04x01 - Into the Heart of Coldness/The Remarkable Beardini!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just off the shores
of Never Land ♪

♪ A hideaway at sea
Yo h*, yo h* ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ A pirate band
outwits the plans ♪

♪ Of Captain Hook
and Smee ♪

♪ Yo h*, yo h*,
let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ The merry crew of
Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Through and through,
they're jolly buccaneers ♪

♪ Come with Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Come along,
we need some volunteers ♪

Izzy, ahoy!

Cubby, ahoy!

Skully, ahoy!

Matey, ahoy!

♪ Yo-ooooo! ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ Climb aboard, me hearties,
and be a pirate true ♪

♪ Captain Jake
and the Never Land Pirates ♪

♪ We'll set
the course together ♪

♪ Come on
and join the crew ♪

- Come on, mateys.
- Yo h*, let's go!

Yarr!

It's all true.

I've sailed everywhere
around the Never World

from the tip-top
of Mount Neverest...

Pearl, what's all
the commotion?

Who is that bloke?

Skipper Flimflam.

He's an old sea captain,

and he's been telling us about
all his exciting travels.

So's I gotta tell ye,

the most fantastically
frigid place

I ever dropped anchor was...

Snow-Blast Summit,

a frozen oasis with
everything it takes

to warm the hearts
of cold-lovin' critters.

[all] Ooh!

♪ Gather round
and listen here ♪

♪ I'll tells ya
all I know ♪

♪ About that frozen
frosty land ♪

How cold is it there?

♪ It's a comfy
five below ♪

♪ And that be summertime ♪

♪ Why, it's a place
of pure delight ♪

♪ The likes
you've never seen ♪

♪ There's snowballs,
codfish, peppermints ♪

♪ And the snow cones
grow on trees ♪

♪ Toboggan belly sliding ♪

♪ It's the best
you ever will ♪

♪ 'Cause there's always
one more sledding run ♪

♪ So you never walk uphill ♪

♪ It's a wonderland
of snow and ice ♪

♪ It's the perfect
penguin paradise ♪

♪ Yes, such a wonderland
of snow and ice ♪

♪ The perfect
penguin paradise ♪

Woo-hoo!

[cheering]

Come on, follow me,
my little mateys,

to Snow-Blast Summit.

[penguins chattering]

Pearl, wait.
Don't go.

It all sounds
too good to be true,
don't you think?

Percy Penguin,
you're always so suspicious.

I've got my heart
set on going.

Come on.
It'll be fun.

Okay, okay,
go easy on the flipper.

March right this way.

Freeze snap!

Crikey!

[cackling laughter]

Surprise!

Slush bucket.

You're Shiverjack,
the evil ice wizard.

That's right.

And you penguins
are now my prisoners.

Snowmugs!

See to it that
my guests behave
themselves.

Away!
To Frozen Guard!

Quick. We got to
abandon ship.

Stop those two!

Oh, Percy,
we're moving too fast.

No worries.
I'll protect you.

Hey!

Percy!

I'll get help
and save you.

I'll save all of you,
I promise.

And that's the last I saw
of Pearl and my mates.

[sighs]

Don't worry, Percy.

We won't let Shiverjack
get away with this.

Looks like that
cold-hearted creep

lives in Frozen Guard.

It's an iceberg castle
way up north.

Yo h*, Frozen Guard
we go.

[all] Aye, aye,
Captain Jake.

Yo h*, let's go!

Yo h*, let's go!

♪ All aboard, on our way
with Captain Jake ♪

Lead the way!

♪ Come on, crew,
I'm calling you ♪

♪ We're with you
all the way ♪

♪ Band together,
pirates and mates ♪

♪ And anchors aweigh ♪

♪ We'll set sail
with Captain Jake today ♪

Yo h*,
Captain Jake!

Cold crackers.
Frozen Guard dead ahead.

Let's hurry.
It gives me the chills

to think of Pearl
and my poor mates

trapped in that place.

- [all exclaiming]
- Slush buckets.

Button your beaks.

Ya see these holes?

They're tunnels.
You penguins be
the only ones

small enough
to swim through them.

What's so important
down there?

Somewhere in the tunnels

is a crystal filled
with great magic.

The heart of coldness.

I must have it.

Now into the tunnel.

Dive deep.

Only the heart of coldness
can give me the extra power

I need to freeze
the Never world.

[growling]

What? There are
strangers approaching?

Let us offer them
a cold reception.

[evil laughter]

Eyes peeled, mateys.

Old Frosty-pants
won't be happy to see us.

[all gasping]

Not so,
pirate trespassers.

I'm pleased
to see you freeze.

Shiverjack, we're here
to take the penguins home.

The penguins stay.

I have need
of their services.

As for you
and your meddlesome pirates,

eh, not so much.

Snowmugs, grab them.

Hands off.
Whoa!

Oh, no!

Good work.

Now throw these annoying
pirates into the cooler.

That's what we call
the dungeon.

[laughing]

Hey, Mr. Snow Guy,

got any hot cocoa?

[growling]

Shiverjack needs you.

- Go.
- Huh?

Is it just me,

or does that new mug
look kinda shrimpy?

You wanna get
in trouble?

[growls]
I'm grunting.

Go on, get off.
Go!

No worries, mates.

It's me, and look
what I brought.

My mighty captain's sword.

Thanks, Percy.

Now we're gonna
heat things up.

Come on, mateys.

Let's go get Pearl
and the rest of
Percy's pals.

It's dark and dangerous
down in those tunnels.

It's a wonder
none of us got hurt.

No excuses.

You will return below
until you find what I want.

We already did.

The heart of coldness.
Give it here.

[laughs]

Now that the crystal's
magic is mine,

I have enough power
to freeze the whole Never world.

I'll be the cold master of
my own frosty kingdom.

You can kiss your
frozen dreams good-bye,
Shiverjack,

'cause they're
about to melt away.

Snowmugs, stop them.

I need more time
to power up.

Yo h*, let's go.

Now, Captain Jake.

Power up!

Come on, Pearl.
Pixie dust away.

It's over, Shiverjack.

Oh, it's just
beginning, Captain Jake.

No one can stop my magic.

Well, no one
can stop Captain Jake.

Take that, evil ice man.

Look what you've done.

The heart of coldness,
it's going to...

explode!

- Crackers!
- Abandon iceberg.

Oh, the crystal
must be cooled.

Snowmugs, do something.

Bucky, full speed ahead.
Let's go.

Do you think that Shiverjack
can fix

that crystal gizmo
of his?

Guess not.

Looks like Shiverjack won't
be bothering anyone else
for a while.

Percy, you saved us.

You're a regular hero.

Oh, not me.

But I know
some genuine heroes.

Captain Jake
and the bravest crew

to ever sail
the Never sea.

[penguins cheering]

Way to go, mateys.

For helping Percy save
Pearl and the penguins,

we got ten
gold doubloons.

Let's put 'em in
our team treasure chest.

[whistles]

Yeah!

I'll get Captain Jake
and his hot-headed pirates

if it's the last
thing I...

[sneezes loudly]

[screams]

[splash]

Snowmugs,
do something!

Ya-ha! I found it
again, Mr. Smee.

The pirate magician's
lair.

Come. Let us
sneak inside

and take things that
do not belong to us.

[sighs]

Dear, dear me.

If memory serves,
Cap'n...

this is where Jake found
that invisibility ring.

The sea pups went to great
lengths to keep it from you.

I don't care
about the ring.

I'm looking for
other wonders,

like Beardini's
treasure-seeking wand!

But what if
the pirate magician returns

and finds us here?

Oh, pish-posh.

No one's seen
hide nor hair and a top hat

of Beardini for ages.

Now help me
find that wand.

Ooh, look, sir.

A chest with swords
stuck into it.

Perhaps the treasure wand
is inside.

Step aside, Smee.

Methinks the wand we seek
may be inside this chest.

Ta-da!

It is I,
the remarkable Beardini,

perfectly fine after
years in this infernal box.

But how did
you get inside--

Always read the instructions
before using

any new magical apparatus.

A better question
could be,

what are you doing
in my lair?

Oh, we, uh, thought
you might need help

getting out of
some chest or trunk.

And the Cap'n here
was looking for your
treasure-seeking wand.

My treasure wand?

Why, that is one of
my greatest magical secrets,

and I never
share my secrets.

♪ Beardini will show you
something here ♪

♪ With this
ordinary hat ♪

♪ Watch carefully
and you will see ♪

♪ Hatticus Piraticus ♪

♪ It is much more
than that ♪

♪ How did I do it?
You'll never know ♪

♪ This is
my solemn vow ♪

♪ The closer you're looking,
the less you will see ♪

♪ That's when
the trick goes pow! ♪

♪ It's remarkable
misdirection ♪

♪ You only see
what I wish you to ♪

♪ The truth
is out of the question ♪

♪ I won't share
my secrets with you ♪

♪ Remarkable
misdirection ♪

♪ The Great Beardini
never tells ♪

♪ My magic is mystery ♪

♪ And I guard
these secrets well ♪

♪ Which came first,
the parrot or the egg ♪

♪ Watch carefully
if you please ♪

♪ It's just
an empty bandanna ♪

♪ And there's nothing
up my sleeves ♪

♪ Just like that,
the magic happens ♪

♪ Beardini
puts on a show ♪

♪ How do I do it
again and again ♪

♪ Wouldn't you
like to know ♪

♪ Remarkable
misdirection ♪

♪ The Great Beardini
never tells ♪

♪ My magic is mystery ♪

♪ And I guard
these secrets well ♪

[laughs]

Oh, but you have
shared secrets.

I know of one pirate
who took off with your
invisibility ring.

My ring?
Who has it?

Tell me.

One of the puny residents
of Pirate Island.

I believe his name is Jake.

Jake, Pirate Island.
Excellent.

Thank you for
the information.

Hmm. Pirate Island.

But I cannot allow
interlopers

to sneak into my lair.

Begone!

Oh, my.

Couldn't have Beardini
zapped us here with
snow boots?

Get ready, Jake.

I shall have what is mine.

It's show time
for Beardini!

Banana thief
on the run!

Thanks. I'll take that.

Avast, monkey.

Begone. And stop stealing
from our hideout.

Yo h*, Captain Jake.

Way to go, crew.

No better way
to catch a thief

than with a pirate
magician's
invisibility ring.

[Beardini]
Lads and lasses,

denizens, pirates
of all ages,

it's show time
for Beardini!

A magician.

Not just any magician.

I am the Remarkable
Beardini,

Never Land's ancient
pirate magician.

Oh, coconuts. We were
just talking about your--

Silence!

I am performing.

For my first trick,
I shall need a volunteer.

You there,
with the wings.

[squawks]
That's okay.

I'm not really into
the spotlight.

Buildicus Gildicus!

Aw, crackers.
I'm a jailbird.

What a coconutty trick.

You seem tremendously
fond of coconuts, lad.

Perhaps you'll enjoy
my next trick.

I call it the wheel
of whirly-ness.

Huh? Hey!
Let me out of this thing.

Aha, but the trick
gets better.

Observe.

Buccaneericus Exerciso!

Whoa!

- Mateys, help!
- Cubby!

Don't worry, Cubby.

We've got powerful
magic, too.

Pixie dust--

Pixie dust!

Watch how powerful it is

when activated
all at once.

Dustus Activatus.

Hey, hey, no way!

Izzy!

That's it, Beardini.

Show's over.
Bring my mateys back.

Oh, but I've saved
my big escape routine for last,

and the one who must
escape shall be you!

Thanks, matey.

You're welcome, Skully.

You do have
my invisibility ring.

Ha ha, missed me.

Fie on you,
you pestering pirate.

Whoa! Roll on,
wheel of whirly-ness.

Gotta steer this thing...

back to the beach.

Gotta get control

of this situation.

Got it.
Hey, hey, yes, way.

What's this?

Captain Hook
and Mr. Smee?

Step lively, Mr. Smee.

While that miserable magician
is off retrieving

his precious
invisibility ring from Jake,

we shall pillage
his lair before he returns.

I say, where did you go?

Right under your nose,
Beardini.

Oh, that brigand Hook
was right.

You stole my ring.

Stole it?
I didn't steal...

Whoa!

You sawed-off
swashbuckler!

You foiled me.

Okay, Beardini,
enough hocus-pocus.

Tell me what's going on.

That invisibility ring
is one of my magical secrets.

We magicians
share our secrets
with no one.

I know it's yours.

I wouldn't have taken it,

but I had to keep
Captain Hook

from getting
his hooks on it.

Oh.
Yes, that would be bad.

I'll gladly
return your ring.

Thank you, lad.
Now, please,

free me from
these chains.

Just throw that silk
over me,

and say,
Alaca Piratical Zam!

Alaca Piratical Zam!

Not bad
for a beginner.

Uh, thanks.

But my mateys
are still in trouble, so...

Ahoy, Jake.
I made it back.

And I'm here.

Whoa!

Woo-hoo! That turned out
to be a blast.

But next time,
make a wheel with brakes.

My apologies, um,
Coconut Boy.

And to your mateys,
for everything.

None of you obviously
ever meant to steal my secrets.

I can't say the same
for Captain Hook.

I just flew over
your lair,

and saw him
sneaking inside.

Again?!

Oh, I knew I should've
sent him further away.

Come along,
my young mateys,

and observe
my greatest trick yet.

It's show time
for Beardini!

[Hook] We must get this chest
of magical secrets

down to the Jolly Roger
at once.

The Remarkable
Beardini's back.

With the popinjays.

I didn't want
my biggest fans

to miss
my big finale.

Hocus Piratical Pocus!

Where'd they go?

Help me, Smee.

Do something.

But, sir,
I'm a bunny, too.

Aw, they're bunnies.

This might be the first
time I ever thought

Hook was cute.

Uh, will this bunny spell
ever wear off?

Oh, yes.
Eventually.

In the meantime,

thank you for returning
my ring, young buccaneers.

Until we meet again.

[all] It's show time
for Beardini!

Ta-da!

Yo h*, mateys.

For returning the Remarkable
Beardini's magical secrets,

we got nine
gold doubloons.

Let's put 'em in
our team treasure chest.

[whistles]

Yeah!

Oh, Sharky, look at
the furry little bunny rabbits.

Aren't they cute?

Sharky, Bones,
get me out of here,

on the double.

Methinks the Cap'n
was cuter as a little
fuzzy bunny rabbit.

Much cuter.