03x02 - New Class Day

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony We're invading

your TV We're comic dispensers We've

cut them all with sensors On tiny toon

adventures Get a dose of comedy So here's

recipe acres It's a whole wide world

apart Our homes can only stand alone A

cartoon worth of artWe're rejected,

expect the unexpected A tiny

tuna, which is just about to start

They're furry, they're funny They're fast

and bustin' funny Much hannah matches

money And my wreck is a pain He's hunting

and lucky Is he dead or yucky?

Purple's a nucky And go-go is insane

At SP University, we earn our tuna

green That's the teaching caps and

getting laughs Since 1933

We're tiny, we're Sydney We're all a

little loonyCome and join

the fun And now our song is

done

Greetings, knowledge-starved young mind.

You're just in time for a new class day

at Acme University.

What's your next class, Pluggy?Super

Heroics 101. Hey, me too.

I wonder what our assignments will be.

Wonder baths!

And, of course, mmm, back suck!

Maybe we can transfer to shop class.

It all began when Decoy and I were

undergoing one of our rigorous training

sessions in the duck cave.

Doggone zipper, would you suck on the

butler stay off?

Bark! The back duck communicator!

Someone's trying to get in touch via my

super secret hero's only frequency. Back

duck here. Please don't have a cow.

But I can't-- Oh, oh! I'm here! This

is... That duck.

Heidi, hi, you grim and austere duck

knight, you. Uh, super fun.

All-American hero and leader of the

Justice League of Super Toons. You honor

my humble duck cave. Yes, I know.

Listen, Duckiekins, we've had a spot open

up in the league, and we're wondering if

you'd like to sign on. Me?A

member of the Just Us League of Super

Toons?Eh, I guess I could pencil you in,

sure. Peachy, hop round to headquarters

tonight and we'll swear you in. You can

rest assured, I will uphold the League's

proud tradition of honor and dignity.

Just think we'll take hostage. Once we're

in the Legion, the world will be in our

feet! There'll be back to comic books,

toys, movie options, licensing deals,

and the chance to fight injustice

alongside the world's greatest heroes!

That's right. Burst my bubble, you little

killjoy.

Here you go, son. Don't scratch the

chrome. Yes, sir. Ha!

So the Just Us League is swearing in a

new member. Well, he'll also meet his

doom at the hands of Wex Ruthor.

Hi, guys. Don't get up. Ah,

Bad Duck. I'd like you to meet our little

group. I'm sure you recognize

Little Dasher.

Next, say hello to Hawk Loon

Hello. What say we ruffle each other's

feathers, hmmTo

my right are Wonder Babs.

Aqua Mutt.

To my left is Sink Canary.

Teen Arrow.

And the Mystic Maid of Musk

Santana.

Pull yourself together, decoy. You'll

make me look bad. So, tell

us, Ducky, you've seen our miraculous

powers. What do you do?I

use my fearsome creature of the night

image. Along with my stunning array of

high-tech weaponry to subdue demented

criminal scum. What?Is that it?Don't you

fly or turn into a batter to something

stunningly super powerful?Nope.

But I am a heck of a claw dancer.

Oops, our mistake. We thought you were

something more than just a puny,

egotistical green duck.

Reject!

Nothing personal, Ducky, but that's why

we call ourselves the Just Us League.

It's Just Us Supertoons.

Ha! Ha! I get it. You're a bunch of

elitist super snobs.

Well, I wouldn't join your little

clothing society if you got down on your

knees and begged me. And...

you're not, are you?

Fine.

Well, huffy! Still, we're better off

without the likes of him.

Say your prayers, Super Toon g*ons. Wax

Muthor is here. Get lost, Muthor. We

know you don't have any superpowers

either. But I will, once I steal yours.

Gah! Choke! His suit's got a built-in

superpower transfer thingy. Right.

I'll soak up your powers and become the

nastiest supervillain ever. Guess

what?I forgot to get my parking ticket

validated.

Oh, well, I see you're busy. We'll just

be on our way.

I'll absorb your power first.

What's wrong?I feel so shamed. Well,

that's because all you've absorbed are

the powers of a puny, egotistical green

duck.

Correct! Even though no one could absorb

all of my ego at once. Biznics,

hooray! Biznics, hooray!

And that's how Decoy and I won key

positions in the Justice League.

Hey, Wonder Babs, you forgot your keys

again.

Just when you're getting used to the old

classes, they stick it with a bunch of

new ones. What'd you get for first period?

HmmSilent cartoon interpretation.

You kids may not believe it, but once,

all cartoons had no sound or color.

So don't go nuts trying to fix your TVs.

It's supposed to look like this.

That was kind of fun. Yeah, it was as

quiet as you've been in class all year.

Har-har.

Next up, Classic Comedy Team

Workshop.

Well, that's where we choose hone our

skills by imitating famous comedy stars.

Comedy teams are okay, but I prefer

telling jokes solo. Preferably solo,

we can't hear you.

Yes, I'll tell her. Mrs. Rittenhouse.

What is it, Janison?That was

the bank. They're going to foreclose,

unless we can bring in some customers.

Not to worry. I have hired the most

respected hotel manager in the world,

Dr. Leslie Hackensack. Dr.

Hackensack?Why, he's a... Say it

and I'll sue. Speaking of Sue, you must

be Sue Rittenhouse. And if you're not,

you should sue me for calling you that.

Oh, Dr. Hackensack. Yes,

I am Susan Rittenhouse III.

Where are the other two?You hiding them

in that circus ted you're wearing?Dr.

Hackensack, on behalf of Kokomo's

Coconut Cabanas, I embrace

you. You do, and I'll slug you. Dinner

time. Here's your chef now.

This is Mr. Chick O'Lena.

I think I know your face. I give up. Who

is it?You look just like an ex-con I used

to know named Chick O'Lena. Ah,

he thinks I look alike to myself. Well,

I'll leave you to your work.

Work?Who said anything about work?I've

never been so insulted in my life. You're

young yet. So you're the chef. What are

you serving?Ah, Pinky says that we serve

a tennis ball. Who are you?She asked as

if she cared. This is

Pinky. He's at the band. What kind of

band do you have?Ha!

He have a rubber band. Where are his

instruments?

Sergical instruments. I had to ask.

Now we gotta discuss the payment.

All right, what does he get an hour?Well,

if we're playing, he gets a $50 an hour.

How much does he get for not playing?$100

an hour. And for rehearsing, he gets you

$200 an hour. And for not rehearsing?

You couldn't afford it.

That comes to $63 million and two cents.

You had to put your two cents in, didn't

you?I'll tell you what, I'll match your

current salary. He's not being paid or

nothing. Then it's a deal.

Don't forget to write. Don't forget to

never come back. Now I've got a

plan. I can't beat that. I got a pair of

plans. Why aren't you wearing them?If you

follow my plan, in two weeks I guarantee

you'll be cleaning out. I don't do

windows. You don't do comedy either.

Now listen, we'll put up a sign out front

that offers a 75 cent dinner that'll

knock the customer's eyes out. Once their

eyes are out, we can charge anything we

want. Now, go put the

sign out by the viaduct. I don't know,

viaduct. And that's the secret word.

Here's your prize. A freshly printed

dollar bill. Careful, the ink's still

wet. Oh, Dr. Hackensack,

the bank's just called. They're going to

foreclose. I'll tell you what. Invite the

bank manager over for dinner tonight, and

I promise you this hotel will be full

when he arrives. Oh, Dr.

Hackensack, I could kiss

you. You do, and I'll sue. Say, isn't

this where I came in?

One, we need to feed a hundred of people.

What are we gonna do?

That solves another problem. Now that

it's nothing, I wish we had some fish.

Oh, honestly, what is the

matter with you?

Would you put me

down, please?She's all right. We got to

throw her back. She's too big.

Well, if it isn't Mrs. Susan Rittenhouse,

and I wish it weren't. Mrs. Rittenhouse,

this is Mr. Mayonnaise, the bank manager.

Oh, Mr. Mayonnaise. It is so

good to meet you. Well, I can see your

business is improving. Why, business is

booming. See what I mean?Call the

governor and pardon me. We got a duck for

dinner. Why, a duck?Hey, that's my line.

Well, you'll be walking that line if you

don't get the food out to the bank

manager. If the dinner looks as promising

as the crowd, I'd say you're in business.

I'd like to make a toast. I'd like to,

but the toaster is broken.

Without all of you, none of this would be

possible. But I won't hold that against

you. We have saved this hotel. Sure,

it needs a few touch-ups. But who

doesn't?This hotel isn't that bad. In

fact, it's one of the nicest hotels I've

ever seen. And that's not saying much

about hotels in general. Speaking of

generals, General Patton once said...

When are we going to eat?I'm hungry.

I'm Swedish myself, but enough about me.

What do you think about me?Dinner here is

saved. If tennis ba*ls come out of the

air, I'll scream. Ohh

Dr. Hackensack, how can I

ever repay you?A paycheck

will do. But how did you ever get so

many customers here?Believe me, it

was nothing. Nothing at

all.