02x18 - Little Miss Shopping Mall

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

hello we're back from shopping is

anybody

[Music]

home hi oh don't worry it's only me

jaws just when I thought it was safe to

go back in the water well I just thought

I'd check this stuff out before we go on

our company convention to Bermuda oh

look at this I about the cutest swimsuit

for our

trip oh honey thanks I'll look adorable

in

that sexy yet practical I mean some

women look so ridiculous in this tiny

swimsuits they can barely squeeze into

yeah it's like trying to put a

Volkswagen cover on a

truck they took this picture of me at

the shop M oh oh that's really cute

Vicki what's this on the back with the

taking of this picture your little girl

is entered as a contestant in the Little

Miss Shopping Mall beauty contest well

they're picking three finalists tomorrow

and the contest is the Sunday well honey

I'm afraid Vicky won't be one of the

finalists I mean the way those judges

look little girls over I mean they might

just discover she's a robot but it be

such good experience for Vicki well I

know it was for me when I was in a

beauty contest you were in a beauty CEST

don't look so amazed some people thought

it was pretty you're sexy but

practical well I just can't believe that

my shy retiring wife paraded around in a

skimpy little bathing suit I was only 9

years old I was skimpier than the

bathing suit you could say it was the

shortest career in Show

Business well I'm sorry honey I just

can't let her be a contestant it's just

too

risky I suppose you're right well we

better go get get dinner on come on

Vicki let's hurry it

up I'm going to set the table and you

can give me a

hand oh no what's the

matter I asked Vicki to give me a hand

and she

[Music]

did oh great lasagna honey thanks but

you ate too much you probably get

heartburn lasagna doesn't give me

heartburn

hi Dad gives me

heartburn hi I'm here to see your mom

and I'm here to see Jamie you're in luck

you're out of luck Jamie's spending the

weekend with his friend regie but I told

him I had the whole weekend plan for him

that's why he's spending the weekend

with

reie what can I do you Bonnie oh I just

dropped by to show you this lovely

swimsuit I got for our company trip to

Bermuda isn't that going to be kind of

revealing for you well you know what

they say about vacation you're supposed

to relax and let it all hang

out you'll be able to do that without

relaxing Mom that's my

swimsuit oh yes how was silly of me

here's

mine I brought Jamie this picture of me

will you give it to him he can keep it

next to his heart that'll give him

heartburn a professional photographer

took that while we were shopping our

Harriet has entered in the Little Miss

shopping mall contest yeah they took a

picture of Vicki in that contest too oh

Joanie Joanie Joanie why waste your time

what with car it in the contest she

doesn't have a chance I mean look at

this gorgeous red hair as opposed to

Vicki's mousy

mop mousy mop well look at this face

smile for him

honey is that a winning

smile and Harriet has such presence when

she talks people listen mommy cool at

Mommy's

talking so if you want Vicki to learn

about losing at a very tender age go

ahead and enter her in that

contest oh honey show them that Winner's

bow that I taught

you oh no honey like

this come my little

beauty there they go Beauty and the

Beast

wi is

Wich woman makes me so angry I just love

it if you could beat harri at that

contest dad said I couldn't be in it

well but Daddy doesn't know won't hurt

him I'll tell him when the time is right

when will the time be right right after

the

[Music]

contest Vicki just in case you're picked

at the finalist today in that contest I

wanted to show you how to walk I'm

already programmed tattoo walk no I I

mean a special kind of walk that girls

do in a beauty contest now watch you put

a book on your head like this and then

you walk so that the book doesn't fall

off got it here you give it a

try that's it oh beautiful Vicki

graceful

now turn without the book falling

off Vicky stop you'll screw yourself

into the

[Laughter]

ground oh wait a minute where are your

manners let's sneak a peek

[Laughter]

first hello yes this is

Lawson

yes oh oh really oh that's

wonderful oh we're just thrilled well

you bet you all right thank you so much

bye-bye oh Wicky you were just chosen to

be one of the three finalists in The

Little Miss shopping mall contest

Sunday I'm going to think of something

special for you to do in the talent part

of the

contest now this is our little secret H

our little secret h

now we better get to work get to

work well that's it Vicki oh

beautiful

gracefully oh that's great Vicki that's

right turn

[Laughter]

Vicky oh are we in trouble you can't

even walk without bumping into the

furniture Mom I'm built for Speed not

accuracy

see she's not going to beat you in that

contest kiddo you go on home and mommy

will take care of it oh boy you going to

do something sneaky well of course

what's a loving mother

[Music]

for that's it straight back nice and

poised hi loved ones home stop

Vicki what's going on what you don't

know well hurt

you we're just fooling around honey uh

Vicki's practicing being a

bookcase a bookcase huh wouldn't have

anything to do with that beauty contest

would it it's our little

secret I thought

so Ted keep an open mind don't say no

until you've heard the news okay what's

the news the people from the contest

just called and Vicki has been named one

of the three finalists yeah now I'll say

no go to your cabinet Vicki that was the

shortest career in Show

[Music]

Business Hollywood

[Laughter]

Scandal hi oh I'm so excited I just

dropped over to tell you that my

beautiful Harriet has been chosen one of

the finalists in The Little Miss

shopping mall contest oh really well it

just so happens that Vicky was too oh

yes so I overheard I so they told

me well relax Bonnie Vicki won't be

giving Harry at any competition oh well

that goes without saying I'm sure that

you're very excited about that wonderful

company trip to Bermuda well of course

we are and you just hate to Kiss It

Goodbye which you could do if Vicky's in

that contest Bonnie that sounds like a

threat oh no no no no no

no just consider it a friend pointing

out what could happen you know my

husband Brandon he's just desperate for

Harriet to win that contest and he is

your boss and he just might do something

silly like when he married

you

no oh well now that we understand and

each other I'm sure you want to call

those shopping mall people and tell them

that Vicki is not going to be in the

contest no way Bonnie Vicki is in that

contest to win oh

Ted well I'm sure that you just might

want to change your mind let me put it

to you this way Bonnie no no no no no no

[Applause]

[Music]

this is going to be

great mom I'm kind of nervous I guess

I'm glad Jamie's not here to see his

woman

sweat I hope I don't blow it oh honey

you'll be fine now just remember you're

talented you're beautiful we we love you

and if you don't win life as you know it

will be

over 2 minutes to Showtime oh think is

going to look so cute doing that song

and dance number that I taught her even

better than I did it when I was a kid

well honey uh she uh she won't be doing

that song and dance number I uh I sort

of reprogrammed her uh with something a

little bit more spectacular I want her

to

win what's she going to do you

well I hope you've uh prepared your

child for the agony of defeat well just

so happens that we think Vicki is going

to win oh of course and if I had wings I

could

fly she'd never get it off the

[Applause]

[Music]

ground a yes thank you thank you I'm

Louis Spar your Master of Ceremonies and

Welcome to our little Miss shopping mall

contest I just got back from Las Vegas

it's the only place in the whole world

you can arrive in a $10,000 car and

leave in a $300,000

bus but they got a new slot machine

there now takes unemployment

checks these are the jokes

folks that's the last joke joke I'll

ever buy from Jack

pance but enough of this bombastic

hilarity it's time now to meet our

wonderful three finalists and here they

[Music]

[Applause]

are hello what's your name Ellen sule

and how old are you I'm 12 are you

married no divorced

and who do we have here hi I'm vicious

har and

brindel and how old are you I'm a

worldly nine and tell me why would you

like to become Little Miss shopping mall

so I can be a beauty contest winner like

my

mother you mean uh she was a former Miss

America no no uh Miss Universe no she

was Miss lettuce head of the San Walken

Valley I do the jokes kid you should see

her it's no

joke and what is your name little girl

my name is Vicky Lawson I'm 11 years old

I'm not married I'm not divorced I'm not

worldly and my mother's not a lettuce

head

I know enough not to fool around with

this kid well thank you girls you can go

off stage

[Music]

now well comes time now for our talent

competition and leading off with a

fantastic rendition of the Saints Go

Marching In alen Sue Beasley

[Music]

thank you Ellen Sue I'm sure we've never

heard a rendition of the Saints Go

Marching again quite like that she

really rendered it

and now to dance her way right into your

hearts contestant number two Harriet

Brindo

[Applause]

[Music]

and that's why I

say

am on

me and by good with

brother from

to

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

joh well let's see your kid top that

huh thank you harus I must say she's a

very patriotic being

and now for our third and last

contestant the lovely adorable Miss

Vicky Lawson

[Music]

what

[Applause]

[Music]

to

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

the incredible incredible

she sings Like a Bird and she's only 11

years old guess she's a minor

bird a minor

bird well let's have the other girls on

stage here now but the judge's decision

come on out

girls you were all wonderful girls but

unfortunately there can only be one

winner so let's see who the judges

choose

the envelope

[Music]

please and the winner of this year's

Little Miss shopping mall contest is

Ellen Sue

Beasley Ellen Su

[Music]

Beasley we'd like to congratulate Ellen

Sue on her Victory and also congratulate

her parents who happen to be the owners

of this beautiful shopping mall and also

are the

[Music]

judges well you did a great job on Vicki

honey oh here's the paper thanks there

only fitting that she didn't win it's

not fair pitting a robot against a

little girl it's not fair pitting a

robot against the daughter of a shopping

mall

owner at least the brindal can console

themselves in

Bermuda that is great that is just

great what's so great about the brindle

going to Bermuda we're not neither are

they Hurricane's going to hit the area

all flights in have been

cancelled really oh that's

wonderful said Bermuda is going to be

missing out on a treat Bonnie swimming

around in that teeny weenie

bikini just when you thought it was safe

to go back in the water

[Applause]

she's a

small

Wonder lovely and bright and soft CS

she's a

small

Wonder a child un like other girls she's

a miracle and I grant you she'll enchant

you at her sight she's a

small Wonder brings love and laughter

everywhere

[Music]