]

- Then, after a regular
sh*t-ton of ado, let's begin.

Your first challenge, who
can make the best outfit

to wear to the taping a year from now?

Jacob, we'll start with you.

- Yeah, I'll go ahead and just kind of-

- Flaunt it.

- [Sam] Oh! Hit it!
- Quarter turn, quarter turn.

- [Lou] f*cking get 'em.
- [Sam] Hit it!

- Oh sh*t!
- Be a little sneaky,

like you know something
that we don't know.

- Sam, you wish you
wore it this good, man.

- [Sam] Honestly?
- I swear, dude.

- Honestly, it's a little upsetting.

- You know, it's no animal shirt,

and there's a bit of me
that feels kind of naked.

- Mm.
- And that's vulnerability,

and that's what you
want, 'cause you're sick.

[Sam laughing]

- Vic, what is happening here?

- As you can see, I'm also dressed as Sam.

[Lou and Sam laughing]

This outfit is paying
homage to the giant squid.

It is all handmade.

- Gorgeous.

- Let's give it up for the tentacles!

- Is there something that
the giant squid means to you?

- No. Thank you.

[Sam, Jacob, and Lou laughing]

- Lou, from where I'm standing,

this doesn't yet look like much.

- The outfit I'm wearing
today exists in three parts.

Past, present, and future.

We'll begin with the past.

A wristwatch, hand crank.

The strap is custom made
with the initial words

from most "Game Changer"
episodes, "I've been here,"

and then what every watch captures,

[Sam gasping]
- [Lou] "The whole time."

This is an I've been
here the whole timepiece.

- Wow!

- Next, I'll provide a representation,

an homage, to the present.

[Velcro ripping]
[Lou sighing]

[crew laughing and cheering]

I put forward my body.

[Sam laughing]

While it cannot be said that the mind

ever truly lives in the
present, the body is the vessel

through which we experience
every present moment.

And then Sam, I would ask that you,

with that phone there,
bring on the future.

- What!

- Right now, my outfit exists

for Sam on this phone
in augmented reality.

Please don't laugh at me
'cause I'm standing naked

in a room full of people, but
I'm wearing a sick outfit.

It's super sick and from the future.

- I can confirm that it's freakin' sick.

Unbelievable, Lou.
- Unreal.

- [Sam] For sheer innovation alone,

we are going to say three points for you.

[bell dings]

Vic, I'm going to say two points for you.

- Thank you!
[bell dings]

- Jacob, one point for you.

[bell dings]

- Wild to learn that that's
how the points are working.

[Sam laughing]
- Yeah, good stuff, man.

- I guess we're going to move on.

- Yeah, we live in a modern world,

and I guess you can't
be naked all the time.

- I was excited. The fans would be, too.

- You know, that's more
than $5 a month. You know?

- That's a different paywall.

- That brings us to our next challenge.

Who can take the most
impressive celebrity selfie?

Lou, we'll start with you.

- Sam, you know I interact
with a lot of celebrities

in my day-to-day life.

- As-

- The on-air announcer
for "Jimmy Kimmel Live".

The number of celebrities
that came through

who was like, ooh, maybe!

And then I would walk
downstairs to the greenroom

and I would just have
a light anxiety attack

and be like, [laughing]
we'll ask the next one!

- Especially as a part of your
job. That's kind of tough.

- [Lou] So I ended up calling on-

- Oh! Guillermo!

- The number one sidekick
for ABC's hit late night show

"Jimmy Kimmel Live", Guillermo Rodriguez.

- That's a great photo.
- He's really funny.

- Good job, buddy.
- Next up, Jacob.

- I think I got a picture with
the biggest celebrity of all,

and that is with our brave
firefighters, a male nurse-

- Wow!

- And my best friend, Kurt Maloney.

These are the people
that should be famous.

- Now if I don't give you
points, I look like an as*h*le.

- Who do you support and what
are your values and ethics?

- Sam, I'm so sorry, can I
ask a clarification question?

- Yes.
- Was it celebrities selfie?

- Celebrity selfie.

- It's not plural?
- Correct.

- Oh, interesting.
- Vic is insane!

- I don't know.

- Sam, do not listen to
this squid! All right?

- Vic.
- We can just do the photo.

- [Vic] Yeah.

- Vic, who is this?

- Sam, are you serious?

- Yes, I'm sorry. I don't know-

- [Vic] Go to the next one. Yeah, there.

- That's a very similar photo.
- [Lou] You got a lot happier.

- Come on, look at this.
- I'm sorry.

If I'm supposed to know who this is-

- I'm serious. Look at this.

- I actually don't know who this is.

- Are you serious? Oh my god, Sam.

- [Sam] Does everybody know who this is?

- Do the next photo. Does
that answer your question?

- Sam, do you know what's going on now?

- Who do you think that is?

- Is this Evelyn f*cking Tucci?

- No, it's Marilyn Groggins,

Walter Groggins' paternal grandmother.

Beloved character actor.
She loves cooking.

She did the intro for Stanley's cookbook.

- It's the mother of-

- Beloved performer Walter Groggins.

- By Walter Groggins,
you mean Walton Goggins?

- I was like, is that who you meant?

[Jacob and crew laughing]

The guy from "Fallout"?

- Big teeth, big teeth.
- [Lou] That is outrageous.

- I am going to say two points for Lou,

[bell dings]

one point for Jacob for
making me feel guilty,

[bell dings]

and one point away from Vic Michaelis

[buzzer buzzes]

for bringing this back
after four episodes!

- That's ill*gal!

- I honestly didn't think
that that was possible.

- I didn't know that that
was humanly possible.

- It is fun to be learning new rules.

- Next up, who can bring in

the coolest free item
from a Craigslist post?

Lou, we'll once again start with you.

- I found a jet ski.

- Oh my god!

- [Lou] There it is.
- [Vic] So good.

- She's gorgeous.

- [Sam] How on Earth was this free?

- Well, they had been left in
a storage locker in Long Beach

so I hopped in a U-Haul
with two of my friends,

we drove down there, loaded
her up, brought her back,

and then was able to reupholster
it and fix her up a bit.

- Definitely spiffed up.
- Yeah.

- Looks great.
- I love that.

- Objectively, a jet
ski is a very cool item.

- There it is.
- Jacob.

- A jet ski is a motorcycle for the water.

I tried to get a real motorcycle.

- [Lou] Now, baby-
- [Sam] Oh, damn, Jake!

- [Vic] Oh my god.
- [Jacob] This is my baby.

- [Sam] That looks like
a very cool motorcycle.

- It started with the Craigslist post.

- [Sam] I'm getting rid of
my husband's motorcycle.

We got a baby on the way and
it's just too dangerous now.

- So I called Jenna.

Then go ahead and read what Jenna said.

- [Sam] Thanks for talking with me, Jason.

I have been very busy and
nervous about the baby,

and been doin' so much.

It was nice to have someone
ask how I am feelin'.

Sorry if my crazy a*s
talked too long, lol.

- Let's go ahead and show the next slide.

This was a 42-minute phone call

that I had with expecting mother Jenna.

She was afraid that her husband

would be mad that the bike was gone,

so she wanted me to pick
it up when he was not home.

- Oh, whoa!

- The only caveat is, I don't
know how to drive a motorcycle

so I signed up for motorcycle classes,

passed the course,

and now I have a class
M1 motorcycle license.

- Jake!

- Was able to pick up the bike,

met Jenna, had a lovely chat,

tried to get out of
there as soon as I could.

- So Jake, you got a motorcycle
and a motorcycle license.

- And maybe I'm the godfather
of Jenna's kid! Who knows?

- That's a really cute
and very sweet story.

- I love that.

- Sam, you know what's
cooler than a jet ski?

- What?
- Two f*cking jet skis.

- No! Dude!

- No way!

- [Sam] Wait a second!

- [Jacob] f*ck!
- [Sam] Wait a second!

- f*ck!
- [Sam] What?!

- There it is.

- [Sam] This one says "Sea-Lou Sex" on it!

- I mean, we all know
what Sea-Doos lead to.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Can I just get confirmation
that you picked up

two jet skis and then held back on one?

- In order to make the
second one pop? Hell yeah.

[Sam laughing]

[Jacob grunts nervously]
- Vic!

- Okay, I just wanted something
that I thought would be,

like, kind of lovely
and kind of whimsical,

and then I came across this.

- [Vic] Thank you.

- Gizmo has been with me
since I was five years old.

- You have one of these?

- It went missing a number of months ago.

- Holy smokes.
- Wait, what?

- You-

- Can we bring out the next item?

Thanks. No, you hold onto this, seriously.

Oh my god, I didn't know yours
was missing! You take that.

Thank you so much. And then I found this!

How cute is this?

- What is that?
- Look at this.

- That is a birthday card from my aunt.

- Sam, you have one of these too?

- I do.

- I'm going to let you hold onto that.

- Thank you so much.

- You hold onto that. You keep that safe.

- And Vic, you found these
things on Craigslist for free?

- No, these were not Craigslist posts.

This was the Craigslist post.

Can you please bring out my last item?

I got a house.

- [Jacob] Congratulations, that's huge.

- Thank you so much.

- [Jacob] That's so hard in Los Angeles.

- Incredible.
- [Jacob] Huge.

- [Vic] Thank you so much.

So maybe I can put this
one sort of like...

I mean, it's not a jet
ski, it's not a motorcycle,

but maybe we just sort of...

Oh man, how exciting.
- That's huge.

- So, these are my keys.

- Those are our spare keys.

- Who are you talking about?

- I'm going to guess that
this is a deed to my home.

- [Sam] Is this a deed to my home?

- Sam, it's a deed to my home.

- Wow! You forged my signature!

- Actually, if you would take a look,

we did this beautiful sh**t

in Architectural Digest last month.

- [Lou] Oh wow.
[Sam howling with laughter]

- [Vic] It's just stunning.

- You look so good in that home.

- [Sam] You- [continues laughing]

- [Vic] It's just is, like, lovely.

- This does make it look an awful lot like

you also took my wife.

- Is your wife in the small print, Sam?

- No, it seems like that
was entirely voluntary,

which is more hurtful.

[Lou and Jacob laughing]

[Sam sighs dejectedly]

That is going to be three points for Lou.

[bell dings]

Two points for Jacob.

[bell dings]
- Fair enough.

- And another point away from Vic-

[Jacob laughing]

[buzzer buzzes]
- \{{}Sam] for robbing my home.

- Sam!

You left me on my own for too long!

- You gotta actually play the game!

- I need boundaries.

- Vic, the good news is,

there's nowhere to go but up from here.

- I love that attitude for you.

Thank you so much.

Gorgeous.
- Whoa, okay!

- [Jacob] Okay!

- Ears.

- A smaller squid head with ears.

- Oh, huh, that's weird.

- Moving right along.

Who can keep the sourdough starter alive?

For context, we supplied
players with sourdough starter.

All they had to do was
keep it alive for a year.

Now, we made sourdough bread
with each of your starters.

Jake, I will taste yours first.

- [Sam] Now, you've had
some experience with this.

- Yes, I have to admit,

I did a little bit of
pandemic sourdough baking.

- In vogue at the time.

- And an elephant never forgets,

so I know how to take care of this.

- Jake, I'll go ahead
and taste your bread.

- Oh! Yeah!

- Gorgeous.

- [Vic] Oh my god, that's amazing.

- [Jacob] Yeah, look at that.

- [Vic] Oh, you don't even need butter.

[bread crunching]

- [Jacob] I love that crunch.
- It was well-baked as well.

I'll give it to 'em.
- Yeah.

- I don't want to stop.
- Save your appetite!

- Yeah, you got a lot more bread to eat.

- Delicious. Lou?

- I haven't opened this
since you gave it to me.

I was too busy building
sick future clothes

and having sex on the back of my jet ski,

so I truly have not opened this-

- Oh no, Lou.
- Oh god!

- No, dude.

- Vic] Lou!
- Oh! It feels-

- It's like if skin was in skin water.

- Yes, there's like a layer of movement-

- We gotta stop talking about it.

We gotta stop talking about it.

- [Vic] Moving on. Moving on.
- Yeah.

- That is really, really gross.

- Ooh!

- I'm afraid to ask. May I
have Lou's bread, please?

- Sam, I'm so sorry, but
due to health concerns,

we couldn't make that bread,

- Jacob, look away.

- [Lou] We're just going to
scoop out a little bit of this-

- No!
- Come on! Come on, man!

Have a little bit! Come on!
- [Sam] No, no, no!

- Just a little bit! Just
a little bit of skin!

- [Sam] Absolutely not!

- [Lou] This was not in here a year ago.

[Sam gags]
[Lou laughing]

- Oh my god.

- Everyone's being very rude right now.

- It raised my body temperature.

- [Lou] Yeah.
- Vic!

- Yes.

- That looks like it's sand.

- Why would you give me
sand to try and sabotage me?

- If you gaslight me for
a third time this episode,

these point counters can't
go into the negatives, Vic.

They technically can't.

- I think you should just try it

before you pass any judgment, okay?

[Sam sighing defeatedly]

- If I could please have Vic's bread.

- Now that's sand.

- [Sam] That is 100% sand.
- [Lou] That's f*cking sand.

- Ash, that you've been forced to do this

is an indignity to you.
- Thank you, Ash.

- Feels like little rocks.

- Tastes like?

- Tastes like little rocks, Vic.

- That's so weird. Maybe
some sand got in there.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- [Sam] That is three points for Jacob,

[bell dings]

and zero points for either of you.

- That's hard to hear.

- Next up, who can bring the Sam standee

to the most remote location?

Our players were provided with
a life-sized standee of me.

Vic!
- Yes, Sam.

- How far did you get with your standee?

- That was not the prompt.

- Who can bring the Sam standee
to the most remote location?

- Most remote location.

- [Vic] There are 400 remotes there.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Is that 400 for sure?
- For sure.

- I cannot believe you spent
so much effort on this.

- I can't wait to see how many remotes

these two took photos with.
[Sam and crew laughing]

- Jacob.

- Roll that beautiful bean footage.

How you doing, buddy? Feeling comfy?

[door thuds]
[Jacob chortling]

Play some cool road music.

[Jacob humming cool road music]

We're in the middle of
f*cking nowhere, Cerro Gordo,

only accessible by a four
by four car on a dirt road.

Used to be a bustling
mining town in the 1860s,

but is now abandoned!

There's only one person who lives there,

and he's a chill dude named Brent.

- Hey, Jacob.

- [Jacob] That said that
we could come on down,

and that he would help
us get Sam underground.

- So fun.

- Is there anything more remote
than being under the earth?

I don't think so.

- [Brent] All right, Sam.

Here we are at the Union
Mine here at Cerro Gordo.

- Sam, this is going to be
your final resting spot.



I can't think of a more
remote spot than that.

Au revoir! Au revoir!

- [Brent] Getting all
the way to the bottom

takes over 45 minutes, almost an hour.

It's as dark as dark gets.
It's as quiet as quiet gets.

It's like sensory deprivation.

There you are, Sam. As deep as it gets.

- Wow! Jake!
- [Lou] Hell yeah!

- There you have it.

- I don't know how to feel
about the fact that there is now

an effigy of me at the
bottom of this ghost town.

- You'll have to go sometime.

- Lou.
- The person behind my camera,

do you know where in the world

is 1,000 kilometers from
the nearest continent

and has no native human population?

- [Crew Member] I do not.
- Well, it's Antarctica.

There you are.
- [Jacob] Wow.

- This is actually Antarctica?

- [Lou] That is actually
Antarctica, and in fact,

you're actually still there.

- How did you get me there?

- I was actually at a show with these two

when I met a person named Devon Reed,

and Devon Reed was the head chef

at McMurdo Station in Antarctica,

and so I found him on
Instagram, I DMed him,

I said, "Could we send a
standee to Antarctica?"

And he said, "Hell yes."

I took you to the local post
office, you arrived safely,

and they gave you a little
tour of the mountainside.

- If I may interject.
- Yes?

- Cerro Gordo doesn't get mail.

Antarctica, there's like


- If I may add.
- Yes?

- There's only like four
remotes tops in Antarctica.

- I'm glad you spoke up.

- [Sam] Yes.
- Yeah.

- Wow, incredible efforts, players.

I am going to say three points for Lou.

[bell dings]
- This is bullshit.

This is bullshit!

- Two points for that
incredible package, Jacob.

- You're wrong, is the problem.

[bell dings]

The problem is, is that you're wrong.

- And another point away from Vic,

[buzzer buzzes]

bringing Vic to negative one point,

which we will have to visual effect

in order to make possible.
- You're kidding!

- No one lives underground, Sam!

There are no denizens under
the earth, my dude! Politely!

[Sam laughing]

- You just got two points!

They're having to VFX a
negative sign to mine!

- I deserve three!

[screams] Congrats, Lou!

- Hey, thanks, man.

- Next up, who can make

the bestselling piece of Dropout merch?

- [Vic] I'll be back.
- Okay.

- See ya.

- [Lou] No idea where they're going.

- [Jacob] No clue.

- Our players worked hand in
hand with our merch department,

shout out to Randy, to
design and fabricate

a piece of merch specifically
for this contest.

Jake, what did you come up with?

- I chose to make a
piece of merch based on

my favorite moment that I've
gotten to have here at Dropout.

- I love that, Jake.

- Which, of course, is
me going Super Saiyan.

Is that all you got? [screams]

That's my shirt and that's my
spiel, and amen and god bless.

[Lou and Jacob chortling]

- Lou.

- I created the Kingston
Brown limited edition plushie.

- Wow.
- There he is.

- And dare I ask, Lou, what
makes this limited edition?

- Does he have them on him,
or did we give them all away?

Oh no, he's got them.

Each one came with a heart-shaped piece

of the hair I had on my head a year ago.

- This is your actual hair?

- This is genuinely my actual hair.

So, enjoy!

[Sam and crew laughing]

- A clone of you is going to get birthed

out of the vag*na of a sheep.

- Don't put that on me!

- Next up is Vic, who is not onstage.

- Come on through! Hi,
everybody! Come on in.

Please welcome Simone, Mark, and Steve.

- [Lou] Hey!
- Hi, everybody!

- [Jacob] Hey, guys.
- Hi, Simone, Mark, and Steve.

- Simone, Mark, and Steve,

please make yourselves
at home on this set.

So, my merch was, I did a
Willy Wonka style pin contest.

So there were three winners

who got a tour of Dropout Studios.

We just did that tour.

This is Sam's dressing room.

He put the star on himself.

Do you guys want to come in?

- Does he have his, like, wallet in here?

- He doesn't. I wish.

- Are each of these people
in from out of state, Vic?

- We have Simone from Michigan.

Mark is from Pennsylvania.
- Pennsylvania.

- [Vic] And Steve is from Connecticut.

- Let me meet each of you, please.

- Yes. Please, please, please.
- Nice to meet you, Sam.

- So nice to meet you!
- Yeah.

- So nice to meet you! Welcome!

- Wonderful to meet you.

- So we actually have
gifts for all of you.

- Oh, that rules!
- [Jacob] Cool! Dropout swag!

- We're so happy that you're here,

and you got to be a part
of this episode, genuinely.

Thank you so much for
coming all the way out.

It means the world.

- It means the world to us, too.

Thank you. Truly, thank you.

- Simone, Mark, and Steve, everybody.

- Wow!
- Thank you!

- Players, this was a nail-biter.

Lou offered something limited edition,

and they sold out after three hours.

So what we did is cut the
challenge off after three hours

and judged it based on
who made the most money

in those three hours.
- After three hours?!

- Seems fair to me.
- Seems, no!

- Lou.
- Mm?

- You sold 100 plushes for $40,

and in three hours, made $4,000.

[Vic exasperated sighing]

Jacob, in that same time,

you sold 326 tees for $29

and made $9,454.

- In three hours?
- Not bad.

- Vic.
- I can't even do this.

- In that same time, you
sold 807 pins for $15.

- What?
- That's a win.

- [Sam] And made $12,105.

- Yeah, it's fair to cut it off.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- I believe there's an objection.

- There's an objection.

- We should probably strike the numbers.

- There's an objection that
needs to be followed through.

- He only had a limited-
- That's just my thought.

- That is going to be
three points for Vic,

bringing them to two.

[bell dings]
- Oh, thank god!

- It is going to be two points for Jacob,

[bell dings]

and one point for Lou.
[bell dings]

Next up, who can get the
silliest vanity license plate?

We will now cut to a live
view of the parking lot.

- [Lou] Whoa!

- What?
- [Lou] What?

- Hey everybody, welcome to the
Piss, LA's premiere bug bar.

[Sam laughing]
- [Vic] Oh my god.

- This is a bar for bugs called the Piss.

Here's the bathroom.

- Oh my god!

- [Jacob] And what appears to be

a little bit of doodoo in the toilet.

- Jake, this is a work of art.

- Thank you so much, and we can pan over

from the bathroom into the main hall.

Of course, we have a beetle bartender

serving all of his beautiful patrons.

The best thing about the Piss

is that it is a premiere
rock and roll venue.

- Oh! Hell yes!
- [Lou] Oh wow.

- [Jacob] These are some bugs
rocking with their c*ck out.

It's the Piss, baby!

- Vic.
- My favorite animal is?

- Oh, horses.
- Horses, for sure.

- Not a squid?

- So I had this idea,
hold your horses, right?

So that is-

- Old your wh*re?

- It's hold your horses,
we just missed the H,

and then we sort of had to economize it,

and then hor for horses.

- The horse is not a letter?

- The horse is not a letter, no.

- But it does have real hair.

- [Vic] We wanted texture.

It really is whipping in the wind.

It's giving a carefree whimsy

that I hope the rest of
the plate is giving off.

- Lou?

- I wanted to do something
silly, emphasis on the jokes,

if I do say so myself.
- Mm.

- So here we are.

- [Sam] I'm da Joker.

- It was a thing of
like, people were like,

oh, is it like jacker?

So I thought if I brought
the whole car into it,

it would be really clear.

So if we could zoom out and
show the vehicle itself.

So yeah, I've been...

I've been driving around
in this for four months.

- What?! Lou!

- [Lou] Yeah, it's a joker-themed wrap.

I found some guys in Westwood.

I sent them a picture of a toy Joker car,

and they said, yeah,

we could do that on your-
- [Sam] No!

- ...Honda Civic hybrid
with 110,000 miles.

- [Sam] No!
- This is crazy.

- [Lou] The front is white with red trim,

just like that classic Joker smile.

- No, no! No!
- So yeah, and fun fact,

during this year, I moved
to a new neighborhood

[Jacob laughing]

with new neighbors,

and I'll tell you what's
parked right out front.

This m*therf*cker!
- [Sam] Wow!

Way to go above and beyond.

I do think that the silliest
of these is objectively Piss.

[Jacob chuckles smugly]

And so I'm going to say
three points for Jacob.

- Nice!
[bell dings]

- Two points for that incredible wrap.

[bell dings]
[Lou chuckles]

- I'll take four.

[Sam and Jacob laughing]

- And one heartfelt point for you, Vic.

[bell dings]
- Okay, interesting.

I hear you and I'm taking
the note and I'm listening.

- Next up, who can create the
coolest voicemail greeting?

- Thank you. So much.

- Surprised the hell out of me.

- What is happening?

- There's scissors involved.
I can tell you that.

- Jake, in the meanwhile,
this is your go first.

- You know what? Just roll
the beautiful bean footage.

Hey, this is Jacob Wysocki.

I can't come to the phone right now.

Leave a message after the tone.

[brass instruments playing discordantly]

[dramatic brass music]
[Jacob screaming passionately]

[dramatic music and screaming continues]

- [Lou] Woo!

That's one of the wildest
things I've ever seen.

- It was intoxicating.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Vic, you are looking more and more like

Vic Michaelis all the time.
- Me?

- Hey! There's my friend!
- [Vic] Oh, that's amazing.

- Lou, I think you're up next.
- Yes.

Hi, you've reached Lou Wilson.

I'm not here right now,
but take it away, Evan!

[groovy gospel music]

♪ You tried to call Lou Wilson ♪

♪ But he ain't here right now ♪

♪ But if you believe ♪

♪ If you believe ♪

♪ When you call on him ♪

♪ He will call you back ♪

- Take 'em to church!

♪ You can call him from the jailhouse ♪

♪ Call you back ♪

♪ You can call him from the bathroom ♪

♪ Call you back ♪

♪ You can call him from the ER ♪

♪ Call you back ♪

♪ Call him from the DMV ♪

♪ Call you back ♪

♪ Call him from the White House ♪

♪ Call you back ♪

♪ No matter the time,
no matter the place ♪

- Woo!
♪ If you call on him ♪

♪ He will call you back ♪

Or you could just text
him like a normal person.

- Lou!
[cast and crew applauding]

- I wrote it and just
was like, I need someone

more musically talented
to put it all together,

and huge shout out to Scott Passarella.

- Scotty P!
- Scotty P!

- And then my friend Evan
Fowler in Saint Louis

got him and some buddies together,

and were nice enough to record it.

- That was fun.
- Vic.

- You can go ahead and play it.

- [Sarah] Hey, this is
Vic. Leave a message.

- Now, Vic, that does not sound like you.

- I tried recording this
voicemail over and over again,

and I was like, I'm having
trouble finding what this is.

So I had my friends write
a scene to song musical,

and I flew my little sister Sarah

down from British Columbia, Vancouver,

to be the lead in my musical.
- This is "Thousandaires"

Sarah of "Sarah's Turn"?

- She starred in a musical that I wrote

where she played me and recorded
a voicemail live onstage.

Tonight is very special and
I can't thank you enough

for being here with me for
the premiere of my new show,

"The Voicemail: The Musical"!
[audience cheering]

- This is Vic. Leave a...

That's not right.

Yo, you've reached the Vicster. Leave a...

Dammit!

- Hey, kid. Looks like
you could use a hand.

Well, have I got the place for you!

[groovy music]

Welcome to [indistinct]
Voice Message Agency,

the number one purveyor
of artisanal voicemails.

There's nothing that we don't do.

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Do do do-do-do do ♪

♪ Sorry we missed you ♪

♪ You've reached the Stanleys ♪

♪ We're just your average nuclear family ♪

♪ Tommy's at softball ♪

♪ Marcy's at chess club ♪

♪ Mommy's out shopping ♪

♪ Daddy is elsewhere ♪

- You've reached the late night love line.

Please listen carefully to
the following menu options.

♪ Press one if you want
your girl naughty ♪

♪ Press two if you want a girl with body ♪

♪ Press three if you
want your girl British ♪

♪ Press four if you want your
girl naughty and British ♪

♪ Really ♪

♪ Wait, what, no ♪

♪ Sorry to interrupt, but I
think that you should know ♪

I never pick up the phone, loser.

You've been talking to a recording

for two minutes like a b*tch.

Anyway, leave a message!

- What do you think?

- I think today has taught
me, Vic, a valuable lesson.

That the best voicemail for
you is the one from your heart.

- The f*ck?
- What the f*ck?

[all shouting over each other]

- Quiet coyote!
- Quiet coyote!

- I got this.

[all shushing]

Hey, this is Vic. Leave a message.

[all cheering]

- And there we go, and that is
the voicemail that you heard.

- You felt it.

You could tell that was
the one from the heart.

- Yeah.
- I might take issue

with the fact that when
each of you were presented

with the prompt coolest,
you picked musical theater,

a marching band, and church respectively.

- Right.
- Careful now, Sam!

- You're coming after about


- There can't be a single
musical theater kid

that subscribes to this platform.

- And at least one of
y'all gotta go to church.

[cast and crew laughing]

- I do think that the coolest of those

was Lou's.
- [Jacob] Yeah.

- For the sheer amount of
effort that you put in, Vic,

I think we have to say two points for you.

- I'll take it.
[bell dings]

- Jacob, still cool.

One point for you.
[bell dings]

- You heard it here, high
school kids at Arcadia High.

Sam Reich doesn't like your work!

- That's tough.
- Lou, three points for you.

[bell dings]
- Thanks, Sam.

- Next up, who can make the most money

in an investment account?

We loaded up investment accounts
with $1,000 for each of you

to trade with over the
course of the past year.

Lou, how's that portfolio looking?

- I can't trust this f*cking
stock market. It's rigged.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- I'm going to how the
people make their money.

- Okay.

- Scratchers!
- Lou.

- So I went to eight
different liquor stores,

and I bought 662 scratchers.
- [Sam] That is so many!

- Oh my god!
- [Sam] Ash, thank you.

- Specifically Pumpkin Patch Cash,

with a possibility of winning $30,000!

- My god!

- And then spent almost
three weeks in between meals

when I would wake up early.

- Lou!

- So in this session
I think I only scratch

about a third of the total amount.

- Look at the sun setting.

- [Lou] Yes, you can
watch the sun set on me.

- Oh my god.
- And also the thought

that this was a good idea.

So in total, I made...
[Sam drumming]

$454!

- Wow. That's tough and I'm sorry.

- That is staggering.
- [Sam] Oh wow. Wow.

- [Lou] So, um-

- [Jacob] That's tough and I'm sorry.

- In that video-
- Yes.

- I really think this is gonna work out.

In that video, I keep going,

"Oh! Is 1,000?

Oh, it's only 10."

Don't gamble, kids!

There is no cash in the pumpkin patch!

- Damn.

- That's tough.
- Jacob.

- I know a lot of people look at me,

and they might think, like,

when it comes to stocks and investment,

that guy is a dumbo.
- Oh.

- I did a little bit of minimal research.

I decided to invest in
a company called Nvidia.

- Nvidia has done incredibly
well in the last year.

- Let's look at my initial investment.

That's what you provided.
- Yes.

- We started here, and
over the course of a year,

I have nearly tripled my investment.

$2,906.63.

- You saying this in that suit

is nothing I ever could've
dreamed in a million years.

[Jacob cackling]

- Jacob the punk is dead,

and Jacob the capitalist is here!

Mr. Moneybags has arrived!

- Wow, I guess gambling does work.

Kids, there is cash in the pumpkin patch.

- No, there's not!

- Vic.
- So-

- This is the second time

that you've stealthily disappeared.

- And I'll be right back,
just give me one second,

and then just announce me one more time.

- Are you ready for us, Vic?
- [Vic] We are!

- We?

- Please welcome Vic
Michaelis and question mark.

- Hello!

So amazing to see so many faces here

at our quarterly meeting here.

We're so grateful for you.

I'm going to hand it over
to our CFO, James Michaelis.

James?
- Perfect. Sam?

- James. Pleasure.
- Honor to meet you.

I am Vic's brother.

- Oh! It's such a pleasure to meet you!

- Flown in just to help with
this presentation today.

- How about it?

- I'm going to have to take your spot.

We're going to be giving a presentation.

- Okay. Where am I going?

- Yes, you go ahead and
take the podium here.

- [Sam] Okay, right.

- Welcome, potential investors!

- Yes, so as I mentioned,
I am Vic's brother,

but more importantly,

I am the CFO of Investment
Account Inc., our company.

[Sam laughing]

This is our investor deck.
We're looking for investors.

We're going to go through the financials,

our company structure, and at the end,

we'll come up with our pitch.

- This is a company
called Investment Account?

- Correct.

- [James] So what do we do?

We here at Investment Account Inc.

believe in investing in the future.

That's why our 39 employees
are our top priority.

- I'm sorry?

- 39 employees?
- 39!

- Here's the full list. Who are we?

- [Vic] Continue.

- That was so many names!

- [Jacob] Whoa, whoa, too fast.

- [James] So hopping into our financials-

- Okay, those objectively look bad.

- Just give it one second, Sam.

- Copy.
- As everyone knows,

we started with $1,000 for our company.

Starting off, we invested $600

into the original vending machine cost.

- That vending machine looks
like it's in rough shape.

- The next 300, employee onboarding.

We brought in all 39 employees

during that January timeframe.

- Just $300 for all 39 people?

- We bought them each personal pizzas.

- Personal pizzas, and
we got a bulk discount.

February to August, 2024,

$200 went into our corporate retreat.

- Okay, that feels just like
a bad use of the remaining-

- And so we're now at negative $100.

So we took out another $100
investment from our friend Lou

for 60% of the company.

- Is that right, Lou?

- This is something I really believe in.

- And Lou, we believe in
you, and you believe in us,

and together, we're going
to believe some big things.

- Keep going!

- And directly after that investment,

we took our summer break.
- Yeah.

- And came back in September.

First, our Investment
Account retreat, 2024.

- Here's some fun photos.

Look at that, our CEO, Izzy Roland.

- Just a great company culture.

- I guess I'm having a hard
time remembering being there.

I guess I'm sort of having a hard time-

- [Lou] Remember this?
- Is that not you?

Is that not you wearing
one of these T-shirts?

- I do remember putting
that shirt on for a picture.

- That picture was at the company retreat.

- Yeah! Yeah!

- [James] Continuing with our financials,

July through October, 2024,
$50 for this logo design.

- All right, I will say,

the logo doesn't look
like a lot even for $50.

- And that's exactly what
all the market research

said we should be going for.

- So we did have a $100 HR meeting

to discuss the negligence of our spending.

We then found $250.

- Where? Can I ask?

[Jacob and crew laughing]

- [James] And then lastly,

[Sam chortling]

$400 for this presentation design.

- Now.
- 2025 projections.

- I would love to know this.

- Projected profits.
Very self-explanatory.

- That line looks like it's going up.

- Now you know why I gave them $100.

- [Lou] f*cking love this presentation.

- All right. What are we worth?

We are-

- Mm.
- Mm.

- [James] Priceless.
- Wow.

- However, we still do need investors,

so here is our first pitch.


more than what Jacob made.

- Now, this couldn't be because
you bought a vending machine

in the hopes of doing something with it,

and then decided to hard pivot
into a completely vacuous,

"Shark Tank" style presentation?

- Sam, you're assuming that
I bought this vending machine

and then realized that the plug

wasn't plugged into the vending machine

and that there was no credit card reader,

so not even the hospital would take it

to put in the basement?

Hey, I get it, you're not
totally sold on this offer,

and you're right not to be,

because we have another offer for you.

- 86% of the company for $1
more than what Jacob made.

- Okay, I see what's happening here.

- Uh-huh. I would like
to make you a counter.

- Okay.

- 100% of the company for
$1 less than Jacob made.

- I see, we're not quite
swayed by this offer,

so we got one last offer for you.

- Okay.

- Final offer, 12% of the company

for $1 more than what Jacob made.

- What do you say?

- So I think this is worse.

[Jacob laughing]

- I'm prepared to make a bid.

[Sam gasping]

- Whoa!
- Zach from Try Guys?

- When I invest, I'm not
just looking for a product,

I'm looking for a vision, and
what I see here is potential,

and I am prepared to offer $10,000 for 20-

- Oh my-
- No! 12% of your company.

[Sam laughing]

I have a check right here.

- That says cash.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Thank you, yes.

- Congratulations.
- Yes, Zach, okay!

- You look like an ivory salesman.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- We're going to the Super Bowl!

[all cheering manically]

- Zach, congratulations on-
- Thank you.

a great new venture.

- Thank you so much.
- Nice to meet you all.

- Wow, huge. I'll just quick change.

[Sam and Lou laughing]

- This transition might
be my favorite yet.

- Perfect. It's a perfect
transition, clean.

- All doors lead back to "Game Changer".

- Jacob, that is three points for you.

[bell dings]
- Bingo!

- Lou, two points for you.
[bell dings]

- And I lost money!
- [Sam] And Vic,

another negative point for
that complete and total farce.

[buzzer buzzes]
- Sam!

- Those points are official?

- Those points are official.
- [Jacob] Great!

I felt like the only
thing I really could do

would be to get the points,
win, and then reject the money.

So I'm going to be
donating all of my profits

to the Rainbow Services,

which is a local South Bay organization

that me and my mom really found important.

- Jacob!
[all applauding]

I think we can all agree who's winning

the moral victory here so far onstage.

Next up, who can perform the
most impressive magic trick?

- [Sam] Lou, you're up first.
- Fantastic.

Would it be possible for you
and the fellow contestants

to kindly gather around Jacob's podium?

- Yeah, okay, fair enough.

- I'll be right back!
- Okay.

- Oh! Allow me to reintroduce myself!

My name is Lou! L to the O-U!

And this is my partner in crime, Kazzy.

Say hi, Kazzy.

Ha, you prankster!

Alright, now we're gonna do a
little magic for y'all today.

You see, I learned at a young age

that a little sleight of hand

could get you out of a pair of handcuffs

or make a dime bag disappear.

The trick we're gonna do for you today

is called a three-card monte.

We used to do this trick uptown,

tricky mucky-mucks out
of their pocket change.

And then we would bring it back down,

help those in our community.

I was a real Robin Hood,
if I do say so myself.

Now, all you gotta do is follow the queen.

DJ, hit that track!
[groovy music]

[Kazzy sighing]

[crew laughing]

- [Sam] That's a king.

That's a king.

- [Sam] That's the queen.
That's what we're following.

♪ Black, black, black,
black, black magic ♪

- Okay.
- This track.

- [Sam] Wait!
[all cheering]

- [Sam] Damn!

- [Sam] Okay, a king.

King.

- [Jacob] Whoa!

- [Sam] Oh, okay.

- [Sam] Okay.

[Lou chuckling mischievously]

♪ Black magic, black
magic, black magic, black ♪

- What?! Whoa!

- [Jacob] Yes!
- [Sam] Oh, holy sh*t!

- Yes!

- [Sam] Whoa!

- [Sam] What?
- Whoa!

♪ Black magic, black
magic, black magic, black ♪

- Whoa!
- No way.

♪ Black magic ♪

- [Jacob] You got it, dude!

- Wow, Lou!

- Woo!

- Damn!
- Crazy.

- Great job, Lou, and great job, Kazzy.

- Lou!

- [Sam] Super impressive trick.

- Magic, man.

- You fooled me, as Penn
and Teller say. Vic!

- What is magic?

When I think of magic,

I think of just an
old-fashioned card trick.

Sam, do you have a favorite card?

- As a matter of fact, I
probably do have a favorite card.

- This has nothing to do
with that. I'm just curious.

[Jacob giggles]

I'm going to go ahead and
have you just pick a card,

pick any card.

- Okay.

- You're going to take a peek at it.

- Okay.

- Back in the deck.
- Okay.

- Okay, this card is going
to jump into your pocket.

- Okay.
- Okay, ready?

- [Sam] Yes.
- Three, two, one.

- [Vic] Is it in there?
- No.

- Okay, so I'm kind of new at magic.

- [Sam] Understood.

- Your card did jump somewhere.

It's just not where it was
supposed to jump, unfortunately.

- That makes sense.

- Can I get the tool?

I really appreciate that,

if we can just sort of bring these out.

Thank you so much, Ash and Nico.

Really appreciate it.
- Thanks, guys.

- Sam, we're just going to
have you scooch on over here.

- I am so scared!

- Yeah, just go ahead and put those on,

and you guys might just
want to scoot back.

- What's about to go down?

- This is just going to take a second.

Don't even worry about it, okay? Ready?

- Sure.

- Oh f*ck!
- Oh my god!

Jesus Christ! My podium!
- f*ck yeah.

- [Sam] Oh, no!
- [Jacob] Jesus.

- Here we go. It's just gonna
be like one more second.

- Oh my god!
- Oh, god!

- Yes!
- Jesus!

- Is this your card?

- No?
[crew laughing]

- Oh my god, no. Hold on.

Just...
[Sam giggling]

Was this your card?

- Yes! Yay!
[all cheering]

- It happens.

- Oh man, that absolutely ruled.

- Thank you so much.

- That was some heavy swinging.

- [Vic] I'm very strong.
- Lou] Shows, shows.

- [Vic] Thank you for saying that.

[groovy music]

- Jacob!

- Can we bring my table out, please?

Thank you.
- Thank you, Nico.

- Put my stuff here for now.

What you just saw, they
were merely tricks,

and when this task came across my desk,

I wanted to do something real.

I wanted to learn how
to read people's minds.

But the harder thing
to do than read a mind

is to influence minds.

Classic piece of psychology,
the Rorschach test.

You guys are familiar with
the Rorschach test, right?

- Yeah.

- So I want to connect with you.

I'm going to show you an image.

I want you to immediately tell
me what you see, all right?

So you go ahead and tell me when to stop.

- Stop.

- We'll show it to the camera.

- First thought, two people dancing.

- Beautiful, yeah, that
totally makes sense.

You find the joy in life,

and you don't like to spend
a lot of time alone, right?

So you're not going to see,
like, a singular image.

Can we do one with you?
- Sure.

- Tell me when to stop.
- Okay.

Stop.

- Great.

- A vase of flowers.
- Vase of flowers.

Cool, yeah, you like to give gifts.

- Yes.

- You're a generous guy.
- Oh, thanks.

- So here's the big moment, all right?

- Okay.

- You're going to confidently pick a page.

- [Sam] Yep.

- Look at it and put it down.
- Got it.

- Do not say what you see
until you're prompted.

- Anywhere in here?

- Anywhere, just pick one up like that.

Okay, now I want you to
envision what you just saw.

- Okay.

- I want you to send it to me.
- Okay.

- Now, if this has a
color, see it in the color.

- Yeah.
- If it has a sound,

see it with the sound.
- Yes.

- If it is somewhere,
see it where it would be.

- Yes.

- Why don't you write down what you saw

on that piece of paper there?

Now, most people in these, they
see people, place, or thing.

I don't think you saw a person.

I don't think you saw a place.

What I think you saw was a thing.

It's large.

Has distinct features, if
I'm not mistaken, right?

Makes a distinct noise.
- Yes.

- On three-

- Say it at the same time as you?

- We're going to say it at the same time.

Hopefully it matches up.

- Okay!
- You ready?

- [Sam] Yeah.

- Three, two, one.

- [Both] Elephant.
- Show them!

He wrote down elephant.
[audience cheering]

Stop clapping! Stop clapping!

That would be a trick,
ladies and gentlemen.

But I am not here doing a trick!

I have been infecting your brain.

Do you remember at the top
of the show, when I said...

Elephant in the room! It's
been a crazy f*cking year!

Do you remember when I called myself a...

Dumbo!

Do you remember when I said...

An elephant never forgets,

so I know how to take care of this.

Do you remember when I said, Zach...

You look like an ivory salesman.

I have been infecting you all day

to see exactly what I wanted you to see!

Good job, Sam. You have
been such a great sport.

Why don't you go ahead and
open up the gift I got you?

- You are a twisted m*therf*cker, Jake.

You got me a f*cking elephant.
- Show everybody what it is.

It's a f*cking elephant!
[crew applauding in reverence]

It's been here the whole time!

Congratulations. You
have a very weak mind.

[cast and crew laughing]

- [Vic] Woo!
[crew applauding]

- I have a bit of a magic background.

Everything I saw today, I
have a sense of how it's done,

except for that elephant.

And so, I'm going to say,
three points for Jacob.

[bell dings]

Two points for both of you
[bells ding]

for tremendous, tremendous performances.

- Everybody did great work.
- Everybody did great work.

- Wow, look at us. Come on.

- Next up, players, who
can get the most followers

on a SoundCloud account?

Vic, we'll start with you.

- So I wrote a religiously
coded erotic novel.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Are we playing
a portion of this, Vic?

- We are.

- [Sam] "One Man's Trash".

- [Vic] "One Man's Trash",

a novella by Taylor Scarborough Faigher.

- This is you doing a voice.
- Yeah.

- Oh, the production value's
incredible here, Vic.

- Thank you so much.
I edited it on iMovie.

Chapter one.

Royce Stigman stands alone
in a glowing white room.

He takes a moment to
breathe in the quietness.

A man as hot, sexy, devout,
nice, and handsome as him

never has a moment to just think

about mathematics or literature.

Suddenly, he hears, "Royce."

Emma.

He sounds like he smokes, but he doesn't.

Royce would never smoke.

- Who's the other voice?
- Me.

- Emma, where are you?

Suddenly, in the distance-
- It's your voice tweaked?

- [Vic] A figure begins
to walk towards Royce.

As it comes closer, we see
it is a beautiful woman.

She's wearing nothing but very long hair

covering her good bits like in a painting

in a fancy home or restaurant.

He reaches for her with
his tree trunk arms

busting out of a tank top.

Royce. The voice becomes more powerful.

Royce!

Jolting awake, Royce
shoots up alone in bed.

It was all just a dream.

Royce pushes the fantasy

from his giant, powerful, hot brain.

- Wow, Vic, I mean, you painted a picture.

There's character development.
- Yeah.

- Setting.
- Southern guitar twang.

- I mean, come on!
- Thank you.

- How many people followed
you on SoundCloud?

- I think if you ask these other two,

they wouldn't be able to
name any of their followers,

whereas for my, yes, 10 followers,

I can give you their home addresses.

- Because you know them personally.

- Hmm?
[Sam and crew laughing]

- Jacob.

- I thought I'd present this
like those old CD commercials.

[dreamy retro music]

- [Jacob] Do you love music?

Do you love music that sounds
like your favorite songs?

Well, I've got a surprise for you.

Welcome to the 57 CD set
of Wysocki's parody songs.

Some of your most favorite tunes,

but slightly different, such as...

♪ But I'm real cheap ♪

[Sam laughing]

"Cheap", to the tune
of Radiohead's "Creep".

We also haves songs like,
to the tune of "Jolene",

"Poutine".
- I mean.

♪ Poutine, poutine, poutine, poutine ♪

- I have a real soft spot for Weird Al.

- We've got musical theater.

- "Johanna".

- From "Sweeney Todd"?

- We also have tracks like LA's best band,

the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

♪ How long, how long is that hog ♪

♪ I'm curious, the size ♪

♪ Of that hog ♪
[Sam laughing]

- It's like a full four minute track, too.

- So for six payments of $420,

this CD set can be yours.
- Okay!

- Go ahead and enjoy it! Thank you!

- Wow, Jacob.
[all applauding]

Jacob, you managed to
rack up 3,985 followers.

- I went on a little bit of a
press tour and got to plug it,

and it helped with the numbers.

- Next up is Lou.

- Give me a second to get set,
and then will you read that?

- [Sam] So many disappearing acts!

This card says, put your
hands together for Paraloubis.

- [Sam] Oh sh*t!

- Whoa!

- They are in the building!
[Jacob cheering]

- All right, now when I
say Para, y'all say Loubis!

Para!
- Loubis!

- Para!
- Loubis!

- Yo, Gabriel, hit that track!

♪ A whole new world ♪

♪ It's a whole new world ♪

♪ Dropout TV, Dropout TV ♪

♪ You're my only girl ♪

♪ Sam Reich, let's go ♪

♪ It's a whole new world ♪

♪ Want to give it all to you ♪

♪ She my Burbank Princess, big eyes,♪

♪and plus she sing a bit ♪

♪ Lost her parents young ♪

♪ It was tragic, please don't mention it ♪

♪ I met her on the apps ♪

♪ Said, bonjour, good
day, I'm feeling you ♪

♪ Disney Plus and chill, she
gon' make a man up out of Lou ♪

♪ At her castle now, call me Elsa ♪

♪'cause I brought the snow ♪

♪ Cinderella vibes,
she is dressed in rags♪

♪ from head to toe ♪

♪ Something in me grow, a part
different than Pinocchio ♪

♪ Soon she'll be Moana-ing,♪

♪ tonight I know how far we'll go ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Bippity boppity booty, hit it so good ♪

♪ She think I love her truly ♪

♪ She acting goofy, she called me Walt ♪

♪ 'Cause we be sh**ting movies ♪

♪ We're going under the sea ♪

♪ And by the sea, I mean in my jacuzzi ♪

♪ I am a beast on the
mic, she is the beauty ♪

♪ Smash her three times, Huey and Louie ♪

♪ Dewey? We do ♪

♪ Eating her a*s up like
Ratatouille, ooh-ie ♪

♪ Does Disney own Bluey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Okay, then she blew me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ It's a whole new world ♪

- Yo, Jeremy, stop.
- Why?

- We only have two minutes.
- Oh!

♪ Survived till one year later ♪

♪ Made a band, imagine that ♪

♪ We got Jeremy and
Bubba, plus Gabriel too ♪

♪ Shout out all the Paralouzers ♪

♪ Can't do sh*t without you! ♪

[Sam cheering]

- Shout out, Paralouzers!
- Paralouzers!

[everyone applauding]

- Thank you guys!
- Yes!

- Thank you guys!

- Wow, gentlemen.
- Hey, bless up, kids.

- Follow us, only on SoundCloud, still.

- That was so good!
- That was good, dude.

- Lou.
- So yeah, a year ago,

you gave me this mission.

And I said, what if I started a band

with my three best
friends from high school?

So to anyone who supported
us on this journey,

I want you to know, all
the Paralouzers out there,

this grew beyond a mission.

- Into a whole new world.
- Into a whole new world.

- I think that people
will be shocked to learn

that this is as a result
of a "Game Changer" prompt.

- We became a real band.

- Lou, you have 3,242 followers.

- Mm-hm.

- Somehow, Jacob's parody songs have more.

Jacob.
- Sup?

- We looked into some of these followers.

Some of them have no avatars.
- Yeah.

- Have strange names, and only follow you.

- Are you getting at something, Sam?

- Did you buy any of these followers?

[crew giggling]

- At the beginning of this,
I felt very intimidated

going into a popularity contest

against one of the most
lovable people in the world,

Lou f*cking Wilson.

So did I buy 680,



at the very beginning of this?

Yeah.

- I did not specify that
you couldn't buy followers.

- Not at all, and that's why I did.

- Yo, you feel like
you flipped real quick.

- Yeah, that was a zig and a zag.

- I feel like you went
from an impassioned speech,

kind of complimenting me, to be like,

m*therf*cker, you didn't say
sh*t about how I couldn't.

I refuse to lose, and so
I created a second account

called Also Paraloubis that
currently has 5,000 followers,

all purchased, if that
puts me in first place.

- [Sam] Wow!
[crew laughs and Jacob claps]

That is going to be three
points for Paraloubis.

- f*ck yes!
[bell dings]

- [Sam] Two points for
parody master Jacob Wysocki.

[bell dings]

And one point for erotic
novelist Vic Michaelis.

[bell dings]

- We're in the positive, and
that's all I can ask for.

[Sam and crew laughing]

- Next up, who can have the
most exotic animal encounter?

Jake, we'll start with you.

- Should we just roll the
beautiful bean footage?

- Welcome.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- This is task 13.

- Who can have the encounter
with the most exotic animal?

- We were told at the beginning of this

that some of the tasks,

we were going to be able
to get the credit card

from the company to help make it happen,

so we're at a really fancy restaurant,

gonna have a very fancy meal.

- When Daddy's away, you can c*m now.

[all cheering]

[indistinct introductions]

- This is awesome. Thanks for inviting us.

And again, and just wanted to say,

thank you guys for paying us to come.

- I'd like to say thanks for the suit.

- Of course.
- And the cowboy hat.

Do I get to keep it?

- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, do you guys need
some walking around money?

- Oh sh*t.
- Yeah.

- [Jeremy] Thank you.
- Thanks for being here.

- Wow.
- We've spared no expense.

Garçon!
- [Vic] Mister!

If I can get a closeup on
me ordering for a second.

There you go.

- [Jacob] You're paying
the camera person for-

- Make sure it's a nice
closeup. There we go.

- While Vic's ordering,

I'll give you 300 if you
could just get their feet.

- [Jacob] Smells really good.

Everybody's food looks really good.

- You guys want to see something cool?

- Let's hear it for Zuri.
- [Jeremy] Oh, my-

- Oh my god.

- Oh, Zuri!
- Zuri's here!

- How are you?
- Hi, baby.

- That absolutely rules.

- I believe Zuri's a ring-tailed lemur.

- The tail's pretty tired, too.

- Do you want my yam?

- Oh, that's right. We
ordered some food for Zuri.

- Yeah, we knew Zuri was coming.

- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, good.

♪ When the moon hits your
eye like Zuri's yellow eyes ♪

♪ That's a lemur ♪

- That's good.
- Yeah?

♪ That's a lemur ♪
- Oh!

Did Zuri just take a sh*t? I
think Zuri just took a sh*t.

- [Jacob] That's okay.

- I'm just going to cover it with a hundo.

- [Lou] That'd be great. Thanks, man.

- You haven't touched your-
- Oh, you know what?

I was going to touch it,

but then she started sh1tting everywhere.

[everyone laughing]

- Everybody say bye!
- Bye, Zuri!

- Thank you so much for being here.

- We love you!
- Wow.

Well, I hope you enjoyed your dinner.

One point for each of you.
[bells ding]

- Hey!
- Oh hey, huge. Come on.

- Cool. Really nice.
- Team effort.

- Next up, and I'm
regretting this challenge

at this particular moment,

who can take the funniest candid of me?

- Go ahead and roll the clip.

- Oh my god.

- Does that look familiar, Sam?

- I think it's Vic's house.
- It's my house.

- Wait a minute!

This is my home!

- We just realized we can
do a lot more together

than we could apart.

- This is a camera you put in my home!

- Inside your home.

- For a length of time!
- [Jacob] Did you not notice

any new electronics in the house recently?

- [Sam] This is so many different days!

- [Lou] We thought, let's
just really shotgun it,

make sure we get something.

- [Sam] I spend so much time on my phone!

- We're learning that, yeah.
- [Lou] Down you go!

- [Vic] ♪ Ba ba-da ba ♪

- I must be the most inobservant
person on the planet.

- You got a really weak brain, man.

- To think what that
camera must have captured

that you didn't show.

- Oh, and look, all three of us,

we all scrubbed the whole thing, dude.

- Everything.
- Tip to tail!

[Sam laughing into shouting]

- I gotta say, I'm both
horrified and impressed.

That's three points for each of you.

[bells ding]
- United front.

- United front.
- United front.

- Next up, players.

Oh.

- [Jacob And Sam in Unison] Oh!

A final transformation.

- I have finally Animorphed.

[Sam gasping]

Free.
- Wow, Vic.

- My final transformation.
- Wow! Wow.

- [Vic] Thank you.
- Wow.

- I am person.

- You know what?
- No, stop.

- For all of those
stages, I am going to say,

an additional point for you.
- Wow.

- One whole point?
- Yes.

- Thank you, Sam!

- Next up, players, the
last challenge of our game.

Who can collect the most locks
of hair of people they know?

Lou, we'll start with you.

- What was your ideal
version of this task?

- Well, I-
- [Lou] Was it that

I would walk in here

with a giant bag of my
friend and loved ones' hair?

- Yeah, that about sums it up.

- My brother's in the audience.

You wanted him to watch me
hand you a Ziploc bag of hair

that I scrounged barber shops for?

- Just having hair in our
home for an entire year?

- Yeah, like, you know, like a...

Kind of like a serial k*ller.

Why are you all looking at me like this?

- Let's go ahead and
change the next slide.

This was us precisely one year ago.

An iconic image that is now
memed across the internet

as a accidental renaissance painting.

Do you have any inkling
of what we went through

after we went through that?

- We have decided that this is
actually no longer about you.

- We are not interested in these points,

because that would suggest
that all that I have done

here today was for you, and
that is simply not true.

Everything I did for this episode

was inspired by and
dedicated to these two people

standing on this stage beside me.

A year ago, we were broken,
drunk, and defeated!

Today, we stand triumphant, glorious!

A year ago, we said you can c*m now!

We are the ones who will be cumming!

I am cumming!

Everybody!

- [All] I am cumming!

I am cumming!

- I mean it, stay back!
- I am cumming!

- Don't worry, Sam.

It's still "Game Changer",
and there's a prize.

- You won, Sam!
- You won.

- Your prize today is a one hour session

with Maria Two-Straps, a kink therapist.

- Sam, during our time at Dropout,

we've observed reoccurring
patterns of control

in your interactions with others,

accompanied by notable
emphasis on fetish and kink.

We believe that it's crucial for you

to introspect and delve
deeper into these tendencies.

- Wow.

- So we, all of our friends who helped us

make this amazing
episode, all of the crew,

we're going to exit out
this door right here.

We're going to go outside

and we're going to have a nice party.

I think there's a little fondue fountain.

You are more than welcome to join us

after you have spent one calendar hour

hanging out with Two-Straps here.

Take your seat.
- Yeah, now.

- Yeah, it's time.
- Right now.

- Like, all bits aside,

I'm really interested to
see what happens here.

- Sam, just in case this
wasn't a big enough prize,

we got you one last thing.
[elegant classical music]

- [gasps] Oh my god!

- Nothing accidental about that.

- [Sam] This is gorgeous!

- Sam, you can c*m now.

- Ooh!
- Come on, everybody.

- Let's go! Come on, we gotta party!

- Party, party, party,
party, party, party!

- Hey, have fun. Have fun, everybody.

- [Vic] Bye.
- [Sam] I'll be out there.

Sooner or later. Henry's here!

Oh! I want to hang out with Henry!

- Hello, Sam.

- So nice to meet you.

Where should I begin?

[overwhelming dance music]

- It's a bounce house!
- Great job.

I'm so proud of you.
- We did it!

- So, let's dive deep,

'cause I've heard some things.
- Yeah.

- But I want to hear
it from your own words.

- Izzy Roland once asked
me, "Is this a kink?"

And my response to her
was, "I don't know."

[overwhelming dance music]

- The molly's hitting.

- It's this interesting paradox, right?

The desire, the need for control,

usually comes from deep feelings
of not feeling in control.

- Yes, for sure.
- I'm afraid of vulnerability.

Sometimes you push people away, and-

- Push them away with rigorously difficult

game shows, for instance.
- [Maria] Exactly.

[overwhelming dance music]

- The reality is that
I'm more of a gentle dom,

and I play more of an un-gentle dom.

- Gotcha.

[overwhelming dance music]

- [All] It's over!
[all cheering]

- Guess I'll leave you
with a final question.

- Sure.
- An introspective question.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You can answer it, if you want.

[somber music]

Putting on this facade.
- Yeah.

- I'm Sam, check out my cool game show

where I humiliate people.
- Sure.

- [Maria] That's what
you're coming forth with.

- Yeah.

- What does it look like to
just walk out there and say,

hey, I'm Sam.

[somber music continues]

- I'm totally cured!
- [Jacob] Yeah, right!

- That brings us to the end of our show!

Our scores at the end, Jacob with 27,

Vic with 12, Lou with 28!

The winner of our episode, Lou Wilson!

Lou, you win the swear jar.

And inside this swear jar is
a government bond for $1,000

which you can redeem in 2035.

[Jacob cackling]

That does it for us
here at "Game Changer".

I am your host, Sam Reich,

reminding you that if the
best time to do a game show

was a year ago, the
second best time is now.

Goodnight.

[inspirational music]

[inspirational music continues and fades]