02x01 - Someone, Somewhere

[bunniefuu]

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trees come true you want them to if you

want them to learn

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[Applause]

so

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what's wrong

what do you mean what's wrong it's only

seven o'clock

so

i know don't tell me you couldn't sleep

conscience kept you awake oh we're shot

this morning aren't we

very skittish

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i thought you'd be depressed

depressed

why should i be

you know

steve going off and all that

yeah that's my girl

i came early to help you if you want to

know

where's too much work for one in there

okay

can you do these and i'll start at the

top

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day telephone good morning slugger's

coming up coming up he's just it's the

police isn't it an horse that's what

what please bring your horse here that's

what i'm trying to tell you they

telephone said they had a north

all right slacker i'll deal with it yeah

hold on

hello bird what's the trouble morning

colonel another stray i'm afraid

wondering if you can help well i don't

know only by the canal he's been hanging

about down there

as a couple moved into the loch keeper's

cottage they complained

well he's hardly astray he's in good

condition been well looked after

couldn't you have left him where you

found him oh no no formal complaint you

see loose source wandering into private

property had to do something that's the

law

but you can't just take him away whoever

owns him will be terribly worried he

won't know what's happened to him well

he shouldn't have allowed him to run

loose then should he miss

but i can't go on stabling your strays

i'm crowded out as it is

my niece here collects every rag tag and

bobtail in the area well where else can

we put him

we rely on you colonel we always are

yes i know that was before dora

oh very well just this once

but i haven't said try and trace that

donor i really can't cope we will sir

don't you worry now if you'll just sign

there you'll get costs of course um

usual rates quite quite i understand

hey um thank you very much colonel i'll

be in touch fine

uncle it's wicked

if we lost a horse we'd be frantic

shouldn't we take him back now now dora

the law is the law this horse is in

police custody in our charge but uncle

someone somewhere or be worrying about

him

well you could always ride over the lock

keeper's cottage when you exercise him

you might just find out who the owner is

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he was yours was he no i'm looking for

his owner oh he's not astray then no

he's too well looked after

oh you better come round here because if

my wife finds he's back again she'll go

mad

so you're looking for his lord and

master don't you yes

she rang the police today we moved in

take this horrible brutal way she said

you're a vulgar apparently

someone loves you don't they come in

each morning you know hangs about has a

romp then come evenly disappears

you must go somewhere i come to think of

it

not a ghost is it

no

well if you waited till evening

i suppose he'd lead you to his place

with me

of course

will it be all right oh help yourself

only

don't let him near the house or her lady

ship

oh go up there a bit and contemplate the

leeds liverpool waterway

liverpool

wonderful thing that you know just

imagine

imagine building that

no machines

picks and shovels and woofman's hands

right across them

never put something special to you

i can tell

what is

it an errant romeo

a lover

no

just a friend

ah i was right then

such friendship that doth bring a bloom

denying denial on a maiden's tongue

i'm sorry i shouldn't have said that

start your vigil i'll bring some tea

later okay

yes

thank you

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such friendship that does bring the

balloon

denying denial on a maintenance talent

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i wish i understood

it's my mother dora

she's in trouble

somewhere

she's alone and she's in trouble

i've got to find

her tell her it's all right

somebody cares will you come back

with the colonel let me

yes of course

so speaks the mistress

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will you come from yorkshire is it

yep

your mom has no idea you're looking for

him

no

we're looking for a two you know

small matter of 40 quid back rent

it's a court order out

yeah i know

i'll expect you'll find that easy enough

people will talk to you

and we want to

we have to find a

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fair enough

choose to live up there

number 48

try the neighbors

oh and uh if you find her

it's better to get it settled that

little mata know what i mean

yep

yeah

i'm uh

i'm looking for mrs ross mrs ross look

like that woman's nothing for trouble

ask anyone the milkman to bredman mr

henderson at the corner shop they'll

tell you do you know the old time she

was here she never paid her bill thought

the world over 11 or something but i

told rick the other way around you take

out what you put in

i'm a son

i'm steve ross get away but i know so

she's never told me about no sun any

road you know where she's gone no i

don't want to

hey judy your channel's ready won't be a

minute

look come back here will you it's on

that table

see what i mean our judy and your man

were the stickers thieves that guy was

as good as goal until your man came

along

hey

don't you go talking to her

look i'll get the police onto you

don't you test me

i'll get some police

just tell me do you know

judy

judy

she sent me this

is she your mom

yep

have you seen our juicy

look you're gonna get into trouble

you go home

i'll find her

tell her i sent you

your mum was ever so nice

i wish she hadn't gone away

you go

i'll tell her

she's not bad like my mom says

she's the best friend i ever had

i'll tell her

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thanks

i'm just gonna be able to cross

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my dear little judy

i got rosemary to give you this at

school because if you mum knew where i

am you tell the police

i've got a job at blackie's cafe in

corporation road safe enough to pay

everybody back

we have coffee and tea and biscuits and

toast he'd love the doughnuts

one day i'll give you a feast like you

wouldn't mind

but don't come if it would get you into

trouble i'm not worth it no one is

we must live our own lives and not hurt

others

especially those we love god bless

oh there you are

do you know him well hercules i should

say i do don't that boy

who does he belong to hercules used to

be the lock keepers i have no idea now

hey hey i'm supposed to be looking after

him

i've been the old rascal yet

go ahead julie

show him you're not done for

giddy up there

[Applause]

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um

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if it goes near the house they will

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they're supposed to sh**t dangerous

animals aren't they dangerous him

well i can't go out there can i you know

i'm frightened oh

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yes that beastly animal you were

supposed to take away but don't

interrupt

but of course he's still here

oh don't be silly how can i be imagining

it

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i

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[Laughter]

well the police will be here in a minute

and if they don't have that creature

shot

i want to know the reason why hercules

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[Applause]

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so

mr blackett here

no

you're looking for a job

no

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i'm steve

steve ross well he's not here

do you want to see a coffee

tea

do you know someone called kathy

cathy ross

no

mind you i've not been here long

they might

anyone know kathy ross

young man you're asking

you're out of luck

hey

oh no cathy

[Applause]

where is she what do you want

i'm looking for her he's not the only

one

i'm a son

i saw this

she's in trouble

i'm a son

gotta help her

you know the police won't it

yeah i know

she used to work here

but someone recognized it

[Applause]

so where'd she go

oh i had a kind word cassie

it's a cup of tea sometimes too

i wouldn't want to get her into trouble

she works nice

wait till six i'll check you

love you t

it's a while yet

oh go on boy go home

there's no more barges coming

oh go on

the police will be here in a minute

hanging about

you'd think she had better things to do

well the horse belongs to someone

doesn't it where do you think he goes

each evening

i don't know

and i don't care no you don't do you has

it occurred to you that someone does if

the police take it away he may never

know what's happened just suddenly one

night hercules doesn't come home i tell

you

if the police get here before hercules

goes off you might break somebody's

heart

that's what she's afraid of

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oh hercules go on

[Applause]

up

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her no not what you've done what he was

just on his way home

oh

dear dear dear the police are coming

they'll take him away

dear dear dear

we're supposed to be looking after him

oh get your dear don't you care the

colonel's going to be furious gonna be

he is

send me to see what the heck you're

doing i'm trying to find who owns him oh

uh old fella grey air blue eyes crumpled

clothes uh smokes a pipe got a bit of a

chest

you know him

well now you mention it yeah oh ron how

i passed him on the way up here didn't i

standing by his front gate he was

mind how you go he says to me hold

hercules will be along that path in a

moment

that's

hercules there i take it yes

hop on i'll take you a bit oh don't

worry about him

you'll be along in a moment

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is it far oh it's a charlie step here

come on

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have you seen him

he's lit

yeah well uh he got held up he'll be

along in a moment

he's all right

really

good

we're from folly foot the police brought

hercules to us we look after horses

unwanted ones old ones that sort of

thing

horses aren't wanted eh

yes

you wouldn't uh

i don't suppose you'd take hercules

would you

i mean give him almond that

don't you want him

watch this cost one image

oh my you've done it now

look

not everyone thinks a horse is the way

you do you know one at a family till

death house two parts sort of thing but

folly foot is a dumping ground for the

great unwanted if nobody wants you come

to sunny volley foot

horses

people

come on girl we gotta get back

protect look you couldn't catch him

could you so let the police do it

some of them right

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right there

steve wasn't it

yeah

hang on

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yeah had a feeling you needed me

this calls for a celebration

something stronger than that muck

could you use a drink

well

yeah okay

it's a long time since i had anything to

celebrate

steve

i'll go and get me coat

hope you've got some money because i'm

broke

and the next time we catch you lad we'll

throw the book at you

riding without lights you'll leave him

to me officer i'll find him a job he

won't forget in a hurry

any job of working he won't forget it

you nandy

[Applause]

and as for you

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come on boy we'll find you a nice store

shall we

yeah that's right

make him feel wanted

ron

what did you mean

people too

the great unwanted

nothing

you

ah you'll be amazed

not only me

me you mean

well

now you mention it

so join the club mate you're one of us

now

what about steve

steve

who knows

that's what he's going to find out

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trees

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