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02x09 - P-P-P Paula

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Small Wonder". Aired: September 7, 1985 – May 20, 1989.*
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Chronicles the family of a robotics engineer who secretly creates a robot modeled after a human girl, then tries to pass it off as their adopted daughter, Vicki.

02x09 - P-P-P Paula

Post by bunniefuu »

I sent up tickets to you to come and see

your old pal funny money in person

so don't let your mailbox out of your

sight

[Music]

don't let the mailbox out of my sight oh

sure just thought it'd be nice to go to

the driving range in a bucket of ba*ls

before dinner ooh I'd love to great idea

honey I yeah I meant me you don't play

golf

according to the guys you play with that

never stopped you well you know how to

hurt a guy I'm just teasing she knows

about time I learned how to play instead

of me being a golf widow it would give

us an activity that we could do together

I thought we already had one well honey

I would love for you to learn but if I

started playing golf with you I'd have

to break out my regular foursome boy

those guys would be really disappointed

good old time making jokes about your

wives anymore I do not make those kind

of jokes what well I like the one about

the wife who goes to the doctor and the

doctor says I think you have an ulcer

she says I think I'd like a second

opinion he says all right you're ugly

too

hurt it huh sorry I brought up the whole

thing I just thought it'd be nice for a

change for us to share something instead

of you running off every weekend without

me well Joanie if you're really serious

about this Saturday morning well go to

the driving range for your very first

golf lesson 7:30 Sheriff it's a little

too sharp

how about noon well it's even better

give you the whole morning to change

your mind kid I'm not gonna change my

mind

who left the front door oh I don't know

Vicky was in here watching television

Vicki what are you doing I'm keeping a

close eye on the mailbox don't ever do

that again

okay funny bunny isn't going to like it

funny bunny he's this cartoon fellow on

television he wears big ears and

twitches his nose and pops around you

I'll rent you out on Easter Vicky's idea

of special delivery you don't look too

happy something happen at school yeah my

teacher wants all the kids who are doing

okay like me to help the kids who warn

congratulations

that just shows how smart you are I

wasn't smart enough to get out of it

you're gonna help put put put Paula

Preston what do you mean Papa Paula

she stutters Jamie you know better than

to make fun of a person's speech

impediment that's not why the kids make

fun of her because she's so stuck-up

now I got to spend two hours every day

after school and help her in English

well maybe she just act stuck-up because

she's embarrassed about her problem I

know I was when I was a kid I had a lisp

really yeah I sounded like Daffy Duck

suffering

that's probably Paula picking c'mere

natural clown look at the clan of

builder mrs. Lawson yes you must be mrs.

Preston and Paula oh please thank you

this is my husband Ted Jaime hi Paula

hello let's get this thing over with

won't you sit down mrs. Preston can I

get you anything

Oh No thank you well this is gonna take

a lot of patience on Jamie's part she's

been to two therapists for her

stuttering I think even Joe would have

had a difficult time with Paula

well I'm sure Jimmy I do his best to

help yeah Jamie's a good kid he he's

just at that awkward age right between

frustrating and obnoxious

so is Paula we've always had private

tutors for her but this year we decided

she oughta learn to mix with other

children in public school sounds like a

good idea

well now we're not so sure her grades

are low and she's not making any friends

this is our daughter Vicky and this is

mrs. Preston she's got a cute little

girl about your size hello mrs. Preston

has a cute little girl about my size

hello Vicki I can't help noticing she

has a rather unusual way of speaking

herself who's the author of Tom Sawyer

the author of Tom Sawyer isn't Mark

Twain Mark Twain next question

what's x girlfriend's name Becky

FAT FAT FAT you're mine will you stop

finishing my sentences I hate that

that's tamales patience with you

besides you know these answers as well

as I do so why aren't you doing better

in school none of your business I didn't

introduce you but you're not staying

long enough

[Laughter]

Ariat I'm Harriet brindle Campinas going

to do I'm a mammal e-stops fighting it

hi I'm Paula Preston hurry I'm never

gonna be your main man I can't stand you

[Music]

the other woman

Harriet you've been sucking up too much

kool-aid I'm just stopping Paula study

you actually expect me to believe that

I'm not stupid you know I watch dynasty

army Jamie I'll give you a hit it's not

you remember she may be prettier but I

don't have her flip of a problem she's

just like all the other kids she's

nothing like the other kids

it's just spoiled she's not spoiled she

always smells like that Oh biz my sister

she's probably like all the other kids

too

no she's not say hello hi I'm Paula hi

Paula

now look what you've done

Vicky

and so the lesson we learned from

Melville's moby-d*ck is that it's not

just a story about a big fish it's about

a search for a dream sort of like mine

for an A+

very well done Jamie let's see slide

polyp essence next with the report on

Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain Paula I'm not

ready Paula

this is your fifth incomplete book

report this semester one more and I'm

afraid I'm going to have to fail you do

you understand all right class dismissed

Paula yesterday you know that book

backwards why didn't you give you a

report leave me alone

wait you heard what miss Emily said you

keep this up and you're gonna flunk

that's the idea

[Music]

I like my new golf outfit mm I like like

but why waste time playing golf I come

here I know my first golf lesson isn't

until Saturday but since I'm all dressed

for it how about a few preliminary

pointers okay stand up show me the

golfers stance how's this

just a tad stiff honey let's get

comfortable here okay now just give it a

little wiggle to relax you know I'm not

[Music]

what are you doing

given mom a golf lesson okay now show me

a swing it's just like this first time

you swing that club you get a birdie

if you play golf with mom you better

work football helmet the bird flew away

sure give me a dirty look he's lucky I

didn't do something else to him how was

school is Paulo doing any better

no would you believe she's deliberately

trying to flunk deliberately why she's

subconscious about being around the

other kids I wish I could help her

and I just don't have the patience like

her mother said it would take a person

with the patience of Joel

Yeah right wait a minute how about a

robot with the patience of Job

Vickie had the cheat helped Jamie one of

the reasons I designed Vickie was to

help therapists and schools and

hospitals so why not was stuttering her

mother said that Paul has already had a

couple of adult therapists I think a kid

feels more at ease around another kid

and this is the perfect opportunity to

test Vicky's potential oh I just had a

terrible sign what's that what if it

backfires and Vickie ends up talking

like Paula suffering succotash Paula

Vickie can really help you see you pay

attention to work okay oh okay

hi what do you want Harriet I came to

apologize to Paula making fun of her the

other day I'm really sorry

sometimes I'm just a big tongue

surrounds my freckles

that's okay Harriet just I get so

jealous when I think someone's trying to

steal my man

I'm not your man

I love the way your eyes sparkle when

you're mad okay Vicki do your thing

Paulo we will start with what is called

aversion therapy read this list of words

each time you stutter I will keep this

horn okay car castle try again

candy continue garage guests good good

you invented this Harpo Marx the idea is

for you to hate the sound so much they

will stop stuttering not to hear it it's

also used for overeating at fat farms I

can see why it works I hate it

tap tamales the next exercise is called

desensitization keep saying the sentence

until it doesn't bother you to stutter

it's a tongue twister everything I say

is it tongue twister Peter Piper picked

a do I have to do this yes keep Peter

Piper pick and peppers Paula

when you feel you're beginning to

stutter relax the muscles in your mouth

until you pull out of it begin to come

sigh relax those muscles Tom Sawyer and

his friend Huckleberry Finn lived on the

banks of the Mississippi without

stuttering you just did

and besides being a very funny story Tom

Sawyer gives us an accurate look of a

boy's life among the missing

miss miss here we go again Mississippi

River thank you so proud of you

Vicki and all of you I can't thank you

enough father couldn't have done it

without you

we're just glad we could help she's

gonna be terrific from class tomorrow

pizza delivery pizza pizza Paulette it

was one of the telephone exercises yeah

and it's a great way to celebrate how

much do I owe you fifty three dollars

and 95 cents fifty three dollars for a

pizza what's on it solid gold cheese no

peppers pepperoni prawns commit wants

pineapple peanuts popcorn and pretzels

that's just the Peas do you want to hear

the ages eh no okay before class ends I

said I'd get Paula Preston a chance to

make up her book before it

are you ready Paula go get him tiger

come to the front of the class Paula I

can't

Oh Paula do don't tell me you're not

prepared again you know what that means

I'm going to have to fail you very well

let's all read till the bell but off you

know what you deserve to be made fun of

you've got no good good guts yeah you

heard me

no good good guts yes Paula

should I give my report please

indeed you may dear

the look I've chosen is Tom Sawyer by

Mark Twain

it's about two boys who lived on the

banks of the Mississippi

hey thanks for letting the plants picky

after I water them I will talk to them I

heard on TV that it makes plants grow

faster well whatever works for me but go

ahead and try it that's what I know

who's boss hi honey I know I know you're

ready for your next lesson what sounds

like the mailman Vicki would you pick up

the mail please pick up the mail Ted

I've changed my mind about golf really I

mean really I thought you liked it I

decided the only thing I liked about

golf are the cute outfits but there is

something that we can still do together

a weekend what might that be

go shopping for more cute outfit

oh no you told me to pick up the mail

ooh

[Music]

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

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