01x04 - Eu sou o Eu sou

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Damned Saint…

…my tragedies, I wouldn't be here today.

Many of you know that this is Sinval,
my blood brother.

Don't leave me here, Sinval!
Don't leave me here!

Is what you have to tell me
hiding behind those sunglasses

and long sleeves?

Sônia forgot these. She comes to church
and her husband goes to the bar.

Dad, maybe this is a cry for help.

The Word of God is powerful.

Hélio's changed, Pastor.

We're going to the next
Prophets of Faith sermon together.

I need to go, Enzo.

A little longer.

My mom's home alone.
I need to go, seriously.

That won't fly at the party.

Bye.

DAMNED SAINT

Pastor King
will collect the offerings today.

"God loves…"

"A cheerful giver!"

Humankind's most difficult task
is enduring reality,

so we close our eyes and amble on
like wandering shadows.

It's nearly impossible to know who we are,

because knowing who I am

means facing the void,
the end, the nothingness.

How do we avert our gaze
from this unbearable truth?

By believing. By having faith.

Instead of looking toward
the abyss below us,

we invent a God above us.

But who are we?

Saints, demons?

CHAPTER 4
I AM who I AM

God is faithful

There's fewer people here every day.
Have you noticed?

They're all going to
Pastor Samuel's little church, huh?

Have you talked to the new pastor yet?

The miracle guy?

Not yet.

You answered my phone, Mom?

Please just forget this, okay?
It's just part of the research I'm doing.

Also, Clara and Gabi don't need
to know about this, okay?

Do you think all this is linked
to what happened at that school?

What happened in school?

-You really don't remember? Nothing?
-What are you talking about?

You can't keep hiding from
what you are, Son!

What you did to Clara was--

It was a coincidence, Mom.

Don't look for things that don't exist.

Your path leads to God.

Pastor!

Praise the Lord!
I'm glad I found you here still.

I was thinking back there
and God touched my heart.

For you, Pastor. To drive home.

If it helps you, it'll help us too.

What? You're giving me your car?

Actually, it's just a loan.

When you no longer need it,
you can give it back.

-Excuse me, who's this elegant woman?
-I'm his mother.

Very nice to meet you.

-And this pretty girl?
-Carolina.

You're so beautiful!

Thanks to God and Pastor King,
Carolina is now on the right path.

-Please, Pastor.
-I'm sorry, but I can't accept it.

It's from the bottom of my heart.
For everything you've done for us.

Take them, Pastor.

"The joys, the victories, the pleasure,

are like debt for a soul
that feels guilty about being happy."

THE KEY TO THE ABYSS

What do you think?

I don't know how you did it,
but you overcame your writer's block.

This right here is powerful.

Your book is going to stand out
among all the showboating intellectuals.

I don't write for the acclaim, Caiuby.

Truthfully, this topic has been
haunting me for a long time, as you know.

And Clara?

Did she like it?

Clara was shot. She almost died.

Road rage. A stray b*llet.
But she's okay. She's better.

You're just telling me this now?
I need to visit Clara.

No. Not yet.

Hi, Pastor. Make yourself comfortable.

Peace be with you, Fabinho.

Here's the money I owe you. Some of it.

Look, the cr*pple's stiffing us again,
that son of a b*tch.

It's short.

I'll pay the rest next month, okay?

Yeah.

But now the fee is doubled.

Things are looking up, huh, Pastor?
More visitors now, right?

You know the neighborhood
better than me, Brother.

They're all humble, poor people.

They're going there
to improve their lives.

But if I lower the rate for you,
Joca, the grocer, will say the same thing,

Skinny, who owns the bar,
will say the same thing,

the bishop from the other church.

Don't make my life difficult, Pastor.

Amen, Brother.

Can I leave a few of these here?

PROPHETS OF THE FAITH CHURCH

Someone could come in and see them.

This could change many lives.

I've already asked for your forgiveness!

I'm repentant, man.

God sees your repentance.

These guys took me in. What about you?

If your church doesn't work out,
who's gonna take you in?

"A faithful person
must believe in something.

And when we believe with so much love,
our conviction manifests reality.

But how does one wrench love
from people's hearts

without being inhumane?

With more love."

-I like it!
-You do, honey?

Nice! And what did you think, Clara?

Reinaldo, are you in front of the light?

Me? Why?

-Because I sense a shadow.
-Really?

-You can sense this?
-Mom! This is great, right?

It's a sign that your sight's coming back.

Oh, I hope so, honey.

Oh, yay!

Uh, but tell me, Clara,
what did you think?

Where's that fervent atheism?

Did you not like it, Mom?

No, I liked it, honey.

It's beautiful.
But, I don't know, it's different.

There's less anger, more understanding.

And you, Dad? Did you read hers?

Your dad's not interested
in this kind of thing.

That's not it. I haven't had time.
I want to read it carefully.

I don't want you to read it anymore,
Reinaldo.

Hold on, Mom. Be right back. Dad?

-Dad.
-Huh?

-What's going on with you two?
-It's nothing. Forget it. Let it go.

Dad! Listen.

I-- I need some money.

The gym thing?
Don't worry, I'll handle it.

No, my life isn't just the gym, Dad.

I need money because
I want to buy a dress for this party.

Honey, I'm working so much overtime
to pay off our debt.

I can't afford to buy
a new dress right now, okay?

But I need one.

-What's up, D?
-What's up, bro?

-Fabinho said to get rid of this sh*t.
-Let me see.

More, more.
I need more paper to wrap these K pills.

Let's send our customers to heaven!

Are you crazy, man?

You messing with the church, bro?

f*ck, the Devil's coming for you at night.

-I'm protected.
-Rebuked in the name of Jesus!

Are you tripping, bro?

Prophets of the Faith Church

Thank you, blessed one.

Peace be with you, servant of God.

And also with you, Bishop Joyce.

So small, but so tidy, huh?

Very interesting.

The heat's an issue though, huh?

Yeah, glory of God!

I heard about the new pastor's arrival.

I've heard his sermons are passionate.

A blessing.

So, is he here?

You guys need to pay me
a little visit at the Tabernacle.

We serve the same community, Pastor.

We need to talk a little.

Yes.

We'll schedule it.

We'll schedule it.

And, what's-his-name,

is he on his way?

Pastor King.

But he's not coming today.

I like this little place, you know?

But, gosh, you need to invest some money
to better glorify the name of the Lord.

Please tell the pastor who performs
miracles I want to talk with him.

Have a little chat over tea.

Who knows? Maybe I can help.

Get an air conditioner in here.

Peace be with you, Samuel.

And also with you.

Don't worry, Gabi,
I got you a six-month plan.

Ah, Dad. Thanks.

Geez, Dad.
There weren't any better rentals?

It's not a rental.
It's my friend's.

Got it.

Hey, Dad?

Have you found Jesus?

-It's for my research.
-Oh.

Pretty soon you'll be confused
for a pastor, huh?

Do I look like a pastor?

Hmm.

Put your hand on the Bible.

-Gabi, we need to go.
-Go on, do it.

Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth,

and nothing but the truest true truth?

I swear.

Do you promise you won't ask

how the party was, who went,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

-I swear.
-Okay, then.

-When's the party?
-Sunday.

-Where?
-They rented a house.

Whose parents will be there?

Uh-uh.

You're not fulfilling your oath,
are you, Dad?

Hmm.

-Come on, honey, let's go.
-Okay, I have one more question then.

Hmm?

Do you swear you'll never lie to me again?

I swear.

Okay.

Have you read this whole thing?

Cover to cover.

Wow! It must be so boring.

In the Bible, God appears and says,

"I am who I am."

While the Devil says, "I am a legion."

The problem with faith is not the lone man
on his knees praying.

The problem is that millions are straying
from the truth and spreading lies.

The Devil's probably pleased.

- Good job.
- Thank you.

Very good. I'd like to introduce Marcelo.

Marcelo, how are you?

You don't look very excited.

It's a little hard to be excited
in my situation, you know?

I can imagine.

Sorry, I was remembering
when you were a teenager

seduced by her teacher's words.

I'm not a teenager anymore,
and Reinaldo is no longer my teacher.

Yeah. Indeed.

-And the doctorate? How's it going?
-I dropped out.

Ah, of course, of course.
You couldn't keep writing.

I dropped out
because I'm writing a fiction book.

-Fiction, really?
-Mm-hmm.

I'd love to read it.
Of course, if you'd let me.

Do you really mean that?

See that?

See what?

See that it's not actually that hard
to show emotions.

Where are you taking me, Reinaldo?

Relax. I already said it's a surprise.

I'm getting worried.

Relax, love. Trust me.

Slowly, like that. We're almost there.

Come on.

More stairs here. Just one step.

Yep. Let's sit here.

- Here?
- Yep!

Do you know where we are?

-Where?
-Where it all started.

I can't believe you did this.

The place is all ours.

-What if someone shows up?
-That's the best part, the danger!

This is our fresh start.

-When did you get this?
-Get what?

-This tattoo.
-Tattoo? I don't have a tattoo.

Hey, baby. I know that
what you're going through is hard.

But we'll get back to how we used to be.

Come here. I miss you so much.

-Stop. Stop!
-Come here.

Stop, Reinaldo! Stop!

I can't be there at that time.

I'm taking my daughter to a party.

- Gabi, what's the address?
- Alípio Dutra, in Morumbi.

Your inner eyes see things
much further away

-than your eyes--
-Look at my new dress!

- Honey, I'm recording here.
- Oh! Sorry, Mom. I didn't know.

You're wearing something new?

Where did you get the money
to buy that dress?

Uh, it's not mine.
I borrowed it from Laura.

Mom, I look so pretty
in a red ruffled dress.

- It's bright and super cute! I'm gorgeous!
- Let's go, Gabi!

-But it's too early now.
-I have some stuff to do.

-What do you have to do?
-That's my business.

Hmm. Geez. Aren't you going to ask
what he has to do, Mom?

No, honey.

Let's go?

Then I won't go with you.
I haven't even done my makeup yet.

-Gabi, you asked me to take you!
-Relax!

-I'll get a ride from Laura's dad, then.
-Don't worry, Reinaldo. We'll handle it.

-Our communication is just stellar!
-Hmm.

-Honey?
-Huh?

You don't need to lie to me.

Oh, relax, Mom. I'm not lying, okay?

sh*t, look who's here!

What's up, dawg?

What's up, bro?

-You good?
-I'm good, bro.

Gabi, this is Téo.

How's it going?

-All good?
-Nice to meet you.

-Téo.
-Gabi.

Want some?

No, thanks.

-Wow, such a little princess. So pure…
-Oh, stop, Enzo.

Stop. Stop it.

Oh, my God.

"God is smoke…

a puff of reality, and then He disappears.

That's why, many times,
when people stray from God,

it's as if taking their breath away."

You may be late,
but at least you came well prepared.

Who said you could touch this?

Is it just me
or are you close to converting?

-Accepting your proposal made me--
-Believe in a higher power.

Inspired to write my book.

It was good to take a close look at faith.

But now it's done.

I'm more than relieved
that this is the last sermon.

Are you sure it'll be your last?

Let's start the music
and get this over with.

Pastor?

Be real with them.

- Tell him about your fighting.
- Oh, yeah. I do tae kwon do.

Oh, you fight? Awesome.

Yeah. I fought in
the South American championship this year.

Sweet!

-I'm a brown belt in Judo.
-Wow.

She'd kick your a*s for sure!

- You think?
- For sure.

You down, Gabi? Want a bump?

-No.
-Just a little one. It won't do anything.

No, I don't want to, thanks.

BIBLE

Who are you?

I am…

Huh?

-…I am your protector.
-No! No, no, no.

But from the looks of it…

…no more than Him.

BIBLE

Many people have died
because of this little book.

But you,

it saved you.

Do you think living is luck?

Living is not luck.

Each of us has a mission.

You, for example.

Samuel, sooner or later,
you're going to turn a corner

and come face to face with
the "Prophet of the New Word."

At first,
he'll just seem like one of those…

…ordinary men.

But one who can make the sky
come crashing down

as if it were
a badly-installed plaster ceiling.

And from all of this,
only nothingness will remain.

"Easter,"

in Portuguese,
comes from the Hebrew word "Pesach"…

…which means "passage".

I AM WHO I AM

But what passage are we talking about?

From pain to joy?

From emptiness to hope?

Or the most difficult passage of them all:

from who we were to who we have become?

Praise the Lord!

Jesus learned while walking in the desert.

My desert was Jardim Inês.

- Hallelujah!
- Praise the Lord!

I learned more here

than when I was holed up in a room
surrounded by books.

Maybe--

Maybe what we call a "miracle"

is just that which we don't know.

Because it makes more sense
to believe in something

than to believe in nothing.

Maybe the desire to believe in an answer

is the answer in and of itself.

Because when we desire something,
with true passion,

that conviction manifests reality.

Praise God! Hallelujah!

You believed in me…

and I ended up becoming…

someone else.

No one stays the same
when faced with the abyss.

No one!

Are you okay?

- What's up?
- Ju!

Chill. All good?

-Hey.
-What's up?

Was it you guys
who left the dealer waiting?

- What dealer?
- No.

No? Then it's ours.

What's that?

Let's find out.

Come on, come on.

-Take this!
-What is it? Relax, relax.

I no longer recognize the man I once was.

Today,

I am who I am thanks to you.

Praise God! Hallelujah!

Glory be to God!

Excuse me, Pastor.

Peace be with you, everyone.

♪ You are my refuge ♪

♪ My fortress ♪

♪ Oh, my God, in whom I trust ♪

♪ I shall rest under Your shadow ♪

♪ My Father ♪

♪ He is my shelter ♪

♪ No harm will come to me ♪

♪ Oh, my God, in whom I trust ♪

♪ I shall rest under Your shadow ♪

…ye shall attain the crown of glory.

If not for my tragedies,
I wouldn't be here today.

Ah! Now the party's started!

♪ Oh, my God, in whom I trust ♪

♪ I shall rest under Your shadow ♪

♪ I don't fear the terror of night ♪

♪ He protects my steps ♪

♪ My Father ♪

♪ He is my shelter ♪

♪ No harm will come to me ♪

♪ Oh, my God, in whom I trust ♪