01x18 - Episode 18

[bunniefuu]

Annie?

Honey, I'm home.

Who are you?Where's the...

I get it. You and Annie, huh

Little... little love mess with you and

Annie, is that it?I figure

I'll leave town to gather my thoughts.

My dream of 25 years just falls apart

like like a cheap suitcase.

Oh no. What'd she do?Sell the house?She

sold the house, didn't she?Yeah, that

figures. Probably ran out of town in the

middle of the night too, like the

Baltimore Colts. I'll tell you what I'd

like to do. I'd

like to just leave the same

doggone the way I came in, all right?All

rightImportant thing is... You guys look

like you need a little sleep.

Ohh So,

without further ado...

Hey, Charlie. Hey, Mr. Mix. I know you're

back already. Yeah, I'm back.

Charlie, uh, you want to get out of the

way?You can't go in there just yet. Why

not?There's something you

don't know about, and I feel that.

I think I I think I know what you're

talking about. Return to the legend. Is

that it?Bunch of speeches, champagne with

tears of joy. Come on, let's go make a

noise out of it. Come on. No, Sir. Come,

come, comeListen, let's get it over with.

Would it mean anything if I was

delivering pizza?

No, no, don't get up. I

just traveled over 500 miles of bad

Rd. to get here. Couldn't get in my

hotel or my house.

Had to sleep in the car. No heater. I

think I slept a couple of discs. But you

know what?It's it's worth it. You know,

just to see that grin, that welcome home,

big fella, look on your face. Oh,

it's you.

You want to refresh my memory?Is is this

exactly the way it was when MacArthur

returned to the Philippines?I wouldn't

know. I wasn't born yet. Honey,

home is the hunter, for God's sake.

Sorry, Selassen. I've got work to do.

another time okay

sir I think it's only fair that I tell

you things have changed around here since

you left things are different

I'm different so I'm putting you on

notice that if you ever beat it Charlie

oh yes sir

okay Nelly take

your best shot slap Maxwell as I live and

breathe in the flesh let me look at you

gee like hot buttered sunshine got a

sight for sore eyes oh really god it's

great to see you take a load off sit down

thanksYeah, this is more

like it after that reception I got

out there. Now what are they?Point is,

you're back. Yes, but I have to say, you

know, I missed it around here. The noise

and the hustle and the action and you.

But that's, you know, that's for another

time, I guess. Point is, I'm fit as a

fiddle. I'm raring to go. Just put me

back at the old desk and I'll. You're

what?My desk. Afraid not, compadre. No

can do. Why not?I got somebody new on the

job. The chick. Her name's Lou Harper.

That's not a sports writer out there.

That's a social experiment. Yeah, well,

that experiment is working. You know what

that is?No. It's a readership survey.

Now, I know you didn't care about

readers, but if you did, you would

be edified to regurgitate that we have

had 317 new subscriptions

in the last two weeks. Put a couple of

zeros behind those figures, and I I might

be impressed. And you know what I think

the reason is?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had

somebody in here with you. No, Lou, come

on in. I want you to meet somebody.

Lou Harper, Slot Maxwell. Well,

this is an honor.

I've heard a lot about you. What do you

got for me, Lou?I just want to make sure

this is what you're looking for. Oh,

absolutely. You know, Lou has

this great idea. Here, take a look at

this. You know we're the readers right in

on a kind of a A forum Yeah for everybody

Well we'll see might work might not but

it's worth a try It's good work Lou

Thanks You know I I meant what I

said it is an honor to meet you

You're one of the best I look forward to

working with you

What did she mean by that?That you're one

of the best?Well she exaggerates About

working with her?Perhaps she thinks you'd

make a great team. Slap

Maxwell works with no team.

Slap Maxwell works alone.

Well, that's the way you feel. That's the

way that I feel. Now, where do I sit?In

the the classified, file room, maybe out

in the hallway?

Out. Sorry. I'll just be a minute.

Out of order. Which one?All

of them. I don't believe you.

Don't bother knocking. OK. Excuse me.

Sorry. I'll be back when you're not busy.

So my place

tonight. This is extremely beautiful.

I can't believe you let Nelson stick you

in here. Nelson did not stick

me on here, believe me. Now, this is my

idea. Maxwell's last

stand. So, eight

o'clock?You must be joking. 30?

Thought you didn't have a place. Got a

car. Then get in it and drive off a

cliff. Nine o'clock sharp.

Where's something, uh.. How about tight?

Flap. I can't believe that you think

you're just going to pick up where you

left off. Oh, you want to know why I

didn't write, why I didn't call?Let's

see. Where did you leave off?Ah, yes, you

were going back with your wife, remember?

Oh, that's right, and you were engaged to

Terry and the Pirates, remember?You left

town. Yes, but the long and winding road

led me back to here. To you. And you took

a wrong turn. Hey, honey.

Look.

How about 9:30?Slap.

What?Don't you get it?What?You can't just

pretend like nothing's changed. Look

around! Doesn't all this tell you

anything?

Come on, it's just temporary. It's only

two couple of days.

Slap?

Closed for the day, OK?

Please. Lloyd, look, Mother

Nature is a cruel mistress. You're just

going to have to teach her who's boss.

Listen, Lloyd, I'm not going to tell you

again, pal. Ah, come on, let me in.

Elliot, what are you doing here?

I just wanted to welcome you back, OK if

I come in?What?

Sure it is, son. Hey! Welcome

back! How are ya?I'm fine. Yeah,

look at you. Wow!

Boy, this is neat!

Far from the madding crowd, huhJust

temporary. Great place to work. Faulkner

wrote Lightning August in a tollbooth,

you know. Really?Mm-hmmThat must have

been one of those exact change lanes, huh

Otherwise, how could he concentrate?Yeah.

Right. So how was it, your trip?Uh, the

trip was great. The trip was great. I

went all over the place. I went to my old

hometown. Yeah, Grandpa told me. Grandpa?

You know, Stan?My father?He even told me

where you stayed. Yeah?YeahWell,

you know, let me explain about that. Must

have been great staying at the VA home,

huhIs that what he told you?We've been

writing back and forth for years. It was

Mom's idea, actually. Oh.

Well, how is, uh.. how is Mom?Oh,

fine. Yeah?She was wrong, though.

About what?She thought you'd be staying

with some old girlfriend or another.

Crazy, huh

Oh. Uh, listen.

Uh, I guess I owe you some kind of an

explanation for... Running out on that

wedding night. No, you don't. We all

understood. You did?

Sure. You were busy. You had other things

on your mind, right?Anyway, Mom's

fine. Don't worry about her. Huh

Right. You don't happen to know where she

is, do you?Someplace in India.

India?That's great.

Probably ran away with some swami. No, No

she's just... Going around the world on a

vacation?Well, I guess the old tire just

keeps coming in, huhAnd rolling out.

And every time it rolls out, we lose

something.

She happened to say when she was coming

back. Sure. When hell

freezes over. Hey,

Puff. I think she was just exaggerating.

William Faulkner wrote a light in August

in a in a toll booth?Sure.

Most great American novels were written

on or near the New Jersey turnpike.

Oh, I missed our little Tay-dat-ay, you

know that?Entree new. I did,

too. Is she any good, Dutchman?

We are referring to which she?

Blue Harper. Yeah, afraid she is, my

man. Solid as a rock. She

ain't no Picasso, but she's at least a

Kandinsky. No kidding. Paints with

smooth, broad strokes.

So what do you think I ought to do?Slash

her canvas, or let her and my my best

friend Nelson, Bill Duce Krueger, walk

all over me?From the looks of her feet,

that might not be so bad.

Why don't I just put that fire out right

now?I'll keep the crowd

back. So,

exactly.

What is your game, lady?My game?

What the hell are you up to?You mean, why

do I want to work with you?

Dutchman, how about a double for the lady?

What are you thinking?You know, slab.

I got a newsflash for you. Do you know?I

am not the first woman sports writer in

the business if that's what's got your

hackles in an uproar. No, I don't care if

you're a kangaroo. Then work with me for

the good of the paper. For the good of

the paper, huhActually, that's why I

came home. To find what?A card

table in the men's room. I'll get you a

desk. There's only one desk that matters

to me. So we're at an

impasse then, I guess. Yeah, I guess so.

Unless you, unless you do the decent

thing, just pack it all in. And you

know, I've got a few connections if all

you want to do is just, you know, sit

around looking at a bunch of naked men in

locker rooms. You think that's what I

want?Pretty good way to

meet men, I guess. Of course, in this day

and age, you know, with the health thing

and everything might be a little risky.

Pretzels for the gentlemen. And the

quadruple for the lady. Put that on my

tamper. That's the part I didn't miss.

So what's the answer?To what?Whether I'm

going to drink this turpentine?About why

you're really in this business. Because

it is oil and water time. I mean, it's

it's pickles and milk, dolls and baseball

bats. And I think I can

explain a little Neve the Twain thing

with one short, poignant story.

Be my guest. Well, it

seems there was this guy named Joe

DiMaggio. You may have heard of him. He

was in love with this lady named Marilyn

Monroe. You know, sports hero,

movie queen, sleek athlete,

sex b*mb blonde, you know, real

clash of the Titans.

Somewhere along the line, Marilyn decided

to go to Korea to entertain the troops,

which is, you know, tremendous reception.

When she came home, she says, Joe, honey,

Can you imagine the feeling?Can

you imagine what it feels like for



applaud just for you?

And Joe, in a very unemotional voice,

said, Yeah,

I can imagine 75,000. Oh,

you heard the story. Yeah, I

wrote a column about it. It's a

heartbreaker. I used it to prove the

same point. It must have worked because I

I won a few awards. Ohh

Cheers.

Anytime you want to talk turkey and

not go strutting around like some

c*ck of the walk, you let me know.

You know where my desk is. Oh,

nuts. You're still awake, huhTake another

look. What is this, flannel?Uh, no, it's

cotton. Flannel makes my skin itch. It's

cozy. You want to come in?No, let's just

sit down. Yeah, just

be quiet.

HuhKeep it down.

I've got to get some sleep.

My father is not going to be happy you're

here. Dig

Bod will be just fine, honey. Trust me.

Once you get rid of that hipper

thing. You don't much care for my

dad, do you?Oh, honey, I figured that

equation out a long time ago.

Nobody Ralston. No Judy Ralston. Well, he

doesn't much care for you either. Well, I

can live with that. He was thrilled to

hear you'd split. Did you tell him I was

back?I told him you were dead. I'll tell

you what, honey. Get me some real pillows

or, yeah, get me a pillow and a blanket

and I'll just sack on right here. You

cannot stay here. Oh, honey, why does

everything have to be a fight?You bolted,

slap. Nobody knew where you were.

Nobody knew when you'd be back. Hey,

look, I was scared. OK, kid. I was

terrified. Why?

I... Do

you want to know the truth?The truth

would be swell.

I missed you, I...

I never realized I could miss anything or

anybody as much as I missed you.

It's all right, Slap.

Everything's gonna be all right. I'm

here. Don't be

afraid anymore. Okay.

Hi. Hmm

What do you know about that bimbo that

Nelson gave my desk to?

I knew it. There's something, there's

something that just doesn't ring true

about her. I want you to find out about

her. I think you should leave. What?

Just go, okay?

Don't you understand?We're talking about

a life here, my life. I don't

want her infringing on it. Lou Harper is

a nice woman, and I respect her. And we

have to drive her out of town on a rail.

Out. Well, my father comes down here with

his Magnum. Honey, we don't have time for

champagne. We got to get cracking here.

Will you just please get out of my house?

Judy, is every. Hey, bud. Little

trouble sleeping. You were supposed to be

dead. I told you. Yeah, well, the

reports of my demise were slightly

exaggerated, as you can see.

Maybe I can change that. What the hell

are you doing here?Just visiting. I

saw the old welcome mat out there. This

makes me sick. Look at you. You're a

middle-aged man with a mustache and a

cigar. This is my daughter,

my baby, and this is my house. Bud, I'll

tell you, could you be a little more

specific here?You're flailing a little. I

want you to stay away from Judy. Or?Or

I'll k*ll you. Oh, now that's immature.

But specific. Well, I happen

to think this little gal is worth

fighting for. Now. I know that's no way

for you and me to begin a relationship

but I'm sort of in

love with her you are

yes

in the sense that when a man

and a woman I pay my taxes I got my smoke

certificate what is this happening to me

but at least you have a roof over your

head get out of my house now

okay I'm history

Maybe we have another truck when they're

not overly tired.

Louise Magnilio.

Magnilio.

Elevator Jones. Of course I

remember him. Went up for a rebound and

never came down. Is that the guy?Yeah,

we're talking about the same guy.

Listen, coach, it's great reminiscent of

you. But I, hold, hold. Hey, go

away. Just use your shoe or the window,

whatever. It's a place of business here.

I'm sorry, Coach. Yes, press time.

Everything's a little tense around here.

Listen, let me, I won't take much more of

your time. I just wanted to ask you one

more question about this Frank McNeely.

Yeah. Did, do you remember if he had any

children or... A daughter,

huhYou don't remember her name by any

chance, do you?

Yeah, no no no, that that sounds right to

me, uh-huhOkay,

all right, pal, listen, uh, what can I

say, uh, but, uh, vayo con

dios. Right. All right, we'll talk

to you soon, pal. Take it easy.

Okay, Lou.

Stand up and take it like a man.