01x07 - Tina-Turner-Tage

[bunniefuu]

I'm a blackbird who sees
two eagles circling above her nest.

Two eagles who say,
"We're just checking up on you,

keep an eye on you, in inverted commas."

The blackbird says,

"I've cleaned and tidied,

but I'm dead drunk."

I suppose she's just forgotten it
yet again.

Actually, she doesn't forget anything.

She's probably just creating a disaster,
has to put out a fire,

and is causing water damage
by putting the fire out.

Seriously now:

what made you think
she'd change anything?

I don't know. I've no idea. Günther.

What about him?

He's not long for this world.

It really stinks here!

As if someone left
something in the oven too long.

-Huh?
-You know, I think

-there's smoke coming out of the window.
-Are they Sinti next door?

-Well, I don't think so.
-Not that I have anything against Sinti.

TINA TURNER DAYS

I'm back again.

At last.

You can't listen to Tina Turner
for two days on end again!

Huh?

What have you eaten?

Nothing? You just lay there
listening to Tina Turner?

I guess, these are
the so-called "Tina Turner days"?

Or years.

Mhm.

You better listen to this.

If we fill each up to a third
with the mass...

Fill them up like this, you know?
...we'll come up with...

...a 43% profit margin,
and that would actually be pretty good.

TO: GÜNTHER STERNBERG.
FROM: DR DAUMANN, CARDIOLOGIST.

CARDIAC EXAMINATION.
FURTHER INVESTIGATION RECOMMENDED!

NO ABNORMALITIES...

NO ABNORMALITIES WERE DETECTED!

Did you hear it?

All of it.

I'll type it up and send it
to the public prosecutor's office.

-Hey!
-Cooee!

When I look at Spellart's
pair of temples,

they won't notice I'm utterly pissed.

Oh, nice! Thank you for bringing a wine.

Yeah...

So...

Yes?

Where do we start?

Why don't you eat first?

Okay.

It's species-appropriate.

Fully organic.

How are your tomatoes?

Huh? Um...

How was the last Tatort episode?

Are you still wakeboarding?

So...

-I've been thinking a lot, Helene.
-Yes.

Um...

I've made mistakes.

I wanted everything to get
on the right track. You. Günther.

But following these incidents,
I just wanted some distance first.

Have some more... rocket.

Yes, with pleasure.

And what your mother actually...

We sort of want...

...to give a boost to you.

Aid.

A stimulus.

A boost.

I've just said that.

Yes. We've always figured

if we see you

getting on with your life,

we'll give you something.

-Yes.
-And now,

-with your graduation...
-Yes!

Congratulations! From me also. Yes.

Well, I always knew you had it in you
to become an academic...

...even if your intellectuality

was directed against me at first.

And your genius, such...

Andreas wishes

the two of you had
an open and progressive relationship.

-Huh?
-Yes.

It's especially important to me
that you know...

...you don't have to worry.

We're thriving.

Andreas has had a very good idea.

A product.

Mhm. In a way, it's something like...

-...chlorine-based bleach?
-Yeah.

...for the back door.

Let's just say it:

it removes all acne, boils and
discolouration from the an*s.

-Yes.
-Permanently.

Well, people want to look nice
down below and from behind too.

We've just sold another big batch.
That's why we'd like to give you...

Nonsense!

Come!

We'll just show you your boost.

Huh?

Uh-huh.

A new chapter for you.

Yeah, and we can end the old ones now.

Vera has asked you
to be her friend on Facebook again.

Well, I'm assuming you won't tag me
in photos anymore, right?

And even if...

But really important to us

is transparency.

Yes.

Not an invented life,...

but your real one.

The real Helene.

The law graduate

who faces up to things.

Do you have an appointment?

Can you tell Vera to come out, please?

Vera doesn't have time and
she doesn't have eczema.

Thanks.

I'll be right there.

By the way, I have a boyfriend too.
His name is Larillo, he's from Bolivia.

It will work out with...

...us communicating and...

...and transparency.

Come here!

We're there for you, Helene, okay?

Um...

Okay. Well, is there a...

...specific reason

why we're talking right now?

Well, is it...

...because of Oskar?

Also.

But... Ahem... We have another bit of
news.

A very small bit.

A small round bit.

-We...
-...are pregnant.

Yes.

Um...

You are pregnant, Mum.

Or is Dr Spellart a hermaphrodite?

It's important to us...

that you know...

you're still just as dear to us
when they're here.

-"Is".
-Huh?

When she is here.

...my little sister.

Um... They .

Two.

Two sisters.

Twins.

-Two.
-Well.

Um...

I... Um...

...think it's... Um...

...really, really lovely!

-How does all this work, technically?
-Well, it's actually quite simple.

Yes,
with an intracytoplasmic sperm injection.

With a so-called "ICSI".

What simply happens
is stimulation with hormones

and then...

five eggs are collected

and the sperm is injected into them.

Well...

intracytoplasmically, in a test tube.

And then...

the embryo...

is later, with a hypodermic needle,...

...placed in...

-...the womb.
-Uh-huh.

"Placed"?!

Yes. It...

-Huh?
-Huh?

-Mhm.
-Yes.

"Placed".

CONFIDENTIAL DODUMENTS.

What does it mean is
it coming to an end?

An end can also be a beginning.

HEART FOUNDATION. SURGERY COMPASS.

CLINICS. HEART TRANSPLANT. p*nis PUMPS.

Gary and Lou!

Cool!

I love you,
you love me too!

Cool!

That's logical!

A happy couple is exactly what he
always wanted to be, but what he lost.

How amazing!

Dad.

Hey.

Come.

Step.

So, you freak:

"He's not long for this world"?

Out of the question!

Did you get that?

ART OPENING LLEWELLYN REICHMAN.
OSKAR AND 258 OTHERS HAVE CONFIRMED.

I've been single for five years now.

Djamila, can you check 47? There's a
box cutter and the hairspray is too big.

That's why I'm focussing on a totally
new type of man to try my luck at now.

-Tell me about it.
-Keyword: roll it out.

Uh-huh.

There's a very attractive...

...wheelie on Instagram

I've exchanged DMs with.

Okay.

I mean,
this idea is actually quite romantic:

to roll around
with your boyfriend all day.

And I also think that...

...a wheelchair user is faithful.

I've never heard of a wheelchair user
who is cheating.

Bullshit!

The next one, do you see him?

Keep the button in your ear,

and I'll tell you what to say to him.

-Okay.
-Let's go!

Good morning!

No more than 100 ml, okay?

Well, if it's 102 ml, I won't k*ll you.

Nice weather today, right?

Don't talk unless I say so.

There you are. Roger!

Pardon me?

I won't say anything,
if you don't, Helene.

Just don't say anything.
Wait. I'll look at him now.

He's wearing a blouse which tells

his last relationship
ended while listening to Place To Be.

Ask him about Place To Be.

How about Place To Be?

Eh?

Seriously, this is really spooky!

What do you mean?

Can I?

-Sure.
-But I have...

...a lot of earwax.

My ceruminous glands are overactive,

so my ears are regularly blocked up.
Then I can't hear very well.

Now shut up and put it in.

All right, I'll put it in.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

It's a nice song.

How did you know this?

-I guessed.
-You looked a lot like Place To Be.

You looked a lot like Place To Be.

Besides, your long fingers
remind me of Canary Island pines.

And you have such nice, long fingers.
They remind me of Canary Island pines.

You're crazy.

Of course I'm crazy.

All interesting people are crazy.

Of course I'm crazy.
All interesting people are crazy.

Adios!

Adios!

You're really good! Unbelievable!

I bet you have a happy relationship,
the way you empathise with people.

Yes.

Over the moon.

So happy, that my so called "boyfriend"

stood me up and...

confirmed to attend an opening on
facebook without even inviting me

You aren't really into art openings
and such stuff, are you?

I think I am. Why not?

Because you're attending one tonight,
and didn't ask me to come, you n*zi!

And here?

-What is this one called?
-Um... Karl.

I think, Karl is a woman.

It's still Karl.

"It's still Karl." Okay, you're right:

Karl's perfect.

Hi, Karl.

What do you think

does Karl think
when we're looking at him like this?

Well, not a lot is known about turtles.

Why they move where. Whether they
follow the ocean currents or...

the magnetic field or...

the penetrating light.

What they follow.

-Did you just google that?
-No.

Yes, you did.

Yeah.

Wait.

You can't be serious!

We're taking it home.

Helene, put it back now!

But it can be a symbol for our love!

Free like the ocean!

While swimming, follow the Earth's
magnetic field, the penetrating light!

Stop talking like you're in a film
trailer! I still think you're cool, okay?

Put it back!

-Okay.
-Now!

Yes.

Excuse me?

What are you doing?

Um... Um, yeah, I'll be right there!

Not right now. Just a minute, I have
to...

Get out of the enclosure
or I call the police!

She was just about to return the turtle.

Okay.

This one.

-I'm sorry.
-I'm calling the police.

Okay. Yes.

-Yes.
-Good.

There's nothing you can do.

-Yes.
-She's sorry.

It's true, right? You are sorry?

This woman has commitment issues.

When she loves something, it's difficult
for her to let it go, you know? She...

She wants to own it.
She doesn't make compromises.

But we... ...we're working on it,
and she's making progress

She has just said,
she'd like to return the turtle.

And she'll be happy to do that now.

Is that right, Helene?

I am...

I'm her carer.

Don't call me.

I'll call you .

Helene.

Unfortunately, these things aren't
really suitable for dramatic exits.

Hey, Maike!

I'm also invited to
that art opening tomorrow,

so I wanted to ask you, why...

...don't we go together?

...really a beautiful...

...world inside her.

But...

what exactly...

did you think of?

Well... Um...

I think...

it would...

help her a lot,

if she did something like a coaching.

Someone who really sees her potential.

Someone who really supports her?

Someone who understands that she...

Yeah, that she's just special?

After all, it's also... Um...

...important to understand that she's
very...

...very much in need of love.

It is...

Now then.

I know a coach

who works a lot
with people with attachment disorders.

Yeah? That's... That's good.

-Yes?
-Yes.

Well...

All of us...

Especially also Vera and I.

...are anxious...

...that she stays with us.

But the way it's now...

...all this will go belly up of course.

-Mhm.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

What she needs is our...

help.

Yes.

I'll make us another green tea now.

-Yes.
-Thank you.

Well, a good friend of mine is
a coach and psychotherapist and...

...she works a lot with people
returning from the w*r in Afghanistan.

-Wow!
-Ah.

Amazing!

Yes.

Well, we can discuss again
who exactly we recommend.

-Yeah, that's... That's good.
-Yes-

I'll open a WhatsApp group, okay?

Cooee, Helene!
Cooee, Helene! Cooee, Helene!

-Is everything all right?
-No.

Seriously, no?

There were people here.

What?

When I was walking.

What?

They took the whole jewellery,

your inheritance.

Um...

Who knows where your jewellery is?

And... And...

when you go walking?

I've no idea!

Actually just you and...

And Lou!

Lou?

And Gary.

Okay.

They wanted to know exactly where
everything was: bedding, closets,

what's inside them...

sh*t.

But they don't know where I live.

They don't have my address.

It couldn't have been them.

You know,
it wasn't about the f*cking jewellery.

What I want is
for you to have some seed money.

I'll make it up to you, Daddy.

What?

I'll make it all up.