Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x01 - Rocksalt

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dear Green Place". Aired: 19 October 2007 – 5 December 2008.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Scottish comedy programme set in a park in central Glasgow.

01x01 - Rocksalt

Post by bunniefuu »

mr. doose date

for for August

I'm gonna do my cellphone

Faramir not morning oh well we'll run

that tube for the exhaust rate and

through the one day a few deep breaths

then I'll be come to the light

everything you need go it there and then

the poor Depeche all right fair enough

anyhow this is a party poured water out

from inviting me alright so as

I mean what do we brought up in the kids

fun days with this dog shape of course

and unless it's sex that's what you get

in these less fade or clout and that is

repackages and High Court judge you

slating the bit there if she's looking

to get Paul I mean what's the point -

evict eats that's hope land Rangers must

provide patrons with a visible presence

at all times but does need pizzas there

so we're settling here right when we're

supposed to be they're looking for

patrons who only here to look back to us

and see hello we all know they're and

neither are they but that tashi why

could expect such nor to be set and then

here but to be there and the passion

mean meeting and greeting people were

only here doesn't it do their course

doesn't he buddy there that's why we are

setting then he asked Ivan ignored the

orders attack Tashi wine cup trashy

right a little mr. Henderson

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

no way man ha ha phe get it AG I am NOT

savvy styler watch Honda with us but

that pain a milk and french clearly had

my name on it

yeah well if it's backing me up before

o'clock this afternoon

I won't take them out no further 25 lewd

and libidinous I expect patootie Dark

Angel properly you want to appear purty

that to me in English

shagging anniversaries I'll tell ya I'm

love picking up an email Johnny bikes

like on my new overalls of course feel

sick you can be suggested the VIP had a

little buttocks love doing one leg and

then the other on it just try to help me

shut up the overalls are on the way

okay nope if you do support any sexual

deviants very good if you do see black

cane the behavior report it immediately

why I'm Wallace condoms I often watch

your feather at one month all right

lakyn an eager young Wallace here they

are pale a seaman is contender for food

third of the week

Thank You Brendan Wallace has been a

switch to the shared your visa vie your

park ranger training so this afternoon

you'll be embarking on module 3 just get

yourself dinner at borough hall and see

a must've torn off recession on rocks

all right Claire oh I reopen McAllister

looking forward to another fantastic

week UCD in Irvine boys just do not jury

for the council like as real and Rangers

see sky vyas and perpetual oddity

[Music]

[Music]

you up to what your lies tashi Henderson

eek EE Tom Selleck eek EE the ball bag

no flowers no sadly mask he leaves the

delighted weather was already moved on a

flea baton Jack Russell a secret stash a

g*y porn no no no no no that's no baby

yeah well that's in here lies tashi

victim of chance hurt by a shovel so

feel free to dance

[Laughter]

take it was rumbled no chance nice the

way hey oh they're at their ease makes

me Doug flea Jonah DME she could run it

in business she could be a housewife I

mean we just don't know oh we know for

sure does that mean raid that hey what

remember where we are this is a garden

of eternal peace you talking about

Gerald peace do you hear this knows that

this hell dream a divorce he escaped

hi can through the day

dear valued customer eat up b*mb be

heaviness bonanza no no no the humble

you got the key absolute pain or then I

knew my own negotiations nimi our

lawyers she's off ski she moved in with

him by oh who can blame her

why stick me I'll only party when you

can lever up with high-flying traffic

wardens the lifestyle choice in it well

I'm only worried about up so soon get

fade up pump them for ten Bob's if you

don't mind I'd rather not think about

pumping anything no actually yet after

the bones there what's your next option

they could a fella that's three I wish

start all over again

I'm gonna have to buy moisturizer it's

nobody's stopping moisturizer boy you

I've only have two guys sticking up here

cup shoes Meneely season them

governor or eat ladies tell lassie we

are feast not unlike that shovel then

before you know it it's taxi Tex losers

Tate jackpot let's fight back as far as

the ball goes I'm in the weeds Israel

and we hurry up for goodness seat we've

got a law you go on with addy oh gosh

come on guys

tornado b*stard you tried the crop can't

even clean steel mr. Anderson golf it's

not most precise you well it your

question and took care of a stick well

we've knee carrots and I Whitney chance

hitting them at this deck either horses

a sky but it needs blowing up to speed

quite literally exercise and plenty of

it twice a day six days a week

shed a few pounds that horse has to be

the main deed of its obligation at a

park starting out good at along a brisk

walk right now I knew you'd have the

answer mr. Henderson

here's his jeans right

hell no budge you need to tackle him

under his tent camp started mr.

Henderson under the year Chen you'll not

move unless it a question are you the

horses mollycoddled Michelle we're

supposed to be stormy tackle your boards

[Applause]

[Music]

well back order that b*mb be having last

thing is that legal - Sajid not a spicy

an AC you snippet of who said sure but a

b*mb didn't so is bombay hovel

I'll bet across new Cuddy five means you

did they change the management cause if

or another

what was it week by just posture Thank

You hi he's back P no other Pakula ball

good drop Khalif oh I should email leave

mine he went Scotland McCrory opposed

all geared up for checking all that

checkin' checkin' checkin' na let's just

fluffy pêche yo check it

geez many blues eat 160 handsome any

other donor says doing your one for

eating I don't penny label

just all about your waiter know your

tape skulking a boot in the back of the

stables don't poke me I'm a Daphne bites

all over

no it's throwing sugar lumps for me you

know hi hi much sorry much for a girl on

the horse

oh no no this house doesn't want me they

know this is on the good three and you

never know you know you don't a tanner

then come on the way and months ago I'm

sure that we might have a perfectly

happy over not soft play area there's

just gonna be done for the summer listen

your Tashi prick my Wiens not well I

mean sick my win has a disease I'm sort

of here though yeah problem I winners

he's a sparkly b*stard you always gets

what he wants that's my way it's disease

so unless you've got a cure may we into

getting on the back of your horse

what do you say doc

hey okay

boy come on satella fight

there's more than one spoiled bust up my

Park come on

[Music]

do you know duties finance fur hey Odie

breakfast which apps dry cheese salad

rule hey he must be g*y and off he goes

and in the sunset reads dry cheese salad

roll and his DVD a Brokeback Mountain

like a lot of fun if you can fund me

another two Genji's I sure don't usually

see you with it - I'm safe eat - eat

today

he's busy where I goes mom was never

allowed was okay that were you doing in

my cell plastic car logs me Vicky slap

chef Augie felon then yeah bing-bong

total number four please

you got to the coat unlock no go ten

that causes our army means you stuck a

cheap I fire at everyone's I'm sign it I

think I was in debt here have you seen

them shops

please don't ask everyone ends up owned

by Tobias man

five your breakfast yjg salads who would

you stop it's just after something that

we bet something but if you must know my

friend here is feelin and we bought off

color because today marks a major change

in his status yep he's officially gone

from forced to divorced as I if I know

then all right sorry - you happy oh

that's right

some days these things - I came for the

BST even though they're people at the

table again your nook was pierced

yeah don't begin to boy the fear he's a

bit to get back any sharp and fist it

was and that's what you come in I'm no

shagging him those are the young and

stupid action to be had can I Club

Shelly this garbage snicker what is this

help the edge it to me how'd you find a

name I remember fabi's well you'll need

how about what do yourself

I'm me you steer see I'm young you know

I'm good-looking you out there still

looking see my face

I'll get man to any club Incheon you

don't work knock back yeah there's a

rooster with a horse [ __ ] oh my gosh

delicacy horses right come on yes enough

fine you come there you go

I'll tell you something I could get my

jobs for this you know we boil it that

up there me saddle me protection

I give it a rest well yeah five minutes

right of pocket hardly makes you bin

Laden oh it's a health and safety ocean

as long as my boy stays healthy there's

no West user nice book plea and what was

that hey quick stop day well you might

want to give them a wash sometime he

absolutely stinks a shake what he stinks

of shake no it's Hannah I gave him a can

read last night to sue cordon it went

right through

ah no no no this will never do

regimented rules like that value to

focus it's far more productive to place

them amphitheater play now what did the

Greeks teach us the best forum for

learning is in the road this way the a B

and C all meet at D the focus with all

group is one in the same the axis of

attention remains constant the speaker

which is me retains his audience

throughout

[Music]

thirty me melee no no you bang on time

gentlemen

weird the body of the [ __ ] then a couple

of seats of the front there you will

reap the benefits you won't suffer the

back injuries that those who aren't here

will no doubt cysteine now my name is

Martin tuna and if we're all sitting

comfortably then I'll begin rock salt

Troxel sorry I thought this was

multicultural awareness that's the

eleventh you know we care less but

you're more than welcome to stay in lamb

would of done rocks over slush a no no

rock salt at sea before we start can I

go flick an agenda that's act like nine

yeah cuz I've done to machine it nor was

it take a nap hoon got the paper of the

guitar cool

I get me a cooking off well I got to

poem back Maasai and you know gear

change well be you something about then

Oh something diet

come on gentlemen please go Lord to

cover today

no rock salt he go sure it's my money

she means - no that one - it's not money

thing no like anything no oh he's just a

Peter you know when it's divorce and

everything just makes me really sad to

any here a bit things like that

relationship is coming to an end

makes you wonder what happened to the

people and the love and their friendship

do you know what I mean saintil I mean

it's like you meet the person you're

gonna spend the rest of your life with

which must just be the greatest villain

ever I warm and secure and Abraham and

then for whatever reason defend

yourselves a few years Lee and can't

even communicate sound not really sad no

I know what you mean I used to stay with

us guy and cast him out in the high

flats I fell it one time that was booked

for three weeks I'd come him

pero nice tender so that he'd go vision

plays guitar you're beautiful the James

Blunt over and over every night for

three weeks break my heart must have

been good when you meet up the way now I

never made up I'm a 91 Thundercats and

on his fingers

then chop this guitar it Wendy

though the word great is of neutralized

when describing the substance used to

treat the roads pass around we do not

actually use grit in the field the

brownish colour often mistaken for grit

is actually caused by traces of clay

left and the salt so any questions at

this point

here's the way to wield agenda money any

questions not relating to the

disappearance of the fizzy drinks man

yes now applications of rock salt

sensible usage assists with the safe

movement and well-being of the following

cars vans lorries buses cyclists motor

are finally in a cancellation go ahead

I've had it all you want to leave be my

guest

you can walk out of this lecture you can

walk all the way to the dole office for

all

anyone else were to rock the boot anyone

else

losing focus good

[Music]

Hey and over time they all about hate

they how many things of a tell you you

can t plea [ __ ] boy here there's what

going on here boys

well at least I should be you're gonna

have to find somewhere else to play

football key odd not allowed the

confiscate let's say I'm putting a knife

through it but I'm prepared to give you

a second chance after you promise me

you'll pay respect to commercial

property in a future QD like there you

go alright

I'm gonna fly up at the punches at

Camille's every line ot what robustness

Morgan who leaves us cants my graveyard

people have seen ghosts Oh Jim Morrison

fans and all yeah because I Cemetery in

Paris it's called their son born or

something

it's just chock-full of eat celebrities

after up here after that musicians and

painters know that shape I Marcel Mauss

awti oh I did wave can have it in me all

that laughs I'm not in shock

Jim Morrison's believes their fans make

a pilgrimage to eat for other world it V

naught B joints and I laugh you've

bought with a Wayne and don't cope the

French parties have been mourning about

it for years

what they're getting for free baby

you're gonna let for these it's not just

that you know I mean those other famous

deeds celebrities Aaron or what's good

why you're there and the Marcel Marceau

mob you know they are t Nina's Rossini

the painter no he was a composer sure

give me the pen or a baggie much

breakfast for a week I'm gonna be your

breakfast softly four figures oh so it's

personal was that right okay then

Rossini celebrated composer died 18

something Pina specialized in landscapes

and fruit need to give a monkey's happy

a triumph he was a composer I'm telling

you you don't write how did we find it

now that you're back from your toilet

break let's look at the answers to the

dreaded multiple-choice unfortunately a

few of you decided to make your toilet

break permanent but we started with an

easy one rock salt is brown in color

because of traces of what left in the

salt mud gravy clay or coal what did you

put cool what colors cool black yeah got

point no yet so cool is black what

colors rock salty what the answers in

the question rock salt is brown in color

did you read the question

naw man I don't need the question that

just puts me off no I'm just laughs tech

tech tech all the way done d*ck March on

seasonal do you agree with that what

what's your method for filling in your

multiple choice you don't know so you

advocate cheap there's no cheating so

lucky nothing honest is pointless give

me those

[Applause]

these sessions are for your benefit yet

applied what place knowledge you will

get on you will prosper if you listen

Angelia you won't if you like about and

rely on a lucky dip thing [ __ ] you've

passed

Oh stranger on the shore my hacker Belk

one way to think it's hair we're going

all the way out to Bonnie Scotland with

a couple of Rangers that's Park you see

[Applause]

you even b*stard fight breakfast but is

that gonna cost me Donald

you see me wine coach look Camden

I'm gonna take your money off yema

anyway you're gonna need it to fund your

new single lifestyle fire sale apologize

max right there you'll be unafraid in

eight years

tweezers ooh chugging away yourself when

respectable guys like me are propping up

the bar are you swallowing a balloon at

your hiss raid in your wife

carry your armory be real man up here

yeah

now gentlemen you may feel unbalanced

when the vehicle moves away this is

perfectly normal and can be dealt with

by adopting the box of stance like salt

right driver off we go and stop only on

my command

van

and remember what you were told earlier

let's see if you can take it on the road

and rock salt even spread excellent see

boys be mindful of pedestrians

now what would have happened if that had

been at night ravine tt would be doubly

difficult

[Music]

release excellent don't overload soup

hair perfect read excellent rock salt a

textbook raw salt you're not cheating

again out here rock salt

remember your Pakistan box our stance

you're an [ __ ]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

when you want you Nevada Argos yep

Michelle don't you see the bus no no

don't you taking a bus to come on you

walk up piece of a you walked it mean

good lycée Michelle are you but naive

hot a gold door can you be good

come on Michelle have an old eight here

you don't

hello mr. Henderson alright stud farm as

I do

[Laughter]

[Music]

you