02x02 - Going Places

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony, we're

invading your TV We're comic

dispensers We've cut them all of the

sensors On I'm a Toon Adventures, get a

dose of comedy So here's, let the acres

if the whole wide world apart Our hopes,

we only stand alone, a cartoon work of

art Let's rest where we checked it Expect

the unexpectedabout

too sharp They're free, they're funny

They're thousand buns get bunny Mashanna

matches money Now my wreck is a pain He's

huntin', that's lucky Disney, Devil,

yucky Purple's a ducky, and Go-Go

is insane At Esmee University we

earn our June degree That's the teaching

facts I'm getting last since 1933 We're

honey, we're soonies We're all a little

loony It's time to June adventures, come

and join the bunch

Our song is done.

Hiya, Toonsters. Today's Field Trip Day

on Kylie Toons. It's one of the few

things we kids love about school. Class,

today our objective is to understand how

people work. Our bus will proceed to the

Acme Firehouse for first and second

periods. From there, we will infiltrate

the Acme Metropolitan Museum of Art.

And our voyage concludes at the Montana

Max Merry Meats Factory.

Driver, we are 12.5 seconds

behind schedule.

Moment!

Welcome, class, to Akley Acres

Firehouse. Today's lecture on

fire safety and prevention will be

conducted by our fire chief, the Right

Honorable Pete Subaru.

Umm Now first, students.

I would like to demonstrate typical

causes of fire. These are

real no-nos. Don't ever

take an old rag that's been soaked in

gasoline and touch it with a rising

match. Uh, like this. As

you can see, the rising smoke

don't touch. Why is this guy on our show?

I will now demonstrate the dangers of

smoking halation. Don't breathe in the

smoke. It's a no-no.

I'm allergic to smoke.

And finally, and the most importantly,

never fire off a rocket inside a

building. You may cause a whole lot

of fire hazards. Whoa,

whoa, whoa! Where's the truck?Where's the

truck?There!

Gotta put the fire out.

The school's on fire. Yeah, what what

Come on.

Thanks. No problem.

I'll take care of that little flame.

I've got you now, you half-pint bonfire.

You couldn't light a book a match.

Hi. Uh, yeah, uh, here.

How about some dry wood?

Delicious taste on the side with

fiber, great for clenching the

colon.

Look, someone's in trouble. Don't worry,

I'll save ya. Oh, my hero!

Oh, Garson. It's about

time. I'll start with some wood chips and

dip, after which I'll have the Louis XIV

chair with the Mouton Rothschild flambe

and a beaker of your finest hot sauce.

Very long now. Yes, sir.

Ohh I don't recall ordering roast pig.

No tip tonight.

I've got you now.

Stop! You come one step

closer, and I'll set your precious shows

on fire, starting with this

episode! You wouldn't dare.

You asked for it!

I feel so used.

Not yet! I quit! I've had it!

Bucky, quick! Do something! Do

something?Do something! I've tried

everything excepting open sesame! What?

What

Well, men, we did it. We'll never see

that little flame again.

Oh, my goodness! What a cute little

flamey would be! I want to

hug him and love him and give him

a squeeze and...

Blame the bye-bye.

And now, class, for the second leg of our

field trip, let us explore the Acme Art

Museum.

Whistler's mother! It's No Boy! Oh, my!

The regents of St. Elizabeth's!

It's completely serious, even stoic,

and yet the artist displays a rather

charming sense of humor.

Humor?Well, if you're talking humor,

you've just got to see this Bugs Bunny

comic. That rabbit really

slays me. Bugs Bunny?Birds,

obviously your exposure to this this

entertainment has rendered you blind to

true genius. I must be careful, lest you

taint the rest of us. Is she a drag or

what?Away, children. Oh,

well. Some people wouldn't know good

taste if it hit them on the head.

Where am I?

The world of art! The world of

art?Well, what do you know?Hello,

Rembrandt. How's it going, Bango?You

know, I really wish I could get into this

artistic stuff, but it doesn't move me.

In fact, it doesn't move at all. Hey,

look, it's those Regent guys. Rise and

shine, pilgrims. We're moving out.

That hat is all wrong. It's gonna go.

There, Baldi, a designer

hairpiece.

That's

movement all right.

HuhCalm down. I

know you're upset and I don't blame you.

Erase her! Rip her out! Get her! Strip

her on her! Now that is negative

thinking!You got to see the big picture.

I know what you're thinking. You have

class and taste on your side, and I'm

just an interloper, a threat to the old

status quo. But you have to admit that

you've hogged the spotlight for a long

time.

Just listen to this. Mr.

Picasso, you go so far so you can't

see And Matisse, you try

to please, but you just

please When all a girly really needs

is squash and stretch To

make a bunny, bunny, yes siree

Squash and stretch

And silly syncopation, animated

motivation. Best key to

jubilation for me. This

is us. Mr.

Donatello, you're quite a fellow,

guaranteed.

Mona Lisa, what a piece of

Laurentine.

Did Jericho, maybe Lyrical

A card to faint and sing

'Til you see a comic's funny As the one's

a dark or funny You can keep your paint

and brushstroke That is simply not for us

folks If you take your cue and follow me

Use some squash and stretch and sing off

key Squash and stretch and

ink and paint Do a sketch, you'll be a

saint What's up, doc, and something funny

Animate, and you'll make money. Believe

you me, if you stay static, you'll be

starving in an attic. Throw away your

crush and palette. Get yourself an acne

palette. You can count on this girl's

guarantee. You'll

go down in cinematic if for

a chalet. Uh, she's all right. Yeah,

nothing wrong with her.

Wow! I did it! I can m*rder

them! Uh, Mrs. Whistler, didn't you like

the song?What did you see?

There's no place like home. There's no

place like home. That?

Wake up, honey! Oh, Auntie M, is that

you?Well, dear, you got quite a

bump on the head. We thought for a minute

there you were going to leave us. But I

did leave you, Uncle Henry, and I went to

a place where I annoyed everyone a lot.

But anyway, Toto, we're home, home, and

there's no place like

home. Our last stop today is the

Monteramax Merry Meat Company.

Monty has been kind enough to let us tour

his facilities. I bought it with last

week's allowance. Here we will learn how

our favorite foods are bruises.

This way, class, we will begin our

tour on the Merry Mito Rail.

We start with the animal selection

pen, where the animal's most important

attributes are examined for their most

appropriate uses, such as

turkey legs.

Here are excellent examples of cow

tongue, a good

fryer, and of course, buffalo

wings. Get a

load of those poor saps. Too bad they

don't have the intellect of us. Higher

life forms. Oh, no?Well, check out the

London Broil. Pup-pup.

Jolly good show. Now, an

example of cured ham.

Is there a USDA inspector in the house?

Yes, I am an inspector, and you look

really fresh to me.

Our next stop, the Merry Sausage Machine,

where the robots scan each pig for

freshness.

Here the poor dumb beasts are ground up

into bite-sized treats.

Yuck! That's a buster. You gotta--

eh, have this on the-- oh, they're gonna

turn them into--

Hold on, Bunny! We'll save ya!

Anyone got any mustard?Oh, no!

My poor Bunny Wennies and Bucky Ducky

reduced to

dinky-linky!

I'll save you,

edible cattle leaf!

So what do you think of the place?Great,

huhGreat!Did I go out of your mind?Get

real! Hey, put me down! You need

some reprogramming. Knock it off, rabbit.

You got that film, buddy, Babs?Ready to

roll! Pipes, camera, action!

How to Make a Hamburger is brought to you

by... Happy the Cow. Polo!

Hi kids, I'm Happy the Cow.

Moo! And I want you to

eat me. I'm a high quality grade A

heifer, and I'll do anything for you.

I'll do pirouettes, I'll do hamlet. Alas,

poor Yorick, you look a little gaunt. But

my best role is at the luncheonette. And

now, how to make hamburger meat.

First, grab a cow, like moi.

Then you grab a big matlet and knock him

out. Then

a big hook picks him up, ohh

and drops the dumb animal into the meat

grinder.

For those of you at home with weak

stomachs, I suggest tuning in the Disney

Channel.

That's all, folks. And now, a Merry Meets

complimentary merry meal.

UmmThat's disgusting!

Nauseating! I'll sue! Don't get

mad, Monty. Get either. You got it,

rabbit!

Rocky, duck and cover!

And so, after a little gentle persuasion,

Monty converted the meat factory into the

vegetarian haven we now know and love.

You know, we rabbits have always been

strict vegetarians.

Well, at least vegetables don't mind when

they eat 'em.

Please don't eat us!