02x01 - Baum

[bunniefuu]

HI AND HELLO AND YO, ETC.

THIS IS HELENE

THIS STORY IS BASED

ON TRUE EVENTS.

I'm Helene.

I'm new here.

Oh, well.

Right, Ms. Sternberg.

Come this way.

THIS STORY IS BASED ON TRUE EVENTS.

THIS STORY IS BASED

BASED.

I'm Helene.

I just wanted to tell you, you're going
to die and I'm partly to blame.

Well, not just that. I'm going to
tell you the story from the start.

{\an8}1. TREE

Here I am, on my way to peace of mind.

It's somewhere in the woods.

Only a third of the trees
around here are still standing,

because I torched quite a few of them.

But, yeah, that's another story.

Somewhere back there,
near my torched forest,

should be peace of mind,
so that's where I'm going.

I'd really like a burger right now,
or a wrap.

Unfortunately,
the e-scooter's range ends here.

Not far from peace of mind.

No way.

My friends and I haven't talked turkey
with each other for ages.

So...

listen. I've got to tell you something.

It's about...

Chris.

Frankly, I don't think
we've got much of a chance.

The edge is missing.

Edge?

Yeah.

- And what does that mean?
- No idea. It's what you said to me.

Anyway, I got the impression
he was laughing at the way I kiss.

How do you kiss?

That's very sexy.

So, that means that you've got
a lot of free time now, right?

Well, I'm in love with someone new now.
Sheikh.

- I hope you don't mind.
- No!

Wanna hang from the pines
and listen to audio books?

To be honest, I want
to do something with Sheikh now.

Sure.

- So, I'll see you around.
- I'll be in touch.

The number of friends I had

had just decreased
by another 100%,

to, zero.

And I'm slowly beginning to wonder

why wherever I go,

things end up in ashes.

Scorched earth.

Does it have something to do
with the earth or with me?

And do I have to just live with that
or maybe make some changes?

And why do I sleep so f*cking badly?

I need a point zero,
where there's nothing left.

Where I can just lie
on the scorched earth,

like a mourning seahorse,

without anyone looking at me
or asking me anything,

or understanding me,
or categorizing me,

Or upgrading me,
or impressing me.

"Silence de la soul."

I think I'm on the right track.

Or I was.

- "Assala-maik-um," Maiki.
- Helene.

- What are you doing?
- I'm...

- I'm jotting some stuff down.
- What do you mean, "jotting stuff down"?

- Normal. On my Mac.
- Which Mac?

The computer, Mac?
I'm jotting down stuff on my Mac.

Yes, but in what way
are you jotting stuff down on your Mac?

What do you mean, "In what way
are you jotting stuff down?"

I'm jotting stuff down.

I know what you mean
by jotting stuff down on your Mac.

But what are you jotting down?

Since when has jotting something down,

and then saying on the phone
you're jotting something down,

been about
what you're actually jotting down?

Listen, Helene, I need your help.

WAIT, I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS
IN PERSON.

You can't begin to imagine
what this sentence means to me.

She said...

I need your help.

She really said...

I need your help.

Sorry, I...

I didn't quite hear what you just said.

I need your help, Helene. Now.

- Where?
- Vaginality.

Vaginality, our feminist ideas hub,
at Mountain of Talent.

Right, okay.

- Say it again.
- Vaginality?

- The other thing.
- Feminist ideas hub?

The other thing.

- I won't say that I told you so.
- But you told me so.

Yes, I told you so.

But she's coming.

Thanks for the look but I'm not focusing
on the emotional awareness between us.

I mean, she's like a field
with really fertile soil.

And you just have
to plant flowers on it.

- Yes, maybe.
- But?

No, no buts.

Fertile ground, Jason!

Have you ever seen a person
with so much f*cking potential?

But there are fields that remain fields.

We can brainstorm the ideas
for My Compost Watch.

We've got two suggestions.

I've asked Maike for help my whole life.

For the first time ever,
she's asked me for help.

Maybe this is the gateway
to peace of mind.

It's so great you've come.

A few weeks ago, we got a huge budget

to create an app targeting a female
market and diverse 20 to 30-year-olds.

This is a real chance for us.

The investor believes in us, but our
ideas keep falling flat with him.

They're not crazy enough.
He wants something really deranged.

I'm quoting.

- And that's why I'm here.
- Yes.

I'm scared we'll lose the job
if we don't give him something deranged.

You can take the persimmon.

Do you like it here?

Yes, they look like...

tents.

Yes, exactly.

It's great that you see that.

We developed the space

to be reminiscent of traditional
African nomadic forms of conversation.

We're not colonizing,
we're just camping.

We have community tents here.

And then there are
several work and mindfulness areas.

What happened there?

YES, WHAT DID HAPPEN THERE?

THIS HAPPENED.



- Hello. Helene Sternberg.
- Right.

So, Ms. Sternberg,

according to my documents,
you are here for therapy,

as the probation condition
of your suspended sentence

for the negligent burning of a forest

as per paragraphs 306 to 306f
of the Penal Code.

Correct.

It smelled nice in the clinic.
You could see your face on the apples.

- It's all good. Thanks.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Ciao.

Yes, you are here with us
for behavioral therapy.

Yes, we have bars on the windows,
but the doors aren't locked.

We're not a detention center.

We have a patient-oriented
interdisciplinary approach.

- You don't need to lie down.
- No, I'd like to.

Any pre-existing medical conditions?

A dust mite allergy.

And at 15,
I was diagnosed with a "preferfect."

- A what?
- A "preferoriect."

- Is that a personality disorder?
- Nonsense.

Right.

Take a deep breath.

Sit up.

About the dust mites,
I like living with my allergy.

I was given injections for a while
to adapt my body to the mites.

But I found out I was actually allergic
to their feces, not the actual mites.

- So I stopped the injections.
- Hold your breath.

Or would you like to have
mite excrement injected into you?

I'm also asymmetrical.

My face, my feet. My breasts too.
And the roof of my mouth.

If you could just stop speaking, please.

Thanks.

My pleasure.

Right.

I was actually about to go on a trip.

So I have a question for you.
How long will all this take?

So the check-up and then the therapy...

How long until my wires are rewired
and I can leave the repair shop?

If you could open
your mouth for me, please.

I've entered Maike's realm,

where heels click on floors

and you gorge on fruit.

- Hi, Jason.
- Welcome to Vaginality.

- Hi...
- Hi.

All right.

- They are Elonde Ntugse.
- Hi.

Nice to meet you, Elonde.
And you, Ntugse.

I'm Cari, he/him.

Right.

Pleased to meet you, Ntugse.

I'm Gabriel.

He/him.

- They are Elonde Ntugse.
- Yes. They/them.

- I'm a graphic designer.
- Right, nice.

Nice to meet you, Elonde Ntugse.

I'd say let's do
a round of introductions.

Hello.

New, right?

Yes, exactly.

Get yourself some food. It was
teaching kitchen today. We made lasagna.

- What's "teaching kitchen"?
- We cook together.

Learn about nutrition.

It's about doing therapy
in every area of life here.

- Yes.
- The lasagna is a bit bland.

Yes, it's a bit bland today.

It needs seasoning.

- Nutmeg.
- Nonsense.

It's a good trick, though.

If you don't add seasoning,
you don't eat as much.

You don't put on weight.

I take Lorazepam.

In the last two weeks,
I've gained 13 pounds as a result.

It doesn't matter
if you're depressed and slim

or depressed and fat.

I don't wear make-up anymore either.

I still wear make-up.

Each of us only needs to disclose
what we feel comfortable with.

I'm Maike.

She/her.

I'm 25 years old
and together with my partner,

cis straight male,
Asian background, Jason,

I'm the owner of the agency Vaginality.

We used to be called Boost2BeBest.

I majored in African studies,
communication science and management.

And I've now been in charge for...

- Three years.
- Three years, yes.

My God.

If you do the math, Maike would have had
to start studying when she was five.

My name is Cari.

My parents are from New Jersey,
I grew up in the Bronx and Frankfurt.



I worked for a long time
on a cultural project,

dealing with the land reclamation
of the Californian Nisenan people.

Then I moved into the private sector,
working on a project with Sony.

- Yes, Sony. I know them.
- Yes?

Yes.

In what division did you work?

I've just got old headphones
that no longer fit my ears.

I...

In the CLAP division.

Well.

Right?

I was active
in the London techno scene,

and in an urban gardening micro-block.

After that, I was a literature scout
for q*eer poetry in northern Europe.

- Cool.
- And you?

Well, so...

I'm Helene, she/her.

I was born on July 6, 1997,
on the same day as Maike.

I come from here.

And from Languedoc.

So 50 percent here,


On the one hand...

I'm a chef, specializing
in experimental micro-aromas

at the Kitchen University of LAMB.

And I'm also an independent lawyer

and a freelance... nu-mi-nu gadget.

And in my spare time, I work as a tree.

- As a tree?
- Yes, as a tree.

As in climate protection?

No, as in a tree.

As in nature religion?

No, as in a tree.

- Good.
- Cool.

Great. Good.

Cool.

There you have our ideas.

And what do you do for a living?

- I'm not at liberty to say.
- Tell us.

- No.
- Are you a celebrity or something?

No, so...

You really can't tell anyone, okay?

Because otherwise there's no point.

I'm from the Public Health Department.

And you've had enough
of all the food inspections?

That's what made you depressed?

No, I'm carrying out an inspection
to see if all is running smoothly.

There have been accusations
against Berg-Berth,

saying his methods are outdated.

So you're kind of undercover?

Exactly.

My name's not Helene Sternberg either.
I'm an undercover patient.

My real name is Dörte Frese.

- Okay, cool.
- Yes.

I'm a painter and a varnisher.

And why are you all here?

Let me guess.

You were left by your husband
on Tenerife.

Now the villa feels
awfully big and lonely.

You play Chopin once a day,
for yourself, alone on the piano.

But that pisses you off.
And that's why you're depressed.

We don't talk about our symptoms
in the kitchen area.

Right.

Yes.

Right, you're a former speed skater.

You can no longer skate
due to a leg fracture,

so you have no purpose in life.

You experimented with Buddhist ideas,

but ultimately found them
to be illogical.

Then you ended up
watching so much porn online,

that your sensory system
could no longer cope with reality.

And you...

I can't see anything,
because when I look at you,

a song starts, the kind
truckers listen to on their break.

Helene?

Would you like to share
an unconventional idea with us?

Just go for it.
And don't worry, we can talk trash here.

- We love trash.
- Anything goes.

- Just spit out what's inside you.
- Yes, just spit it out.

So, exactly what's in my head
right now?

Exactly.

What are you reading?

The Dimension Next to the Dimension.

That's cosmology, right?

Like, it's possible this and that are
there, but if not, that's possible too.

And at that moment, because you thought
it was possible, it's good.

I'm Helene. I'm new here.

And I feel as if I know you somehow,
without knowing where from.

Maybe I'm just imagining you.
Is that possible?

But you're right here.

Oh, well.

Bonjour.

Hello.

Well, we meet again.

Yes.

I feel as if I've been playing hooky
again.

I have to say, looking back,
that was truly brilliant.

I remember very fondly
the illnesses you invented,

so you wouldn't have to go to school.

Fecal-retromaninous-excretory disorder.

The internal lice?

Yes, the internal lice.
I remember those as well.

Ms. Sternberg,
how are your parents?

My father found out
I'm not attending Law School.

And?

He says he always suspected as much,

and that crappy Law
isn't good enough for me.

And my mother has triplicated herself
using modern medicine.

- Triplicated?
- Yes.

She's had twins implanted.

That's probably why
she showed up at my place,

to make sure I'd function
in her new, happy family.

There was that court hearing.

Yes, I can see that in my documents.

Yes, I wasn't there. I haven't opened
any letters in three months.

This is my 26th call.
Give me a sign, Helene.

This is Mom. We have someone here
who wants to talk to you.

Helene, sweetie,
I'll be out of rehab tomorrow.

I look ten years younger. I thought
we could go on a bit of a bender.

Why?

It was a scientific experiment.

Yes. What happens if I cut myself off
from all external influences?

You know about Diogenes in his barrel?

Rings a bell, yes.

Well, what happened is that I ended up
here, in this cuckoo's nest.

- Cuckoo's nest?
- Yes.

A correctional center.

What did you write down?

These are just my notes.
They're not relevant.

Come on, tell me. Otherwise,
I won't tell you anything else.

- They're not important.
- Go on.

- No.
- Come on.

- No.
- Please.

- No, I can't.
- You can.

- No!
- Yes!

No!

It became clear, my therapy
wasn't going to be a walk in the park...

Yes.

For Berg-Berth.