01x21 - The Canine Cure

[bunniefuu]

What's the story, Wishbone?What's

this you're dreaming of?Such a

big imagination On such

a little part What's the

story, Wishbone?Do you think it's

worth the look?It kind of

seems familiar Like a story

from above Shake a leg

now, Wishbone Let's swag

anotherSleeping on

an adventure with

Wishbone on the trail Come on,

Wishbone

Watch the story, Wishbone

Watch the story, Wishbone

Watch the story, Wishbone

Watch the story, Wishbone

Cookie!

Cookie!

All right, cookie jar. I will now bring

you to me using only the power of my

mind. Ready?Come here! The

amazing Wishpony commands you!

Umm

Resisting me, are you?Well, we'll see

whose will is stronger.

Joe! This isn't over yet,

cookie jar.

Joe! You look hungry. How about a little

help with the cookie jar, buddy?Hey,

Wespoon!

Welcome, Nathaniel. Just go ahead and put

everything in the study, okay?So,

Nathaniel's my new roommate, huhThat's

great! Welcome to my room! Make yourself

at home just throw your things anywhere!

Um, not there, though. That's my chair.

Oh, Bob, hey, Joe, you don't want to

leave that there?At 3 o'clock, the sun

comes in on that spot, so I'll be napping

it. Oh, no no no no, that thing is all

wrong for this room. Look at the color.

It's too blue. It reminds me of

water and bath time and ugh, how's it go?

It's not going, is it?Well, I think

that's just about everything. Thanks. I

wish my mom would repaint the house every

weekend. So you're allergic to

pink pins, huhWell, we're not sure, but

my mom thinks better safe than sorry.

This is a list from my mom of everything

I'm allergic to, broken down by food

group. Each allergy has a phone number

next to it, you see?Oh, the number's

here. Right. That's the number for which

medicine I should take if I accidentally

eat or inhale any of those things. The

medicine list is on the last page.

This addendum has a list of possible but

unconfirmed allergies. We're waiting. Oh.

I see. Great.

Boy, if you look for sickness, that may

be all you find. Maybe Nathaniel needs

someone to show him the power of mind

over matter. He needs someone like...

Oh yeah!

Moyer lived in France over 300 years ago,

and she was the most famous playwright of

his time. Welcome

to the theatre, melanza, monsieur. I am,

of course, Moyer, the author of tonight's

play, The Imaginary Embalue. What I have

written is farce, that is, a comedy to

illustrate a point. Speaking of points,

I need someone to help me point out the

characters. So I have written in my own

sermon, Toinette.

This play concerns me as Argon, who

imagines that he's sick. I

need to know who really loves me.

Is it my doctors, Bourjon and Pierron?

My second wife and her lawyer?

Or is it my brother and daughter?Let's

see it. Toilette! Where's my

set?In real life, of course, I'm a nice

guy. But tonight, I play the role of

Argon. He's a little gruff.

But don't worry. His bark is worse than

his bite. Let the b*llet begin!

It's about time! I could have died

twice in the time it took you to get here!

Master, I came running as fast as I can.

When was the last time you got up and

ran?29, time for my 17th pill.

Bring me some water, you boo, and take

care not to spill. Again, Master Argon,

you've just had your last. You dope!

You moron! I'm dying! Make it fast!

My heart's palpitating. Ohh I've got a

stitch! All you've got is money. You're

making poor doctors rich. Just keep your

shirt on,to your water. Might get quite,

you fool! And then bring me my daughter!

Your daughter?My daughter! I mean,

Angelique! Go get her! I'm going, you

crop the antique!

Oh, I shouldn't be running. Ooh, if I

caught her out of stock. Ouch! I need an

injection. Better call the doctor.

Doctors cost too much cash, but when

Angelique comes to me, I'll make her

marry one, and I'll be examined for free!

Wow, did she include anything for doctor

digestion?How about Tender Paw?All right,

Nathaniel, I'm going to put all of the

medicines your mother sent right here on

the counter, okay?Okay

Let's see, cough syrup, cough

drops, decongestant, stomach soother, ear

drops, eye drops, poison ivy lotion,

elastic bandages, inhaler, and

a snake bite kit, just in

case we need it.

That's a lot of stuff. Yeah, my mom likes

to be ready for a disaster. How about a

cookie?Oh, I gotta check the food allergy

list. I love chocolate chip. Oatmeal

resin. That should be okay.

Ah Look deep into my eyes, Nathaniel. You

are totally under my power. Now,

listen closely. Feed the dog.

Feed the dog. Hmm,

you're not hypnotized, are you?All right,

looks like we'll have to do it the

old-fashioned way.

Oh, believe! Please look at the cute

dog and give me some cookies! Please

please please please please please please

Here you go, Wishbone. It's cheap, but it

works. So your mom likes to be prepared,

huhWell, she's just very

thorough. Well, they didn't know, but

I had asthma when I was born, and I was

really sick. Since then, my mom really

worries about me. Well, I understand. I

worry a lot, too. You do?What about me?

Does anybody worry about my health?Of

course I do. All parents worry. We can't

help it. We take care of you, and someday

you may have to take care of us. In the

imaginary invalid, Argon wanted his

daughter to take care of him by marrying

a doctor. He was kind of selfish, though,

because she loved someone else.

Ohh Where is my daughter?I need her right

now! She waits in the hall, so don't have

a cow.

You sinned for me, Father?Whatever is

wrong. My

money's the matter. It won't last very

long. The bills are too heavy for me to

carry, so I found the doctor

whom you will marry. Why,

what's the matter there, Angelique,

sweetie?You look all pale, and your eyes

have gone beady. I'm the sick one here.

Let's keep that in mind. I'm

sorry, Papa, but it's awful to find the

direction the conversation is heading. It

seems we have different plans for my

wedding, you see?I met this

guy. Oh, you haven't heard?Well, you'll

marry Diaphorus, and that's the last

word. Now you've done it.

You're such a cruel man. Do you really

think you can win with this plan?Of

course I do, you wait! I'll bite off your

arm! Master, please, try to stay calm.

Just let me ask you one simple

thing. I am cool. Go ahead. Master,

I hate to bring this up, but... Are you

really sick?

Am I really sick?Are you dumb,

dense, or thick?Look at me, Toinette!

I'm as sick as a dog! My

stomach's a mess and my head's in a dog!

I can barely stand up! I can hardly

move! So nothing I say can change you or

prove that you're wrong. But if you're

really ill, then go see a doctor, and

then pay the bill. Well, those bills

do add up. So this little cutie must

marry a doctor. It's her daughterly duty,

and I'm her dad, so what I say is

the law, and no one can stop me! You take

your paw off of her now! I won't let you

do it! Won't let me, my servant!

You just blew it!

She'll marry him, you fool!

Yes, she will! No, she won't! Yes, she

will!

Hey, you can't do that. He's like,

yeah, it's the king. Kings can do

anything. All right.

Oh, man. One more

game. Umm Sure.

Ah, that's probably the pizza I ordered

with my psychic powers. Don't move. I'll

open the door from here. Nathaniel, your

mom's here. My mother?Ohh

Your mother delivers pizza?We'd better

give her a big tip.

I don't mean to be any bother, Ellen, but

I found Nathaniel's vitamin schedule on

his dresser and you know how kids are

about their meditation. No, it's fine,

Belinda. We're so excited to have

Nathaniel. They've been having such a

good time. Nathaniel, you look a little

pale. Are you feeling all right, honey?

I'm fine, Mom. Did you take your

antihistamine today?Oh,

Alan, I just wanted to ask you if you

think that this... Oh, I'm

sorry. What

is this?What's wrong?You have a

dog. How observant. Yes, that's Wishbone.

Are you, um, scared of dogs?Uh,

no. I love dogs.

Nice doggy. Good boy. Oh,

sure. Nice doggy. You can't

fool me. You're either a dog person or

you're not. She's not. But, uh,

Nathaniel's allergic to dogs. He

is?He is?I am?Yes.

Mom, I don't see dogs anywhere. What?

But you are very, very, very

allergic to dogs. That's why we don't

have one. They make it impossible for him

to breathe. The hair aggravates its

sinuses and they give him hives. Oh, and

what about dander?You should

see him scratch great clouds

of dander everywhere. Oh, a few flakes.

Is that a crime?I don't know how I

could've forgotten. Oh, come on,

Nathaniel. You don't believe that, do ya?

You're not allergic to me. I'm one of

those new non-allergenic dogs. Hey. That

wasn't a sneeze. He said cute. He's

telling you he thinks I'm cute, right,

Nate?I'm really

sorry, Mom. I forgot. Oh, you poor

dear. Don't worry. We'll get you a hotel

room. Oh, um, no, no, it'll be

okay. Um, Joe, why don't you put Wishbone

in the yard, and then, um, I'll vacuum

all the rugs. Nathaniel, you can stay in

Joe's room, and I'll put Wishbone in the

study for the weekend. Put me in the

study?I'm sorry to cause all this

trouble, Ellen, but Nathaniel's so

sensitive. Don't be silly. It'll be

fine. Uh, no, it won't, actually.

Let's be reasonable, people. Let me put

it this way. Don't lock me in this study!

I'm really sorry, Joe.

I can't. I can't help it. True, but

neither can Joe. He loves me too much to

lock me away, right, Joe?You'd never do

that, pal, right?I think of all the

things I do for you. I put your tennis

ba*ls, I catch your frisbees. I finish

his dinner. I can't.

Joe?

Well, this has been a fun afternoon.

I'm not making Nathaniel sink. His mother

is, just like Argon's wife in the

imaginary envelope.

What I wantMore than anything is

for you to be well. If you need more

doctors, I have some things I could sell.

No, No my dearest. I have plenty of

money. That's what I want to discuss, my

dear Snuggle Bunny. I'm not getting

younger and I'm feeling so ill that I

think it's time that we spoke of my

will. Oh, no!

I can't bear it to think of you dead!

It's too much, it's awful! But

what's that, you said?By law,

all my wealth will go to my daughter.

But you're so dear and so frail that I

think that I ought to. Oh, don't say it.

It can't be. But how much

did you say you were leaving to me?

All of it, my sweet. I wish it were more.

I just happen to have a lawyer just

outside the door.

It's horrible, awful, but if

it makes you happy...

Get the papers, you jerk! Come

on, make it snappy!

Tie me to a tree, will you?Well, you

obviously haven't reckoned with the

superior power of mind over matter, for

the great Wishbone is one of the world's

greatest deceived artists!Watch and

learn! You gotta get your leg just

over the... I saw

us in the moving lights, but I... Ow!

That did it. Okay, a little to the left,

and we all...

Ta-da! Help.

Bruce, what happened?Oh, you poor little

guy. Ah, we all had a change of heart,

right?I'm free, right?I'm really

sorry, guys. That's not what I wanted to

hear. It's not your fault, Nathaniel.

I know. I guess I'll see you guys when

you get 'em tied up again?Yeah. Okay.

Bye, Wishbone. Nice meeting you. Oh yeah,

same here, Nathaniel. Have a great time

staying at my house. Help yourself to

anything you want. Your kibble, chew

toys, anything. Really?

Well, I hope he's happy now. David, it's

not Nathaniel's fault that he's allergic

to dogs. Looks like he feels terrible

about it. I know. Only there's a way to

prove to Nathaniel that... some of his

problems might be in his imagination.

What are you talking about?He was playing

with Wishbone all afternoon, and he was

fine. It wasn't until his mom came and

told him he was allergic to Wishbone that

he started getting sick. I

think it's time to convince Nathaniel

that he's not as sick as he thinks he is.

Although... Convincing someone that

they're OK isn't always easy.

Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

No, you're not. Dear brother, there is a

word for what you've got. It's called

health. And you've got plenty of it. All

those pills you take, your doctors must

love it. You're fine. No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. No, I'm not!

Ah, yes, Mr. Fleur! Find me a c*cksucker

Tell him you'll do it later. This is

doctor's orders. I simply can't allow it.

You'll have to. He said later, you

overgrown mosquito. You

can't. This appointment is now

finito.

Not to worry, brother. I will take care

of it.

What's this I hear about someone

disobeying Doctor's orders?

Doctor?I was just saying. Are you

wicked, fool?To think that

I gave you so much time and effort to to

keep you from the grave?Ohh Now

you've gone and done it. You'll see how

quick you'll start to pedibulate or

you'll be sick. You'll live

Defy. No. Yes, it will. Your

spleen will will will

somersault and beg for a pill.

Ohh

Being overdoctored is this man's only

disease. He doesn't mean it. He's mad.

That's the last straw. I hereby pronounce

you the sickest man I ever saw. I'm

doomed! You heard him! I may as well be

dead! Now that you're through with

doctors, please let me discuss your

daughter because she is... pining for her

true love, and you must! Don't speak of

her! It's my wife whom I can trust! Then

why not play dead?Then we'll see who

cares and who wants to get ahead. Put

them to the test, your daughter and your

bride. Alright, go get them and

tell them that I've died.

And the calcium supplement. Okay.

Good. Okay, I'm going

home. Okay. Nathaniel, you have a great

time, sweetie. I will. Night, mom.

Goodnight. Goodnight, boys. Night, mom.

Night, Jill. Goodnight.

Good night, Wishbone. It's only for one

more day, boy. Oh, only

one more day?Wait, nothing wrong with

spending two days in prison for a crime

I didn't commit. I'm innocent, I tell ya.

Innocent!

Fortunately, the amazing Wishpony cannot

be caged! Using only the power of my

brain, I will now levitate over this

barrier!

HmmMust have

put on a few pounds since the last time I

did this. Oh, well. When brain power

fails, you can always use your head. It

can be done!

Lint.

Now, just need the

right velocity.

Hi, Ellen. Good book.

Made it back in the old bedroom.

Now, to place the dog near the subject.

Oh, nay. How's the breathing?

Sounds pretty good.

Hey, how about now?Still good, huhWell,

I'm convinced you're not allergic to me.

Now, it's time to prove it to you.

You see, madam, it is like I have said.

Here lies your husband, stiffened and

dead. I know you're

crushed, you'll miss him so.

I thought he was never going to go.

You don't sound very disturbed by this

news. My waiting is over.

I paid all my dues. He was

disgusting and vile, mean and

cheap. I prayed for this every

night before sleep. Now, get

rid of his body, and I'll get all

his money. Would you like

that in cash?Or will a chick do?

Honey?

You're alive! It can't be! Yes, it can!

'Cause I am!

And there goes a mistake I won't make

again! All the things I meant. Oh, the

gibs I bought her! Master Play Dead! Here

comes your daughter!

Bad news. Your dear father's dying.

At least now you and Cleon won't have to

hide. No, it can't be.

Oh, my poor father. Nothing matters now.

Even marriage. Why father?Cleant,

my love, I can't give you my hand. I must

breathe, for your purpose. I understand.

I know you loved him. You said he was

sick, but who would have dreamed this

would happen so quick?Oh, if only he'd

lived. I'd like to shake his paw.

Leant?Say hi to your new

dad-in-law! Papa,

you're alive! Your heart's beating still!

You betcha I am! I'm not even ill!

And in case I ever do become unwell, I'll

be my own! Dr. Twinette, sound the bell!

It's wedding time now, my sister

describes. Lots of food, lots of dancing,

and lots of goodbyes.

Thank you! Thank you, ladies and

gentlemen. Your applause is nice! But if

anyone feels like throwing up some pork

chops, I don't mind.

Nathaniel, it's time to get

up.

Nathaniel?

Morning, Joe. Hey, we overslept.

David Smith will be here soon. How do you

feel?Great. The humidifier really does

the trick. And you did a great job of

vacuuming all the dog hair out of here.

Well, almost all the dog hair.

Oh, good morning, guys. Sleep well?

Everybody breathing clearly?Not

almost all of it, all of it. Believe me,

I know if there's any dog hair left in

here.

Hello.

There's a dog in my bed. Yeah, well,

your bread isn't so great in the morning

either, Al. Nathaniel, listen to me.

I don't know how Wishbone got out, but

you slept with him all night, and you

feel fine. I... I feel

fine?So, maybe you're a little

more healthy than your mom thinks you

are. Maybe you're not allergic

to dogs, yeah?Yeah, maybe, maybe you're

right. I feel fine. You

betcha do, Nate. Ah,

that's nice. A little to the left,

please. Oh, that feel's good. Well, at

least there's one allergy I know I don't

have.

That's enough, mate. Oh, what if that

tickles?Uh I'm allergic to kids! Hey,

let's take which one to the part. What do

you say?This sounds great. I

like the part, but let's talk about

breakfast. I'm thinking non-allergenic

pancakes. Mmm!

Moliere believed that the purpose of

comedy was to correct men's vices.

He tried to improve people by

exaggerating their worst quality and best

quality, using character types that the

audience would recognize through their

gestures, facial expressions, and makeup.

Angelica, the good, innocent daughter,

that sassy rascal of a serpent, and Dr.

Brigal, the smug, bossy doctor. Nice

nose, huhTheaters often used

tableaus to introduce these types.

Tableau is French for painting. Like

these designed by our artists, tableaus

would display charactersfrozen on their

sets, so that they look just like a

painting. When put on a revolving

platform, tableaus could quickly and

easily show several scenes without moving

large set pieces. Pretty handy, huhLet's

look at that again! Ha ha ha! One more

time, please! Got carried away. You

know, a dog can have a great time with a

theater.