Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

02x10 - Episode 10

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Portland Bill". Aired: 4 October 1983 – 25 June 1986.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Set in a fictional lighthouse on the Guillemot Rock, just off the coast from the fictional village of McGuillycuddy.

02x10 - Episode 10

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

this is my lighthouse on the guillemot

rock

have you ever had one of those days when

you just know something was going to

happen now chromicy

are you absolutely sure you want to do

it today absolutely bill the weather's

perfect

oh good well in that case i can tidy up

outside

as for me i'll definitely take my so

western come on dogger oh wow

come on dogger let's go and see it

[Music]

morning eddie i'd like to buy some

biscuits please oh certainly bill

uh now would you like the choppy ones

for all the nutty ones

whoa

all right then we'll have some of each

please oh and i'd better buy an umbrella

as well

we're in for some rain today

rain

rain we've had no rain for weeks and

it's a lovely sunny day

why do you think it will rain today

just you wait and see

[Music]

hello bill why are you dressed up like

that on such a lovely day you do look

funny

well i love the last laugh because i

know that it's going to rain any minute

now

nonsense it won't rain we crafters know

all about the weather while we have lots

of scenes which help us to forecast the

weather

light red sky at night shepherd's

delight

when flowers bloom and swallows fly the

afternoon will be warm and dry when

sheep sit down

and tell stand up if you think it'll

rain get out the look

well i'm not so sure about all that all

i know is it's certainly gonna rain come

on follow me everyone and i'll prove it

to you

[Music]

[Music]

lovely sunny day

don't you know the old sailor's saying

when the sea is cold and the wind's the

same there's just no chance that it will

rain

here fastnet take a look through my

telescope tell me what you see well now

there's the lighthouse and there's

comedy

he's pegging out the washington

[Music]

[Music]

comedy pegs out the washington drawing

it pours with rain that's right bill

oh oh good gracious me oh

dinner tell me oh i

hey

[Music]

is

we like those keepers have an old

weather set

the wind and rain will stay away

till grummandy decides it's washing day

i say

please let me in but i'm getting wet

[Music]

there's always something happening on

the guillemot rock

[Music]

we're polishing and cleaning everything

we can till all the brass is gleaming

and the roots are and span

scrub dust polish and rub with cleaning

cloth and water tub splish splush

mopping the floor with puddles and

bubbles all over the floor

chromatin how do octopus cobbles travel

oh i don't know um

[Music]

do

[Music]

with cleaning cloth and water tub splish

splush mopping the floor with puddles

and bubbles all over the floor

we've polished and we've cleaned up

everything we can now all the brass is

gleaming and the room the spit and spam

all

room to spit and spam

tell us another story bill

[Music]

this is my lighthouse on the guillemot

run

and here's dogger taking a nap in the

paint room as usual

[Laughter]

he wouldn't win many prizes at croft but

he's a good dog

mind you

when it comes to bath time he doesn't

want to know

uh

life belt

first aid kit

rockets ah

here's the bath

and the dandy doggy shampoo

careful

those rockets are dangerous

are they for guy fawkes knight

no no

they're distress rockets

they're fired when someone's in trouble

at sea they make so much noise that they

attract attention

and the flares are a guide for the

rescue boat let's hope we never need

them

but rockets knew duggar will be in

trouble if he's hiding again

dogger

it's bath time

anyone would think he was frightened of

water

well i'm gonna catch a nice big silver

fish for our tea you two carry on with

your duties hi sir okay hey

so that's where you pinnoyed in your own

rascal

it's bath time for you as soon as we get

home

now tiger

let's see if we can catch a big fish for

tea

clustering particles that was a close

one

no i was wearing my life jacket so i was

safe but without those oars i couldn't

go anywhere

and it was beginning to get dark

well we can't stay here all night that's

for sure

pants here swim tugger

all right then

go

might have been bath shy but he

certainly wasn't frightened of water

and off he swam to get help

i've got to finish this weather forecast

for the metal fish

[Music]

where have you been

avoiding bath timer

he's all wet

blistering barnacles it's bill

he's lost his arms

let's set off the distress rockets and

alert the rescue boat

[Music]

distress rockets someone's in trouble at

sea

i'd better take the kipper and see if i

can be of any service

you need some help i'm coming too

there is

on the starboard bar it's portland build

he's adrift

am i glad to see you too

edward stone's emporium at your service

catch this bill

and that's how thanks to doggers bravery

i was rescued and not a minute too soon

i can tell you

thank you for answering the distress

call so quickly eddie oh don't thank me

bill

dogger is the real hero of the rescue

i know

he's a fine swimmer and i've got a

special reward for him here

wow

big dipper no it's your bath time you're

not a little tricky

[Music]

come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]