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02x11 - Episode 11

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Portland Bill". Aired: 4 October 1983 – 25 June 1986.*
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Set in a fictional lighthouse on the Guillemot Rock, just off the coast from the fictional village of McGuillycuddy.

02x11 - Episode 11

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

this is my lighthouse on the guillemot

rock

now my lads like to keep everything

and span but sometimes they need a

bit of encouragement

oh polish polish polish i'm bored

keep magic chromatin we'll soon be

finished

uh

well i'm a millionaire i'll never have

to polish anything i'll go fishing every

day

unless you find some bozo's treasure

you'll never be a millionaire so keep

polishing

ross

so i decided to do something to relieve

their boredom

my my

what is this that i see floating in the

sea

it looks like a message in a bottle

i wonder if it could be saint bozo's

long lost

treasure map

he will be rich

gosh

let's do barnacles it says this map will

lead you to a shiny surprise

can we go and look for it now

well all right but it's a long journey

you need some supplies

and that's how ross and comedy

set off on the search for saint bozo's

shiny surprise

are you sure you don't want to take a

turn the rowing comedy um oh

no ross uh carry on

i'll read the map

i will not be

it feels like we've been going around in

circles

oh i'm sure some bozo didn't have this

trouble now let me just check the map

now if i'm correct we're nearly there oh

it's the cave

blessing bowser hides his shiny treasure

now don't get excited

keep calm

and follow me

um

after you ross uh

it looks a bit spooky

spooky

who

what was that

what was that

it's an echo

listen

hello

hello

i see

always say

as they swear the shiny surprises

come in and see

let's do as it says

oh

it's very cold in here i don't like it

at all crumb oh don't worry ross i'm

right here behind you go on

what's that who luke on

[Music]

that was painted ages ago whoever

painted that will be a long gone

but chromatin stop being such a

ross it's only a cave

just try to be calm like me

it's only a sign comedy what does it say

upstairs for the shiny surprise

[Music]

come on ross we must be very near to the

treasure now

[Music]

oh no

we're back in the lighthouse

hey look

all the polishing has been done

i knew you were bored so i sent you

looking for some bozo's treasure while i

finish the polishing

so that's the shiny surprise

ah

there's no treasure after all

i knew it all along oh no you didn't oh

yes i did oh

no you didn't

[Music]

what's happening at the latest

they're singing a song

when the wind blows in of the salty sea

come dance a jig to a sea shanty it

feels so right it feels so pretty to be

a lighthouse keeper

yo h* h* see the big ships go across the

rolling street

sunshine or wind or rain or fog write it

down in a daily log with a cup of tea

it's warm and snug to be a lighthouse

keeper

yo h* h* see the big ships go across the

rolling sea

[Music]

ross what did dugger say when he sat on

the sand paper and i give up ruff ruff

ruff ruff

see the big ships go across the rolling

sea

and way up here where the lamp burns

bright on top of the world by day you're

a night with a telescope you feel just

right when you're a lighthouse keeper

i can't wait to tell you my next story

this is the lighthouse on the guillemot

rock

you never believe it if i told you that

my lighthouse right in the middle of the

scene became a sheep pen just for a day

well it did

it all started in the village of mcgilly

cuddy which as you know is a gentle

little place where man and beast live in

peaceful harmony

peaceful that is until finished there's

sheep got loose

fruits leave my vegetables alone

now let's see

here's elvis

ringo

stellar

boris

ethel

where are flotsam and jetsam

if any of the sheep are missing you can

bet it's always old flotsam and jetsam

and wherever they are they'll be up to

some sort of mischief

we better go after them right away

so off we went

looking behind walls

[Music]

oh i do beg your

i'm pardon i'm never coming into the

country again oh anything you say dear

on the hedges

everywhere

[Music]

hmm oh gotcha oh i had to beg your

pardon mrs london flotsam and jetson

time to go home

nice shape here are

well they're girls here though i can't

think where they might have got to

let's have jetsam come on the daddy

wearing your naughty shape

hello gail have any of my sheep pass

this way this morning

oh yes i've seen two of them

half an hour ago

they flattened our herb patch

and then ran off towards the village

come on

i'll show you so we followed gail until

we met miss shannon the potter your

sheep have just jumped over my gate

broken two of my new pots and knocked

over a tin of paint

i'll help you look for those rascals

before they do any more damage come on

they've left a trail of wet paint

so off we all went

[Music]

when we arrived at the village

we found the outside of eddie's shop in

a shambles and the rest of the village

all looking out to sea and laughing

well when i looked through my telescope

i couldn't believe my eyes

bless my soul

there was flotsam and jetson in the

lamphouse with ross and chromaty

trying to push them out onto the gallery

[Music]

you'd never believe it bill they stood

away in my boat and when i delivered to

the lighthouse they jumped off and

scampered up the steps well that's how

my lighthouse became the safest sheep

pen in mcgillicuddy

just for a day

[Music]

now let's see old flotsam and jets and

try to get out of that

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]