01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]

this is my lighthouse on the guillermo

rock

i was in the living room with my lads

ross in his red hat

and chromaby

you know i says it's a lovely sunny day

i think it's time we did a spot of

cleaning let's whitewash the outside of

the lighthouse and comedy agreed

good idea bill but first i'll just clean

up these jump tarts

all right then i said

i'll just pop up to the service room and

see what the weather has in store for us

we'll be about ten minutes

now patience ain't one of comedy's

virtues and he thought that ten minutes

was far too long to wait so he and ross

decided to surprise me by starting the

white washing right away

come on ross

all right

look we'll soon have this dog said

chromatin

you know

i always had a talent for that

chromatid the creator they used to call

me

i could have been a famous painter the

leonardo da vinci of dunbar

look out roy ross but he was too light

comedy had tripped over the bucket of

whitewash

jumping jellyfish i've heard of throwing

yourself into your work that's

ridiculous

comedy couldn't see the funny side of it

at all

he'd splash paint on the door and he

knew he'd be in trouble if i saw the

mess he made

but ross had a plan

don't worry

you clean up the white wash and i'll

keep bill inside

bye

the weather's a bit changeable out there

i'd rather warm if i were you

well

are you that was nonsense it's a lovely

sunny day i said well why don't you stay

in here while i check on the weather

with the met office and he got to the

service room he quickly tore up some

waste paper then he pretended to radio

the met office hello is that the

meteorological office

sudden snowstorms eh and he scattered

the small pieces of paper out the window

i was checking me log when i saw what

appeared to be snowflakes drift past the

window

told you bill that the weather was gonna

change cried ross you better not go

outside while it's snowing just no way

well i had to laugh

by now ross thought he'd best go and see

how comedy was getting on

watch

i've cleaned it all up and i've decided

to give the door a lick of paint

shall i paint it blue

no no no better leave it red bill's sure

to notice the change replied boss he

raced back upstairs to make sure i was

still busy

i wouldn't go out in this blizzard

panted ross

as he ran upstairs to see what the

weather had in store for us next my

guess would have been a hurricane

but i was wrong

oh dear bill

now it's starting to rain

oh that's odd

i just decided to listen to the radio

when comedy strolled in covered in paint

and called upstairs oh ross you can tell

the met office that the rain can stop uh

now

by the weevil i managed to whitewash the

porch for you have your boy jove i said

try to sound surprised you must have had

better weather on your side of the

lighthouse

[Music]

comedy was very proud of his handiwork

and rightly too it was a fine job but i

couldn't let those two get away with it

i've known what you two have been up to

all along

seemed like the only way to get the job

done quickly was to go along with your

plan

changeable weather indeed

tell you what i'd like the door painted

blue just for a change

come on dogger i'll take you for a walk

[Music]

i'm rowing to the mainland it's a lovely

sunny day

and as i roll i like to sing it helps me

on my way

i'll do a spot of fishing

to see what i can catch

a message in a bottle

or a tasty silverfish

roll my boat

sing my song

i'm going to the mainland i'll get there

before long

who writes the most letters

i don't know

fishermen they're always dropping lines

[Music]

roll my boat

sing my song

i'm rowing to the mainland i'll get

there before long

how about another story

this here is the village of mcgillicuddy

and this is our only shop

it caters for all our needs

everything from tomatoes

to tricycles

ah there's my friend eddie stone the

shopkeeper he's also the electrician

postman miltman policeman and our mayor

i just arrived to do some shopping for

the latest

morning bill uh what'll it be today oh

just the usual bread and jam chocolate

biscuits and

well i didn't bother going on

i could see that eddie had something

else on his mind

what's up eddie

oh

tourist

tourists that's what's up

they're all coming to see some bozo's

bell and as mayor of mcgilly cuddy i've

got to make a speech

look

i'm going to make these special

bootcakes for their day interrupted

grandma tyree

i was just about to say how nice when

eddie started raving blistering

barnacles they've arrived already and i

haven't rehearsed my speech yet

now don't you panic eddie let me meet

them while you get ready and there i was

with a pack of wild taurus

euler i'm portland bill welcome to

mcgilly cuddy i pointed out the

attractions my lighthouse

the rock where sun bozo's raft ran

aground then sank then grandma tyree

popped her around the door

hello everybody would you like to see

the bell now

so i led them inside

[Music]

now everybody i'm proud to present our

mayor edward stone whose shop you is now

stood in oh

without further ado

i will now

unveil the bell of some bozo but blow me

down if he did knock the bell off the

counter and slap bang onto his

foot he started leaping up and down like

a dolphin on a trampoline well i needed

help so quick as a flash i says please

join me in a generous round of applause

for this impressive display of

mcgillicuddy's folk dancing and you know

i think they believe me oh oh

oh oh thank you everybody how kind

and now

if you'd like to come with me i'll take

you on a trip round the

lighthouse after that i was good and

ready for a quiet cup of tea

suddenly grandma tyree appeared

she had burnt the old cakes oh

what else could i do i threw them in the

trough they were off

who knew sorry grandma terry no the

daughters will have nothing to eat well

we couldn't have that but i had the

solution for her don't you worry i says

they can have the bread jam and biscuits

i was taken back to the lighthouse now

you put the kettle on i'll seat the

visitors

ah

welcome back uh now i'd like to show you

some of the traditional fishing floats

that's made here in the village and i

showed them the burnt oak cakes floating

about in the water trough um we toy them

onto our nets when we fish for shoals of

silver herring

are they for sale i asked the taurus so

i says oh no i'm afraid nah

but you may each take one as a souvenir

of your visit to mcgillicuddy

and now

let's go in for tea

[Music]

during tea eddie thanked me for helping

out

oh you've saved the day for us bill

it all went very well

um

would you like to be our official

tourist guy

no thanks i said

i've got enough to worry about telling

ross and comedy that the tourists have

eaten all their bread jam and biscuits

ross is a growing lad and he ain't gonna

like that

oh sorry

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland built

[Music]