01x21 - Space Monkey

[bunniefuu]

Cape...? Cape...?

I can't quite think
of that other name.

If I could only remember.

-Come on, Chooch,
let's hurry it up.
CHOO-CHOO: Cape--

[CHOO-CHOO COUGHING]

-Cape--!
-What is it?

[COUGHING]

"C-A-N--" Canaveral!

That's it, T.C.
We're at Cape Canaveral.

But that's the place where they:

[ZOOMS]

Fellas, you know where we are?

-Cape, and get this, Canaveral.
-You mean, where they:

[ZOOMS]

-Uh-huh.
-And moreover, they--

[ZOOMS]

--with us in the zoomer.

♪ Top Cat! ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat! ♪

♪ Who's intellectual close
friends get to call him T.C. ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top Cat! ♪

♪ The indisputable leader
of the g*ng. ♪

♪ He's the boss, he's a pip,
he's the championship. ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ Yes he's a chief he's a king ♪

♪ But above everything
He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat! ♪

Wow! Sure gonna be hot today,
T.C.

Guess I better turn up
the air conditioner
a little more.

Look, junior,
that's the way girls swing.

We don't wanna be called
a sissy, now do we?

No, we don't. Pick up the beat
a little.

Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.
Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha. Get it?

Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.

Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.

Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.

Now you're coming.
Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.

Remind me to get the name
of that kid. He does good work.

BOY:
Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.

Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.
Cha, cha--

-Having a good time, sonny?
-Uh-huh.

Hey, this rope seems to be
slowing you down.

There you are.

What's this? I think
I smell a rat.

A Top Cat rat, that is.

Hey, it stopped.

Must be a power failure
along the line.

Come on, junior.
Cha, cha, cha-cha--

Cha?

Hold it. Hold it just like that,
Dibble. A shade more that way.

Oh, yes, I was right.
I win the bet.

You see, Benny? You see?
Officer Dibble's eyes
are definitely blue.

A dreamy azure.
A perfect robin's egg.

-Now--
-Oh, that Benny.

He was positive
they were a delicate hazel...

...with sparkling highlights
of heather.

But blue they are. Blue.

So glad you came by.
Scramble, fellas!

Just a minute.

There's one more thing about
my eyes you didn't mention.

-There's two of them?
-No.

That they are wide open,
very wide, and they see
everything.

Now, what's the idea
of that goofy swing?

Oh, that. Just cooperating
with the White House, sir.

All part of the national
physical-fitness program
for the youth of today.

Wait a minute.

So that's it.
Making the kids work for you.

Just harnessing natural energy,
Dib...

...like the government does
at Boulder Dam.

You ought to be ashamed.
All of you.

Just a bunch of d*adbeats.
Never do a lick of work.

Look at you.
Loafing all day long.

Loafing? Far from it.

They are participating
in a health program.

A concentrated effort
to help stamp out hypertension.

Yeah? Well, somebody
ought to stamp you guys out.

I got half a mind to run you all
in for vagrancy...

...unless one of you gets a job.

ALL:
A job?

A job?

Surely, blue eyes, you are
jesting.

You got exactly 24 hours
to find a job...

...or the city will find one
for you, making little rocks
out of big ones.

Oh, but, officer, we are
just trying to cooperate
with our president.

DIBBLE: Let me have that again.
-Don't you remember?

During the recession,
he appeared on TV...

...and he said the country needs
a million jobs.

-So we gave up ours.
-Never mind all that.
I have spoken.

A job or the cooler.

Gentlemen, it seems
we are face to face...

...with the grim specter
of employment.

-Now let's not be hasty, T.C.
-Uh, we can discuss this
calmly and, uh, sensibly.

Over a little game of,
like, uh..

Pool?

TOP CAT:
Very relaxing, if I do say so.

Counting this last game,
each of you owes me $62,000.

[LAUGHS]

What about getting that job
like what's-his-name said?

You mean Dibble?
Uh-oh, speak of the Dibble.

Well, uh, Good day,
Officer Dibble, sir.

How are you coming
on the job situation?

Oh! We've been so busy screening
all the offers pouring in.

Perhaps you could
help us choose.

I got news of my own.
I'm taking a new assignment.

Guard duty
at the space laboratory.

At least I'm going
to participate in something
worthwhile.

Something you guys
would never understand.

Oh, hold your tongue, Dibble.
We too believe in being partners
in progress.

Why, you rember when they
tested the X-15 rocket ship?

That will always be
a proud day for us.

You mean, you helped launch
the rocket ship?

Well, we didn't exactly help
but we didn't do a single thing
to stop them.

You guys ought to be ashamed.

Down at the space lab,
there's even a chimpanzee
holding down a job.

See there? Marvo the Chimp,
training for rocket flights.

Fine thing. A chimp is doing his
share and you guys just
sit around.

Here. Look at
the Help Wanted section.

What does he expect?

Does he want us to volunteer
for rocket rides like
that chimp?

"Marvo the Chimp
is given every possible comfort.

Air-conditioned rooms,
silk sheets, maid service...

...piped in music, and the best
of food prepared by
special chefs."

If that Dibble wants to play
big shot at the space lab,
let him go ahead.

"The chimp enjoys daily massages
and steam baths...

...in his own private
recreation room."

Him and that dumb chimp,
they make a great pair.

"Marvo is cared for
by a staff of servants...

...and travels in his own
limousine."

Why, anybody would be out of
their skull to get mixed up in--

Limousines? Who said limousines?
Come, come now, somebody said
limousines.

And that ain't a word I permit
to be bandied about loosely.

-I was just reading about
that chimp.
TOP CAT: Let me see that.

"Silk sheets.."

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

"Servants...."

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

"Massages"?

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

-"Special chefs"?!
-Yeah.

Anybody who volunteers
is a dope, T.C.,
just like you said.

Me? I said that? Now, don't go
twisting my words, Benny.

I think it's great work,
and I think we should volunteer
to help.

-Uh, to ride rockets?
-No rockets. Don't you get it?

We hang around
for the soft traing duty.

And then,
when rocket-riding time comes...

...we politely excuse ourselves,
turn in our silk sheets...

...and we depart with
fond memories.

-I don't know, T.C.
-You want all this wasted
on a chimp? A dumb animal?

I tell you, it'll be cushy.
And it'll get Dibble
off our back at the same time.

But gosh, being shot up
in a rocket?

I never did like a job
that involved a lot
of traveling.

I promise you,
we will never ride a rocket.

All we'll ride is a train.
The gravy train.

[SCATTING]

Halt! Oh, it's you, T.C.

Well, keep moving.
No vagrants allowed around here.

The correct title for me,
henceforth, is space ranger.

I come to volunteer
for rocket duty.

So the hot sun finally got
to you.

Maybe you'd better get back
under your fan, you phony.

Ooh, that hurts, Dibble.

That, and all your other
snide innuendos...

...to the effect that we are not
dedicated citizens...

...ready to serve
and give our all up there...

...beyond the far reaches
of the outer "galaxies."

You mean it?
You're volunteering for duty?

It's not a duty, Dibble.
It's a great privilege.

Gosh, Top Cat. Maybe I was
all wrong about you guys.

And though the path
be hazardous...

...we are lean and tough,
and strong in will.

From this moment,
we forsake all pleasure...

...and are prepared to face
a grueling test...

...of endurance, hardship
and sacrifice.

Forward, Spartans!

Pardon me, doctor,
but there is a group here--

No, no, no. Not now, Bernie.
No, don't disturb me.

-I think I've got it.
-You have?

Oh, that's nice. Got what?

What aerodynamics! Look.

Well, how about that?

-Yes, sir. Very good.
-Good? Good? It's perfect.

Tell the newspapers,
another successful launching.

About this group waiting,
there's a Mr. Top Cat--

Cat? Cat? Cat?
I don't know any Cat.

-Seems like a nice sort.
-But can't you see I'm busy?

The race for space.
You know, time is money.

I understand, sir.

But he represents a citizens
group. Perhaps a few moments?

Oh, well. All right. Eh, but
tell him to make it snappy.

I got a golf game at 11:00.

-This way, if you please,
Mr. Top Cat.
-All right, all right.

-What can I do for you?
-The question is, doc,
what can I do for you?

-How's that, Charlie?
-I come here with a small band
of patriots...

...to report for rocket
training.

What? You mean, you want to be
shot up in our rocket?

-Exactly.
-Why is it I always get
the kooks?

What the doctor means
is that we train
only chimpanzees.

Yes, that's right. That's
correct. Monkeys only.

-Don't you read the papers?
-Monkeys? When you have
volunteers of the highest type?

Think, gentlemen, think.

Was it a chimp
who made the midnight ride...

...sounding the alarm
to Lexington and Concord?

No, no, no, but in those days--

Were there baboons
at Fort Ticonderoga?

Did orangutans charge up
San Juan Hill?

Were there apes
defending the Alamo?

They were not, gentlemen.

Those there were patriots
and there are still
some of us around.

Well, I have to say one thing
about this crazy character:

He's got spunk.

Yes. Men of courage still exist.

I give you these new patriots.

[YANKEE DOODLE PLAYING]

TOP CAT:
There you are, sir.
Instant Minutemen, Local 76.

"Lafayette, we are here."

How about them apples?
What'll we do, doc?

I-- I-- I don't know.

There's nothing in the pamphlet
about a situation like this.

BERNIE: You could ask a higher
authority.
-I can't. My wife's out of town.

Suppose we give them
a teeny-weeny try?

Well, well, all right.

But if you break a leg
or something, don't come running
to me.

-It seems you are accepted.
-g*ng: Hooray!

Just one thing. Since we're
set up to train a chimp...

...you have to live under
the same conditions he does.

The same conditions, huh?
Well, I guess we can take it.

-Ha-ha-ha!
-You fellows certainly
are true-blue.

Now, if your boys
will just take our luggage...

...we'll go up and relax
in our suite.

And no reporters, please,
until after our bath, manicure
and massage.

First, of course, there is
the matter of aptitude tests
and things.

Tests? Gosh, I don't know.

Certainly, a few tests. We shall
be overwhelmed to accommodate.

Lead on, Macduff. Whatever
hardships lie ahead,
we are ready.

I wonder what sort of tests
they have in mind.

What kind of tests can they be
if a chimp can do them? A snap.

BERNIE: Gentlemen, I would like
you to meet a fellow rocketeer.

This is Marvo.

[GIBBERS]

-And now, we're ready inside.
-I'll take it first, fellas.
You guys observe how it's done.

The big thing is not to make
that dumb chimp look too bad.
Got it?

To test manual dexterity...

...the idea is to use the string
and stick on the table...

...to construct whatever you can
in 20 seconds.

-Are you ready?
TOP CAT: Check.

[MARVO GIBBERS]

Very well. Start.

BENNY: Go get them, T.C.!
-Go, go, go, T.C., baby.

-Do your very best.
-Time's up.

What have you made,
Mr. Top Cat?

Well, It's a house.
A dwelling, that is.

[g*ng CHEERING]

BERNIE: Let's see what Marvo
has made.
-Yeah, that ought to be a laugh.

No wonder I couldn't
do anything. I got stuck
with a batch of bad string.

Now, in this test, I will hold
up a card with a formula.

If you think it is correct,
push the white button
on your desk.

If it is wrong,
push the black button.

One thing more. If you make
a mistake, you get
an electric shock.

-Ready?
TOP CAT: Flip them, doc.

[MARVO GIBBERS]

TOP CAT:
"5D times H2O equals SRO."

Oh, yeah, yeah. That one.

Um.. Uh, you think this one?

How about this one?

That's what I figured. Just
checking if you knew it too.

[TOP CAT CRASHES]

Marvo, you know, I wish
you were back swinging
through them trees.

But on the end of a rope.

Now we come to the vocabulary
test to check your knowledge
of word.

First, write a word
that means "cat."

Look, doc, you wouldn't be
putting me on now, would you?

Very well, we'll change it.
Write another word
for "chimpanzee."

Another word. Let's see.
Oh, sure. Sure.

And no peeking, Marvo.

[MARVO GIBBERS]

Hey, look at genius here: "Ant."
That is something. Knuckles,
you k*ll me.

Doc, get a load of what our
fuzzy friend has come up with.

BERNIE:
"Anthropoid." Very good.

[GIBBERS]

I hate a showoff.

Now, this next test is to check
your reaction to high places.

Oh, don't worry about me
on that. The higher, the better.

Here we are, top of
the building, 60 stories up.

Nice and cool here.
Did you say 60 stories?

Help! Hold me. Don't-- Don't let
the building fall.

Help! Help! Save me!

There's nothing to fear,
Mr. Top Cat.

I'll be with you
as soon as I check Marvo.

[GIBBERING]

Marvelous! Absolutely marvelous!

Oh, he's not so much. After all,
he has a rope to hang onto.

-But he looks pretty good.
-Why not? Who do you think
taught him?

CHOO-CHOO:
So this is that private suite,
huh?

It's private, all right. Nobody
can get in, we can't get out.

And that food wasn't much.

The chef's probably
on vacation...

...or maybe he flew back
to France to get us
a fresh basket of truffles.

[GIBBERS]

Anyway, Marvo seems to like it.

[GIBBERS]

Look, T.C., I think maybe
we should, like, uh,
blow this pad.

The old alley was better
than this here, uh, Bleaksville.

Yeah, Spook, there's
something wrong. I'll check with
the low forehead here.

Look, Marvo, old buddy,
not that I'm impatient
or anything...

...but what time do the massages
begin? And the champagne?

-Eek?
TOP CAT: Like it says
in the newspaper:

The piped in music,
special food, silk sheets,
and the limousines.

Incidentally, do we have
a choice of color?

Shouldn't there be
an orchestra? Dances?

[GIBBERS THEN LAUGHING]

I think he's trying
to tell us something.

He's probably trying to tell us
we've been had.

Come on, we're getting out
of here if we have to dig
our way out.

Well, is your, group all set for
the big move, Officer Dibble?

-Yes, sir, doctor. All set.
-Naturally, you'll come along.

You've been doing good work.
Very, very good.

And you seem to know the members
of the group pretty well.

And you do play golf, don't you?

-Yes, sir, a little.
DOCTOR: Then it's all set.

Sir, could I ask where
we're going?

Oh, no. Oh, sorry, Dibble.
Oh, top secret.

Not to be divulged
under any circumstances.

I understand, sir.

-Aren't you gonna ask me
for a hint?
-No, sir, not if it's secret.

-Would you like a teeny clue?
-Oh, no. No, no, sir.

All right, all right,
stop nagging.

It's the launching site
at the Cape.

Ha, ha, I don't know how
you wormed it out of me.

-Ha, ha, but we're off
to Florida.
-Florida?

Come on, T.C., let's go.

Wait a minute, Benny, I just
heard something wonderful.

The food, the quarters,
the workouts. They've just been
testing us.

-Tomorrow starts the vacation.
-Are you're sure, T.C.?

TOP CAT: Why else would they be
sending us to Florida?

And to think we were about
to leave.

Oh, I can see it now: the gals.

-The golden sand.
-Yeah, the sunshine.

-The bathing beauties.
-The nightspots, man.

The swaying palm trees.

Uh, we can even go to
the dog races. I just love dogs.

ALL: You're kidding!
-Well, it was just a thought.

Marvo, old buddy, we're off
to Florida. Better get ready.

[GIBBERS]

CHOO-CHOO:
Whereabouts in Florida
are we going?

I don't know exactly, Chooch.
Cape something-or-other.

What's the difference.
It's bound to be a picnic.

Who's got my bathing suit?

The place was Cape something
in Florida.

But what was that something?
If I could only remember.

Just keep on forgetting it,
Chooch. There's nothing
to worry about.

Florida, here we come.

All right, we're here, you guys.
Come on, get moving.
Into the tunnel.

Okay, Dibble, just be sure
we get a cabana with a view
of the ocean.

Get moving, T.C.

BENNY: And have a bucket of ice
sent right up, Dibble.

FANCY: And be at the golf course
in half an hour, Dibble.

You can carry my clubs.

Cabanas, ice, golf?
And what's on your mind?

[GIBBERS]

-Welcome to the Cape.
And how are the patriots?
-Fine, doc.

Good. Follow me. Your quarters
are down at the other end.

Cape...? Cape...?

-I can't quite think
of that other name.
-If I could only rember.

What's the difference?
I don't think we'll be staying
here long anyway.

It isn't Cape Cod.
The other word is longer.

And it was a special place
where something happened.

-Come on, Chooch, let's hurry
it up.
CHOO-CHOO: Cape-- Cape--

[CHOO-CHOO COUGHING]

What is it?

"C-A-N-A-V-E-R-A-L."

-Canaveral.
CHOO-CHOO: Yeah.

That's it, T.C.
We're at Cape Canaveral.

But that's the place where they:

[ZOOMS]

Fellas, you know where we are?
Cape, and get this, Canaveral.

-Canaveral?
-You mean, where they:

[ZOOMS]

-Uh-huh.
-And moreover, they--

[ZOOMS]

--with us in the zoomer.
-That's not for me.

Man, we gotta get out of here
and not, like, uh, straight up.

Yeah, but let's be smart
about it. We have one more test.

Okay, we all put down
the wrong answers.

They mark the papers,
Marvo gets the high score
and the ride.

Just make sure, all the
wrong answers on the test.

And don't tip off Marvo.

Thank you, gentlemen. That
completes the final examination.

Yes, whoever gets the best mark
in the test...

...will ride the rocket tonight.

-Eek, eek?
-Eek.

DOCTOR: Now, the flight
is planned to the last detail.

The rocket will zoom up a 1,000
miles, more or less.

And then, it will circle
the Earth five times.

Or was it 10 times?
Oh, no matter, one or the other.

Eek?

And then you'll come splashing
down into the Atlantic.

And the Navy will pick you up.
At least, we asked them to.

And now, let's have those
test papers to see who will make
the trip.

BERNIE: One more thing,
gentlemen. Sign your papers...

...and the electronic brain
will give us the name of
the winner.

And there's the loser--!
I mean, the winner!

-Top Cat will ride the rocket!
-Congratulations.

[STAMMERING]
But there must be some mistake.

No, no, no. You won.

Your paper didn't contain
a single mistake.

[LAUGHING]

I tell you, it's getting so
you can't trust anybody anymore.

TOP CAT: Look, Marvo, old pal,
are you sure you wouldn't like
to go?

I understand they're paying


[GIBBERS]

All set, T.C.
You blast off in two minutes.

I'll tell them you're all set.

TOP CAT: What are you doing,
writing a letter home?

-Eek.
-Mm. Tell me, pal...

...you've been away from home
a long time, right?

-Eek.
TOP CAT: But you still
think fondly...

-...of your family and friends.
-Eek, eek.

TOP CAT:
And they miss you too,
don't they?

MARVO:
Eek.

TOP CAT: Is that you there,
the baby?
MARVO: Eek.

And they're waiting there
for you, aren't they?

Hoping against hope every time
they hear a footstep...

...or knuckles dragging on
the ground, that it will be
their little Marvo.

[SOBBING]

They still have your picture
on the piano...

...and a light in the window
every night.

They want to see you
and you can see them, Marvo.
Yes, you can.

-Eek?
-All you got to do is
get in the rocket.

I move the landing control
from the ocean to your home
in Africa...

...and you parachute down
to your loved ones.
What do you say?

[GIBBERS]

Good. Let's switch helmets
and you're all set to go.

[GIBBERING]

Let's go, T.C.

We won't be needing you, Marvo.
We have our hero.

[TOP CAT GIBBERS]

And, Marvo, do something
about that cold.

-He's a brave one, all right.
-The bravest.

Yes, sir, T.C., you're
a gentleman through and through.

-Check.
-Cream of the crop.

-Double check.
-All set, doctor. Shall we blast
her off?

All set? All set--? Yes, yes.
All set, all set.
Start the countdown.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]:
#Ten, nine, eight...

#...seven, six, pick up sticks.

A new man.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]:
#Five, four, shut the door.

#Three, two, one, blastoff.

There goes the bravest,
most courageous individual
I've ever known.

-A real prince.
-Oh, you're just saying that.

T.C. But you're..
But you're.. Uh, who--?

Marvo's taking the first one.
What could I do? He insisted.

So I picked the wrong guy,
so they sent me back
to my old beat.

-Was it my fault?
-I tried to alert you...

...but Marvo had stuffed
a bana in my mouth.

-Yeah, it was a tough break.
-Tough? That's hardly the word.

Here I am, earthbound,
while my heart is up there
amidst the stars.

The poor ape.

They never did find any trace
of the rocket, did they?

Neither hide nor hair,
if you get what I mean.

POSTMAN: Package here
for Top Cat.
-If it's COD, he's not here.

-No, it's all paid for.
-Where do I sign?

Look, it's from overseas:
Africa.

Who could have sent it,
I wonder?

-Look, T.C., it's full
of banas.
-And here's a card.

Let me see. "Compliments of
a friend and grateful family."

And it's signed, "Eek, eek."

ALL:
Eek, eek.

What's all this "Eek, eek"
stuff?

Guess the boys just have a touch
of indigestion. Have a bana,
Dibble.

Yes, sir. My hat's off to Marvo,
a brave chimp.

Uh, who'd you say
sent you the banas?

TOP CAT:
Uh, they're from an anthropoid.

[MUMBLES]
An anthropoid, huh? That's nice.

But getting back to chimpanzees,
I'll always remember Marvo.

So will I, so will I.

And why shouldn't
I remember him?

After all, he remembered me.

♪ Top Cat! ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat! ♪

♪ Who's intellectual close
friends get to call him T.C. ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top Cat! ♪

♪ The indisputable leader
of the g*ng. ♪

♪ He's the boss, he's a pip,
he's the championship. ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ Yes he's a chief
he's a king ♪

♪ But above everything
He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat! ♪