04x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

(compelling music)

- [JOE] Coming up,

(siren wailing) (compelling music)

a driver in a panic.

- Step out of the vehicle, please.

- Dunno how to turn the thing off, yeah.

(horn honking) (compelling music)

- [JOE] A mother in a tizzy.

- [PC MCLAREN] What is it, what's wrong?

- My wee boy has fallen over and can't get up.

- Okay, look at me, look at me.

- [JOE] And a VIP goes triple X.

- Hey, Roy. - [PC MCKIRDY] I have looked

all over for you.

(compelling music)

- [JOE] If crime is society's sickness,

then the Scottish police force are the miracle cure,

nailing villains with justice's hammer

and locking the rogues in Her Majesty's slammer.

(compelling music)

- [NEPHEW] My Uncle Jamie's still in the jail 'cause of you.

- Ah, it's all right.

He'll come here before you know it, you know?

- [JOE] This is "Scot Squad."

(compelling music)

When it comes to how Scotland perceives its police force,

not even Chief Commissioner Cameron Miekelson can keep %

of Scots happy % of the time.

- You can't have a police force peopled entirely

of officers who look like me,

however attractive that might sound.

- [JOE] The big man manfully mans up to his man-sized task.

- So the crime figures are tumbling- (sighs)

- [PROTESTERS] Hey, hey, hey, chief, chief, chief.

- Sorry, can you still hear me?

All right, this is, they're not back, are they?

Ah, here we go.

- [PROTESTERS] Hey, hey, hey.

- I'm the target

of the women's protest people,

all because of an interview I gave to the press.

You probably saw it.

Big headline, there will never be a woman chief,

not on my watch.

That's what they're saying I said.

I did say it, but completely taken out of context.

What I meant was, I'm the chief, you know?

There can't be a woman chief on my watch

because I'm already the chief, the position is taken.

Now, back in the day, you know, it'd just be a wee placard

and you could bang someone up if they just smell the grass.

But no, now they all know their rights,

which is a good thing.

Don't get me wrong, people should know their rights.

It just makes our job a lot harder.

I dunno, I mean, as Voltaire said,

"I may not agree with what you're saying,

but I will die defending your right to say it."

But I would just prefer if you said it

like miles outta town

and you don't mind getting kettled, you know?

And once I'm dead, then you can have your women's chief.

(compelling music)

- [JOE] From the M to the B,

the Scottish Police Force ensures

that Scotland's road users get from A to B

without a trip to A&E.

- Nice feet for a guy, actually.

- [JOE] And that's the MO

of PCs Hugh McKirdy and Surjit Singh.

- People try and pull all sorts of things

to try and get out of getting points on their license.

We had a couple speeding down the street,

so we pulled them over.

Wrong window, sir, the front one, please.

Thank you very much. - [DRIVER] Officer.

- Almost immediately, I noticed

that something was a little bit off.

Can you step outta the vehicle,

please? (horn honking)

- Yeah, no problem.

(engine revving)

I don't know how to turn the thing off yet.

- [PC SINGH] Okay, could you switch the engine off please?

- [DRIVER] Yep, sure.

(horn honking) (engine revving)

- Just come over to the side, thank you very much.

I start questioning him, you know,

he's a little bit wobbly, shall we say?

Yes, you feeling okay, sir?

- [DRIVER] Absolutely fine.

- You sure?

- [DRIVER] Yes.

- You seem a little bit erratic there.

- How are you?

- I'm good, I'm good.

That's when I asked my colleague PC Hugh McKirdy here

to bring out the breathalyzer.

- Just gonna ask you provide a specimen of breath.

Just hold that for me a second.

- No worries.

- No, no, that's not the breathalyzer.

- I know, you just got a bit of dust on there.

- [PC SINGH] Oh, cheers, thank you.

- Just breathe in and go as fast as you can, okay?

- [BOTH PCs] Keep blowing, keep blowing.

- Keep blowing.

Zero. - And I'll be off.

- He takes the test, comes up negative,

and something clicks in my mind.

You know, I'm a smart wee cookie now and again.

There's a sign down that road,

could you just read that for me please?

- Tiling shop.

- The other side, sir.

- That one?

- Yeah.

- Train station.

- Well, okay.

I'm just gonna have a chat with your,

is that your missus in there?

- That's my wife, yeah. - Oh, okay,

I'll just have a chat with her.

If I ask you a question,

if I ask you what that sign says

and you look down that way, I know something's up.

So, sir, I just found this in your car.

It's a white stick.

- That's yours?

- That's your missus's? - That's my wife's.

- Sir, how many fingers am I actually holding up?

- Three.

- [PC SINGH] I'm not holding up any.

- You're blind?

- Yeah.

- (indistinct) why he's obviously speeding up a wee bit then

when he was driving the motor.

Cannot read the signs.

- He wasn't driving, yeah?

- What?

- She was driving.

But his wife had been driving,

but she had nine points on her license.

Any more, that's it, her license gone.

When we pulled them over, they switched seats.

- Do me a favor, right?

See this?

This is the only reason I can get a bird like that, right?

The blue badge.

She loses her license, she loses the badge,

she loses the parking, I'll lose my bird.

- She just wants that badge?

Why is it, so she can park?

- She can park so close- - Near the shops?

- With a parking sticker like that,

she always getting up front?

- Front of the queue, mate,

front of the queue. - What?

- We did hotels in two hours.

- What?

I mean, both of them are stupid.

I mean, a blind man driving, I mean,

I never saw that one comin'.

- He wasn't driving, though.

- Oh, I keep forgetting he wasn't actually driving,

well, yeah, sorry. - They switched seats.

- I know.

- [JOE] The cops dish out the penalty points,

and what do points make?

Disqualification.

(bright music)

Meanwhile, Karen Ann Millar stands solitary at her station,

keeping watch on the prairie

and answering the call of the wild.

- As the desk sergeant, I no longer work with a partner.

I'm very much a lone wolf, a lone she wolf.

(compelling music)

- Have you got any peanut butter?

- A wolf of solitariness.

- I'm getting the smell of strawberry

once again. (spray hisses)

- And sometimes this lone wolf could stand a bit more lone.

(traffic honking)

- All right, Officer Karen.

- [SGT MILLAR] Hello Bobby, what can I do for you?

- I hope I'm not too late.

- What is it you're after?

- It's to vote,

and it says go down to the station.

- Yeah, Bobby, it's to the polling station.

This is the police station.

- Is it not the same thing

but it's the government, isn't it?

- See there where it says

you need to go up to the school, right?

And then on the card there, it'll have a number.

It'll tell you which of the booth you go into,

and then you just go in and cast your vote in there, okay?

- [BOBBY] It's in the school?

- Yeah.

- Are kids allowed to vote?

- No, you make a valid point,

and they sent them home today just to prevent that.

If you head up just now and you just go in,

and there'll be people there.

They'll show you where to go,

and you just make your vote and that's you done.

- And I vote for who I like?

- Yep, it's entirely up to you.

That's what democracy's all about.

You get to decide who's gonna be in charge.

- Number one obviously would be Wesley Snipes.

You know the guy that played?

- Yeah, I'm sure he would be very helpful

in certain very specific circumstances,

but I don't know how good he's gonna be

at getting the bins out.

- Number two, Ainsley Harriott,

the TV cook.

- I'm aware of his oeuvre, yeah.

- He seems dead happy.

He looks like a lovely person,

plus if he was running a country,

the food banks would be amazing.

- I think really, you're more supposed to go

and get your polling card

and pick from the people who are standing in your area.

- I've got the power.

- [SGT MILLAR] You have got the power, Bobby.

- This is like a golden ticket.

I've got the golden ticket,

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,"

but it's politics.

- [SGT MILLAR] Yeah.

- Keep the pain,

'cause I'm absolutely buzzing for democracy.

Am I right?

See you later, Officer Karen.

- [JOE] In today's Scotland,

very important people often mingle with normal people.

These VIPs are guaranteed

an extra special welcome from the Scot Squad.

Ray McCoy is the special ops cop

for the Elite Protection Unit.

(compelling music)

- My name's Ray, and I'll be saving your life today.

- [JOE] When Ray puts his best foot forward,

he's got your back.

- It's a pretty exciting job.

The training is almost as important

as anything we'll do outside,

'cause we've gotta be ready, we've gotta be fighting fit.

The recent training we've been doing has been about,

I could say a very important person.

I mean, when it comes to Scotland politics,

it's sort of as high as you can get.

I mean, I can't name her or him.

Eyes peeled, people.

You don't know where those threats are gonna come from,

so we train using alien masks.

(weapons firing) Ah.

Just to make it neutral,

but of course you've also got the added benefit

of we are prepared for aliens.

I mean, yes, the chance is minimal,

but minimal isn't zero, and it's part of my job

to think the unthinkable and unthink the thinkable.

And this is The Monster.

It is fully armored, bulletproof glass of course,

all tinted for privacy.

A lot of people do some,

well, whatever they wanna do in there.

Round at the boot, we've got a full set of overalls

for everyone, can be used as a disguise,

but also coupled with that disguise,

we've got a carpet.

I cannot tell you how many times I've managed

to sneak someone out of a building dressed as a workman

with them wrapped in a carpet.

It has literally worked every single time.

- [JOE] Ray has all the tech at his fingertips,

all set to protect his protectees.

(ice cream van music)

- Why are we playing ice cream van music?

Confusion.

- [JOE] And one very, very important person straddling

the cutting edge of technology is the chief.

- One of the big issues is automation going forward,

because everything's getting automated,

your banking, your cars, everything.

So will the police ultimately be automated is the question,

and the answer to that is yes, that is coming.

Robot policeman, now, problem there is it's mainly one

of perception because of course,

I'm going to be the commander of a robot army,

and that, you know, that gets a wee bit "Star Wars"-y,

you know, it's just a wee bit dystopian.

Instantly, people get worried,

so perception, what do we call it?

We call it something else.

If you take something like "RoboCop," positive image,

"Braveheart," positive image, put the two together,

you get say, RoboHeart.

Now suddenly even your eyes lit up.

I could see that you're thinking, oh yeah, that's okay.

Oh, I've been burgled, call for RoboHeart.

Round he comes, everybody's happy.

Might even have ones with blue faces,

wee bit of hair coming in.

And we can't be too far away from being able

to take all my knowledge and experience outta my brain

and download it onto a mainframe computer

and preserve it forever,

my brain and my soul, my very essence,

so that I would be commander for all eternity, yeah?

Now, is that dystopian or is that just brilliant?

(compelling music)

- [JOE] In the city, urban cops, Sarah Fletcher

and Jack McLaren make an arresting sight on the streets.

(compelling music)

- I think the police uniform does look good,

and then I make it look good.

I feel sorry for the police officers

that don't have the ability to make that uniform look good.

- [JOE] To protect all

and serve all is what they are all about.

- Irrespective of who you are, what you are,

it's our job to win hearts and minds in the community.

It doesn't matter your race, color, creed,

we're there to help, you know?

- Particularly if they're attractive looking women,

in Jack's case.

- No, especially, but obviously it doesn't matter

if you're ugly or or average looking,

I will still help you, but attractive looking women,

they pay their taxes the same as everyone else.

- [MOTHER] Thank goodness, you need to come help my boy.

My boy has fallen over and can't get up.

- Is he conscious?

- [MOTHER] Yes, he is.

- All right, okay, okay, it's okay.

- I don't know what to do.

- Calm down, please.

- It's my wee boy, but he's fallen

and he's twisted his leg and he can't get up.

- All right, okay, okay.

- I'll get the paramedics.

- Look at me, look at me.

Everything will be all right. - [MOTHER] Oh, thank goodness.

- We're here to help,

all right? - Okay.

- That's what you pay your taxes for.

Your wee boy's hurt himself?

- Yeah.

- I'll lift him up.

- Let's get the paramedics.

- No, we'll take 'em to the medical center.

It'll be much quicker. - Yeah,

you do look strong, so that's good.

- I do, deceptively strong.

I'm actually much stronger than I look.

- I'm so glad I found you, 'cause I don't know what to do

and there's nobody else.

- You know what they say about paramedics,

they're no cops, are they, eh?

It's all right, it's our job.

We arrived at the scene to find the lady's son.

- It's okay, the police are here.

The police are gonna help you.

This is my boy.

- Bigger lad, kinda an adult baby.

He was there lying in a great deal of pain.

Where is it sore on your leg?

- [JACK] There.

- Yeah, so you definitely cannot stand,

no, no, no.

- So he needs carried.

- Absolutely he needs carried.

I said I was gonna carry him to the health center,

which was not a problem.

I was still obviously willing to do that,

I just had to assess the situation.

I'll get you up, then I'll get you up on my back, okay?

- This is Jack.

- This is Jack?

- [MOTHER] He's a hero.

- Let's put that back on.

- Let's get you to the doctors then, okay?

Three, two, one.

- That's it. - Ah, ah, ah.

- Go on.

(Jack grunting) - [MOTHER] Oh, there we go.

- So we're going to go luckily up the hill, okay?

- Just one foot in front of the other.

- Come on, champ, I know, I know how to walk.

I know how to walk, Sarah.

- [MOTHER] Oh, such a relief, honestly.

I mean, he is strong, he is strong, yeah.

- You all right, Jack?

- [JACK] Aye, good.

- He's doing well, he's doing well.

- I'm pretty athletic, I like my sports and martial arts

and that you like.

Like sports and athletics yourself?

- My husband's a national rugby player, so.

- Your what?

- My husband.

- Husband?

- Ah, that's where he gets it from, you know?

- You have never mentioned his daddy a little bit.

- No, honestly, it's not a problem, honestly.

- Thank you so much, honestly I'm really happy.

- Sarah?

- No, it's fine.

- Sarah?

- Oh, sorry, I thought you were fine.

- I am fine, just worried

about the wee man being able to get the gate.

- [MOTHER] You all right there, son?

- [PC MCLAREN] I'm fine,

oh him, oh him. - [MOTHER] Aye.

- [JACK] Aye.

(birds chirping)

(gate squeaking)

(birds chirping)

- [PC FLETCHER] Yep.

- We got there in the end

and got him to the health center,

which is all that counts, really.

- [PC FLETCHER] Jack, on the other hand,

spent a little bit longer

in the health center than the wee boy did.

- Well, I sustained a lower back and a mid-back

and a sort of upper back injury.

It's an old injury through cage fighting,

which I'm quite proficient at.

I think it was absolutely worthwhile helping them.

It's made them feel safer in the community knowing

that we are there to help as kinda first aiders and heroes.

(compelling music)

- [JOE] And there's more heroics on the agenda

for Ray McCoy as he provides TLC for a visiting VIP.

- We essentially protect anyone who's important to Scotland.

There's a certain process that you go through

whenever we have these important dignitaries coming over,

so for instance, I have to vet the hotel,

the staff have to be vetted

Large window.

Then I have to go into the rooms and make sure

that there's nothing untowards there.

Of course, you've gotta strip a bed.

Stripping a bed, not hard.

Making a bed, however, and a half seconds,

boom, bed's remade, hospital corners, the lot.

You want a little chocolate on your pillow?

I'm your man.

We just had the Deputy Prime Minister

of the Netherlands over.

- Hello.

- Pleasure, Mr. Deputy Prime Minister.

It's always nice to have our cousins

from the continent over to visit us.

He wanted to ride a bike, it's a very Dutch thing to do.

That's fine, of course we'll facilitate that.

- Ah, here we go.

We got the bikes, excellent, of course, great stuff.

Okay, we're gonna go for a little bit of bike ride

because I think it's a good thing.

It reduces the carbon footprint.

Come on now, see if you can keep up with me, Roy.

- We paramount want him to be safe.

I'll ride next to him at all times on the bike.

We've also got a team behind us who will be following us.

- You see, you got a nice bike there, Roy.

I like your bike, do you not wanna swap around?

This is a better bike, I like this bike.

It's always important, you know, to take what you want,

and this is actually much smaller.

I'm gonna go for that bike again.

It's much too small.

- Right.

People have quirks,

so each time I'm protecting someone,

I'm given a package, and in that, it's got a briefing

about the things they may and may not want to do.

For instance, the Deputy Prime Minister's had,

"I would like to ride a bike."

Fine, what it didn't mention is

the man has an insatiable need for strippers.

- [RECORDED VOICE] From the people of the Netherlands

to the noble people of Scotland.

From the people of the Netherlands

to the noble people of Scotland.

From the people of the Netherlands

to the noble people of Scotland.

(indistinct)

(knocking on door)

- You all right?

- [RECORDED VOICE] People of Scotland.

- [MCCOY] You're decent?

- [RECORDED VOICE] Scotland, Scotland,

Scotland, Scotland. - Are you even in here?

He managed to trick me with a tape recording

of his voice on a Dictaphone.

Bollocks.

He then scaled out of a four-story window,

and ran off to the nearest strip club that he could find.

You better start checking at the local haunts.

Not ideal.

(upbeat music)

We tracked him down, though.

He was enjoying himself.

You.

- Hey, Roy. - [PC MCKIRDY] I have looked

all over for you.

- You have, Roy?

Drinks for Roy, drinks for Roy.

- [PC MCKIRDY] There are no drinks.

Don't get drinks for me.

- On the Netherlands government.

- [PC MCKIRDY] No, the Netherlands government is

already taxing.

(Deputy Prime Minister babbling)

(indistinct)

- No, don't take 'em.

I'm just doing electioneering.

- After a bit of a discussion, I think he came round

to understanding why his need for safety was,

I mean, I did slap him, but I think after that,

he got the idea that safety is paramount.

- [JOE] Show's over for Struvers.

The bodyguard protects his body

from the most dangerous body of them all, himself.

(compelling music) (vehicles whooshing)

Out on the roads, Singh and McKirdy battle slashed budgets,

doing much more with much less, much more better.

- Yeah, it's no secret there is

budget cuts within the police.

Back in the day, our police cars were maintained weekly,

and we're finding it a lot more difficult to try

and keep on top of the police cars.

Mind that, I've got that jam set for my mother's birthday

in there, in that glove compartment.

(glove compartment rattling)

Oh no.

- Mate, you know

the latch doesn't work. - I forgot.

- And it's stuck.

- Oh, you're kidding me on.

She loves her jams, she loves her jams.

- Well, we're gonna have to see if we can pry it open again.

- The cuts are affecting us every way possible.

It's even affecting Mama's birthday.

That was a great jam.

We're determined to keep the police car on the road,

so sometimes we need to resort to actually doing it myself,

sticking stuff together with duct tape.

- We MacGyver the car.

- Bravo one to Control for registration check.

(static crackling)

- [CONTROL] Control.

(static crackling)

- Could you stop contacting us through radio just now?

You're failing and it's

(static crackling)

winding me up, over.

Control, it's PC McKirdy here.

Look, the reason why we cannot reply is

this radio's still not working right.

- Tell 'em about the glove compartment.

- And the glove, ah, well,

it's got nothing to do with the glove compartment.

- Aye, but it's a complaint.

- And my ma's jam's in that golf compartment.

I cannot get it out, can't it?

- Like my colleague PC Hugh McKirdy here says,

we might duct tape some things together just to make sure

that it does hold together properly,

and most of the time, that works.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, watch out.

No, stop, stop.

- [PC MCKIRDY] No, no, no, no.

- The other way, the other way.

- [ARRESTEE] Come on, come on.

- [PC SINGH] Right, you take him in.

- I mean, we will resort to using various different things

to keep the car on the road.

I mean, I'm not saying we'll use our handcuffs

to hold the exhaust pipe together,

but we'll do anything in our means, anything in our power

to keep the police car safe and professional looking.

(car engine humming)

- So I'm off to a parliamentary select committee.

It's Penal Rehabilitation and Education.

It'll be me and a number of charitable foundations,

just exchanging ideas about how best to reform

and help young offenders and old offenders not re-offend.

Gee, is that?

Barbara Edwards, head of that charity,

that's not Barbara, is it?

Barbara Barbara, my Barbara.

It is?

(Chief Miekelson exhales and clicks tongue)

Right, looks like we're gonna meet my ex-wife.

(attendees chattering)

- Thank you. - Hello.

(attendees chattering)`

Barbara.

- Cameron, well, nice to see you.

- Mm, oh, yes.

- Come on, come on.

- Good, how are you?

- I'm good, and you?

You look well. - Yes.

- [BARBARA] Been dieting?

It's worked.

- Yes, well, you know.

- Yeah, you've lost.

- Back in the game, Barbara, back in the game.

- Well. - And how are you,

and how is everything, how's my house,

the house, your house?

- My house is, it's changed,

actually, yeah. - Has it?

So you're doing okay financially, you're fine?

- [BARBARA] Fine.

- You're absolutely fine. - Finally.

- You've not got too much?

- Oh.

- Too much money from me, no?

(indistinct)

Look- - I am not going to allow you

to wind me up. - I have not.

- So I- - I didn't start this,

I didn't start this.

I want this to end.

Somebody else wants it instead.

- [CHAIRPERSON] Ladies and gentlemen, please.

- Okay, yes.

- [CHAIRPERSON] Thank you.

- I'm going to my seat now.

See you there. - Right.

Yes, I'll see you later,

as long as we're not sitting together.

(compelling music)

- [CHAIRPERSON] Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

ladies and gentlemen.

(compelling music)

- [JOE] The term grass isn't just applied to a drug's bust.

Snitches provide vital info to DCs Squire and McGill,

cliping on criminals and dobbing in the dodgy.

- Informants are a massive part of what we do.

Without informants, we couldn't have cracked some

of the biggest cases in Scotland's history.

We recently received information

that an establishment was being used to store

and distribute illicit material.

- This is, see, this is typical, we get a tip off,

and look where we're at, a flipping funeral directors.

We went in and the place looked, you know, legitimate

with headstones and coffins and it all looked very nice.

- [DC MCGILL] Yeah.

- And then in walked this lovely young boy.

DC Squire.

- DC McGill.

- [BARRY] Hello.

- And you are?

- I'm Barry Greenhorn.

- Barry Greenhorn?

- Yep, that's me.

- Are you related to Billy Greenhorn at all?

- Yep, that that's my uncle.

- [DC SQUIRE] Oh, your uncle.

- Uncle Billy.

- Bingo, right away, wee light bulb's going off in my head.

They're a very, very dodgy family, they're into everything,

so we've played a wee bit

of cat and mouse with 'em and stuff.

Didn't know that your uncle was involved in funeral parlors.

- Oh no, no, we've just branched into it.

This is a newer business.

- New venture? - All right, okay.

I hope you don't mind me saying,

you're quite young to be involved in this.

- [BARRY] Yep.

- [DC SQUIRE] How old are you, Barry?

- I'm .

- [DC SQUIRE] ?

- And how long have you been working

in the funeral industry?

- Just a couple of weeks, you know?

- You seem pretty set up for a couple of weeks,

like it seems pretty,

you know, organized. - Well, it's because

we care about burying people, and that's what we do.

- And Barry, can I ask you, are you solely in charge here

or is there, do you have a superior, a manager or?

- Well, I'm in charge when I'm here.

I can't speak for what goes on when I'm not here.

- [DC MCGILL] Oh? - Because

I'm not here to see it.

- You don't expect a -year-old

to be the front of a funeral home.

I mean, you'd expect to see them

in a burger joint. - Very good try, though.

I was drawn to these coffins over here.

- Oh yeah, lovely coffins.

- Now, what's that made out of?

- [DC MCGILL] Yeah.

- Ah, that's made from wood.

- Wood? - Uh-huh.

- [DC MCGILL] You know what kinda wood?

- [BARRY] Yeah, tree.

- Do you know what kind of tree?

- Christmas tree.

- Christmas tree? - [BARRY] Yes.

I didn't know you could get coffins made-

- Just dumped in the back lane 'cause no coffins

at the moment? - Well, no, 'cause yeah,

'cause we come down the back

and we pick up all the unused Christmas trees,

make a wee coffin.

- There you go,

like recycled coffins. - That's it?

- Saving the planet a dead person at a time.

- But this one over here, I'm drawn to this one over here.

- I like this one.

- [DC SQUIRE] So how'd you get this one open then?

- Ah, I wouldn't know

'cause I don't open coffins, I just close them.

- I think it's just give it a wee shift.

Aye, my girl, come on.

- I wouldn't, I think it's broken or

- [BOTH DCS] Oh.

(indistinct)

- Once we opened the coffin,

we discovered a whole coffin full of thousands

and thousands of knocked off cigarettes, so bullseye.

- They can't all be for you.

- They are, I'm a big smoker.

- Barry, I'm gonna put it to you

that this might be a wee front.

What do you think?

I think it's definitely. - It's not a front.

- Are you fronting the shop for your uncle?

- No, no.

- In some ways, actually it's quite clever

because who's gonna think that, you know,

cigarettes and drugs are going about in here?

Something you just wouldn't.

- Even though Barry was , it's still a crime.

We still have to take him in.

He's a young boy, but we've gotta do a job,

and we did let him phone his mom.

- Okay, watch your napper.

- At the end of the shift, there's a great satisfaction.

I think you just feel a wee bit that, you know,

the streets are a wee bit cleaner,

the city's, you know, a safer place,

and all in all, I think it makes the world

a better place that we've done my job.

- And you're one step closer in that police pension.

(compelling music)

- [JOE] Back at the select committee on rehabilitation,

inter-agency tension is running high.

- To kick us off, I wonder if I could ask you a little bit

about the importance of giving someone a second chance.

- Mm, depends on the crime.

- We all make mistakes, and for all of us sitting

in our ivory towers in our uniforms,

it's very difficult sometimes to come down

out of that tower and understand why.

Boredom, being neglected, being understimulated,

and being taken for granted.

- It's the snowflake generation once again, here we go.

It's just, "Oh, no one took me on holiday."

Just because the criminal's husband,

just because he's away for the week weekend doesn't mean

that the criminal should commit the crime while he's gone

on a fact-finding trip to Bournemouth.

- [JOE] Facts established,

both parties seek out common ground.

- I think it's absolutely necessary

for the sake of all involved that we work together.

- We can get back there, it's hard.

- Can be.

- But sometimes- - Sometimes, sometimes.

- Sometimes it has to be hard.

- And sometimes it's gonna get harder

before it gets better. - Well,

that's what I'm saying, if you work together,

that's when you can get it hardest of all

- [JOE] Rehabilitation becomes possible

as official bodies move closer together.

- I believe that if we're easing the offender back

into society, maybe there could be occasional,

like a weekend. - Provisional period.

- Maybe they get together,

you know, weekends. - Good idea.

- It's important to have the offender passionate

about that rehabilitation, is it?

- Oh yeah, I think you take that passion

and we have to now, you know, handle it, if you like.

You know, we have to shape it and deal with it.

- Together.

- Together.

- Two-handed approach.

- Mm-hmm.

- And they may even be better at,

who knows?

- 'Cause some of them excel.

- Who knows? (chuckles)

- It might be better.

There's only one way of finding out.

Some of these boys have learned stuff inside

that's made them even better.

- Mm-hmm.

- [JOE] With new positions agreed.

- Thank you very much for this session.

(slapping table)

- [JOE] All parties come to a satisfying conclusion.

- More than it is a question of,

(attendees chattering)

a question of,

sorry, could you excuse me just a moment?

But yes, I think you're, I think you're right, it's hard.

(attendees chattering)

It's very, it's very hard.

(attendees chattering)

Ha, hey, that was a select committee,

exhausting though, tell you, but worth it, excellent.

Spring in my step, got the juices flowing.

(compelling music)

(compelling music continues)