03x12 - The Bank Job

[bunniefuu]

hi Mom I'm going to school now okay

honey where's Dad Vicki I haven't seen

him this morning your father's back on

his health kick again he went jogging he

took Vicki with him he said he was going

to run five

miles now I know why he took Vicki with

him he needs someone strong to carry him

home I'll get it

oh no what

happened nothing it's a joke I'm fine

Vicky put me

down thanks a lot Ted that's not funny

you scared me half to death you scared

me the other

half Bye Mom bye Dad bye you know how I

feel about all that jogging especially

five miles man five miles is nothing

right rcky right especially when you jog

one and I carry you

four oh Vicki you're so cute now why

don't you go jog your

cabinet you know Hy you should exercise

more I mean it keeps you healthy you see

that's why I never get a cold or any of

that other stuff that's going around do

I look like I need more exercise well

not right this minute but you got to

think about the future honey I mean one

night you could go to bed looking like

Shelly Long and wake up the next morning

look looking like Shelly

Winters okay come on let's keep little

jump Jacks going now let's get rid of

that flab come on girls I do not have

flab okay 5 6 7 eight come on Kum you're

looking great this guy's worse than a TA

of the Hun he's over your heads now come

on try to reach that ceiling and stretch

stretch stretch

[Music]

no Vicky come on

down all right now let's do 100 situps

come

on forget it Buster I'm

pooped no more exercise for

me oh Vicki would you use your Magnetic

Personality and get me that can of soda

please use my Magnetic

Personality thanks

her mom has a g*n her flab is

pooped like your dad said it's important

for a woman to to keep her health and to

keep her figure to keep her husband's

interest well wouldn't you appreciate a

lovely wife Jamie none of my age I'd

rather have a

hamster

hi

hi see anything you like yeah

thanks it looks like Dad rather have a

hamster I don't feel so very well honey

I'm very very sick oh the big Macho

HealthNet is sick a poor little boy my

head is pounding a and my throat hurts a

and the company doctor says I have the

measles relax Joanie you already had the

measles Jamie's been

immunized and a robot can't get anything

not even a cold I can get

cold stop that

VI look at my eyes honey they're like

two raw eggs with ketchup on

them Vicki would you fix your dad some

hot tea and honey for his throat forget

it Buster him pooped

one more exercise for me Vicki you

better go make Dad the tea before he

exercises your plastic

behind got the

picture oh honey I am so sick and so

weak is Mommy going to take care of baby

teddy oh of course she

will now baby teddy lie down and Mommy

will get the thermometer and take the

baby's tempy wimpy okie dokie I think

I'm going to barf you

Ary ah here we

are uh it's not the kind that goes in

your mouth I suddenly feel so much

better I can't

tell Joanie joany Teddy Teddy Teddy

where they told me at the office you'd

come home sick I rushed right over well

that was awfully nice of you Brandon hey

I'm not just your boss I'm also a warm

sensitive guy I brought you something to

take your mind off your illness keep her

from getting bored what's that this

briefcase is full of

work there's enough there to keep you

busy for two weeks well thank you

Brandon what a caring friend you are

Brandon I'm not sure how much work Ted's

going to be able to do he should get as

much rest as possible with the

measles measles as sure ra get get any B

baby boo

boo that's right you better not get too

close no problem I had measles when I

was a kid boy did I look funny too my

cheeks swollen out to

he I got a news for you Brandon you

didn't have the measles you had the

mums Ms a different itsy-bitsy baby boo

boo you mean

I could catch measles from you well you

probably probably already

have wait Brandon I'll take your

temperature a coward at least you found

a great way to get rid of

Brandon here is your

tea oh thank you Vicki that's

nice it's just a little cold uh could

you make it hotter please make it hotter

oh thank you

Vicki it's a little weak uh could you

make it

stronger boy this guy's worse than a

till of the

[Laughter]

hun I'll get it now you lie down

okay Branda what are you doing back here

my wife won let me in the house why not

well when I was over there and I told

her I'd been here and Ted had the

measles she threw me out she never had

them what happened to your hand I was

trying to get in through window she

slammed it on my

fingers I think I'm getting sick too I

feel a

chill what are you going to do about a

place to stay oh that's no problem I

already found a place it's real nice

they'll take great care of me c to my

every whim where

[Laughter]

here here's your tea it's hot and strong

oh thanks Ricky I could really use that

to warm my little tummy warm your little

tummy

[Music]

[Music]

wake up morning

Brandon what's up funny

you you're

fat face you look like howdy

Duty oh yeah well kids could use your

face to play Connect the

Dots stuck here with the measles what

could be worse being stuck here with

you but we won't be bored you brought

home enough work to keep us both busy

for a month you crazy I don't do any

work at the office why should I do any

here good morning how you feeling honey

not too good Brandon in this house I am

honey oh sorry

honey how's your hand Brandon hurts when

I do this then don't do

that oh T while you were asleep the uh

the bank called they said they were

going to be overdrawn you didn't deposit

your paycheck yesterday well honey that

was because it came straight home from

the office cuz I felt so rotten I'd feel

rotten too I've seen your

paycheck well I'll just drop by the bank

and deposit it well thanks honey it's

over there on the desk oh now now if

anyone comes the door while I'm gone you

wear those masks I don't want you

spreading all of your germs around okay

now Joe no Joe you can't leave a man in

my condition alone who's going to take

care of me who's going to feed me who's

going to give me my

spongebath don't overdo it Brandon I'll

slam the window on your

nose hi Mom hi Dad hi Mr brindle

oh wow look at your faces I know don't

remind me your eyes are like two raw

eggs with ketchup on

them look like a horrible blotchy mess

not that

good Hey listen why don't you send the

kids to the bank sweetheart yeah I send

the kids

sweetheart okay uh Jamie would you mind

going by the bank and depositing a check

for us sure Mom oh great thanks come on

Vicki

hi the redhaired creature with the

freckled

face the chubby creature with the tight

pants okay we're even Harriet come on in

make yourself at home you always try to

keep me out why are you inviting me in

cuz I'm going out bye wait I'll go with

you I'm just going to the bank good I

can tell everybody my man's in High

Finance come on Vicki okay tight pants

hurry

don't you have anything to say to your

poor sick father no but I have a message

for Mrs Lawson from my mother well

what's that Harriet she says if my dad

gets really sick and has to be rushed to

the hospital don't bother to call she's

gone

[Music]

bowling Vicky wait here while I go to a

dad's check wait

here jez Dawn money machines never

worked right I can make it

work s how did you know how to do that

that's how my father fixes the stereo

and

me you know Jamie after we're married

we'll be doing a lot of banking together

you'll putting all of your money into

our joint account and I'll be spending

it Harriet there's a fine line between

wishful thinking and Total Insanity

you've just crossed it next please

excuse me kids hey you can't do that

lady my man has a very big deposit to

make well I have a very big withdrawal

to make hi there hello hi may I have

some money please oh certainly how much

everything you've got what this is a

hold

up you heard me fella this is a hold up

give me all your money you got back

there sure right you got it lady stop

calling me lady you bet anything you say

ma'am just take it easy we don't want

anyone to get hurt now do we just take

it easy here's your money all right

everybody in the back room let's go move

it yes no you three kids stay here come

on move fast fast okay kids up against

the wall and keep quiet don't make me

nervous I'm new with this I warn you

lady my boyfriend here is an expert in

karate he has a black belt she's only

half right I do have a black belt but

all the does just hold up my

pants okay come on get over there get

over there move it what are you trying

to do Har get me shot man is supposed to

protect his woman you want everyone to

think you're a

coward I can live with that

this is it h this won't even cover the

cost of my panty

hose there's more money over there what

I said there's more money over there

good thinking kid but how do we get it

out like

[Music]

this

fantastic want to be my partner here's a

20 Fe of trouble

cutie you're real cute

honey you're real cute too

honey oh no you blew my disguise kid now

the cops will know I'm not just another

pretty

face he sure makes an ugly woman he's

just like my mother she doesn't shave

her legs

either you in the bank this is the

police you in the bank oh shucks just

want was getting the hang of

this the place is surrounded come out

with your hands up do you hear that he

said the place is surround man with your

hands

up fantastic come here kid you two pick

up the

money tell

him I'm not giving up without a fight

he's not giv up without a

fight tell him I've got hostages he's

got

hostages thanks you're

welome what are you doing the score's

tied there's only a minute to play you

can see who won on the 6:00 news what

this is my house and my TV yeah but I'm

your guest only because CU you forced

yourself on us I did I did not did I did

not

not okay now what's going on in here

well I'm trying to watch the ball game

and he wants to watch some idiotic rerun

Gilligan's Island is not

idiotic knock it

off listen to you two grown men acting

like babies n i No Sir she started it

give me that

you owow

there'll be no more TV for either of you

we interrupt this program to bring you a

special News Bulletin a robbery is in

progress at the Elm Street branch of

second Citizens Bank there are

unconfirmed reports that customers

including three children are being held

hostage no Joanie that's our bank we'll

interrupt this program with further

reports as they come in we now return to

Gilligan's Jamie and Vick you're in

there so is Harriet we got to get down

there come on uh

you'll never take me coppers as long as

I got these

hostages answer the phone bullhorn

[Music]

mouth I don't trust these rotten cops I

better keep an eye on

them second Citizens Bank we pay high

interest rates low mortgage rates and

hold

hostages what are they saying the rotten

cops want to know your

demands tell them I want a getaway car

big enough for me and you three kids and

a pair of shoes with low heels in

red hey more bank robbers

no no no don't shoose

got what' you say

I said we we got the measles we're

contagious

measles get out of here officer it's our

children in the B oh all right that's

different you can stay here but don't

breathe officer you have got to go in

there and get my little girl out of

there you can go back later and get his

kids so take it easy we're doing the

best we can yeah well that's not good

enough all right you give up now or

we're coming in with g*ns blazing

what do you mean

we would you give me that and get back

here before I lock you both

up feel quiet out there it's making me

nervous

again Jamie just in case we don't get

out of this

alive just once tell me you love

me here it what can it hurt I won't tell

anybody

oh all right Harriet I love you you

hearted World he's crazy about

me get the

phone hello hostage

speaking what' they

say they have your getaway car also a

pair of loow heeled brown shoes Brown

it's going to clash with my purse

I asked for red all right get over here

we're going you lead the

way us three got to stick together got

it got it stick together let's

go oh there she is I mean he I mean what

is

it kids are you all right so far dad

listen you don't need the kids we'll go

in their place right Brandon right he'll

go in their

place no deal as long as I got these

kids the cops won't touch me officer

please do something lady the man has a

g*n we don't want the kids to get hurt

maybe I can do something Vicki use your

Magnetic Personality on the

robber great my kid's life is in danger

he's running a charm

school use my magnetic person

personality what the heck is that I

don't believe it come on get him get him

good gu Jamie you all right you all

right oh thank it's over in you're safe

no thanks to Jamie I thought he'd

protect me but I guess chivalry is dead

yeah and I didn't intend to join

it no for the life of me I can't figure

out why that guy threw the g*n to the

little girl oh why well uh you know I

guess he was just nervous I mean

wouldn't you be nervous wearing a bra

and panty

hose you got the money back and the

robber officer you you did a great job a

great

[Music]

job here's a 20 for your trouble cutie

[Applause]

[Music]