01x07 - The Cursed Cabinet of Professor Madds Markson!

[bunniefuu]

Hurry up. We gotta
finish setting all these

charges and be out
of here in ten minutes.

What's the rush? This place ain't
getting demolished until the morning.

Ain't I supposed to set the
timers for 12 hours from now?

Yeah, that's right. This whole
shebang is coming down at sunrise.

But apparently, there's
some kind of party or seance

or something in the old
place on its last night.

I'm just gonna check the leads.

Ah, all right. You got
it. You are the boss.

Boss?

Get out!

Get out!

-No! -Get out.

Get out!

♪ Scooby-Dooby-Doo
and Guess Who?

♪ We know you're
one in a million

♪ Scooby-Doo

♪ We can count
on you, Scooby-Doo

♪ To catch and
unmask that villain ♪

Hold the phone.
It's Penn & Teller.

Las Vegas, the city
that never sleeps.

That's New York,
Freddy. The Big Apple.

We love apples.

Mmm, juicy and sweet.

It sure doesn't look like Las
Vegas needs much sleep either.

Which is really good 'cause me
and Scoob are staying up all night.

All-you-can-eat buffets.

You know it, buddy. We've
mapped out every single one.

Well, here we are.

The infamous Savanna Hotel.

The most haunted
hotel in Las Vegas.

Like, I'm pretty sure the
only buffet they got here

is "All you can scream."

Ghost... Horrible
ghost... Terrible.

Ghost... Did he say "ghost"?

Like, man, why do we always
end up in haunted places

every single time?

Just lucky, I guess.

Besides, we have to stay. We
already accepted the invitation.

If we can spend
the night in this hotel,

we'll get a million dollars.

I wouldn't spend one night in
that place for a hundred million.

Don't worry. Debunking
hauntings and mysteries is our thing.

Us, too. We love
debunking a good mystery.

Hold the phone. It's...

world-renowned magicians
and entertainers, Penn & Teller!

Jinkies! What a great
honor to meet you guys.

Penn & Teller, you know,

I'm something of an
amateur magician myself.

-Can I show you a trick?
-Mmm, no!

Great, pick a card, any card.

Eh, don't worry.
I'll pick it for you.

Abracadabra. Alakazam.

Kazum-barumba!

Is this your card?

It's the one stuck
to your wrist.

You just palmed it wrong.

Huh?

Sorry, Teller,
turning the mustache

on an angry amateur
magician-slash-demolition boss

into a butterfly?
Seen it a million times.

-What did you do? -Relax.

Teller didn't vanish
your mustache.

It's flesh-colored paint.

I hope the ghost of Madds
Markson destroys you all.

Especially you, Penn & Teller,

for exposing how
magicians do their tricks.

You and your
crimes against magic.

The only crime against magic
around here, buddy, is that mustache.

Boy, the old Savanna Hotel.

This is the place that
made me wanna play Vegas.

It's got such history,
such panache.

Such dust.

- Shh, quiet,
everybody. It's our host,

reclusive billionaire
Hugo Howser.

Welcome to the
gracious Savanna Hotel

for her last night on Earth.

Would the contestants
please join me in the ballroom?

Time to play!

Well, looks like
we're in for the night.

Whether we like it or not.

Like, I, for one,
do not, like, like it.

Me neither.

I am happy you have decided
to join me for tonight's frivolity.

This hotel has been my home.

In fact, I'm living in the
penthouse above your heads.

Tomorrow at dawn,
this old beauty

will be destroyed in
the name of progress.

She deserves one last
thrill before she goes.

And you are that thrill!

This hotel is
haunted by the ghost

of an evil magician that
played here 60 years ago.

Professor Markson
was a mad scientist

that incorporated real,
dangerous science in his act.

If you can survive one
night in these haunted halls,

I will give you $1 million

for giving the hotel
one last night of fun.

Ghosts aren't real.

Couldn't agree
more, Mr. Jillette.

Yeah, we've seen
it a thousand times.

It's always some
kind of illusion,

or a guy in a rubber mask.

Too bad, really.

I love a good scare.
I love getting fooled.

I love that feeling.

The feeling you get when you're

telling ghost stories
around the campfire,

or screaming your guts
out at a scary movie.

Nothing fills us with the
joy of life like a little fear.

Feels good to scream.
Makes you feel alive.

Makes you feel wonderful.

But, I'm always disappointed.

It's never real,
or very exciting.

Makes me sad.

That's just weird.

Huh?

It tickles. Nothing in my brain.

Like, whoa, I want
my brain cleaned, too.

Me next! Me next!

Oh...

Just like, when
things were getting fun.

Out! Get out!

Yikes!

He's gone.

Ooh.

Oh.

Ooh.

Funny. Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh, lunch.

Ooh, do it again. Do it again.

Maybe I got a pizza in my leg.

Or lasagna in my tail.

Sorry, buddy. Boring.

Sandwich from a guy's
elbow? Seen it a million times.

Over here.

The Madds Markson theater.

Sounds like a perfect
place to investigate,

and perhaps confront the ghost
of Professor Madds Markson.

Like, man, I don't understand
the concept of confronting...

Anything.

Not now, buddy.

We're in the middle
of a mystery here.

Gonna eat that?

Whoa!

Looks like the
stage is still set

for Professor Markson's show.

And it looks like the
show's about to start.

Look, it's the ghost
of Professor Markson.

Huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's doing his
famous cabinet transformation trick.

Wait for it, Scooby-Doo.

This is where it gets
really interesting.

That was always a shtick.

A Dr. Jekyll-and-horrible
monster trick.

Okay.

Like, I think I liked this better when
it was a whole lot less interactive.

Run!

Shaggy!

Yoo-hoo, maid service.

Hmm?

Turn your bed down, sir?

Ooh!

You look so tired.
Let me tuck you in.

No, no, lie down here nice
and tight so you can't move.

Yeah, can't move.

We should run.

Or we can unravel
this and reveal the trick.

-The walk-in freezer. -Perfect!

My glasses! My glasses!

I can't see without my glasses.

-Got him! -It worked!

Huh?

He's good.

Someone's there.

It's Teller.

Don't worry. I speak mime.

He's saying that he was being
chased by that horrible monster

and hid in this cupboard.

Well, we had the monster,
but he, uh, got away.

It's that kooky hermit dude.

I see you are not faring too
well with the Professor's ghost,

or his monster.

If you want to leave, all you
have to do is say the word,

and I'll open the
doors and windows.

A million dollars
isn't worth your life.

He's hiding something.

Listen, you rich freak.

We are gonna figure this out.

We're in it to win it.

A ghost...

What?
-...dollars... Say the word...

I think it's time we paid a little
visit to our reclusive billionaire.

You said it, Penn.
To the penthouse!

You must help me.

The monster is here!

Come on, g*ng. Hurry!

Help me! Help me!

Comin' through.

Like, they're gone.

No monster, nobody, nothing.

Ooh. Hmm?

Oh... Hmm...

Look at this fingernail
left behind by Mr. Howser.

- It doesn't look right.
- That's because it's fake.

That's not a real nail.
That's an acrylic nail.

Hmm. This mystery is really
starting to come together.

Whoa.

Really, Teller? The
magic fishbowl trick

played on the top of a blonde
guy's head who's wearing an ascot?

Seen it a million times.

I think Houdini himself
did it over 100 years ago.

Sorry, buddy.

Hmm...

By using Professor
Markson's cabinet as bait,

I'm confident we'll
capture him this time.

Let's do this.

Like, we're ready, Mr. Jillette.

Who gets to be the assistant?

Ooh, pick me, pick
me, pick me, pick me.

Sorry, guys, but
Daphne's perfect.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

-Always a bridesmaid.
-Never a bride.

All right, Professor Markson,
we are onto your tricks.

This is Penn & Teller.

Let's show everyone
how the magic is done.

It's a simple cabinet switch...

I'm a monster.

I'm a monster!

With a secret
compartment in the back.

We did it! One of my snare
traps must have caught the ghost.

Now let's see who the ghost of
Professor Madds Markson really is.

It's... It's... Huh?

Yeah, I... I don't
know who this is.

My name is Tess. Tess Flemmings.

Tess Flemmings?

Thanks, Mr. Jillette.

Tess who?

I'm a Las Vegas history buff.

I sneaked into the hotel to get
some last footage of the place

before its controlled
demolition.

And thanks to you meddling kids
and magic legends, Penn & Teller,

I've got some great footage.

But that doesn't make any sense.

Why were you masquerading
as Professor Madds Markson?

-Who? -The ghost.

I don't know what that is.

Oh, you mean that crazy monster?

I thought it was all part of some
TV special Penn & Teller were doing.

-The ghost!
-No need to yell, Scooby.

She heard you the first time.

No, the ghost!

Get out!

Get out!

Come on, g*ng. It's not
too late to grab this ghost.

Get out!

We gotta get him
back on the stage.

Teller?

What did you do with
my little buddy Teller?

Not so fast, Professor Monster.

Hey!

Uh, g*ng?

Oh, no. You triggered
the controlled demolition.

This whole place is coming
down in less than a minute!

Run!

Over here, guys!

Come on. We can use the spare
catapult portion of the trap to escape.

Fred, why do you always have a spare
catapult portion in every single trap?

I... Could you
rephrase that question?

Yeah, good idea! Come on,
everybody, we gotta go right now!

No! Teller's still
in there. Teller!

You can't go back
there, Mr. Jillette.

-It's too dangerous. -Teller!

Pull the trigger,
Freddy. We gotta go!

That's amazing.

Teller! Teller!

Don't worry, Mr. Jillette.

Wait till you see who the
Madds Markson monster really is.

Teller?

Huh? Uh, that's just crazy.

You were the horrible
Markson monster?

You were the ghostly specter
of Professor Madds Markson?

You were eccentric billionaire
recluse Hugo Howser?

You pulled the birthday
cake out of my belly button?

Mr. Teller did all of it.

He played all the parts.

He pre-recordedall of
the phone conversations

using a
computer-generated voice.

He rigged tracks all
over the hotel ceilings

to hand his ghost and monster,

and operated them
via remote control.

With the hotel
rigged for demolition,

the tracks were easily hidden.

He created cardboard
cutouts on train tracks

to simulate the action
of the reclusive billionaire

and the monster in shadow play.

That train track gave
me an ouchie. Hmm!

Teller recreated the famous
cabinet trick from careful research,

then, faked the
attack upon himself

so he could put on the mantle
of the monster for the final fun.

Teller did it all,
all by himself.

Really impressive, Mr. Teller.

But why? Why did you do it?

Because I wanted to pull off a magic
trick big enough to impress Penn.

Huh? Did you know he could talk?

You remember how Penn
says he loves a good scare,

how he loves getting
fooled but it's never real,

or very exciting?

Well, I wanted to make it
real and exciting for him.

Just this once.

And I would have
gotten away with it, too,

if it weren't for
you meddling kids,

and Penn being so hard to fool.

Sorry, buddy, but come on,

a guy pretending to be
a reclusive billionaire,

a crazy ghost of an old
magician, a horrible monster,

all set to the backdrop
of a controlled demolition

of an entire building
imploding and collapsing?

Huh, seen it a million times.

I'm just kidding!

That was crazy amazing!

I want you to know, this is the best
present anyone's ever gotten me.

I was so scared!

And I loved it.

Great job, little buddy.
Come here, you knucklehead.

- All of you! - Hmm...

He's giving us
the million dollars!

Oh, boy!

Technically, Mr. Teller, you were
the last person to leave the building.

So, this million
dollars is yours.

I love the whole Boy
Scout honesty thing,

but sometimes, Freddy,

sometimes you
might ask the rest of us

before you give
away a million dollars.

Yeah.

Oh, that's amazing!

How do you guys...
Magic-Dooby-Doo...

I love those guys.