My name's Charles Bronson.
And all my life I've wanted
to be famous.
I knew I was made
for better things.
I had a calling.
I just didn't know
what as.
Weren't singing.
Can't f*cking act.
Kind of running out
of choices really,
aren't we?
♪ Baby, it's slow ♪
♪ When the lights go low ♪
♪ There's no help, no... ♪
♪ Baby, it's slow ♪
♪ When the lights go low ♪
♪ There's no help, no ♪
♪ He's drilling through ♪
♪ The spiritus sanctus tonight ♪
♪ Through the dark hip falls ♪
♪ Screaming ♪
♪ Oh, you mambos k*ll me ♪
♪ And k*ll me and k*ll me ♪
♪ If I jerk the handle ♪
♪ You'll die
in your dreams ♪
♪ If I jerk the handle ♪
♪ Jerk the handle ♪
♪ You'll thrill me ♪
♪ And thrill me ♪
♪ And thrill me. ♪
Right, how else can I explain it?
There was nothing wonky
about my upbringing.
My parents were decent,
respectable and upstanding
members of society.
I went to school.
I kept my head down.
So like most kids,
I got into trouble.
You b*stard!
I liked it.
Oh, Michael.
Mrs. Peterson, I really must
talk to you about Michael.
But I wasn't bad.
I wasn't bad bad.
And I still have my principles.
I took the first job
I could get my hands on.
Bring the fries, Peterson.
I suppose the crumpet
wasn't bad.
Mrs. Peterson,
we'd like to have
a word with your son.
Michael.
Michael Peterson.
Right.
Yeah, before I forget,
I did come into this world
as Michael Peterson.
But I'll go out
with my fighting name...
Charlie Bronson.
Which is my alter ego.
1974...
tough time
to be young in England.
Not a lot of opportunity around.
Still, life moves on.
Irene and I got hitched.
It was all right.
We didn't have it bad
for a couple from the chippy.
But they don't give you
a star on the walk of fame
for "not bad," do they?
Michael, what is that noise?
For God's sakes.
So this is the post office
I did over.
This is what I got away with.
And this is what they gave me.
Seven years!
Don't worry, son.
You won't do the seven.
You'll be out in four.
I had you going, didn't I?
Huh?
Go on!
I had you going!
I've always fancied myself
as a bit of a comedian.
But seven years
is a long time.
Now I'm not gonna
stand here, right, and tell you...
tell you that prison
is "not bad."
No, that would be
misrepresenting myself.
And I think enough of that
has been done already,
don't you?
No.
You see, I didn't see
a cell, a cage
or a box.
To me, it was a hotel room.
Don't get me wrong.
For most people,
prison is tough.
A monotonous nightmare.
24 hours a day,
seven days a week,
365 days a year
of pure, unadulterated,
living, breathing hell.
But for me,
prison was finally a place
where I could sharpen my tools,
hone my skills.
It's like a battleground,
isn't it?
It was an opportunity
and a place where soon
every native
was gonna know my name.
What's the matter, Charlie?
Do you want me to take
you through it again?
No, we don't do work
in long-term prisons.
It's vocational training
so you can get a job when-.
f*ck off!
What's the problem, Peterson?
Problem?
I said, what's the problem,
Peterson?
I don't know.
I don't have a problem.
Keep your chin up, mate.
Oh, crikey.
Would you like
a cup of tea, mate?
Thanks, Mickey.
Love one.
- Milk and sugar?
- Please.
- How many sugars?
- Two.
One, two.
♪ Picture you
upon my knee ♪
♪ Tea for two ♪
♪ And two for tea ♪
♪ Just me for you ♪
♪ And you for me ♪
♪ Alone. ♪
And would you like
a cup of tea too, mate?
Nothing closer to my heart
than a good cup
of British char.
- Milk and sugar?
- No, I like it dark.
Oh.
That's an impressive set
of g*ns you have there.
You must be handy in a brawl.
Bam-bam,
knockout, ding-ding.
Very nice.
But time stops for no man,
ladies and germs.
And my time was coming up.
Parole!
And just when I was about
to make a name to be reckoned with.
Oh, yeah, as what?
As what?
You don't wanna be trapped
inside with me, sunshine.
Inside, I'm someone
nobody wants to f*ck with.
Do you understand?
I am Charlie Bronson.
I am Britain's
most violent prisoner.
Prison was,
honestly, brilliant!
I liked it personally.
f*ck that. I loved it!
It was exciting.
It was on the edge.
It was madness as its very best.
The problem is
once you get comfortable,
or sometimes even before,
they ghost you again
and again,
moving you from prison
to prison to prison.
And I f*cking hate that.
Parkhurst, God bless that place.
The accommodation
was more than worthy
of my royal self.
Your own bed,
toilet, a sink.
The food was
of exceptional standard.
Yes, Parkhurst was a corker.
And hull prison,
well, what can I say?
Well worth a visit.
Scrubs-not my
favorite place to visit.
But the staff are ready
to make your stay
as memorable as possible.
We had a laugh.
How we laughed.
♪ Please release me ♪
♪ Let me go ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't love you ♪
♪ Anymore. ♪
In the end, I got it wrong.
Quite seriously wrong, actually.
They sent me here,
the funny farm.
Where are we going?
Oh, what have you got for me,
you jolly boys?
Jolly boys all the lot of you.
c**t c**t c**t c**t c**t.
Wait till I f*cking kick
the sh*t out the lot of you.
Right, Peterson.
Now you've had a chance to cool down.
I'll explain the rampton rules.
Rule number one,
you do as you're told.
Rule number two?
This ain't prison.
We're lion tamers here.
Uh-huh.
Right, take these pills.
Stick 'em up your f*cking a*s.
Yeah, huh?
Yeah, he'll be back. c**t.
f*cking whip rag,
you'll f*cking sh*t it.
You f*cking gone
and done it, you c**t!
You f*cking c**t!
You f*cking c**t!
The thing is
they don't understand.
They'll never understand.
And that scares 'em.
So they keep you drugged up.
What's that gonna change?
Ain't gonna change
the you inside.
I think I know the truth.
You're no more mad than I am.
Yeah, it's all just made up.
It's rubbish.
You, me...
nine-year-old girl.
It's a loveology.
♪ When I look back
upon my life ♪
♪ It's always
with a sense of shame ♪
♪ I've always been
the one to blame ♪
♪ For everything I long to do ♪
♪ No matter when
or where or who ♪
♪ Has one thing
in common too ♪
♪ It's a-it's a-
it's a... ♪
♪ It's a sin ♪
♪ It's a sin ♪
♪ Everything I've ever done,
everything I ever do ♪
♪ Every place
I've ever been ♪
♪ Everywhere
I'm going to ♪
♪ It's a sin ♪
♪ At school
they taught me how to be ♪
♪ So pure in thought ♪
♪ And word and deed ♪
♪ They didn't
quite succeed ♪
♪ For everything I long to do ♪
♪ No matter when
or where or who ♪
♪ Has one thing
in common too ♪
♪ It's a-it's a-
it's a... ♪
♪ It's a sin ♪
♪ It's a sin... ♪
♪ Everything I've ever done,
everything I ever do ♪
♪ Every place
I've ever been ♪
♪ Everywhere
I'm going to. ♪
f*cking loonies,
they're great, mate,
but...
well...
they're f*cking loonies,
aren't they?
And I had to get out somehow.
This was not a hotel I wanted
to stay at anymore.
Being a celebrity and all,
I needed to check out.
And I had a good idea
how to do it.
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
I will now reenact
what I like to call
"what happens
when m*rder goes wrong."
When do I go back?
Now now, Mr. Peterson,
We aren't going to start up
all that silliness again, are we?
Listen, nursey,
I just wanna know
when my trial is
and when I head back
to the slammer,
Right?
Wrong, Mr. Peterson.
Now let's not play
silly buggers, eh?
I'll just have to pop you in the botty
with one of my special potions, hmm?
When's my trial?
Uh-uh-uh.
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk, no.
Mr. White recovered, dear.
There's no trial.
Isn't that wonderful?
However, you are being moved.
Where?
Yes, Mr. Peterson.
Broadmoor Asylum
for the criminally insane.
I deserve to go to prison
for what I did.
I want my hotel room back.
Well, I'm sure you'll
find yourself some solitary.
And I did.
26 years.
26 years of solitary I've done,
and I ain't k*lled no one.
I'm not joking.
Not a soul!
Ever!
Well, I thought,
"If you're gonna be
unfair with me,
I'm gonna show you the ultimate
in unfair takedowns."
Now this is what I call.
"Charlie
versus Broadmoor."
♪ When I'm a rock and roll ♪
♪ When I'm the rock ♪
♪ And roll ♪
♪ When I'm
the rock and roll star ♪
♪ When I'm a rock
and roll ♪
♪ When he's
a rock and roll ♪
- ♪ When I'm a rock and roll ♪
- ♪ When he's a rock and roll ♪
♪ When I'm
a rock and roll ♪
♪ Superstar. ♪
Well, that told me.
Truth be told, though,
they didn't want me
in there anymore anyway.
Apparently, I've managed
to cost the system
tens of millions of pounds
in damage.
And her majesty no longer
wanted to pleasure herself
with Britain's most
expensive prisoner.
I know. It's not the moniker
that I was looking for,
but what were they gonna do?
I mean, they couldn't let
a loony run around for free.
Oh yeah.
They had a dirty trick
up their sleeve.
They only went
and certified me sane,
didn't they?
So before I knew it,
I was back on the streets again.
But Charlie B.
ain't no f*cking pillow biter.
Oh, no.
So it was time
to suck up the free air
and see what the world
had to offer me.
Very funny, boys.
Right.
It's been a pleasure.
Look at you. Dad.
Hi, son.
Come on in, son.
That's right.
I'll show you your room,
and then we'll have
a nice cup of tea.
Come on, son.
That's right.
Oh, look, it's me.
I was very small.
Where's all my stuff?
We couldn't bring
everything, Michael.
That was Luton.
What, all of it?
We kept some.
Where's my bed?
No, not this one.
The other one,
what I had when I was a child.
We couldn't keep
everything, Michael.
We don't have the room.
Is my bed still in Luton?
Luton...
never changes, does it?
Now my mom once said,
"Stick with what you know."
And I knew two things.
I knew Luton
and I knew Uncle Jack.
And Uncle Jack knew everyone.
And anyone he didn't know
wasn't worth knowing.
Going on holiday?
No.
Something better than that.
I'm gonna make a name for myself.
Oh, yeah, doing what?
I'm gonna k*ll the queen.
So you're off to London then?
No.
Luton's where it's at.
Well, f*ck me inside out.
Come in, my dear boy.
You're just in time for c*ck.
Hello.
Hello.
Luton calling.
Ladies and gentlemen
in ladies' attire,
allow me to present
my favorite nephew,
newly relieved
of Her Majesty's pleasure,
Mickey Peterson.
Sit down, my dear boy.
I'll sit there.
How are you?
Miss gorgeous here
will get you a c*ck.
Michael.
It's very exciting to meet you.
Our Jack here, he says
you're quite a celebrity on the inside.
Mmm.
Oh. Thank you.
It's a complete turnoff.
Mm-hmm.
Your face rug.
Be like kissing a fanny.
Ooh.
That's an outstanding
set of mustaches.
I admire your dedication.
Mmm.
I always knew you had
an artistic bent.
So, big boy,
what does the future hold
for Michael Peterson?
Ooh.
Ambition is the virtue
of all great men.
He's going to stay here with us.
All right, my pets?
Say the more the merrier.
For as long as you like.
That's very strong.
It's wonderful.
Uncle Jack always had
his ear to the ground.
And it turns out, there was an old prison
mate of mine in Luton too.
- Peterson.
- This your gaff?
Yes.
How much you get?
10 years.
f*cking hell.
Make Mickey a cup
of tea, please.
Let's f*ck.
So are you interested?
Of course I f*cking am.
You're looking good, Mickey.
Fit, strong,
powerful.
You can make some money.
Serious money.
All you need's a name.
What's wrong
with Mickey Peterson?
No, you need a fighting name.
Like a movie star.
Oh, right.
Charlton Heston.
Look, love,
nobody gives a toss
about Charlton Heston.
The man's a c**t.
You're more
the Charles Bronson type.
Charles Bronson.
Yes, "Death Wish."
That's you down
to a tee, perfect.
Charlie...
f*cking Bronson.
Hmm.
♪ This is red red
red red red ♪
♪ This is orange orange
orange orange orange ♪
♪ This is red red
red red red ♪
♪ This is orange orange
orange orange orange ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow. ♪
What are you looking at?
I can feel you
looking at me, Charlie.
Do you want me to do your nails?
No.
What's that from?
Fight.
And that one?
Fight.
Fight.
You're very muscley, aren't you?
Mind if I hold your arm?
Oh my God.
It's huge.
Um...
you should-.
What?
You-you shouldn't-.
What, Charlie?
You shouldn't mess around with boys
what are bigger than you.
Oh, really?
sh*t.
Lucky man.
Lucky c**t.
Oh, yeah!
Hey! All right.
Hey!
Yeah.
Do you want some
f*cking m*rder, yeah?
Who wants some f*cking m*rder?
You don't look well, mate.
All right, you f*cking c**t.
20 quid? You're having
a f*cking laugh, ain't you?
Spare me the Oliver
Twist routine.
Charlie, love, you need to build
your audience.
I gave you f*cking magic
in there.
Magic?
You just pissed on a gypsy
in the middle
of f*cking nowhere.
It's hardly the hottest
ticket in town, darling.
All right, when is the next one?
Let him f*cking go.
If he wants to go,
let him f*cking go!
- Come on!
- Have at him!
I love you.
What?
I love you.
- It's been nice.
- Mm-hmm.
But I love Brian.
Who's Brian?
He's my boyfriend.
And he's got a motorbike.
Brian.
Yes, sir, can I help you?
Yeah, well...
I want to take a butchers
at that ring there.
That ring there, sir?
That's a £1,000 ring, sir.
Right. f*ck off!
Don't f*cking move!
Or I'll k*ll you, all right?
Don't f*cking move!
And don't call the police
- for 10 minutes.
- I won't.
All right?
15 minutes.
Happy Christmas.
I've been thinking...
You're a very
sweet man, Charlie.
...about-about you.
Yeah, but you've
got no ambition.
You know what I mean?
Bought you this.
Eh?
Eh?
Thank you.
Brian and me
are getting married.
Right.
Well...
congratulations.
Eh?
See you later, Charlie.
f*cking charming.
Onwards and upwards.
That's what I always say.
Everything happens
for a reason, don't it?
Hear hear.
Magic.
Well, it turns out
that lovely lady
in the jewelry shop
waited exactly 15 minutes.
But it didn't take them
15 minutes to find me.
We'd been expecting them.
Well well well.
Charles Bronson is it now?
An American Mongolian pop star.
Film star, sir.
"Death Wish."
Bloody good, as it happens.
Yeah, I'm sure, Webber.
I'm sure, thank you.
So...
69 days, was it?
69 days all to yourself.
Another of your prison
records broken.
So tell me, Charles Bronson,
what exactly did
you do with yourself
for these 69 days?
I was building an empire.
You're ridiculous.
Good morning, Charlie.
Something to read?
Got another Jilly Cooper.
Tell me how you got on
with "Who Dares Wins" then.
I've heard it's really good.
- Shut your f*cking mouth!
- No problem, Charlie.
Shut the f*ck up, you c**t!
Shut it!
Right.
Now I've got
a librarian up here.
And he's in a lot of trouble.
So I think you should send
someone up
to help him out, don't you?
For f*ck's sake,
he's at it again.
He's got a hostage.
Get the governor!
Right.
Sit down.
Not there! On the f*cking
karzy, you c**t!
What happens now?
Um...
I don't know.
Well, I guess we'll
just have to...
we'll have to wait.
I can wait all day.
I'm not going anywhere.
You're not going anywhere,
you f*cking c**t.
We'll just f*cking wait.
I'll wait.
- Hello.
- Hello, Charlie.
- Can you hear me?
- Of course I can f*cking hear you.
There's nothing wrong
with my hearing, you c**t.
What is it, Charlie?
What is it, Charlie?
Well...
I am sitting here with...
what's your name?
- Love.
- Love?!
- Andy Love.
- Oh, Andy Love.
Yeah?
All right, I'm sitting here
with Andy Love.
And I'm gonna snap
his f*cking neck
and stick his head up
his a*s if I don't get what I want!
What do you want?
What do I want?
What have you got?
Well...
that's entirely up to you,
isn't it?
We're done. You can f*ck off.
I've had enough.
All right...
Andy Love.
Are you a family man?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- I got two kids.
- Two kids, yeah?
- What are you doing?
- What am I doing?
What does it f*cking look like
I'm doing, you c**t?
- Look, let's-let's talk.
- No, I'm done talking.
f*cking pointless.
- Wait-
- Wait for what?
Right.
- That's it.
- What are you gonna do now?
What am I gonna do?
I'm gonna put my
f*cking body paint on.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Get my body armor, all right?
f*cking hell.
Let's have it.
Go on, get some of that rubbed on
my back, you c**t.
- What?
- Get it on my f*cking back.
Rub it in, you slag!
Go on, rub it in.
That's right. We ain't got all day.
Rub it right down my back.
Down my back and my legs.
Back of my legs, on my a*s.
On my a*s cheeks.
On my a*s.
Not in my a*s, you f*cking h*m*!
On it.
Quickly. Quicker.
Quicker. Quicker!
Quicker! Quicker!
Quicker! Quicker!
Quicker! Quicker!
f*ck off!
Sit down in the corner.
Don't move, c**t!
Now hang on
to your fillings, right?
'Cause it's gonna
get f*cking hairy.
- Come here.
- f*ck off, you c**t!
All right, Charlie Bronson.
I'll get straight to the point.
We have been sailing rather close
to the wind of late,
and I detect a rocky patch.
I had hoped that you coming
onto the special unit
with us might make you want
to stop this hostage
taking business,
this attacking of my officers.
We can handle this prick, sir.
Webber, will you please
take the rest
of the afternoon off?
Thank you.
Be in my office at 6:15 sharp
tomorrow morning.
- Thank you, goodbye.
- Yes, sir.
Look, I'm not in the habit
of making deals with prisoners.
For your recent escapade,
you will be punished again.
Block.
If you have absolutely
no interest whatsoever
in yourself,
then you leave us at a loss
with regards what to do with you.
What would you like us to do,
Charlie Bronson?
f*ck off.
You're pitiful.
You know that?
And I can promise you this,
if you further this
mindless behavior,
if you continue to act
in this nihilistic and godless fashion,
you will die inside.
Un, dos, tres.
Cuatro.
Como esta?
- What?
- What's this?
- A painting.
- Good for you.
Now what do you mean?
Talk to me.
Sun, sea, sand,
naked women, perfect.
- Whose is this?
- Eh?
Whose is this?
Come on, own up.
Who did the crime?
Bombs away.
Not your art teacher
for nothing, you know?
Very interesting, Charlie.
Interesting?
Yeah, it's interesting.
What does that mean?
What does interesting mean?
Interesting's good.
Bravado!
You know?
Yeah, you can't pin it down,
can't compute.
You can't tie that up
in a nice little pink bow.
No, you can't pin me down, mate.
- Pajaros!
- You f*cking what?
Birds. Birds, Charlie.
I'm leaning Spanish.
- Español.
- Oh.
Are you?
Olé!
Lot of birds
in your work, Charlie.
I don't really get
to see much through...
bit of birds
and bars.
Pajaros.
Pajaros.
I know, mate.
Here's an idea for you.
Find that piece of you, Charles.
That piece that
doesn't belong here.
f*cking hell.
Prisoner BT1314, Bronson, sir.
Good afternoon, Bronson.
Well, Mr. Danielson
here tells me
that you've been doing
extraordinarily well
in your creative endeavors.
Champion's a budding Magritte.
That's right, yeah.
You know, we've been
holding these artist materials for you,
sent in by your cousin Lorraine.
Well, now that we're rather sadly having
to consider the future
of the arts facility,
I don't see any reason why you shouldn't
be allowed these materials now.
Should help tremendously
with your work.
Mr. Danielson really has
got great confidence
in your cooperation,
your responsibility,
your ability to interact
within the group.
I strongly advise
that you continue
to follow this path.
And I look forward to seeing some
of this wonderful work
I've heard so much about.
Governor, Charlie's
actually brought something
for you to have
a look at now if you'd lik...
Charlie, give me that.
That's for you.
Thank you.
If you give it to Webber,
I'll be able to have
a look at it later.
Thank you.
Right then, Bronson.
What are you waiting for, son?
Let's go, move it!
Move it!
I said, let's go.
Move it!
Sorry, Webber.
That's for you, mate.
He's a star f*ck, that one.
I'll make sure he looks
at that painting, mate.
Don't you worry about that.
Review the unit-pfft!
Honest to God, though,
Charlie, and I'll tell you this straight,
I wouldn't be surprised if they started
to discuss your release date.
I mean, look,
it's just my opinion.
It's not necessarily
the opinion of others.
But you know,
if there's one thing I am,
I am a very good judge
of character.
Yep.
Sí sí.
Sí sí sí.
You'll get a call, mate.
You will.
You know why?
You're a brilliant artist.
Bueno.
Buenísimo.
I'm so excited, mate.
I'm proud as punch,
'cause you are a f*cking star.
Gov's a c**t.
He is. f*ck him.
Can't stand the w*nk*r.
Just keep your head down
and I'm absolutely positivo
that we can do this.
We can, mate.
What do you mean we?
We-no.
I'm just saying-.
No no no, Charlie.
Charles.
Don't misunderstand me, mate.
What I'm saying is you...
you are finally gonna get
what you've always wanted.
What do you know
about what I f*cking want?
What happened to my tea, Phil?
Sorry, mate. I'm such a c**t.
I completely forgot.
Two for you.
Two for me.
And then we have a cup of tea.
Charlie.
What is it you want now?
Music.
I don't see how
that's gonna help the situation.
I'll f*cking k*ll him!
I swear it!
Bennett.
- Get me some music on now, please.
- Yes, Gov.
Here, Charlie.
Not feeling very well now, mate.
Oh, yeah.
That's a f*cking piece of me.
Right, that's enough!
He's had enough.
Get him out of here.
Go on, get him the f*ck out of here.
He's had enough.
Come on, you f*cking c**ts.
No class tomorrow, eh?
♪ This is red red
red red red ♪
♪ This is orange orange
orange orange orange ♪
♪ This is red red
red red red ♪
♪ This is orange orange
orange orange orange ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is
yellow ♪
♪ This is yellow ♪
♪ This is green green
green green green ♪
♪ This is blue
blue blue ♪
♪ Green green green
green green ♪
♪ Blue ♪
♪ This is violet ♪
♪ This is
violet ♪
♪ This is violet ♪
♪ This is
violet ♪
♪ This is violet ♪
♪ This is
violet ♪
♪ This is violet ♪
♪ This is the brilliance
of white light ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ In shines in the roses
and gardenias ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ In shines in the stars
and houses ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ The brilliance
of white ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ White light ♪
♪ This is the brilliance
of white light ♪
♪ White light. ♪
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Bronson (2009)
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