Desierto (2015)

[bunniefuu]

Father...

where are you?

Father...

speak to me.

I have water for you here, Yeshua.

That's what your mother

calls you, isn't it?

Any name that's good enough for Mary

is good enough for me.

And what does your father call you?

Yeshua.

Hello?

I'm looking for water. I can work for it.

- What can you do?

- Whatever's needed.

You're building up here.

I know carpentry and stone.

- Where are you headed?

- Jerusalem, but I'm a little lost.

Where are you coming from?

From spending time in the desert.

Why? There's nothing here.

What is Jerusalem like?

Dirty and corrupt.

But also alive. Very alive.

- Do you have a father?

- Yes. He's out.

- He'll ask me if I offered you food.

- That's not necessary.

Thank you.

Stay. Please. Rest for a while.

Talking to your father

is like talking to a rock.

He's so busy with his little things,


the shape of a drop of dew,

the sound roots make breaking

their way through the ground.

Everything matters more to him than you.

No.

My father loves me.

He is amused by you.

He loves himself only.

Are you lost?

No.

Are you one of those preachers?

Looking for something here in the desert

that you can't find anywhere else?

How long have you been out here, holy man?

Since the last full moon.

Maybe a little longer.

Alone?

No. You people are never alone.

Some spirit or something

is always with you, isn't it?

Tell me one thing you've learned out here,

and I'll offer you shelter for the night.

- Oh, that's not necessary.

- Please. It would give me pleasure.

Man makes do anywhere.

Because he is man.

Good.

Give me a hand with this.

Thank you.

- There's no need to wait for her.

- I don't mean to offend, but I'm fasting.

What is it?

She thinks it's funny

that she wants to eat but can't...

and our guest, who can, won't.

What are you building up there?

A house for me to live in.

My father wants me to stay here.

To help him make something of this place.

Is that what you want?

What is it that you want?

I want to go to Jerusalem.

And I want to see the sea.

And I want to see

the lighthouse at Alexandria.

And does your father know that?

No.

Why don't you talk to him about it?

I've seen Jerusalem.

I've walked away without my father

knowing and I've seen it from a ridge.

It shines in the sun and I want it

so much, I could scream.

I don't want to waste my time here.

Wasting life is a sin.

I want to leave my footprint on the world.

Come, holy man.

Oh, this isn't necessary.

I can sleep outside.

No. She won't bother you.

Rabbi?

Rabbi.

I've committed a horrible sin.

My son is not my husband's son.

I don't want to die...

and leave this lie behind me.

I don't want my son trapped here forever.

Help me, please.

In your holy man comings-and-goings...

have you learned any medicine?

Cures are the only things worth seeking.

For pain... suffering.

The rest is just...

This boy is good

at taking care of the sick.

He's had practice, unfortunately.

If he had come into this world somewhere

else, he could have made it his life's work.

And what did you want for yourself

when you were a boy?

I wanted to raise livestock...

and be a butcher, like my father.

He never taught me any of it, though.

He said it had taken him years and years

to master the skill on his own,

and he wasn't just going to give it away.

"Every man must make himself."

I heard that a thousand times.

He was a selfish man.

And he died alone.

What does your father do?

Ask for permission

when you address a guest, boy.

That's all right. We spoke some yesterday.

My father's a carpenter.

Smart man.

A man who is good at work like that

can always provide for his children.

And did you want to be a carpenter also

when you were a boy?

Your good intentions will be wasted here.

They don't need us to ruin their lives.

They'll do that all by themselves.

Do you know what I do

when they're finally mine?

I have them watch the life they've lived

over and over again. Forever.

Oh, what anger.

You are your father's son.

Very well. I'll stay out of it.

Surprise me.

- And if I do?

- A wager?

If you can solve

this entanglement, this knot...

to the satisfaction of the mother,

the father and the child,

I'll stay out of your way

for the rest of your journey home.

And if I fail?

Failure is its own punishment.

- That's Daddy talk.

- Enough for the day.

This is all just an excuse

to delay your departure, isn't it?

Because you're scared to go on.

Scared out of your head.

You're not ready and you know it.

Here.

What part of a bird doesn't fly?

It's a riddle.

What part of a bird doesn't fly?

I don't know.

Its shadow.

- Did you make that up?

- Yes.

It's good.

Yes.

I want the boy to learn a trade.

There's plenty for him

to learn right here.

Any trade that he wants.

Or that you want for him.

In Jerusalem, perhaps.

I want this very much.

I would need money for that.

Just to get him set up and started.

No one will take him

as an apprentice without payment.

For food, at least.

Impossible.

You are...

a powerful...

resourceful...

beautiful man...

and you will find a way.

I know it.

I cannot do my dying while he's here.

My father was 47 when he had me.

My mother was 20.

He had another wife before her,

but she died.

And now my mother will die too.

And my father says

a man makes his own luck.

No.

What did he do to make two wives die?

Nothing.

I agree with you.

Do you have a wife or children?

Do you plan to?

Well, you never know, right?

- Have you ever sailed on a boat?

- Yes, I have.

- Is it scary?

- It can be terrifying.

But mostly it's thrilling.

My father sailed on a boat once.

He said he got caught in a storm at sea.

He said it was a nightmare.

Everything outside of our world

is scary to him.

My father says once my mother

is buried here that we cannot leave.

He says a grave ties a man

to the land forever.

Do you think I'm selfish

because I don't want to live here?

No.

My father has lived here his whole life...

and he's lived it the way he wanted to.

But now it's my turn. Men take turns.

I am not a bad son.

I'm not.

I am not a bad son!

I am not a bad son!

I'm not a bad son!

I am not a bad son!

Rabbi?

Rabbi!

It hurts.

I want it to be over.

I'm not afraid of death.

I'm only scared of being alone

when I get there.

You will not be alone.

None of us is alone.

Find better words, Yeshua.

You must work at that.

Intention is good, but...

often the words are hollow and useless.

Or better still...

find an action.

Yes.

Action over words. Always.

Otherwise, silence.

You think you are his only child?

There are others.

No.

There is only me.

There is only me.

Look in on your mother.

Did the boy speak with you

when you went to the water?

A little.

I don't know how to talk to him.

The words get caught in my throat.

I fight to push them through

and they come out harsh.

I suppose he thinks I'm angry at him.

He doesn't know me...

and I don't know him.

Any words of advice, holy man?

Talk to him about something

that he's interested in.

What is he interested in?

Riddles.

He makes up a very good riddle.

I don't like riddles.

That sh**ting star last night.

You enjoyed that.

- It was a bore.

- Liar.

I am a liar. That is the truth.

I've seen every sh**ting star

since the first one.

Every flash of lightning.

I've heard the last gasp

of each thing that ever lived.

Nothing's interesting anymore.

Nothing surprises you? Not a thing?

The repetitiveness.

The obstinate, dull repetitiveness of your

father's plan is bewildering to me.

The same lives lived over

and over and over and over again.

Is there a plan?

It all has to turn into something, it has to

pour out into something, but into what?

And that's my weakness...

curiosity.

But I'll stay as long

as it takes, forever...

to witness the end.

The final sunset. If there is one.

Maybe on that day,

late in the afternoon, seconds away,

he'll want to start it all over again...

from the beginning.

He's done it before. Recreated

the whole thing, retold the whole thing.

On a whim. With little differences

that must mean the world to him,

a branch that crooks

in a different direction,

one egg more or less

in the nest of a flea.

What a self-centered...

self-indulgent creature he is. Isn't he?

Deaf-mute. Insatiable.

These things he expects of you.

Do you think anyone will care?

Men of 1,000 years from now?

What's it like to be in his presence?

Is there a face?

No.

There is no face.

There is no face.

There's a thing that swallows you.

It holds you together while it's

tearing you apart and it's terrifying.

It makes you feel worthless...

and it makes you want to be worthless.

And all the while, it makes you believe

that you and he are one and the same...

That... that is...

Well, that can be quite confusing.

That's how I remember it, anyway.

It's been a million years since he

so much as looked in my direction.

- Your pride made him angry.

- I'm not proud. I am not proud.

He's the proud one.

- How's our little wager going?

- I do not wager.

Oh, dear me, course not.

- What?

- You already know the outcome, don't you?

- No. Not at all.

- Yes. Yes, you do.

I am able to do that generally, yes.

But when it comes to you

and your little things, not always.

I could tell you what would've happened if

you'd passed by this place a moment earlier.

Would you like to know?

The boy would not have met you.

After the mother's death,

his relationship

with the father deteriorates.

He puts up with it for several years,

expecting that the father will not live long.

Eventually, he poisons the father

and is hanged for it.

Along the way, the boy

has a son who remains here.

Like the grandfather, he loves the desert.

That's how it would have been this time.

In previous tellings of the world,

it was all a little different.

Sometimes it was nothing but love

between the father and the son.

That's how your father amuses himself.

Now it's your turn to take a hand.

Can you do any better?

Why do you live here?

Because the desert is ruthless.

It strips you of your vanities,

your illusions, and...

gives you the opportunity

to see yourself for who you are.

Isn't that why you're here?

Because your god speaks louder here?

God speaks wherever a man wants to listen.

What I said to you about my son...

It doesn't matter that we don't talk.

We're not women.

A father talks through example.

He's the best boy in the world.

Too good, perhaps.

Do you see that?

The smooth rock jutting out.

- Just below the crack there.

- The reddish rock?

Yes. That's Jasper stone. I'm sure of it.

I need a sample to take to market.

- I would share any profits with you.

- No, that wouldn't be necessary.

I can't in good conscience allow you

to do more work for nothing.

If you don't want the money,

you give it to the poor.

How would you go about it?

It would take three people.

Two to lower the third.

Yes, that's right.

You and I would lower the boy.

Just to pick at the rock.

And if it's all that I think it is,

I will return with laborers and dig deep.

It could change the course of our lives.

The boy's life, anyway.

I feel better.

You do? Good. That's good.

My mother had this when she was my age.

And then she was fine.

My father, my sisters and I...

once spent a night in Jaffa.

Did I tell you this already?

Tell me again.

My father's cousin put us up by the port.

I could barely sleep...

with the sounds of the city...

dogs barking...

music from a wedding...

men quarreling...

a pig brought to slaughter...

a drunk woman laughing.

And the smells...

pepper, cedar wood...

garum.

If you're ever there...

you think of me.

Yes. I will.

I took her to doctors,

brought doctors to her.

Magicians, quacks. I tried them all.

She's going to die, holy man.

There is nothing to be done about her.

When her eyes close for the last time...

our whole world will come

to an end forever.

It's stunning, isn't it?

That life ends.

You will meet again.

We will have been here together.

And we leave the boy behind.

That'll have to do.

How far can a man walk into the desert?

Only halfway.

After that, he's walking out.

When you leave,

you could take me with you.

I could pass for your son.

That would be believable, wouldn't it?

Believable, yes, but nevertheless a lie.

But a lie that wouldn't hurt anyone.

My mother and father

wouldn't be there to hear it.

A lie hurts the person who tells it.

You could adopt me.

That way it wouldn't be a lie.

The Romans do it all the time,

adopt each other.

Have you found what you

were looking for out here?

Yes. Yes, I have.

What were you looking for?

I was looking for a place to reflect

and to pray in peace.

A place to look inward and to find myself.

I walk out there, too.

Sometimes when I'm out there,

I feel this thing rising inside of me,

that I am everything

and that everything is me.

That I will always be alive. Forever.

And it's very conceited,

I know, to feel that way.

I'm ashamed of that feeling.

Some wine, holy man?

No. Thank you.

Boy. Boy.

You are an easy target.

Because you're weak.

- How's your mother doing?

- She's feeling better.

She thinks it's passing.

Take your knife, boy.

Just in case.

If I had fallen behind like that,

my father would have caned me

on the soles of my feet.

Come.

I am stronger than 10 men...

and I am taller than 10 men,

but a boy can carry me.

What am I?

It's a riddle.

I am stronger than 10 men,

I'm longer than 10 men,

and a boy can carry me.

What am I?

A rope.

It's a rope.

Come.

Come.

Do you see that piece of rock?

The holy man and I

will lower you with rope.

All you have to do is chisel out a piece

and we'll pull you back up.

No.

No. I'm not going down there.

You will.

No. You know I'm afraid

of falling from high places.

That is precisely why you will do it.

I will not do it!

I'm not going down there!

You will not disobey me.

You will regret it.

He knows I'm scared to death of heights.

What kind of father asks me to do this?

Please. Please, let him go.

Let him go. I can go down.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

I will go down myself.

Do you think it can be done?

Just you and the boy to hold the ropes?

Yes.

Boy!

Cut yourself from the rope.

You too, holy man.

I'll only drag you over if I slip again.

No!

What is it?

What is it? What is it?

I don't want my mother

to see him like this.

He looks so much smaller now, doesn't he?

You are a good son.

Your son loves you.

Your son loves you.

Your son loves you.

He is your son and he loves you.

Am I expected to just walk away now?

As if I'd never met these people?

As if they mean nothing to me?

Mother!

Mother!

Go.

Please, go.

If I leave here without a blessing,

I won't make it one night out there.

A boy needs his father's permission

to become a man.

It's perverse, isn't it?

Love God above all things.

Love life.

Show me his destiny.

- Yeshua...

- Show me now!

You could have pulled the father up

and seven heavier men if you'd wanted to.

That's nonsense.

No. She's mine!

No.

Who the hell do you think you are?

This is it for me.

You didn't think I was going

to walk you all the way, did you?

Why here?

My feet hurt.

I'll come to you in the end.

And if you give me a sign

I'll help you down...

and you can stay.

Give my regards to the old man.