01x05 - A Bird in the Hand

[bunniefuu]

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crackers in my soup

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[Applause]

make sure you do it regularly and keep a

record of it

i've been staked out for two days before

i got a payoff

and it was a big one lucy the burn

and two boys from frisco you checked out

the new arrival at the reptile house

the rattlesnake no i haven't seen it you

should this is a rattlesnake with a

difference

okay let's go well how different can a

rattlesnake get

you'll see

say cheese what do you think you're

doing brave and investigating

since when last night i saw this ace

movie

i'm taking photos of crooks we're not

crooks

you do getting closer

her name is julie davis she's some sort

of vet here

had a soft spot for me for years any

better if she still does we're gonna

pull up this job

don't worry it's gonna work simply a

matter of friends in the right places

yeah we'll see i'll have a scat around

while you use your fatal charm on the

sweetheart

but don't worry should be a pushover are

you sh**ting too high down a bit

up a bit

now tim enough is enough there's work to

be done oh please

cheese cheese cheese cheese the shuttle

clincher

doll you and your boys are as good as in

the slammer

hey elaine's got a new ratlock we know

i'm going to take a picture i hope i can

hold a pose

how come he's all white he's an elvenar

they're pretty rare he just said he was

a rattlesnake

an albino rattler it's the lack of skin

pigment that makes him white

i know that julie what there's a man

outside to see you well who oh i don't

know but he's divine

we've got a new rhetoric tell mr divine

i'll be there in a minute

i can't keep him waiting he might lose

him

wouldn't want to risk that would you

let's go

oh wait till you see him

this could be the start of something

marriage if my sister the matchmaker has

anything to say about it

is he poisonous you bet

[Applause]

what are you doing here i've come to

take you away from all of this

well you've certainly taken your time i

haven't seen you for three years i know

it must be in hell for you but i'm here

now

what for lunch you look delicious

let me look at you what is this darling

i have

trudged this hole searching for you

undoubtedly you're the most beautiful

animal in the place

let's go feeding time barry please

people are looking

what a zoo's for

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divine

look barry i'm sorry but you'll have to

go without me but i've come especially

to see

you you can't possibly abandon me now

julie oh julie oh no

i say mr spencer can i help you i've had

a splendid idea for cost reduction it'll

save me up save the zoo

a considerable amount of money oh that

should please mr bennett ah but

but chance he finds it too revolutionary

i should like your support

just what is the idea mr spencer a 10

food intake reduction i've calculated

the savings over a year

amounts to that food intake reduction a

diet

for animals i don't like your chances mr

spencer yes well we'll see about that

good afternoon mr keating barry keating

mr thomas spencer how do you do kitty

have i said your name in the papers oh

it's likely

of course the western district keatings

delighted

enlighted as major benefit with the zoo

i

i bid you welcome thank you please do

call on me before you leave

well i'm sure we can arrange an honorary

membership of fox

thoughts friends of the zoo oh i see

so important to have the right people i

do hope our julie is extending every

hospitality

well i had hope to lunch with her but

she insists she'd rather work

what nonsense you deserve a break by

death

why not take mr keating to the bistro a

bite to eat

a guided tour i'm sure no one will miss

you

that would be wonderful oh well good

afternoon

i shall now put forward my plan to mr

bennett

our things to do things to do

how about that hospitality

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then after europe i lived in new york

for six months and what were you doing

there

enjoying myself i see you daddy's still

picking up the tab

and why not he's got so much money it

even disgusts me

it was just like i figured lucy led me

right to the bus

now it was up to me to nab him and i

knew the score

well desperate times require desperate

measures

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who's that oh that's tim he belongs to

the zoo

interesting exhibit i'll take your

picture

now how about that tool

and uh further along there is the

bushland section and more of the hoof

mammoth

fascinating but the daughters see the

the avery can i take your picture

the other one didn't work look we

haven't got time tim i do have to get

back to work eventually

you know the lake by the restaurant

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is this all barry about the only type of

bird that isn't here

is roast turkey it's wonderful

wonderful aren't there any more

only those kept in the off limits area

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look barry i really should be getting

the scenes is far more interesting i'm

sure mr spencer wouldn't want you to

neglect me

shall we

everything's held here before

assimilation

they're checked for disease injury and

when they're okay they go in with the

zoo stop

very quiet so where do you keep the

keeper

lunch i guess

ah i'm out of phil

thanks for the tour you're leaving i

have a date with mr spencer remember

i don't like him much oh that's because

you've just met him

after a while you really get to load him

[Music]

he sure took long enough i couldn't rush

it it would have looked suspicious

told you i had friends in the right

places and i've got a bonus

like regulation shirt i picked it up

while some dotty old fool was showing me

around the zoo

i am an honorary member of the zoo

that'll get you into the off-limits area

what's it look like

perfect i said it's between 12 14 000

worth of birds just waiting to be

collected maybe more well

even if you're half right that'll help

get you out of debt

you're getting your cut i'll do it

tomorrow

how many plates three

smells good four

what are we having five

we getting tea or playing bingo company

what do you think of spencer's

revolutionary idea

you're not seriously considering it i'm

just seriously humoring him

and keating our new honorary member of

thoughts

who's kidding a young bloke that had

julie in his clutches this afternoon

listen ah she's not going to start going

out with him is she

no julie might find him attractive only

if she's blind

yeah she can be naive at times i'll

grant you that oh our julie's not the

woman of the world she sometimes

pretends to be

father what are you gonna do i'll give

them something to really worry about she

could do better than that

[Music]

ah julie

uh juice julie

uh i'll have some dad julie's not

connecting too well nothing wrong i hope

no

everything's just wonderful

i mean at least you haven't lost your

appetite stay for dinner no

i already have a dinner engagement with

uh

him

look out for traffic too late she's

already been hit

hold the camera still

oh come on stand still

oh hey

there's that berry blow i'm gonna get a

shot of him

i'm gonna leave you to it

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[Music]

anyone stop you no birds are just around

the back they're ready for the taking

hurry wait here i'll be in the car

i said wait here okay okay

now remember anybody approaches you

you've just started work here

and if that ain't bite it's just too bad

for them

now look rick i don't want any violence

relax after they should be able to pay

up a few bad debts

that's with a little sweating isn't it

tim's been sh**ting everything in sight

he took off after that barry guy

barry keating yeah coming back for

second quick

hurry what's all this julie your

boyfriend's here

we know cupid what's it to you he's with

another fella

well i'm not the jealous type but

they're pinching the birds

what yeah off limits let's go

i can't believe it julie tell ken susie

find mr bennett get mr bennett quick

[Music]

i can't believe it he used me to get

into off limits

mz3 here mz3 this is a general alert

we've had a major bird theft in the

off-limits area now keep a lookout for

two men

one of them is known to us as mr barry

keating

julie i know you're pretty taken with

barry don't you mean taken in

i'd have tested him mitch paul hell's

breaking loose out there what's going on

we've been cleaned out sure we have i

arranged it you

these birds were all cleared yesterday i

had them transferred him with the others

this morning

tim i want to talk to you the alert

right this is mz3 again sorry that was a

false alarm on the

alert okay all's well

right now i want to talk to you

nick hasn't gone off to get the police

has he oh no susie chase him up would

you

sure dad i'll go no you won't

you'll stay here and we'll talk

what about julie's boyfriend and someone

else

you saw the boyfriend yeah but he wasn't

carrying a sack full of glass

and he was alone oh no i never believed

me

the other one came later when i was

trying to take the picture

he had a zoo uniform on the right shirt

and everything

right one of harry shirts was missing

yeah he was looking for it this morning

see

what did i tell you all right

we'll give you a break but if all this

is happening in that fantasy land you

call your head

i personally feed you to the crocs crocs

see didn't i tell you you told us

well what do we do now get julie another

boyfriend

but i need the money i've got debts

you sure have and you are some pretty

heavy people

tim go and get julie quick leave me the

camera

but you gotta come now please tim go

away i've got to get these samples out

by three

nick and susie are watching him we heard

him say they're gonna come back

anytime and take anything they want they

take you i'll give them a package deal

but they're frogs tim please out

out

you're not kidding me come on what's up

where's julie she didn't believe me that

girl's got no imagination

hey one of them's going yeah but barry's

still there

so what he's a friend of the zoo he's a

friend of mr spencer

they wouldn't believe us now if we took

up a petition

oh he's going they believe as if we

caught him in the act wouldn't i

sure but how

go on hello

get lost

you were here yesterday didn't you see

everything

i saw enough bet you didn't see a new

rat line did you

hey you could not because he's off

limits

he's now now he's all white

that's why he's worth so much money

how much is so much twelve thousand

dollars julie reckons

for a snake

[Music]

i should get over here why

listen kid when i say something you do

it all right now get over here

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anything no

maybe we better get dad no we've got to

catch him trying to steal

her it's no good

i said over here

[Music]

do it

i'm frightened you're frightened

why doesn't tim get out

elizabeth

[Music]

let me out let me out let me out there's

a snake in here

don't say let me out i can't stand

snakes

for god's sake out of here

oh don't let me out get dead hurry up

get dead

get anyone

guess what julie that man yeah yeah i

know

my boyfriend's back yeah anyway what

you're finishing this time elephants oh

the owl owl snake

it's high time we had to talk about your

imagination no but

we're gonna have a talk maybe we better

let him out

he might get bitten you might die then

it'd be m*rder

i don't know i think that's manslaughter

that's a letter from my mind

maybe tim couldn't find dad

tim what's up look i'm sure your mum has

told you if you get you keep carrying

like that no one will believe you

what is it it's true barry was trying to

steal the rattlesnake okay

later i'll explain later but he smashed

a tank and something's escaped

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[Music]

way good when i get out of here

you're gonna need it

don't move and don't take your eyes off

it

catch it i wouldn't stand a chance

there's no known antidote for this one

then k*ll the thing

what embrace you waiting for get help

now first up why are you trying to bag

that i was after the rattlesnake

see i told ya

[Music]

get me out of here oh you should feel

right at home

now what about the birds we tried for

them earlier

see i told you they were already gone

see

we know we know now the guy you were

working with

he had a ready market for the birds in

asia and the states

what's his name

forget it i've got a shot of him with

tim's camera

both of them together nick

call the police what's out

a couple of snakes venomous just the one

on the bench

daddy what happened to you

she's all shaken up

you you said there was no antidote

don't need one betty here is about as

lethal as a

a christmas beetle what's been going on

the case of the albino rattler tim

solved it

had a bit of help why the albino

for twelve thousand dollars i thought it

was worth it twelve

thousand closer to twelve

i must have heard i'm wrong

[Music]

i owe you an apology tim forget it

but there's still a question to julie's

keys

desperate times require desperate

measures

hi are the police still questioning the

love of my naive life

okay okay yes but he won't identify as a

compass

ah what you were just to find you all

together well bennett you've uh

mentioned my little scheme yes i have mr

spencer your reaction dr mitchell

speechless no no no there's no need for

flattery

i take it we're on an agreement no

it just isn't practical mr spencer i

consider it to be practical

my gold wife considers it to be so and

mr barry keating

of the keatings a young man of utter

integrity

deems it nothing short of brilliant mr

spencer

there he is now i i say i say wait wait

someone said

mr cheating i've been wanting to speak

with you

i thought perhaps we could dine

i think not

things to do things to do come on it's

time to go

lego's a young man of utter integrity

and there goes a fine judge of character

animal crackers

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[Applause]

so

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