01x02 - Night Orchid

[bunniefuu]

Just a few more steps and...

Ta-da! [chuckling]

- It's an old motel.
- An amazing one.

And it is a steal.

- I'm not surprised...
- Real estate is all about

vision, Portia, and your
little lady right here

has so much. It's scary.

- Emphasis on scary.
- [scoffing]

But with paint job,
cosmetic landscaping,

and a snappy neon selfie wall...

- Hello, Selfies.
- [scoffing]

- Trippy cow skulls...
- Okay, okay.

That all sounds beautiful,
but why would anybody

want to stay here
in the middle of nowhere?

Because...

one of the most infamous
mass murders happened

at this very spot.

[cicadas buzzing]

Okay, hear me out.

The True Crime industry
brings in millions a year

and people will travel around the world

just to break into a place like this.

So imagine how much they would
pay to legit stay in one.

Little sickos like you.

Thousands.

Throw in an on-theme diner.

Serving a trapped market,

you can't get pizza or Chinese food

delivered all the way out here.
You wanna eat, you gotta hunt.

Yeah, or I can spend that
kind of money on a beautiful

winter home in Palm Springs
for us. With a pool.

[sighing]

Let me think on it.

Of course...

But I know that once
you've done your usual

market research, and you see
how famous this place is,

you'll agree we're looking
at a True Crime gold mine.

m*rder's where the money's at, girl.

So people would...

pay to come and stay at a place
where a m*ssacre took place?

- Oh, big bucks.
- Oodles of it. Guaranteed.

[dramatic music]

- No! Floyd!
- Oh, my God!

- Everything we own is in there!
- Everything!

- What are we gonna do?!
- [crying]

- It was our only way out.
- Where the hell's the car?

It's in the shop! We only got
the SUV until Monday.

- Are you kidding me?
- You insisted that we come in

- in that g*dd*mn limousine...
- As part of the experience!

We weren't foreseeing somebody
would m*rder a guest!

- Who are they gonna k*ll next?
- Okay, we didn't k*ll anyone!

So let's go in the motel! Now!

Well, someone did. In there!

And I, for one, ain't dying today.

You wanna figure out what's going on?

Then what we need to do
is to get inside. Now!

[murmuring]

Okay, let's go.

[suspenseful music]

[theme music]

All I'm asking is for everybody
to keep their heads about them.

Portia and I are handling this.

How do we know you didn't
k*ll Hemmingway?

And burn the RV?

You strand us here...

and then you pick us off one by one.

In what world would that make sense?

We are business women.

We have spent $700,000
renovating this place.

Not to mention what it cost
to buy the motel.

So we're not going to piss away
our life savings

and ruin our lives in the process.

Maybe not you.

But you,

I'm not so sure.

Yeah, me neither.

Why me?

Oh, right. Let me guess,
my makeup, how I dress...

No. Because you're obsessed
with murders that happened here.

Yeah, girl, I'm a connoisseur
of slaughter.

You're a wannabe.

You wanna relive it all
just a little too much.

And none of you want to? Really?

Every single one of you

wanted a piece of True Crime history.

And that is what we delivered.

Total access to the most famous
m*rder site in history.

On our dime.

[whispering]: I can't believe
how ungrateful you all are.

[chuckling] The bullying,

the finger-pointing.

One of your guests was cooked
to death on your watch.

- [Adriana]: Exactly!
- So thank you so much

for the invite, but I want to check out.

- Preach!
- And if they're going,

- I'm going too.
- Yeah, me too.

- Sounds like a good plan.
- Okay, I just want to put

this in people's heads.

I've hunted this state
the last ten years...

and it's serious.

There's black bear all over.

And around here, you got
grey wolf and mountain lion.

And this weather's no joke.

Five minutes out there
and you'll be soaked

to your skin. Walk through
the woods at night...

if the wildlife don't k*ll ya,
hypothermia will.

You're a hunter.

- Yeah, my whole life.
- [Crow scoffs]

Normally, I would bow to you

letting your primal impulse loose,

- but given the circumstances...
- Never boiled my prey to death.

But how are we supposed to know that?

Listen, fella. Where I come from,

you call someone a m*rder*r,
you better back it up.

Prove me wrong, big guy.

Okay, let's all just...

let's all just calm down.
[clearing throat]

Let's calm down. Okay?

Everybody go back to your rooms,
lock your doors...

We'll bed down for the night
and by the morning,

Portia and I will have a plan
for how we can get help.

- That sounds sensible.
- I'm going to the kitchen...

- fix myself some food.
- Yeah, help yourself

- to whatever you want.
- Yeah, I'm also gonna help

myself to a knife.

I suggest everybody else
do the same thing.

I don't think arming everyone
will make anybody safer.

Look. If I've learned one thing

from personal experience?

Crazy murderers like these,
they never stop at just one.

[footsteps leaving]

[whispering]: What the hell?

[whispering]: I know!

You didn't stew that chef, did you?

It's not my handiwork

But someone beat us to him.

Good news is, they'll pin the RV
on whoever k*lled that prick.

Nice work on your talk about
the wilderness and the weather.

Yeah, well, you gotta
explain it to these

city-bred morons that they can't
just, you know,

saunter 45 miles to safety.

One of those people k*lled the chef.

It's hard to believe
that anyone from that pack

of spoiled pussies pulled it off.

Crow or...

Kawayan might be capable.

The wacky spiritual guy and the artists?

[chuckling]

Though, I wouldn't put it
past that freak Ruby

- who runs the place.
- Ugh, I don't know.

Portia seems too... put together
to be shacked up with a k*ller.

- Well, someone did it.
- And the bigger question is why?

Kids have been dressing up as us
for Halloween for years.

[suspenseful music]

Maybe we have a copycat.

Or...

maybe we have a real
Satanist in our midst.

You really think so?

Someone who understands the portents

behind the timing of all this,

and wants to complete
the ritual for Baphomet.

- A ritual we started.
- Yeah.

Whoever it is,
we need to flush them out.

We cannot fail again.

The gateway must be opened
to release Baphomet.

- We should just go and...
- k*ll them all, right now.

Mm-mm-mm. Patience. Patience, my love.

The blood must be spilled
as we move along Saturn's

orbital period, marking its path, yeah?

Spill it all at once or too soon,

and the blood loses its magik.

It won't have the power
to open the gate.

We don't have another 30 years to wait

for Saturn's return, so...

this must be perfect.

Okay.

We'll figure out who's trying
to steal our thunder and then

We'll make them pay with their life.

[whispering]: Yeah.

- Slow...
- [moaning]

[suspenseful music] [pots clanging]

Someone knows how to use a knife.

Someone had to.

Right, you already popped
your mass m*rder cherry.

That's not a joke.

I never joke about serial K*llers.

Why don't we room together?

Why would we do that?

Safety in numbers?

Do you trust me? [Blake scoffing]

I trust you.

I mean, it couldn't hurt,
rooming with someone

who has already survived
something like this.

I just... I figure I have
a better chance of making it out

alive with you by my side...

[hammering rain]

[nervous breathing]

It's a crime scene, so...

I guess we should lock up down here...

Right.

Do you think the m*rder*r... like,

the original m*rder*r has come back?

- To finish what he started?
- Well, I don't know.

I mean, did we make this happen
by re-opening the motel?

No.

[sighing loudly] I promise you.

Let's get this done fast,
we'll go back to our room,

lock our doors, we'll cuddle
our way to tomorrow. Okay?

Oh, God.

We can't just leave him like that.

We need to at least try
and get him someplace cool.

Maybe the walk-in fridge?

I don't think I can.

- We got this.
- We can do anything... together.

[sighing]

Okay. How are we gonna
get him to the kitchen?

Guess we... pull him out of here.

Maybe put him on, like,
a yoga mat and carry him

the rest of the way?

Sure.

Oh, God... [groaning]

[skin squelching]

- Oh, God.
- [Portia gagging]

- Oh, God! No, no!
- Portia!

[sighing]

[hammering rain]

[floor creaks]

Andy.

Shouldn't you be in your room?

I mean, I guess you could
say the same for me,

but I will not starve to death.

[thunder cracking]

You okay?

Ah...

I guess...

writing about True Crime isn't
the same as being in it, right?

You think we're gonna make it?

I know this feels really far away

from your regular life,

but, Andy...

you were built for this.

It's in your ancestral bones.

You were the son of generations
of survivors.

Yeah. Take a breath with me.

[inhaling]

Yeah, that's it.

Now, what I want you to do
is I want you to breathe

in your ancestors who fought,

and who struggled, and who survived

to get us to this point.

Their genes made us
the men we are today.

We're lucky to be here.

We're lucky to have
survived to this point.

And honestly,

even in all this madness and challenge,

I'm glad I'm here with you right now.

Thanks.

[sighing]

You have, um, quite the gift.

How are you so calm?

I mean, aren't you even a little afraid?

Of course,

but I'm deeply interested in
things that we look away from.

That includes fear.

Helps in moments like this.

Whenever life gets scary,
I walk purposefully towards it.

[scoffing]

I hope...

some of whatever you have
is rubbing off on me, Crow.

[thunder booming]

[sighing]

This is probably the best
sandwich I've ever had.

It's soy sauce. It turns mayo
into super mayo.

Wow. Okay, yeah.

So now that you're feeling
all full and happy

and appreciating my culinary secrets...

do you think you could
tell me a little bit

about The Sigma Die k*ller?

[sighing]

The m*rder you're part of now,
it's not enough for you?

- Okay... fine.
- Had to ask, but I get it.

Okay, so,
why don't you ask me something?

Anything you want.

You really travel all over
the world just

to bang these guys behind bars?

I do.

It's one of the perks of being
a flight attendant.

I can bang a k*ller on every continent.

[chuckling nervously]

Like this one time,
I was on a layover in Berlin.

And I met up with this guy,

Roland Lucas.

He's a m*rder*r
who just got out, and this guy,

like the German cliché,
which as far as I can tell

is 100 % accurate...

He was kinky.

He had me all chained up.

Wait? Like actual chains?

Oh, yeah, they're way better
than ropes, there's no give.

So, he had me all chained up,

arms in the air, totally exposed.

[stammering]: And...

you weren't like,
scared or anything like that?

Oh, no. I was f*cking terrified,

but you know what?

[whispering]: It turned me on.

- Yeah?
- [whispering]: A lot.

Fear and sex

are not so far apart.

[chuckling nervously]

[chuckling]

H-Hey, um...

thanks for that pep talk.

Hey, it's brave to be vulnerable.

And thank you for trusting me enough

to share what you're going through.

Do you wanna hang out?

I swiped a big bag of almonds

that I probably shouldn't eat alone.

I mean, it would pair
really well with this, uh...

bottle of red.

Andy.

I'm gonna make a run for it into town.

I'm gonna get us some help.

- In this storm?
- Doesn't sound like a good idea.

- [thunder cracking]
- I think I can make it.

With the work I do,
I've logged many hours

in extreme weather. Heat, cold,
I'm used to suffering.

Okay, but, I mean, you heard that guy.

There's bears, there's mountain lions.

I can't just sit here and do nothing.

I will go crazy.

[sighing]

It says it's the most
waterproof coat on the market.

Thank you.

Stay safe.

[hammering rain]

[thunder cracking]

[ominous music]

[distant coughing]

Who is that?

[footsteps in the distance]

Can't see who it is exactly,

but one of our little lambs
is getting away.

Like hell they are.

We need nine sacrifices
to open that portal.

Can I k*ll this as*h*le?

And I'll do some
reconnaissance of my own.

Be careful.

For all we know,
this could be our k*ller.

I've never bagged me a k*ller before.

That's a big offering for Baphomet.

[roaring thunder, heavy rain]

[howling wind]

[door opening]

[door closing]

[soft eerie music]

- [clicking tongue]
- That was...

Foul?

Sad?

[sighing]

I will get one of the others
to help me tomorrow.

You're gonna be okay?

Just wanna sleep.

Sleep 'til this is all over
and the police get here.

You should.

I took a Benzo.

Good.

I'm sorry for making you do that.

You didn't want to and I should've...

We should've never bought this place.

Portia.

Come on, this was our dream.

No!

No, this was your dream.

And I never should have
bankrolled your sick,

perverted nightmare.

This is an awful moment,

but it is one tiny stumbling block.

Stumbling block?

His arm fell off like
an overcooked joint of meat.

But that is what this place
is all about, right?

- And you love it for it.
- I love the story.

No, you love all of it!

Your grotesque obsession with m*rder

and the poor people who died here.

I think that you're happy
that they died.

Of course I'm not.

And now you have some
new victim to fangirl over.

It's just...

your obsessions, Ruby.
They repulse me. You repulse me!

[thunder rumbling]

[Ruby clearing throat]

[Portia whimpering]

I'm sorry, okay,
I shouldn't have said that.

It's not you, it's just...
it's this place.

No.

You meant every last word.

And you don't get to try
and smooth that over now!

[muffled voice]: You don't get
to pretend that everything

we have been building
is suddenly perverted

and disgusting!

[Ruby screaming]: I am so tired of being

your little fix-it project!

I'm so tired of never living up

to your holier-than-thou standards!

So you can go screw yourself, Portia!

[door opening] You know what?

Better yet,
paint a target on your chest,

you let that murdering b*stard
try and find your heart.

And rip it straight out of you.

[panting]

[growling]

[snarling]

Don't move.

Stand still.

[growling]

- [barking, growling]
- Shh...

You run and that beast
will run you down.

He'll be eating your liver
before you get

back up to the top of this road.

You gotta stand your ground
and scare it off.

[barking]

Move on, you b*stard!

Get out of here! Move on. Git! Hey!

[breathing heavily]

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

[exhaling deeply]

Y-You can just keep that.

Jumpy bugger, aren't you?

What are you doing out here?

I'd ask the same about you.

I'm going to get us help.

You're gonna become a chew toy.

Which is why I told everyone else

to wait until at least sunrise.

I guess I forgot the part
where I take orders from you.

So what's your real name?

Don't say Crow because that is
some made up Indian bullcaca.

I only got your first name.

Floyd Dantree.

- So what's yours?
- You got an ID, Floyd Dantree?

[laughing]

I lost it in the RV fire.

That's convenient.

You suspect me of something?

I suspect everybody...

except Hemmingway.

So you and your wife,
you just show up...

at some out of the way,
hole in the wall motel

that you apparently don't know about?

And some mysterious fire
destroys your RV?

Yeah, I suspect that a bunch
and you would too,

so why don't you tell me
what you're really doing here?

[suspenseful music]

How about I show you?

[Andy]: Crow!

Crow! Where are you?

Guess I didn't have to worry.
Didn't know you'd have company.

Yeah, no. There's nothing
to worry about.

Well, the wolf he just
ran into says otherwise.

Mother Nature.

She can be one mean, dangerous b*tch.

Okay, you saw one wolf?

There'll probably be others
nearby. We should go.

No, no, no. I'm not gonna sit
on my hands in that motel, Andy.

Look, can you talk some sense
into him for me?

That's what I came out here to do.

If he insists on this
foolishness, I just,

well, can't let him go
on this track alone.

I ain't that kind of guy.

I... guess it can wait 'til morning.

Good man. Sane man.

[thunder booming]

[moaning]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- [mumbling incoherently]

- What? You don't want it?
- I do, I do. I just...

feels like we're moving a little
bit too fast. Don't you think?

With like Hemmingway...

Oh, Hemmingway just reminds me
that life is short.

You know that better than anyone, right?

And when you know what you want,

why should you wait for it?

[scoffing] And what I really,

really want...

I think I know what you want.

...is to see your scars.

What?

- Whoa, whoa, um...
- You don't have to be

embarrassed, you don't have to
hide anything from me, Blake...

I'm not, I'm not. It's just, I...

Why do you want to see them?

[sighing]

Oh, my Gosh.

[Blake chuckling nervously]

- Now take this off.
- Um, okay...

Take this off.

[soft music]

Oh, my God.

[Blake breathing loudly]

You were sliced and diced...

X-Acto knife?

It's a poker... fireplace poker.

Mm-hmm...

Now, back to that other thing I want.

- Yeah?
- [moaning]

I got a feeling you want it too.

[chuckling]

- [metal clinking]
- Oh, uh...

No way. [Adriana laughing]

No, no, no. I...

I don't think so. Also, I don't
know if now's the right time...

for something like that. You...

There's a m*rder*r
out in the halls and...

Really?

Oh, Jesus...

[handcuff clicking]

Okay...

Look.

Locked.

Okay...

Locked.

- Okay...
- Both locked.

You're safe.

Well...

safe as you want to be.

[metal clinking]

[both sighing]

Okay... Okay...

Okay.

[handcuff clicking]

Yeah... [both chuckling]

Who's my good boy?

[chuckling]

[both moaning]

[soft music swelling]

[music becomes ominous]

Uh... put that away.

But I like it...

No. Put it away, put it away.

It's fine, what are you so afraid of?

No, no. Unlock the cuffs.

Shh, shh, calm down.

Don't worry about it, you're safe.

- No, no, unlock the cuffs.
- Unlock the f*cking cuffs!

[breathing loudly]

[Blake]: Jesus...

God! [shouting]

[angry grunting]

Thought this was an art installation,

not a performance art piece.

This? This is all sh*t.

I thought it looked pretty damn good.

Soda?

[thunder cracking]

[cans cracking open]

Cheers.

Cheers.

[scoffing]

I've spent my entire career
translating these horrors

into visual, visceral media,

but all this time,
I've been nothing but a hack.

Come on, why are you saying that?

Seeing actual m*rder,
up close and personal?

What I was doing was just play acting.

You're being too hard on yourself.

No way. You saw Hemmingway,

you saw his body.

That's what m*rder is.
That was the real deal.

Everything I do, it's just a photocopy.

Maybe you need to try
your hand at m*rder.

What I'm saying is...

if you need to invest yourself
in your art,

that might be your only option.

Or you can just try changing your oeuvre

to something less... bloody.

Do you think you can do that?
k*ll someone?

In the heat of the moment? Sure.

We all have a k*ller hiding within us.

[ominous music]

[rain pattering]

Ah!

Jesus! You gave me a heart attack.

Could've been a lot worse.

You should be in your room,
doors locked.

Yeah, look who's talking.

Crow here thought he could
walk 12 plus hours to get help.

Full-on savior complex, this guy.

- I'm going to bed.
- Yeah, me too. I'm beat,

and Shirl's probably worried.
Good night.

And sleep with the angels.

I trust that guy about
as far as I can throw him.

- Who? That good ol' boy?
- And his machete.

We're all carrying weapons.

I get that.

I'm a real good reader
of people, Andy, and that guy?

With his glaring eyes
and his tough guy stance.

That guy's a k*ller. Trust me.

I'll admit he gives off weird vibes.

But he could've k*lled us both
out there if he wanted,

returned to the motel, no one the wiser.

He's biding his time
until he can pull off

something Hemmingway level awful.

And you know what that means?

The rest of us,
we have to stay on guard.

We have to stick together.

[sinister music]

Floyd?

What are you doing out there?

And in your outdoor things?

Hope you wiped off all that mud.

Because if you damage any of the wood,

you'll be charged for it.

[footsteps receding]

Her soul must be dispatched to hell.

Not in the middle of
the g*dd*mn hallway, Floyd.

[scoffing] I swear,

left to your own devices...

[door opening]

[wind howling]

Portia, sweetheart...

can we talk?

You're not the only one that
said things she shouldn't have.

I'm sorry for all of it.

Portia?

Love?

[breathing loudly]

[murmuring]

- Stupid! Stupid!
- [groaning] Idiot!

Argh! You did not treat
viper venom in yak meat,

slay dragons to back off
to that motherfu...

[thunder roaring] I cannot stay here!

I cannot stay here cooped up!
It's unsafe!

[muffled shouting]: I gotta go!

Tell me that wasn't amazing?

[sighing]

Tell me that wasn't the hottest,

craziest sex you've ever
had in your entire life.

That was... something.

- [chuckling]
- That was everything.

[sighing]

- Hey, can you do the other...
- the other hand?

Yeah, I guess, since you've
been such a good boy.

- Thank you.
- And...

You're free. So here's a question

that's definitely on my mind,

who do think's gonna bite
the b*llet next?

Uh...

Really rather not think about that.

Well, you should,

because if we don't figure out
who the k*ller is,

he or she, will strike again.

And we want to make sure
we're out of here

or safe before they call our number.

So? Who do you think it's gonna be?

I... don't know...

- Oh, I got another question.
- Who do you want it to be?

No one?

Look, I know, after
everything you've been through

that life is precious and all that,

but come on, you're human.

There's gotta be someone who you wish

meets the chewing end of a chainsaw.

You could totally k*ll someone
here and get away with it.

I mean, you could just do it and then

blame the psycho m*rder*r, right?

- Um...
- So? Who would that be?

Okay, so for me...

I think it would be Prissy Paige.

- Yeah?
- I did kind of like

the first Doomed Service,
and she was okay in it.

But if I'm honest? Each sequel
was worse than the last,

and that was because
of how grating she was.

Always running and crying
and being all self-righteous.

I mean, it's boring.

And her sex scenes, my God!

She screws like someone
who's never seen a d*ck.

[chuckling] Yeah.

Yeah, we k*ll her...

and then once we're out of here,
safe and sound...

we translate all the fame and fortune

into another book for you,

and an acting career for me.

I could play Caitlyn
in the next Doomed Service.

Or actually, no,
I should just play myself.

I'm more badass, definitely sexier.

People would eat me up.

[suspenseful music]

What do you think? Wanna be famous?

That was messed up.

- [chuckling]
- Come on,

- I'm just playing what if.
- Yeah, about murdering

an innocent woman who hasn't
done a thing to you.

Okay, it doesn't have to be her.

We could save her for last.

[Blake laughing nervously]

Yeah, Paige's death
would have to be poetic.

A has-been actor, how do we k*ll them?

Replace a prop knife with a real knife.

Oh, no, I know! [laughing]

I know, Blake!
We cram all her bad reviews

down her throat!

[Blake laughing nervously]

What? Blake, I'm joking! Jesus.

Are you?

Yes!

Aw, Blake. Jesus.

Aw...

I'm not a monster, I'm misunderstood.

That was fun.

[door closing]

p*ssy. Ugh.

[ominous music]

[stabbing, blood squelching]

[muffled gurgling]

[decor clinking on table]

Do we even need that?

I mean, I can just set us up
on a texting system instead.

It's the actual bell they had
here the night of the murders.

Uh, you didn't tell me that.

No... because you'd get all freaked out.

I want you to be happy
and enjoy what we're doing.

Because what we're doing, babe?

Starting the next chapter
of our lives together.

I would just enjoy the weekend
so much more

if our closest neighbors
weren't hours away.

All the best horror
takes place in isolation.

Evil Dead, Cabin In The Woods...

- The Shining.
- [Ruby gasping]

Wow, the Portia I met
and fell in love with

would've thought the shining was
just some kind of yoga retreat.

[chuckling]

Trust me, this is good.

I trust you with my life.

[car honking]

Our guests are here.

[suspenseful music swelling]

[dripping]

Portia, do you hear that?

[steady dripping]

[Ruby groaning]

Portia?

[dripping continues]

It's been raining like cats and dogs.

There must be a leak somewhere.

[dripping continues]

Portia?

[screaming]

Help!

Help!

[screaming] Help!