02x04 - Hog-Wild Hamton

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony We're invading

your TV We're comic dispensers We

cut them all with sensors On tiny toon

adventures Get a dose of comedy So here's

at the acres It's a whole wide world

apart Our homes, we only stand alone A

cartoon worth of art Left breath we're

rejected Expect the unexpected On

tiny toon adventuresThey're just about to

start They're free, they're funny They're

thousand, buzz and bunny Much hannah

matches money And my wreck is a pain He's

hunting and plucky Busy, devil,

yucky Paul's a monkey And Gogo

is insane At Eskimo University we

earn our two degrees That's the teaching

cats I'm getting laughs in 1933 We're

tiny, we're tiny We're all a little loony

It's time to tuned adventures Come and

join the funNow our

song is done.

It's party night on Tiny Toons, and the

big soiree's at Hampton's house. Only

Hampton doesn't know it yet. A minor

detail. So, let's party!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! I won! I won! I won! Oh! Bad gum, my

dern. Bad gum. I won.

Yes, these lucky people were grand prize

winners in the Acme Clearinghouse

sweepstakes. Hi, I'm

Egg McMayhem. Look for my hideous face in

your mailbox. Huh To enter,

simply subscribe to thousands of

overpriced magazines, and you too can

win! Don't

delay! Enter today! Ohh..

Tork Digest?Better Homes and Pig

Styes?Vacuum Cleaner Monthly?

I bought 'em all!

Hampton's the only one I know who enters

the ethnic caring house sweepstakes for

the magazines.

Bup goes the weasel.

There. Everything's set, Hampton. This'll

be the best second honeymoon your mom and

I have ever had. Ah That's my

dad, Mr. Robaps. Wade,

we completely forgot to get a babysitter

for Hampton. Ah, gee, Mom, don't

you think I'm old enough to stay by

myself?But we'll be gone for two whole

days. Oh, if only Uncle Stinky

wasn't out of town at the bacon

convention. Now, Winnie, I think

Hampton can look after the old homestead

by himself. Yeah, I can do it,

please. Nothing will go wrong, I promise.

Well, all right. But we'd better not

come home to a pig sty. Goodbye,

Hammie-han. Take care of our little pan

for swine.

We trust you, son. Just don't blow up the

house. Yes,

sir. Goodbye. Aloha! Bon

voyage!

So, what are we going to do this weekend,

hammy old pal?Skydiving?A

safari?A trip to the tattoo parlor?I'm

just going to stay home. Just stay home?

Hampton, buddy, why venture way our

golden childhood years, stick around with

mom and dad?But my parents are gone for

the weekend, and I promised I'd watch the

house. Oh.

What?Did you say your folks were gone?

Uh-huhParty at Hamptons!

Party at Hamptons!

Shh! Plucky, I can't throw a party.

My parents are trusting me. But it's your

duty as a youth of America! To throw a

party when your folks go out of town. It

is?Sure! How do you think parties

happen, anyway?Well, I hadn't given it

much thought. Come on, it's not gonna

k*ll you to have some fun. Well, okay,

Plucky, you can come over. But you've got

to promise not to touch anything. My

parents will k*ll me if they find the

best. And don't tell anyone else.

Hey, my beak is buttoned. All

right, Hampton! We can't wait,

huhI wouldn't miss it, Hampton. I'm

telling every dad gum buddy I know,

hogbread dad gum! Oh, that's

nice. Gee, buddy, everyone seems to be

noticing me today. Maybe it's your new

haircut.

Oh, Tiggy! You'd be there!

What was that about?Tasmanian devils.

Go figure 'em. Hey, why don't we go for

milkshakes?My treat. Well, sure.

Mmm, triple thick fudgemalabalt, my

favorite. Ah, yes, the old sugar

coma.

what kind of party is it?A costume party,

a slumber party, a birthday party, I

hope, I hope! Uh, yeah, yeah, whatever.

Filthy mirror.

Gee, Plucky, this was a swell idea. I

said it wouldn't k*ll you to have a

little fun. Oh,

golly. I wonder who that could be.

Hi, Plucky!

Well... Look who's here! Hey,

Hampton, it's the guys! Guys?

What guys?

What a complete and total surprise!

Talk about being caught unaware. Still, I

guess we can improvise. Party!

Whoa!

Hampton?

Hampton?Mom?Dad?We're here, son.

AhI had the most horrible dream.

I dreamed Plucky threw a big party and

wrecked the whole house, and you got so

angry you k*lled me. Oh, I'm

sorry, son, but this is the

dream. There really is a party going on.

And when we get home, we really are going

to k*ll you. That's right. Bye. Wait,

wait

Plucky! What are these people

doing?the mambo.

Oops, more fun seekers.

Bob and Dad are gonna k*ll me. Oh

yeah, Plunky. I brought the

dips. Check out this sound system.

I'm the duck with the tunes who will make

the sixth swoon.

Now bury Manilow's greatest hit.

Great party, Hampton! What a guy! You're

wonderful! You must do more parties or

some junk.

Yes?

Esteemed neighbors, I am studying for my

final exam in nuclear brain

transplantation. I respectfully

request that you keep the sound of your

mindless frivolity down to a dull roar,

or else. Yours with sincere

appreciation, Egghead Junior. Or

else, what?Listen, kid, this is a

private party, so beat it!

Lucky, that wasn't very nice.

What can that little squirt do to us?

Yeah, what can't he do to us?

No, what is it?

Hey, Buster, get ready. It's been the

bottle time. Got that trick, a

regular run-of-the-mill bottle, Sherman?

Oh, yeah, like, here's that regular

run-of-the-mill bob. Wait a

minute. Now I'll spin the bottle, and

whoever it points to, I'll kiss.

Oh,

gosh.

Your turn, Elmira.

Oh, boy! Cuddly kiss from Mr.

Hippity-Hop!

Come back here, my bunny-boat-bunny!

Phew!

Yummy food and friends! Why didn't you

eat the whole thing?

Come back, sweet brother!

Yoo-hoo! Hi!

How'd you do that?Bachelor Effect!

My bunny-wunny! You better give me a

kissy-witty! Uh, Go-Go will fill in for

me. Go-Go, give me kisses!

Oh, you give

me kisses!

Ew! Check

it out, everyone! Mr. Radio Might!

I can broadcast to radios all over the

neighborhood!This is your host, Pluck

Duckman, and we're glad you've joined us

here tonight. It's ladies' night here at

Hamptons, so ladies, come on over

and rock and

roll!

Hey, this is Pluck Duckman, live

at him!

Oh, hello again. Honored next-door

dweller, I hate being an itch, but please

be advised that if another intrusion of

any sort is visited upon my person, you

will be dead meat on a stick. Yours,

Egghead Junior. Step back! I'll

handle this! I thought I told you to

leave! Now go on home, you little runt!I

don't think this kid understands English.

I guess I'm just gonna have to boot you

out!

Just try that again.

Is my date enjoying the party?Wanna

cut some rugs?You're so

cuddly-woodly. I'm gonna hug you

and squeeze you and swing you and spin

your tail.

Oh, that must be the band! The

Military Boys Choir here to perform

front, dead, center, sir! What?

Not in, boys! All band

members present and accounted for, sir!

Ohh

This is completely your fault. You threw

the party. You invited those people. Now

my house is ruined. What have you got to

say for yourself?Man, are you gonna get

it.

Maybe it's not as bad as it looks.

Ah, buck up, buddy. Every cloud has its,

uh.. vast bottomless pit of

despair. Despair. Despair. Maybe I

can fix it. Sure.

Denial. The last recourse of the doomed.

There. A little glue, a little paint. No

one will know the difference.

Plucky. I hope you'll

k*ll me for this. I know it.

I'll be grounded.

Or worse yet, maybe I'll be

horse-whipped.

At least they're using a non-dairy,

low-cholesterol whipped topping.

Who knows what kind of monstrous t*rture

they'll devise?

I'll be folded, spindled and mutilated.

I'll be hogtied. Now

who's a purple horse with a spatula?

He's the guy my parents are going to hire

to tan my hide. Oh,

mellow out Hampton, it's just a sunlamp.

Then for the next 60 seconds, they'll

t*rture me with the emergency broadcast

system.

Good fudge cake, Winnie. Wish we had a

nice, obedient son to share it with.

If they'll do the worst thing of all,

they'll eat cake in front of me.

Cool it, ham. Everything will be fine if

we tell your folks the right story.

You mean a little white lie?

Lie is such an ugly word. I prefer

creative exaggeration. Here's what we'll

say. There we were, sitting in your

living room, drinking cocoa and playing

checkers, when suddenly...

Oh, Girl Scout cookie time again, eh

Six boxes of Fidbits, please.

Inside the alien ship, we were subjected

to weird and unworldly experiments.

They tested us, and Ray tested us.

But, Plucky, how did we get off the ship?

Well, we flunked the tests, and they

booted us out. And when they were taking

off, they mistakenly disintegrated their

house, and that's what happened.

Do you think Mom and Dad will believe it?

We'll know in a sec. We're all

heavy-headed. Got a bolt. Let me know how

it comes out. You're staying. You

know when?I believe those pesky

gophers are back. I'm done, honey.

Where's the house?The house?Well,

uh, it's, uh, like this. Remember?

Aliens?Experiments?Um..

Plonky talked me into throwing a big

party, and everyone in town came over,

and they blew the house up, and now we

have no place to live, and you hate me!

Spoiler. You really had everyone in

town over for a party?

Oh, son.

That's great. It sure is. You're such a

quiet little guy. We were afraid you

didn't have any friends. Now we can

cancel those therapy sessions. Does this

mean I won't be punished?Oh,

silly. Of course you'll be punished. You

think you can blow up our house and get

away without a punishment?Sorry, Mr.

Naughty. Hey, this is obviously a pig

family matter, so I'll be on my way. You

know, this'll hurt out more than it hurts

you. Call me a weasel, but I could never

resist watching a pal getting punished.

Only a miracle could save me now.

Hold everything, Hampton JP!

You're the Acme Clearinghouse's grand

prize winner. Really?

Yes, you're the proud new owner of a

brand-new, luxurious,

extraordinary, awesome, peculiar,

phenomenal, very good, fabulous,

above-average, lovely dream house.

Well, gee, thanks, Egg. Thank

you, Hampton, for entering our contest.

What do you got there, son?Huh

Dear sir, I am studying for an important

exam and humbly request you desist that

annoying laughing.