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01x01 - Pity the Poor Pirate

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Don Coyote and Sancho Panda". Aired: September 16, 1990 – December 8, 1991.*
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Don Coyote is a swordsman who travels the land in search of adventure, with the help of his noble horse Rosinante, Sancho Panda and his cynical donkey, Dapple.

01x01 - Pity the Poor Pirate

Post by bunniefuu »

essential

another day another Dundee another deed

done for the turn

I hope it's it done deep Don Quixote

then we are done with our kids for the

day

I hope Oh make that a year and he's got

a deal a month would be fine with me

just a minute just a minute

do I see another challenge crossing my

lands another challenge

it looks like a load of chickens to me a

sorceress device Sancho my innocent one

Oh girls take many shapes and forms we

have no choice but to charge of course

Oh No another challenge another charge I

wish I could quit this job

every car running in Twitter and on

peyote we are being carried off by the

dreaded ogre what else

Oh essential - the bounding main

nothing like a holiday at cc2 swell of

the waves as the wind blows over the

theme see the gentle rocking of the ship

at sea see it makes you feel seasick he

got that right mate

you know I am trying to decide if I

prefer fried fricassee or fajitas

sancho you would bring harm to the royal

Falcon how about eggs scrambled

does the raft seem to be getting smaller

and smaller on peyote Oh looks like Jos

number three just a minute just a minute

there's a ship on the horizon we are

saved we are saved on the contrary my

good man

it means the Kings galleon needs our

assistance here we go again

I ain't going no quarter he needs our

help dumb coyote as c*ons why else would

he interrupt our holiday this is a

holiday I'm a chicken burn but help you

know it's the king Don Quixote

it's the Insignia my good man a royal

crown rabbit on a sea of blue

holy guacamole it is a pirate ship what

we spend crime he took a bath sure and

how deeply disturb ease cuz it is her

I've ever met with an excuse there be no

excuse for personal hygiene on Jacques

boutique ship the only bath you'll get

is when you walk the plank left

what do you mean raft I can't see a

thing a captain sure try the other will

timber me shivers if those aren't fresh

recruits and I am NOT shock boutique

scourge of the seven seas

thank you one and all for inviting us to

join your respond you're like your small

group of fellows I thank you my Squire

thank you it's donkey thank you my boss

thank you the Royal spoken thank you

Obie's scurvy knave he is Don Quixote

are you think I'm Don Quixote a hero of

Heroes doer of good bane of all the TiVo

now tell me maybe be a servant her that

she can Letty that she can

what funds Henshaw the Royal yawning

club on its annual cruise where all

these fun has got me posted on coyote

now it's your turn

excellent idea essential shuffleboard on

the poop deck is a splendid diversion Oh

trouble ahead

your turn my the royal stateroom the

scourge of the seven seas is a most

gracious host would you say so Sancho my

good man yes hello

I don't think we like the Ford on coyote

well I suppose this is better than the

wrath not much better enjoy it while you

can the last horse we had around here

turned up on the dinner menu you can say

that again badge on it

Judy's right for plunder now wager tell

your posts men that near hatches and

your cannons and bring me blue gown

blonde wig and me string of pearls

aye-aye captain they always fall for the

maiden in distress look sharp men the

knaves becoming closer prepare to board

the captain she's a pirate ship I can

see that but there's a maiden in

distress you'll know the code of the

high seas we must sleep as you wish sir

who writes these codes it's a

maintenance trust me Ari's she's single

here you lend me a comb how do i lock is

me I don't straight he's a cat already

I didn't ready to take out her mainsail

why can't you see the whites of their

eyes

Oh let er rip Lance

no no that ship not this ship it would

have been easier to open the door a

Sancho shall we partake of some fresh

air I don't think that is such a good

idea Don coyote oh quince you idiot

ready another cannon and fire again

essential it's a lady of quality lashed

to the mast

I don't think so but it is and we must

rescue her but he was afraid you would

say that

fear not my fair lady

Dalton coyote of hair and maybe shave

wasn't here

three two count me in like watch

fear not

I'll save you my fair flower ooh me you

yes it is I me Don Quixote yes Don

Quixote here to save you

peanuts Avast get out of here hey it is

my sworn duty to rescue all in need

especially of the female gender oh

goodness gracious

Sancho our delicate flower have fainted

heavens no woman no woman that's shock

Boutique the scourge of the seven seas

it's a trap side

very central that's the way yes she must

away Allah Don Quixote look

where am I Romina

oh where am i rescued my fair lady away

from the pirate scourge and off to a

place of safety

hey Sancho

our fair flower has fainted again Don

Quixote yeah

ah learned at last then chose I claim

this magnificent this spoof clever

rendered this super duper problem thus

well little island in the name of the

praised what is thy name my lady humble

I claim the flag in the name of lady

dumbbell I be shocked Boutique scourge

of the seven seas I understand you wish

to hide your identity but there's no

need my dear you're among friends here

I fear the target flower has been

overcome by her ordeal at sea his hunch

Oh something like that and before my

fair lady could tell us her to name the

me she'll always be the baby with the

lumpy head how are we gonna get it

how are we gonna get off this island

anyway

oh I hope he's got an answer to that one

just a minute just a minute a good

question

he doesn't by my calculations we should

head due north or is it due south but

have no fear we'll do something oh

but whatever we do we won't do it until

you're strong enough to travel my dear

I see nothing Don Quixote only the sea

just another minute we must rely on a

true guy so royal Falcon go swiftly my

dear Falcon our destiny is riding on

your wings exactly fly far and wide over

the ocean and beyond

bring us a message of hope axle food aha

no news that bird is good for a couple

of eggs and that is he

at last now maybe I can get away o swim

to my friend land anything to get away

from that madman oh yeah it's a lovely

night for a swim my dear

Oh charming to find a damn

at last free to be me if I'd done peyote

joining you in a flight of fancy sewing

government I'll show you sorry last

thank God I'm home food to the warm

hearts and the lovin arms a me little

wife and me 32 children anything to get

away never get me now

goodbye wife and kids boo might as well

look at the bright side at least I'm rid

of that dumb coyote hello there

listen like a friendly game of five-card

gin rummy to pass the time I'm not

familiar with that one pray tell is it

anything like hi

spit in the ocean nasty weather we're

having a m'lady but fear not you always

be faith with me

don't eat

captain I say what you see look out yo

out Murray this captain tell me anyway

uh horse a donkey a chicken two men and

the ugliest woman I've ever seen the

first one sorry James the first one and

he's coming this way

it's boutique the scourge of the seven

seas and he's he's running this way

please our distinguished service to His

Majesty the King I salute you for

capturing the scourge of the seven seas

thank you thank you and thank you but

what I did with nothing beyond the call

of duty the calm of Verdun the call of

the wild for one of I done coyotes shall

live Shaba robbery shall never die and

the rescue of a fair maiden is always up

her ma ma ma mo Papa papa

oh by the way captain where is the fair

maiden she's up there Roger

you know what is mean is daunting I went

alone it means that these scoundrels are

trying to lure unsuspecting vessels was

that beautiful gonzo as bait

so we may either yes well I'm glad we're

agreed now say nothing fancy Oh

perfectly natural I have a plan

boom coyote are you sure this is her

best plan her lady I have returned to

thank you Evan a nightmare Phil not my

dreaming damsel your terrible nightmare

is about to end

I will not count on it I told you so

put me down oh what a day for a cruise

wait central do you see what I see I

don't see a thing Don coyote surely you

remember the code of the high seas

Sancho who writes these codes that

lovely maiden is in distress and it is

our noble duty to rescue her so no Don

Quixote No

though she sleeps under the spell what

it's part of her still another mission

has been accomplished sent home ah

you've done it again Don coyote oh yes

another Dundee Oh another deep done