01x04 - Day of the Fish

[bunniefuu]

We join our stalwart hero trapped in a

band of hyper steel with the Evil Queen

pulsating, bloated, festering, sweaty,

pus filled, malformed slug for a bot

about to destroy him. You mean word

with your super suit. I will rule

the universe. Well, she can't be any

worse than the bozos who rule it now.

An excellent point, my jaded little chum.

But I still have to get free and defeat

her. Uh, can you reach my suit's pool

ring?Well, it's a stretch, but...

I've got you in Play-Doh suit.

Pressure unbearable. Going to pop like

overright fit.

HmmRun for it! She's gonna blow!

Once again, evil is as grasp beneath the

mighty lawnmower of justice. You're

creeping me out, Peter. Oh,

by the way, remind me never to inflato

suit again. I'm going to be gassy for a

month.

Earthworm Jim. The soil he did crawl.

Earthworm Jim. A super suit and fall. Jim

was just a dirt eating chewy length of

worm flesh. But all that came to a crash

again. Earthworm Jim. He's such

a groovy guy. Earthworm Jim. He rockets

through the sky. Groove through the

universe, having lots of fun. Here comes

Earthworm Jim. You know that he's a

mighty one.

Despite his great big muscles And his

really big gray g*n Jim is still an

earthworm But then he's the only one With

a super suit to make him really super

strong Jim can be a winner if we only

sing along All right Earthworm Jim We

think he's mighty fine Earthworm Jim A

hero for all time Earthworm,

earthworm, earthworm Earthworm Jim

Go, Ruby!

In the distant space station headquarters

of the astounding galactic hero lead,

Earthworm Jim battles impossible odds.

Now, my cunning foe, face the

invincible power of my awe-inspiring

Royal Flash.

I... got me to threaten you, James, but

if you don't stop winning, I'm going to

have to staple your lips to the floor.

But my delicate pastry of bliss, we

aren't even playing for money. That would

be a violation of our strict moral code.

And, you know, laws and junk. Besides, I

tire of games. A team like the Galactic

Hero League should do more than just play

poker on the weekends. Sometimes we have

bake sales. Ha! Poker, bake sales,

quilting bees. It's not enough. I crave

action. Action, I tell you. Action! Ah,

I get enough action during the week.

Ever since I became the mighty

hemstinator, evil stretchy cheat foe,

it's been nothing but thwart evil, thwart

evil, thwart evil. Cappuccino's ready.

Sorry, but we've run out of sugar.

No sugar. by the great worm spirit,

whose slime burns with the unquenchable

fire of righteousness. This looks like a

job for Earthworm Gem! Oh,

ohh boy, action at last.

Fear not, stout comrades. I shall hasten

boldly to the nearest planet and borrow

the necessary dextrose crystals.

Toot-sweet!

Hey, isn't the nearest planet the one

with that crazed worm eating fish?Yeah,

what's your point?Just making

conversation. Meanwhile, on

La Planeta de Agua,

that mastermind of evil, Bob,

addresses his underlings. Oh, watery

denizens of La Planeta de Agua.

It is I, your master, the

mighty Bob, lord of all I

survey. Hear me, the day

of the fish is at hand.

The dramatic gesture. Do the dramatic

gesture. Go

forth, my aquatic minions. Go forth

and destroy. Destroy. Destroy! I

said destroy. Don't

Don't just swim there now. Please.

Destroy a little. Come on. Break some

windows. Please. Make a big old fuss.

Oh, what's a use?Hey, I'm...

pace around or something, would you give

me a little sort of... There you go. If

only I weren't stuck in this stupid bowl,

I'd conquer the universe! Oh, what I

wouldn't have to have huge, powerful arms

and legs, even mechanical ones!

Or at least a nice, big, juicy worm.

Howdy, neighbor! Spare a cup of sugar for

a big, juicy worm with powerful,

mechanical arms and legs?Says

ham!

Hey, that wasn't very neighborly.

Huh You cannot penetrate my indomitable

mental shield.

Ow!

Hey, no fair.

Reinforcements!

Five, six, seven. What happened to one,

two, and three?Sadly, they have

gone where all cats go.

Uh, under the house?No, to kitty heaven,

where the milk flows like water and all

the mice are slow. Come on. Sweet.

You want to taste some mice?Nah, they're

all too slow. Where's a sport?

HmmNice kitties. Pretty

kitties. Don't mutilate them too

badly. I want to have them for dinner.

Now that's more the neighborly spirit,

but you really shouldn't go to the

trouble. Not as a guest, you ambasire!

As a... The

main course. At least you've got

good taste. We

go now to the planet Hek, where Evil the

cat, foe of virtue, worships at the altar

of vileness. I'm just watching

TV. Same thing.

Cats love tender organs with its

oh so delectable blend of sawdust, ash,

and genuine beef spleens.

What is this strange feeling coming over

me?That cat.

So perfect.

So innocent.

She must be mine.

Boss in love. Love back.

Thank you. I will woo her

and then I will turn her to

the dark side.

Oh, I am so innocent. Will you

teach me the ways of the world?

I will teach you the ways of.

Evil.

I revel in the glory of the dark

side. Come, let us destroy

the universe together. Ah,

sweet romance.

Soon I, the king of

villainy, will have a queen.

Can Hetrick come, boss?No, I

alone may go, for I alone

am evil.

How'd your date go, boss?Does

this answer your question?And

now, back to Earthworm Jim.

The ferocious space cats close in

menacingly on our hapless hero.

You force me to use the most powerful

weapon of all!

Strategic retreat!

Follow that mail!

So, there you are, young cat.

Up to new good, ehYour mother and I are

very disappointed in you.

Very disappointed.

But me no buts, little mister. Go to your

room this instant, and no supper for you.

I never get to have any fun. Hmm

oh I can't do it. Too easy.

I'll feel better about myself tomorrow if

I fight this fair and square.

I must warn you, I am a master of the

marital arts.

Hi-yah! Uh, you know I meant martial

arts, right?

Hey, this calls for

Lip Jitsu.

I think what I like best about my job is

meeting new people. And of course,

pummeling them senseless. Oh, a

tough melee.

How many times have I told you I am not

to be used as a projectile?

What?

Fishing suit, fishing suit. Whee,

earthworm chain. Whoa.

Holding my water in this baby's tricky,

but... Otherwise, this suit is great.

I'd like to thank you for it. I mean, I'm

still gonna eat you, but nonetheless,

thanks. Having ends has really freed up

my evil creativity. Already,

I have created three mighty warships.

The Driller, the Pounder,

and the Jomper. With

these ships, I will leave La Plante de

Aqua and conquer the

aforementioned universe. And I'm gonna

start with your home planet, the

Earth. Oh, well, it's nice

to be thought of first. While I'm gone,

prepare a victory feast. Nice

worm roast. You know, just like mother

used to make. There you go.

Say an hour, worm boy!

Will the earth be conquered by this

treacherous goldfish?Will Jim become

intimately acquainted with the fishy

digestive process?Can Peter

beat an inside straight?Not stinking

lightly. Stay tuned to find out.

We return to find our dauntless hero

about to become nothing more than a high

cholesterol snack. Howdy

you all Cajun style pot roast

made easy. Bob say I

make worm roast so I just pretend TV man

say worm when he say pot.

Gosh, that's clever. Okay, uh,

y'all, today we're gonna learn to make

the pot roast. Worm roast. How

we?It's gonna be, you know, y'all,

wondermus kind of thing. Hooey. Okay,

first step for a really bon bon,

Cajun-style pot roast. Worm roast. Is

you gotta preheat a large steel pot to



Preheat large steel worm to 400

scorchingdegrees. Hey, you not

steel. You are squishy soft.

Got to find Steel Worm. Hmm

Hey, there's one. Thanks.

You really get me out of jam there, Mr.

Squishy Soft Worm.

Don't mention

it. Hey, let's taste some

mice. Tenderfoot.

Free! But without my suit, I'm a

helpless worm fighting impossible odds to

save the universe! Groovy.

Ah ha! Hmm, I've never had to

work this without my hands before. Let's

try this.

Okay, how about this?

I have located what must be the seat of

the Earth's government. They have a funny

name for it, though. They call it an

aquarium.

This new attraction's really gonna

put Turlock on the map, eh,

Clem?Yeah. My you figure

they pick a little town like this to put

the world's biggest aquarium. I know.

Guess it makes more sense than when they

put that world-class university

here. Yeah, sure hope they gets

them a student someday.

Rollers of the earth!Let

the fish fry begin!

Ohh Hang on, come on. Let me get on out

here. Okay, here we go. Now.

Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

This is so boss. Finally, someone

destroys what I tell them to.

A talking goldfish. Wow, that would

really bring any crowds. I don't

know. The singing clam didn't do much

good. Ohh

Darn it, darn it, darn it, darn it, darn

it! Hello?

Suit?

Hmm, let's see.

Worm, tiny.

Whale, really big.

Oh, g*y, can't solve this with

violence. This requires education!

I'd like to learn to speak whale,

please. A student!

I'm proud to live in a country where

anyone, regardless of species, can buy a

college degree.

Now to ask for my suit back.

Ahem!

Hey, aren't you earthworm

Jim?I'll trade you

this suit for your autograph,

man.

I can't breathe. I must

find water. Uh-huh

Save.

Darn Soty Pop. How can anybody breathe

this stuff?

Excuse me. Oh, great. Now I'm gonna be

gatsy for a month. You ate

your cats! Get the worm! Get the worm!

Uh, excuse me. Back in the

suit and ready to rock! All

right, you feline fiends. You may have

beaten me before, but this time... Uh,

you won't. Eat

that foul engine of destruction!

Wrestle!

Fortunately, I learned the arcane secrets

of arm wrestling from monks in Tibet.

Don't

tell me. It's all in the wrist. Wow!

When were you in Tibet?Up

and wide!

OhhLots of decay there. That one

will have to come out.

Tell me, do you floss?

Look, guys, I can do balloon animals.

That goes in there. It's

supposed to be a dog. Man, I should

really practice before I start showing

off.

This worm is too mighty a foe.

We must return to La

Pernata de Agua.

I may be defeated, but at least I still

have my dignity.

Excuse me. And so our

courageous hero returns in triumph to the

Galactic Hero League. Oh, brave

fellows and my celestial fruit basket of

joy. Once again, I have saved the

universe from the dread clutches of evil.

That's nice. Where's the sugar?

Fear not, stout comrades. I shall hasten

boldly to the next nearest planet and

borrow the requisite granulated sweetener

post-haste.

Hey, isn't the next nearest planet the

one with that crazed worm-eating bird?

Yeah! I shall rule the universe. Bok,

bok, bok.