03x06 - Inskunktion / Double Double Squirrel in Trouble

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

This episode was created in a peanut-free environment.

♪♪♪

Scaredy: [humming]

Dave: hey, scaredy. Nice display.

Thanks, dave. I was...

Is... Is that jam?

Yup. On your mark!

Aggghhhhhh!

Get set!

Goooooooo!

[Jam splatters]

[Squeegee squeaks]

Well, at least my display-

Aghhhhh! Oh!

Dave: simple answer:

I am jam ninja.

Bonzi! Awesomeness!

Oopsie.

Pain.

Nestor: whaaaaaaaa!

[Gulps] maybe your mother can get the stains out

With this stuff.

It says right on the box,

"We guarantee...nothing"?

And what makes you think

I don't know how to do my own laundry?

Ooh... Awkward.

Awkward makes me thirsty.

[Glugging]

Well, no, I just figured...

Figured what? Huh? What?!

That I don't know how to use a washing machine?

You probably think

I don't know how to iron my own ties,

Or hem my own pants!

I didn't mean to upset you, I was just-

Just what?

Think I don't know how to vacuum

Or compost leftovers!

Agggghhhhhh!

Um, guys?

Nestor: you think I can't function on my own?

You think I'm not a man bird?

Aghhhh!

Scaredy: what is happening?

I'll tell you what's happening!

I'm... I'm moving out on my own!

Momma: you're what?!

Uh-oh.

[Yelps] mother!

I didn't know- I was just- well-

Look what scaredy did!

Moving out? Ha!

You're not smart, strong, or bird enough,

And you'd be lost without my loving guidance!

Scaredy: maybe we should all calm down and think about-

Well then...

There's only one way to prove you wrong, mother.

Time to spread my wings and...

And walk to a new nest.

Your failure will be my victory!

Aghhh!

The ol' kayak in the purse trick.

What an exit.

Nestor, I hope that wasn't my fault

Because I really- everybody back to work!

Did I cause that?

Good morning, mrs. Nestor's mother.

I have no son!

Aghhh!

[Smacking]

Uh...

[Phone rings]

I have no son!

[Momma growls angrily]

Momma: attention, shoppers!

Anyone who is a son, or has ever been one,

Must exit the store immediately!

[Panicked screaming]

Momma: that goes for the ball of fire in the sky, too.

No suns allowed! Period!

Now I'm going home, alone...

Where I'll be alone.

Scaredy: I think I'll go check on mrs. Nestor's mother tonight.

Momma: all alone! [Echoes]

Scaredy: I just thought I'd come by in case you were feeling,

You know... [Slurps]

Lonely without the only son that I did everything with?

[Scaredy gasps]

Momma: mother and son motorcycle scavenger hunt,

Mother and son hot dog eating contest,

And balsa's annual mother and son

Three-legged race.

Oh, that's coming up this weekend.

Did you and nestor ever win a trophy?

Not one, just ribbons of failure!

Pretty sure they're called participation ribbons.

Momma: when nestor moved out,

I shredded them to make yarn.

Hold the yarn. Do it!

I should probably go... 'Cause I'm-

Ungh!

What happened? I should be h*-oo-ome!

Richard, how did I get home?

Momma: you didn't; I moved your stuff in.

Scaredy: agggghhhhhhhh! Why?!

Momma: because you live here now.

And if you say no, you're out of a job.

But... But i...

Momma: breakfast's ready.

I hope you like worms.

[Dry-heaving grunts, vomits loudly]

Scaredy: [screams]

Unnnnnggghhhh!

Shhh! Did you hear that?

Hear what?

Slam! Ow!

That's what! [Laughs victoriously]

Twelve in a row for momma!

So, um, tomorrow morning, I uh...

I need to move back home.

Why?! Reason - and it better be good!

Oh, um... Reason?

'Cause see... Well, there is a...

This is where you live now!

[Growls]

I live here. I can live here.

Yeah. This is where I live now. Here.

[Growls menacingly] [nervous chuckle]

Hmm... So you just woke up like that?

Yes! We have to get mrs. Nestor's mother

To be nestor's mother again!

Nestor: not gonna happen, feather face!

Introducing... Be my new mother mania!

You're auditioning for a new mother?

Yup. Tryouts start in an hour.

I think I know how to fix this.

Right! I'll get the jam.

No, dave, you're gonna be nestor's new mom.

But I'm not ready to be a mother!

Scaredy: it's easy.

Just say mom things like, "I'm proud of you,"

And "you're beautiful," and-

"You're my favourite son"?

Yeah, just like that!

That's what my mom always said to my brother.

I'll go get my purse!

Uh...

Nestor: would I be living in a house or an apartment?

In a hole.

Nexxxxt! [Buzzer blares]

[Growls menacingly]

[Scared] next... [Buzzer blares]

Next! [Buzzer blares]

[Groans]

Dave: pardon me,

Are you the little boy looking for a new mother?

Yes.

I'm proud of you.

Really? Thank you.

[Coughs and clears throat]

And what are your best motherly qualities?

Well, I um... I...

Tell him he's a wonderful child.

He's a wonderful child.

Who is?

Mother dave: oops! You! [Giggles]

Scaredy: I support you, no matter what.

Thanks, buddy.

Who are you talking to?

I support you.

Your answers are perfect so far.

No, you're perfect.

And do you know what a perfect son gets?

A loving mother.

Whaaa!

You're hired!

Hhheeeelllp!

You did it, dave!

Now all you have to do is be a terrible mom

And nestor will go crawling back to his mother.

Nuh-unh!

I'm gonna be the best mommy he ever had -

The best!

What?! No, dave!

Nestor: new momma, whatcha doin'?

Making lunch. Here.

Wow! Old momma never let me eat candy.

You're the best.

Momma: no, bestor is the best.

Bestor?!

Yes, bestor -

As in the best nestor.

You changed my name?! Great!

Now I'm gonna need a new library card.

C'mon, bestor, let's go home,

It's bath night.

Scaredy: bath?!

Both: oooh... Awkward.

Oh.

[Gagging] uh-uh...

Mamma: [growls]

[Bell dings]

[Pop]

[Loud crash]

[Giggling]

[Regurgitating]

Ewwww.

Momma: so did you enjoy watching foxtrot cage-fight fridays?

Say you did!

For a show about dancing, it seemed pretty...

Pretty violent.

That's what happens

When you're dancing for your life.

Oh, hey, scare.

I mean, good day to you, fine sirs.

My new momma and I are the best mother-son team ever.

Not possible,

Because me and bestor make a better team!

Teams! Yes!

We can prove who makes the best team

By competing in tomorrow's mother and son

Three-legged race!

Fine. Fine!

Fine. Finer!

Finest! Infineity!!

May the best mother-son team win.

Scaredy: dave! I have a plan.

It's mrs. Dave to you.

And if your plan involves being a bad mother

I want no part of it.

Please, dave!

All we have to do is lag behind

So they can see they had it better

When they were a team.

You just want to make me look silly

And I will not let that happen.

No, sir.

I hope you're hungry.

'Cause you're gonna eat our dust.

Isn't nestor allergic to dust?

And your point is?

Murray: on your marks... Get set...

Go! [Blows whistle]

[Cheering]

Scaredy and dave: [screaming]

Dave: I never knew birds could run this fast!

Fear my super strides!

You mean the ones that caused you

To trip me last year?

I wouldn't have tripped you

If you hadn't stumbled out in front of me!

You ran in front of me!

You tied our legs too tight!

Momma: doesn't matter,

You're gonna lose and I'm finally gonna win.

Dave: this hurts so much!

Make it stop!

Scaredy: grab a leg, dave, any leg.

All: ahh! Whoa! Yikes! Eep!

[Crowd cheers]

Nestor: yes! Momma: we won!

No! New momma and I won.

Bestor and I are the winners!

You're both right! See?

Nestor: we... We won?

We did?

[Cheering]

Momma: nestor, son, I'm... I'm...

P-p-pur-prrr...

Proud of you! Uggghhhh!

Momma, I wanna come home!

I miss you! [Crying]

You're ruining it.

Squirrel, come and get your stuff tonight

Or it goes in the trash.

[Sighs] can I be your mom?

No, no you can't.

Momma: if we put it on the coffee table,

It's gonna block the tv.

Well, who wants to watch tv

When you can watch your trophy?

[Clang] fine.

Put it where you want.

Momma: it is where I want it.

Nestor: agh! Help me get this off my head!

Momma: maybe in the morning.

I'm tired. [Lights click off]

Nestor: mother? Mother?!!

♪♪♪

[Owl hoots, rooster crows]

[Alarm clock rings, smashes clock]

Day another bertha!

Happy ride to time!

[Brain clangs around] another happy day!

Time to ride bertha!

[Whistling]

Oh, bertha. Ha ha ha!

That's what I thought too.

Oh, let me get that for you.

♪ Riding on a fire truck

♪ Me gonna be doing that

♪ Yup, yup, yup, yup

[Giggling]

Scaredy: hey, dave, guess what?

Today's the day bertha gets her annual overhaul.

[Gasps] new springs, oil, paint,

The whole shebang!

Oh wow! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

But he's not quite done yet.

So you gotta wait for a bit.

Woo-hoo! [Panting]

[Struggling grunts]

Whoa there, fella. Easy now.

She's lookin' awful shiny

But you gotta give 'er some time. [Whinnies]

Done. Grease needs settlin'.

Another 45 seconds just to be safe.

Don't you worry,

Safety's not something I take lightly

So I'll be sure to keep eye on-

[Gasps]

Daaave! Noooooooooo!

Aghhhhhhhhh!

Aghhhhhhhhh!

Oh! So prett-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Flames roar]

[Inhales deeply and blows]

"Emergency powdered water. Just add water."

[Plop]

I gotcha, buddy! [Loud crash]

Agh! Dave!

It's okay, I know first aid,

And second aid.

I haven't taken third aid yet.

I hope this isn't a third aid injury!

Bertha!

You... You hurt me!

I will never ride you again!

[Sobbing]

Dave?

[Sobbing]

Dave!

[Sobbing]

[Door squeaks open]

[Sobbing]

Dave!

My name's buck, and there's no need to shout.

Sheesh!

[Knocks] dave, are you okay?

Dave: go away!

Dave? Buddy?

[Crying]

Um... Why are you...

I'm out of tissues.

[Blows] you want a sandwich?

Ewwww! Not right now,

And probably never again.

Look, dave, bertha didn't mean to hurt you.

We don't talk about her in this trailer - ever!

[Sobs and blows his nose]

Maybe it's time for a new ride, huh?

Something fun and exciting?!

C'mon! It'll be an adventure!

And it's gotta be more fun than eating sandwiches.

[Struggling grunts]

Aw! I hate adventure and excitement,

But I guess I gotta go outside eventually.

I'm out of bread.

Dave, I know where we'll find your new ride for sure!

Come on!

Scaredy: look at you go, dave!

I think you're gonna win this race!

Old snail: and the snail takes it!

Dave: [sobs]

Dave: oh boy!

Uh, dave?

[Growls] [sobs]

All aboard!

Get off-a my ship! Not-a that a-way!

Dave and scaredy: [gasp]

Dave: worst. Ride. Ever.

[Sobs]

[Sobbing] so we didn't find you a new ride

At a place full of rides.

Don't sweat it, we'll find you something,

Somewhere,

In this sketchy section of the fair.

[Heavenly choir sings]

Look at this, huh?

A motorcycle!

Motorcycles are cool, right?

I guess.

Hey, this is about trying something new.

[Sighs]

Uncomfortable.

Everyone can see my feet.

I hate it and the sadness continues.

C'mon now, dave, keep an open mind.

This is a new ride.

A new ride for a brand new dave.

[Coins clink, electrics fizzle]

[Motorcycle rumbles]

Scaredy: huh? Huh? Yeah, right? Yeah?

Whaddya think this button does?

[Engine revs]

Oh yeah! A brand new...

[Deep, menacing voice] dave.

Whoa! I should get back to work.

You stay, have some fun!

I'll catch up with you later.

[Engine revs louder and louder]

[Eye-flames flare]

Scaredy: [humming]

[Struggling grunts]

Scaredy: excuse me, why is that bike here?

Who are you guys delivering for?

Dave, those bears just dropped off the motor-

[Deep, menacing voice] dude! Dude! Shhh! I know.

But how did it-

I took it. I took the bike.

Like took-took took it?

Or asked-nicely-and-had-it- given-to-you took it?

Don't worry.

I asked and they gave it to me, okay, mom?

Oh. Okay. Good. Whew!

I was worried that you'd maybe-

Let's ride, baby.

[Growls]

[Coin yelps]

The only reason I asked was because-

[Revs engine]

Scaredy: because if you didn't ask, then-

[Revs engine]

I gotta work.

We'll talk later, okay?

Squirrel dawg.

Ooh, dave, love the sunglasses.

What's the uv rating on those?

New dave prefers you don't touch.

Mm'okay.

So I'm really happy you like the motorbike

And that you're, you know,

Getting into character to ride it, but-

Nestor: talk-talk-talk.

Talking is not stacking!

You'd better start-

Hey! I'm having a conversation with my friend!

[Shrieks] waggghhhh!

[Panicked whimpering]

[Chuckles]

Birds look funny when they run.

You can't talk to nestor like that!

Squirrel dawg, I don't make rules,

I break rules.

[Engine revs]

That's my ride. Peace out.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Crumbs.

[Mud splats]

[Mud splats]

[Revs engine, laughs maniacally]

[Spray hisses]

[Chomps]

[Revs engine, laughs manically]

[Revs engine, laughs hysterically]

New dave: [belches loudly]

[Belches loudly]

[Belches even louder]

[Revs engine, laughs maniacally]

[Splash]

And when I started to give him a piece of my mind

Guess what he did with my mop?!

Just guess! Um...

Are we allowed to sell apples

With bites out of 'em?

No.

Then we're out of apples.

That motorbike has turned him into a monster!

Destroy the bike, scaredy! Destroy it!

I can't do that.

I just need to get him to forgive bertha somehow.

Well, until that happens, you can mop the floors!

Okay.

I'll just go tell him the bike has to go.

Nestor: don't bother.

Aghhhh!

Bikers will only listen to one thing:

A tougher biker.

That's the biker code.

How do you know that?

Mother used to ride with the balsa old birds.

[Laughing wildly]

Nestor: stop imagining it!

Stop it!

So he'll only listen to a tougher biker.

Hmm...

Nestor: back to work!

Not payin'... Again.

Scaredy: hold that bus, please!

I didn't say "please." That was someone else,

Someone not me.

Now I'm going to pay my fare

And I don't want any lip about it,

You got that!

You're supposed to pay, so-

And I'm going to pay for him too,

And for the other free rides he took.

Anyone got an issue with that?! Huh?

Heyah!

Yo, squirrel dawg, what's with the outfit?

Just being me, toughest squirrel in town.

Thank you for asking.

Not thank you, but...

Some lesser expression of kindness.

That is hardcore.

Hardcore is my middle name.

I thought it was orville.

Hardcore-ville.

[Bell dings] this is our stop.

[Screeches to a halt]

Scaredy: [tough] ladies first.

Fancy goose: aren't you nice!

Wait! Nope. Us first!

'Cause I'm not nice at all!

Ruuuude! That's me!

I'm so sorry!

Under-normal-cicumstances- i-would've-let-you-in-before-me-

But-i-am-trying-to-show- my-friend-that-being-mean-isn't-

And that goes double for you!

Man, you're so tough!

Yes. 100 Percent correct, I am.

Wanna ride with me? Be part of my crew?

Maybe. This crew gotta cool name?

Pffft! Yeah, of course.

The, um, balsa city old bir-boys.

Bir-boys? What's a bir-boy?

You want in or not? Heyah! Ow!

Should have stretched.

Do we get matching jackets?

Why do we need- yeah, sure, jackets.

We don't have them yet, so we wear...

We wear these stickers that say "on sale."

Just until the jackets are ready.

Cool! Is there a secret handshake or a-

[Karate grunts]

You want in or not?!

Yeah! Yeah! I want in!

All right then.

I ride the bike, you ride the fire truck.

But wait, uh...

Do you wanna ride with the balsa city bad bir-boys

Or not?

Yeah, but this truck-

You in or out?!

Dave: but it threw- scaredy: in or out?!

Gotta decide!

I swore I'd never-

In or out?!

I really don't wanna...

So you're out?

I'm in!

All right then...

Don't make me take that sticker back.

[Gulps]

[Change clinks]

[Truck dings]

[Sobbing]

I knew you didn't mean to hurt me!

I missed you so much...

Scaredy, can I have another quarter please?

Yes, my old friend, you certainly can.

So mmmuuuuuuuch!

[Sighs] nice to have everything back to normal again.

[Motorcycle engine revs]

Nestor: mildred,

Why aren't you at the cash

Where you're supposed to be?!

[Belches loudly]

[Shrieks] waggghhhh!

Sweet acorns!

♪♪♪

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Today's topic is "patience."

Sometimes it's really important to be able to wait.

This chart will help demonstrate all the reasons-

Whoa, scaredy, don't start yet.

Dave, I have to start.

We're on camera and people are watch-

Hey, this is about patience.

Slowwww it dowwwwn.

I wasn't rushing it, I just doing-

Where's the fire, huh? Where?

Where's the beef?

Where's the fire and the beef?

You in a rush to get to a barbecue?

I don't understand anything you just said.

Now, can I please just do the talking?

Dave: not yet.

Hey! I need that chart to show the people-

Waiiiiiiiiit!

The show is going to end any second!

Patience, scaredy! There's plenty-

[Static hisses loudly]